Radar Love
by nolongertime
Summary: MerDer AU. . . What happens when Meredith and Derek collide in the racing world? The problem? Alex, Meredith's twin, is Derek biggest competition and worst enemy.
1. The Race Is On

This first update is in script form, but the rest of this story is paragraph form, I have seen growth in my writing from this to where I am now. I do this TOTALLY for fun. . . This is my first fic and have quite a few updates already written. Hope you enjoy . . .

Disclaimer: I don't own grey's anatomy or any characters on the show. If I did, Meredith and Derek would be happily naked and loving life (and maybe doing surgery on the side).

This fic will have content of the sexual nature and strong language - race car drivers as well as doctors do not have the best language. They also like sex, lots and lots of it. . .

This new fic is Radar Love and I am nervous and excited! I have had this idea for a while and surprised it hasn't been done - or it hasn't to my knowledge.

Thanks to teamder-mer and kdurbs for encouraging me to try this out. . .

I hope to post once a day, but I am in grad school and work full time and sometimes my 3D life gets busy. So, at least every other day. . .

Oh - and this is Maggie's fic land and anything is possible or can happen especially in my racing world. So, sit back and enjoy!

Read and enjoy. I am posting the song lyrics and first chapter . . .

Radar Love  
By: Golden Earring

I've been drivin' all night my hand's wet on the wheel  
There's a voice in my head that drives my heel  
And my baby calls that she needs me here  
It's half past four and I'm shifting gear

When she gets lonely and the longing gets too much  
She sends a cable comin' in from above  
We don't need to talk at all  
We got a thing that's called radar love  
We got a wave in the air  
Radar Love

The Radio's playin' some forgotten song  
Brenda Lee's coming on strong  
The road has got me hypnotized  
And I'm spinning into a new sunrise

When I get lonely and I'm sure I've had enough  
She sends her comfort coming in from above  
We don't need a letter at all  
We got a thing that's called radar love  
We got a line in the sky  
Radar Love  
No more speed I'm almost there  
Gotta keep cool now, gotta take care  
Last car to pass here I go  
And the line of cars goes down real slow

And the radio played some forgotten song  
Brenda Lee's coming on strong  
And the newsman sang his same song  
Oh one more radar lover gone  
When I get lonely and I'm sure I've had enough  
She sends her comfort coming in from above  
We don't need a letter at all  
We got a thing that's called radar love  
We got a line in the sky  
We got a thing that's called radar love  
We got a thing that's called radar love

The smell of the rubber, the smell of the tires, the smell of the track and all that comes with it. . . Something that Derek Shepherd can't live without. Although his parents can't understand his love of racing, it means as much to him as the air he breaths. For years, they have tried to talk him out of racing but they realize it's a useless cause. But what can they say when their son just finished his first year of medical school. They also worry about his lack of social life as he spends all of his time studying or racing. He just can't and won't give either up.

Mark: So, Derek, are you ready tonight?

Derek: Yes, I can't believe I haven't been out on the track racing for a month.

Mark: Well, believe it man. Wow, look at the ladies tonight.

Derek: You are hopeless you know – just concentrate on getting my car ready tonight. I don't need you running off after some female.

Mark: You need to lighten up, get out a little. Don't take racing and school so serious. I swear, it is one or the other, but never fun. Lighten up.

Derek: Yeah, well, when I am making the big bucks, don't come running to me.

Mark: Hey man, I will be right with you except I will be making the world a much more beautiful place. What can be better than playing with breasts all day and making them bigger?

Derek: You really are hopeless. But right now, I want you to make sure everyone in the pit is ready and knows his job tonight. I don't want the problems we had a month ago. When I come in for a pit stop, my tires better be on in record time and you better get your ass in high gear with the gas!

Just about this time, the crew that is stationed beside them starts coming up with their racer, Alex Grey with one of his many women.

Alex: Well, well, what do we have here? Blaming your crew for your loss a month ago? You should know better than that, I am just that good.

Derek: I don't have time for your ego tonight, Alex, I have to prepare to win the race. I see you have brought another Barbie again tonight.

Alex: Don't you wish you could have something half as beautiful as her.

Derek: No, I care nothing about having a different bimbo on my arm every week.

Alex: You may not, but your best friend seems to like it. He just wishes he could have my leftovers.

Mark (_with a smirk on his face)_: Actually Alex, that is one of my leftovers, go and screw her or get ready for the race.

Alex: Fine, have fun seeing my tail lights, Derek.

Mark: You wish.

Mark and Derek go over to Derek's car to check it over. Alex gives a hard, passionate kiss to his bimbo and starts to get his car ready. This is the first time these guys have raced in a month. They are usually both in the top 5 each race and usually they place first and second. They have been rivals for the last few racing seasons; Derek was the race leader the season before last and Alex was the race leader last season. It didn't help that he just found out that Alex had gotten into the same med school as he and Mark. Derek wondered how Alex had gotten in, but when you have a famous connection (that is what Derek heard), of course you would get in. Derek wasn't shocked that Mark got in to med school with him, but was surprised he was even interested. He said for a long time he just wanted to have an easy life, make lots of money, and have a girl a week. But, Mark was good, surprisingly good in med school.

As the racers get in their cars and head to the starting line, Derek mentally prepares himself for the grueling race. He starts his mental pre-game routine before Mark makes his famous last words on over the radio: It's a beautiful night to win a race, so let's have some fun. As Derek grinned, the light turned green, pedals to the metal, the race was on. . .


	2. The Winner of the Race

Meredith is trying to unpack boxes but is having a lot of difficulty. "Why does he have to do this, I know he loves it, but it is so dangerous," she thought to herself. She hated watching the races by herself and was glad Cristina would be back from the store any minute. They had no food in the condo that Meredith, Cristina, and Alex were moving into. Meredith and Cristina had been doing most of the moving because Alex had been busy and was not able to help them.

The pre-race show started and Meredith watched as she unpacked boxes. The last 4 years have been hard. She and Alex did not go to the same college and were not even in the same state. She tried to make as many of the races she could, but it was hard; she is a very serious student. Cristina was always with her to watch the races. The one time Alex did get in a wreck was pure hell for Meredith. She was three hours away by plane and couldn't be there. It really wasn't a bad wreck, but for Meredith it felt as though she had also wrecked; being a twin seems to have the effect. She supported him every step of the way with his racing, but just worried so much about him.

She heard her brother's name called out and immediately got that uneasy feeling at the pit of the stomach that she always gets when he races. "Are we ready to watch cars go around and around for no apparent reason?" Cristina said as she walked in the door with pizza in hand.

"For your information, it is a very hard sport and requires full mental attention when in the race car," Meredith said back with a hint of worry in her voice.

Cristina wanted to make a snarky comment back, but knew better. She has always been there for her person when Alex races. She will never forget the night Alex wrecked. That was a very long night for both of them. At least he was smart enough to call her immediately to tell Meredith he was ok.

Meredith never wanted to watch the races with many people. In fact, in the 3 years Alex has been racing, only two other people were allowed to watch the races with them – their mother and brother. Meredith said it was because she got so nervous, but Cristina knew it was because she wanted her brother to win so badly and took it very hard when he did not. She was very competitive at everything she did. That was something they all had in common. Cristina wasn't sure how it was going to work with them all living together. She had only met Alex 2 times and neither was very pleasant. In fact, Cristina named him Evil Spawn. But, Meredith insisted and she would do most anything for her person. At least their bedrooms were on different floors of the condo. Meredith and Cristina were upstairs and Alex was downstairs. At least they wouldn't have to hear him and his women. There were plenty of them and Meredith never approved. Meredith had her fair share of sleeping with men, but Alex never knew this side of his sister. She was studying, drinking tequila at the bar across from campus, or bringing a guy home. She told Cristina she was going to stop when they moved to go to med school, Cristina wasn't buying it.

"Why don't you eat some of the pizza before the race starts," Cristina said, knowing she probably wouldn't eat anything.

"I am not hungry right now, plus I am busy trying to unpack the kitchen boxes." Meredith replied. Her stomach was grumbling from hunger, but she just couldn't eat anything due to the nerves.

The race started and was pretty uneventful. Meredith really wanted to go to this one, but she really wanted to finish unpacking boxes and finish moving in. She is going to the next one for sure.

"I just don't understand why he wants to continue doing this. He is starting med school and needs to be serious. I will always support him in whatever it is he does but I am just worried about him." Meredith tells Cristina towards the end of the race.

"Are you going to the next race?" Christina asks.

"Yeah, he really wants me to be there with him. You know, when we were in high school I used to help him in the crew at the small local races he used to race in."

"I bet he likes Barbie being there more." Cristina shot out of her mouth without thinking. It was no secret he liked the women. She tried to quickly ask a question, "Will you help out in the crew next week?"

"I doubt it, I haven't done that stuff in 4 ½ years, but it is fun, you should try it out."

"Seriously??? I can't risk my beautiful hands that are going to make me millions to help out Evil Spawn."

"You, who drives a motorcycle is worried about messing your hands up by helping change oil." Meredith replies with a smirk on her face.

Cristina is glad she is at least getting Meredith to talk. She will not talk the entire first half of the race. She doesn't understand this connection between Meredith and Alex as she doesn't have any siblings. She does understand the need for them to be there for each other as there have been many times she needed Meredith to be there for her unconditionally.

Cristina was glad Alex seemed to be doing well tonight because the nights he wasn't, Meredith really took it hard and was pretty bitchy. He has been going between 1st and 2nd most of the night. Of course, the person who he has been going neck and neck with is Derek Shepherd, his main competitor.

With 5 laps to go the TV goes black. . .

"Meredith, quite trying to call him, he is still racing." Christina says, watching Meredith pace, something she has seen her do on many occasions.

"Why did the damn cable have to go out? I am calling to cancel the cable first thing Monday morning. I knew we should have gotten satellite. We wouldn't have this problem." Meredith is doing her usual freak out over something not going right.

"Get your panties out of your ass, calm down, he will be ok and will probably win."

Meredith decided to try and turn her anger towards something productive so she decided to go unpack some things in Alex's room. She knew if she didn't do it, no one would.

With a smirk on her face, Cristina came in the room and said, "why don't you just text small fry to see if Alex won or not."

Meredith hated that she had told Cristina about her drunken encounter with Brad, Alex's pit boss. About a year ago, she flew to one of his races and they all went out for drinks after Alex's win. Well, tequila and men go hand and hand. The next thing she knew, she was waking up in her hotel room with Brad. Cristina remembers the night Meredith told her; Meredith was drinking tequila and rambling on and on about her trip. She told Cristina, "He may have had a small cock but he knew how to use his tongue better than anyone before. . . " She went on to give details in which Cristina had no interest in knowing, but she knew Meredith was going to continue so she just listened and made her comments along the way. In the end, Cristina named him small fry.

Meredith had his number just in case she needed to get in touch with Alex while he was at the track. She would prefer to wait until the race was over and she could just talk to her brother.

She continued working as did Cristina; however, Cristina refused to work in Alex's room. Partly scared of what she might find but mainly because she shouldn't have to work for no one. She just didn't understand why Meredith felt like she had to unpack his things.

Meredith thought Alex would probably be done and gave him a call. When his phone rang, Barbie was visibly annoyed. Alex says, "How did you like that finish?" All he could hear on his end was lots of screaming and rambling that was typical of Meredith. He did understand she didn't see the finish because the cable went out.

He finally got her calmed down about that so he could tell her how the race ended. . .

"There were 4 laps left and I had been trailing Derek Shepherd the last 20 laps. I knew I had to make my move then or never. So, I had an opportunity to pass on the inside and the ass cut me off, well, I would have done the same, but not the point. Well, about that time Brad came over the radio and said Derek seems to be turning a little inside and there may be an opportunity to go on the outside of him in the next turn. Brad said it would be now or never. I went for it all and ended up passing that ass going 170 miles per hour to bring home the checkered flag. I told him he would be watching my tail lights."

"I knew my big brother would win! Let's celebrate here at the condo. Cristina bought alcohol and we have pizza from earlier, " Meredith said excitedly.

Alex quickly said, "I am not so sure if I can come right away," while Barbie just stares at him.

"Ok, so bring her. If we are going to live together, I am going to have to get used to you bringing home your women."

"How did you know?" Alex replied. He realized his sister knew about his women before tonight, but it is different now that they are going to be living together under one roof. They had not lived together since high school but she still knew him and vice versa.

"When are you going to realize we are in sync with each other. Now, get your ass home with the girl that is probably pissed at you right now for being on the phone and let's celebrate. Your room is sleepable now thanks to me."

"This is why I knew it was a good idea to move in with you," replied Alex looking at Barbie and smiling as he knew he would have to explain. But, she is just the girl for the night; there would be a new one next week. He just needed to smooth things over enough to have some amazing sex.

"There are many reasons why you needed to move in with me." Meredith said smiling. She really did love her brother and was excited to be living with him as well as starting medical school with him. All three of them will be going to medical school together. She is a little worried because Cristina and Alex have never really been around each other. They met twice, but from the first encounter that Christina had with him, she named him Evil Spawn. Despite this, they all agreed this would be a good arrangement. They were able to get an amazing condo although all three of them have plenty of money, comes with the territory of having doctors for parents. Ellis Grey was one of the most famous neurosurgeons.

"I am getting close to home, so Barbie and I will see you in a few minutes."

"You are really bringing a girl named Barbie home with you tonight. You do realize Cristina is here and will have a field day with this." She replied, knowing Cristina was going to really give him hell. She knew they both could hold their own though.

"I am hanging up now, love ya toots." He answered back quickly.

"Right back at ya, speedo." They have been ending their phone conversations this way for 4 years.

Alex had a few minutes to explain to Barbie he lives with his sister and her best friend. He didn't want to share too much as he didn't care to get personal, however, he did not fail to mention that his bedroom was downstairs and the girls were upstairs so they would have their privacy.

Meredith wanted to get a few more things done before they got to the condo. She wanted to have some food out ready to eat as she knows Alex will be hungry. She got so busy that she forgot to warn Cristina about Barbie coming over. Just as Alex and Barbie came through the door, Cristina came down the stairs. . .


	3. Perfect Love

"Damn it, Mark. I can't believe you didn't tell me that asshole was coming around me on the outside." Derek yelled at him as they were leaving the track.

"It wasn't my fault, you were the one who cut him off on the inside and started hugging the inside which allowed him to pass on the outside." Mark said very defensively.

"I just can't believe he beat me in the last 2 races. I am better than he is. You have to get your head out of your ass and pay attention if you are going to be my lead man on the radio." Derek knew Mark is the best man for the job. Hell, Mark has been there with him every step of the way. He is practically part of the family. His dad was a race car driver, but was killed in a car race when Mark was 13. His mom was too torn up about his father dying to be a mom to him. But, he wanted to learn the sport and be around it, but never wanted to drive. Derek went to many races with him before his dad died and had a thing for fast cars and racing. This was their plan from day 1—Derek would drive and Mark would be his main man. Derek wanted the speed and Mark wanted the women.

Mark decided to let the comment go because he knew Derek didn't really mean it. There were two things Mark was the expert at—racing and women. "Look, you are good at racing and you are better than him. We are both better than him, you are the beater racer and I am the better sex God."

"It never ends with you does it Mark. It is all about the women; there is more to life than that you know." Derek knew Mark was hopeless; he loved the women and was very good with them—well, for the night. Derek has had a few serious relationships, but wasn't interested in having meaningless sex. Mark really gave him hell for it but Mark was his brother or the closest thing to a brother and really, it was great having him around all of the time. Derek knew there would be a day that Mark would find a woman to rein him in.

"Are you still holding out for that perfect love before you can have sex again? Lame if you ask me. Just love 'em and leave 'em, that is my philosophy. Then no one has to worry about feelings getting hurt." Mark replied knowing Derek really believed in that one true love. He just wished his best friend would at least get out more and not take life so seriously sometimes. When he loses a race, he analyzes it for the next week to study what he did wrong. He doesn't even study the competition that much, but what he should do to make himself better. He would take it out on Mark tonight, but in the morning, he will start analyzing all of the mistakes he made. This was always the routine when Derek loses a race. Mark just thinks it is time for Derek to get laid; it had been way too long.

"I don't want to find the 'perfect love' right now, I am focused on racing and school, I just don't have the time. My life is great right now except losing the last 2 races to the asshole."

"Seriously, man, when is the last time you had sex? Maybe it would help you out of your slump." Mark knew the answer to the question—8 months. That was the last relationship he had. She was annoying as hell. Mark thought that Derek even realized that but loved the attention she gave him. Even Mark liked the attention because she cleaned their house every week and cooked many nights. He was glad when Derek finally told her he just couldn't be with her anymore. He passed it off as he had to focus on school, but Mark knew he just really didn't care for her anymore. Derek would never admit that.

"That is what you think this is Mark, a slump. I don't want to sleep around with just any woman and what I am in right now is definitely not a slump." Derek replied back quickly and loudly running his fingers through his hair.

Mark knew Derek was getting frustrated and did not want to have this conversation anymore. "Let's get home and have a few drinks." Mark suggested as he knew that is what Derek would do.

"That sounds good. We need to start preparing for the race next weekend because I am going to beat Alex Grey no matter what it takes." Derek said confidently.

"You know I am sacrificing myself tonight – I had an offer to go home with a beautiful brunette, but I decided to come with you tonight." Mark said smugly.

Derek laughing said, "I guess that would put you in the running for brother of the year. "

"Damn right it does. You would do it for me." Mark replied. It was true, Derek had been there for Mark many times.

"Let's have a few drinks tonight and start getting ready for next week's race tomorrow morning." Derek suggested.

"At the bar?" Mark asked hopeful.

"No, at home. You know I have to get up early to start preparing for next week's race." Derek responded shaking his head.


	4. Another Syph Outbreak

"Well, if it isn't Evil Spawn and the bimbo for the night. . ." replied Cristina as she came down the stairs.

"You are just jealous it is not you on this arm for the night. I would give you the ride of your life." Alex shot back with a smirk on his face. Before getting to the condo, he had warned Barbie about Cristina.

_"She is the biggest smart ass you will ever meet_._" Alex told Barbie. In his head though he thought about how cute her ass is. He quickly cleared his throat and continued on. "She is a biker chick and hard core. Despite the evil that tends to radiate off of her body, she is my sister's best friend and has been there for her no matter what. I am thankful that she was there for my races to watch with Mer." He wondered why he would say anything nice about Cristina. She really was quite the woman, if you could even call her that. _

_In her very high pitched voice, Barbie responded. "I am sure she is really nice and I can't wait to meet her. I can't wait to meet your sister also. I hope we get along." _

_"Oh, uh," Alex thought to himself. He just wanted to take her home for some good sex and send her packing. He suddenly realized he didn't really want to take her there. Cristina would be there along with his sister. Too late now, Mer would be expecting them and he wanted to see the look on Cristina's face when he brought Barbie in. He didn't really care to talk about anything else with Barbie because it was already too personal. He may have to rethink his whole "woman of the week" motto. _

"In your dreams, I wouldn't want to get the syph. . ." Cristina replied with a mischievous grin. Barbie stood there with her mouth wide open. Alex just looked at them all and shook his head.

Meredith decided she needed to quickly break the tension in the air. She did wonder how this was going to work with them living under the same roof. "Hello, Barbie, welcome to our home. We have drinks and some food if either of you are hungry."

Before Barbie could say anything, Cristina spoke up and said, "He should have to earn his keep before he starts eating the food I went and bought."

"Cristina." Meredith hissed in her direction.

"Oh come on, you have been here all day and night slaving for him. He just walks in here and thinks he is going to eat our food and drink our alcohol. It is bad enough him, but he had to bring some bimbo with him." Cristina says back just loud enough for Meredith to hear. She knows Meredith would do anything for her brother, but she wasn't going to let him walk all over her. She was going to make him share the same responsibilities.

"Come on Yang, whatever you have to say, we all need to hear it. We are one big happy family." Alex smugly replied. He did hope that Barbie didn't think she was part of the family though.

Barbie was really uncomfortable so she spoke up and said, "So, Meredith, what is there to drink?"

Meredith didn't know what to think of Barbie, but was relieved when she spoke. "We have tequila and some beer."

"Do you have any wine or light beer?" Barbie asked in that high pitched voice and it took everything Meredith had not to just start laughing at this girl.

"No, I am sorry. But we have soda."

"I will just have some water then."

Meredith went in the kitchen and the other 3 went to sit around in the living room. There were still boxes everywhere. There were still 2 of Alex's boxes in the room as Meredith didn't have a chance to put them away yet. Cristina thought they should just leave them all in the living room until he decided to contribute and put his things away. Meredith knew they may never get put away if she didn't do it and she didn't have time to do it later. She was getting a head start in medical school and decided to take her first lab this summer. Well, it was more her mom who set it up for her, but no one knew that.

"Wow, this place is amazing, did you guys just move in?" Barbie asked excitedly.

Before Alex could say anything, Cristina said, "Yes, and this ass didn't help move or unpack a single box."

Alex was tired of hearing her bitch, so he got up and opened up one of the boxes that was marked his. He just smirked when he opened it. He grabbed the first thing on top and opened up the small box and smugly said, "Here, I opened up a box and contributed. You can't say I didn't help."

Meredith walked in the room and was shocked at the site in front of her as was Barbie and Cristina.

"Make sure to use them, we don't need a little evil spawn running around and we sure don't want another syph outbreak." As Cristina smirked proudly holding the condom Alex threw on her.

Then it was Alex's turn to be wide-eyed along with Barbie. He could kill his sister this very moment for telling Cristina Yang about the syph outbreak when he was a senior in high school.

Meredith just had about enough of them. She suggested that her and Cristina go upstairs and leave Alex and his girl for the night along.

As Alex and Barbie got up to go to the bedroom, Cristina turned to Meredith and said, "your brother is a real ass, you know that, right?" Meredith just rolled her eyes. Cristina continued, "that ass might be a cute ass, but he is still a real ass."


	5. The Look of Love

**I have been writing on this story a while. . . haven't been writing it in chapter form. . . so, I am combining updates that I have written. . . Hope you enjoy!!!**

Meredith was walking around the condo in full freak out mode. Cristina decided not to go to the race but was going to meet them after the race at The Temple Bar, which was a few blocks from their condo. Cristina and Meredith checked it out earlier in the week; it seemed to be the one that most of the medical students went to also. 

She was glad that Alex got her priority parking as she hated parking far away. He had also gotten her a special pass so that she wouldn't have to wait in any line. She would stay down in the pit during the race. Although she got very nervous during the races, she loved the smell in the air during the race.

She wanted to look good tonight being that Alex promised he wouldn't bring one of his girls tonight. Meredith wanted to go with him but did not want to have to deal with one of Alex's girls. Meredith tried to be nice to them but they were only for show. Alex did tell her earlier in the week he thought he should try and calm down a little as far as the girls go. Meredith was really shocked at this confession. He then asked Meredith to go with him to the race tonight and be his "girl for the night." Meredith was honored he would want her to go with him as opposed to one of the bimbos (whoever she may be). Meredith was always nice to them, but she never knew what to talk about with them as they usually had absolutely nothing in common.

She finished getting ready, took one look in the mirror, and said, "Well, not like his typical girls, but I think I look ok."

Cristina was in the kitchen eating left over pizza. As Meredith walked down the stairs, Cristina said, "Wow, you even look like you are one of Evil Spawn's girls."

"Hello to you also, I see you are in a fine mood tonight. . . " Meredith responded as she rolled her eyes. She was sick and tired of Cristina and Alex's continued comments back and forth. One night as she was sleeping, she thought she heard Alex screaming Cristina's name. When she woke up the next morning she knew she must have been dreaming as Cristina had gone up to her bedroom when Meredith did. "I still don't understand why you decided to move in here if you detest my brother so much. You can afford your own place you know."

"Yeah, I know, but it is much more entertaining here." Cristina quickly replies, smirking.

Meredith just rolled her eyes. They both were to blame for the continued arguing or whatever you call it. "Well, do I really look ok because I am his side kick tonight and I wouldn't want to let him down?" Meredith said nervously as she really did want Cristina's approval regarding her choice of dress and hair-do.

"You look like you are ready to go stand on the street corner."

Meredith rolling her eyes, replied, "I am not sure why I keep you around." Meredith wonders all of the time why Cristina is her person, but she is and always will be.

"You love me. You better get out of here so you can get there and scowl out the competition." Cristina suggested. She was going to do some pre-reading for her classes that started next week. She was the only person who knew Meredith's mother had pulled some strings for Meredith to take the 1st lab class early. She wanted to also take the class, but wasn't allowed. The medical school said Meredith was allowed because she was number 1 in their graduating class. Both of them are very competitive and it was hard when Meredith barely beat her out to be #1 with Cristina being #2. Cristina didn't want to be behind Meredith starting out so she had been studying right along with Meredith and neither minded because Meredith enjoyed having someone to study with.

"I will not scowl out the competition. I am there to support Alex through and through." Meredith said grabbing her keys and taking one last look in the mirror.

"Well, looking like that, I think you will do more than scowl out the competition. I will see you at The Temple after the race."

"See ya then." Meredith replied nervously as she walked out the door. She wasn't sure why she was nervous.

If she only knew what the night might bring. . .

Derek and Mark were already at the track when Alex arrived. This was common as Alex usually let his pit crew do everything before he made an appearance but Derek always wanted to be with his crew every step of the way.

"Ok, you know exactly what you have to do to win this race, correct?" Mark said nervously. He usually doesn't get nervous before a race but Derek was bound and determined not to let Alex beat him tonight and Mark knew Derek was just as nervous about it. He had been especially edgy this past week. Mark tried to be a smart ass and crack jokes, but Derek wasn't playing. So, he just tried to focus on the race with Derek over the last week. Hell, he hadn't even brought a girl home which may have been a new record for him.

"Yes, Mark, we have been over this all day today. I understand. Just remember you have to be my best wing man ever on the radio ANY time you see that asshole moving in on me." Derek said anxiously as he wanted to get in his car and blow that asshole out of the water.

About that time Mark notices a brunette with honey blonde streaks coming up to Alex and giving him a hug and kiss on the check. "Wow, looks like Alex is going for a different look tonight. She is one I have definitely not seen before." Mark interestingly tells Derek.

"I don't care who in the hell. . . " Derek says as he is turning around. He couldn't finish his thought as his voice would have cracked. He stood there with his mouth wide open, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Mark.

"Hey man, she is just another one of his bimbos. Too bad I don't do sloppy seconds. I would do her in a minute." Mark said teasingly. He sensed Derek may not be too happy at this comment because he never saw Derek so awe struck–ever.

The only thing Derek could get out was, "Yeah," in a whisper.

"Wow, looks like I made a good choice tonight having you on my arm, although I would prefer if my sister didn't look so hot. This is a race track with tons of dirty men. . ." Alex really loved his sister and would have her anytime at the races. He was also very protective of his twin sister and didn't know if he liked seeing her looking like she did. He knows how the men can be at the track. He was one of them. In the past, he tried to pick up any beautiful woman he saw at the track or anywhere for that matter; however, he wasn't really looking for anyone tonight thinking it is time for him to settle down a little.

"Well, I am glad I live up to the expectations." Meredith said as she hugged her brother and gave him a quick kiss on the check. She was thankful she didn't have any trouble getting out to the track with him. She had a pass but Alex still made sure everyone knew she would be coming so she wouldn't be hassled; women tried to get down to the track all of the time. Alex always brought his women in with him, but Meredith wanted to come by herself.

She did worry tremendously about him on the track, but learned the sport right along side him while they were in high school. She really loved the cars and the speed although she would never admit it. She loved racing almost as much as her brother and knew almost as much as he did about the sport.

This was the first time for Meredith to see his new car. She took her time walking around the car admiring it, while sensually running her hands along it.

Alex was talking to Brad regarding some racing strategy and looked up to notice most of the men had stopped what they were doing to stare at his sister as she was bending over the back of the car talking to some of the crew. About this time, Alex looked around in the direction of Mark and Derek with fire in his eyes. Why did she have to wear those tight damn skinny jeans? Alex thought to himself. He had to do something, and do it fast. He didn't care for everyone down here to be undressing his sister with their eyes especially his fierce competitor. She rarely dressed up like this and he wished she didn't choose tonight to start.

"Hey Toots, what do you think of the new car?" Alex asked hoping she would at least stand up straight and not have her ass on display.

"I love it and can't wait to see it in action." Meredith said proudly as she walked over to where Alex was standing.

"Well, well, I see you have a new girl with you tonight." Mark says loudly and smugly to Alex as he walked over to the siblings.

"As always," Alex replied quickly, not giving Meredith a chance to speak as he just wanted to get through their pre-race banter. Usually he wanted to be a real smart ass and give it to them, but tonight he just wanted to prepare for the race as his blood was beginning to boil more and more.

"Haven't seen you around here before," Mark said with a huge smile on his face. Then he looked at Alex and said, "Glad to see you are not taking my left-overs this week."

"I am his. . . "Meredith started to yell quickly before she was cut off by Alex, "She is new in town and I am showing her around the track tonight." Alex definitely did not want Mark Sloan or Derek Shepherd to know she might be available. He was extremely protective of his sister; he hoped she would keep quiet about them being twins.

"That is not all you will be showing her I bet. . . " Mark replied with a smirk.

Derek walked up behind Mark just in time to hear Alex say she was new in town. He couldn't believe how breathtaking she was. Alex always had beautiful women, but they were nothing special – nothing but big boobs and blonde (most of the time anyway). She was. . . he couldn't even describe her. The way her jeans hugged her ass made his entire body stiffen.

"Who the hell. . . "Meredith started to yell but stopped dead sentence as her eyes locked with a deep pair of blue ones.

Mark and Alex stood speechless. Alex knew he had to do something immediately but all he could think about is how much he loathed Derek Shepherd on the track and he is now undressing his sister with his eyes. He didn't have time to worry about this now, he had to focus on the race because this made him more determined to beat him.

Alex put his arm around his sister's shoulders and said with a smirk, "don't you guys have a race to prepare for, as I remember, I have beaten you the last two races and I plan on making it 3 for 3 tonight." He hated not only the way Derek was looking at his sister but the way she was looking back at him. She stood beside Alex stiff and very tense.

She knew exactly who he was—the man who was her brother's main competitor and for some reason, Alex did not want to tell them they were twins. . . He was acting like she really was one of his "show girls." Meredith didn't really know why, but knew this wasn't the time to question him. As soon as she could find her voice she stepped forward and confidently said, "So, you are Derek Shepherd. . . Alex has told me all about you. Well, mainly how much better he is than you!"

Alex just smirked—this was the sister he knew. She was always confident and very sure of how good Alex was. She is a fierce competitor and he knew she would forever stand by his side. She wanted to win as bad as he did—they both knew this, but never said it. _Whew, _Alex thought. _Maybe she was just in shock that she was meeting Derek. I mean she really does love racing and keeps up with it. _Alex said thinking to himself. He really was worried because for a second, he saw a different look in her eyes-one he hadn't seen before. He just dismissed it though because he hadn't been around her day in and day out for a while.

"Wow, looks like she is feisty too. Too bad you got to her first, Alex. I could have showed you a good time, sweetheart. . . "Mark said looking and laughing at Meredith but quickly stopped when Derek shot him a glare that could cut through glass—a gesture that Alex intensely noticed.

"Fuck you, I have to finish preparing so I can kick you ass for a third time in a row." Alex said frustratingly.

Mark looked at Derek hoping he would say something, but he didn't. He couldn't just walk away, so he spoke up, "Never, we are just getting warmed up. We have a hell of a lot more racing to determine the overall winner. Derek will beat your ass every step of the way."

"Alex, we really need you over here to check on the steering." Brad yelled over at them. He could hear them at this point and knew Alex didn't need this shit before a race. He knew Alex was very protective of his sister. Because of that, he and Meredith agreed Alex would never know about their drunken night. . .

"See you in my rearview mirror." Alex replied before taking Meredith's hand and walking over to the car.

Derek just stood there. He could hardly move, how was he going to race this way? Not only race, but he was on a mission. He had to win this race tonight.

"Come on man, she is just one of Alex's bimbos. You know that, right?" Mark said with concern in his voice.

"Yeah, you may be right, but she is different." Derek said back hoping Mark would agree.

Mark saw the desperation in Derek's eyes and in this moment he needed to agree so they could get on with the preparations for the race. "Yeah, she seems different." Even if it wasn't true, he knew Derek needed to hear that. He knew him better than anyone else in the world, but Mark sensed something was different. . . .


	6. Rubbing is Racing

"Gentlemen, start your engines," said the announcer. Derek took one look over at Alex. _I have to beat him, tonight. . . especially tonight. . . no matter what it takes!!!_ About that time, he hears Mark over the radio, "I feel the need, the need for speed." 

Derek just laughed as he replied, "You always feel the need for speed."

"This is why I am your wing man and a damn good one at that."

"Well, we will determine that after this race."

"You. . . . Derek Shepherd . . . is actually going to allow me to be a proper wing man and help you pick up a good looking woman to take home at the bar." Mark said knowing this is not what Derek meant by wing man.

"Damn it, Mark, I am trying to be serious about this fucking race and all you are worried about is picking up woman." Derek said as right now there was only 1 woman on his mind. _Why does she have to be with that asshole tonight? I have to at least get her name. If I can beat this asshole. . . maybe. . . just maybe she will talk to me or at least get rid of him. That would really piss Alex off. Damn it, I need to focus on the race. . . _Derek just couldn't get the image of her bending over the car with those jeans hugging her ass. . . _I just wanted to go up behind . . . Shit. . . Stop Derek. . . Focus, you have to focus. . . you have to beat Alex. . . _

"You know what you need. . . "Mark started but quickly cut off by Derek, "Cut the shit, Mark." That was all that Derek needed to say for Mark to stop.

"Ok, sorry man, we have a race to win." Mark quickly said knowing both of them needed to focus tonight more than ever.

About that time, Brad walked over to Mark. Brad and Mark had gone for drinks a few times after races. Alex usually went with his bimbo and Derek only went out if he won.

"So, what do you think of Mer?" Brad asked as they both stared at the stunning woman who was talking with Alex's crew.

"She is fucking hot. I can't believe Alex brought someone like her here; she doesn't fit in at all; she also doesn't seem to be like his other girls. I would fuck her in a second." Mark replied smirking the entire time. She was hot and all of the men there wanted a piece of that tight ass, but Mark had a feeling that there was one person in particular who wanted it the most.

Brad laughed while intensely staring at Meredith, "Yeah, she is as good as she looks too."

"So, Alex got your left overs. . . way to go man. . .I love when that ass shows up here with a girl that I fucked a few weeks before." Mark said smiling. It made him happy to know tonight really was no different. She seemed different, but she was just like the rest.

"What the fuck are you talking about? She is his. . . "Before Brad could finish Alex radioed him, "That asshole is staring at me. Who the hell does he think he is? Staring at Mer like that. I think he was fucking undressing her with his eyes." Alex said over the radio.

"Drinks later?" Mark asked, nervously. He knew Derek was awe-struck over her.

"Absolutely, I think we will need it after this race." Brad said knowing this was going to be a long and hard-fought race.

"It's a beautiful night to win a race, so let's have some fun." Mark gave his last words to Derek as they have done every race.

And. . . they were off. . .

As the race started, Mark had a nagging feeling this girl. . . Mer as Brad called her . . . was not just another one of Alex's bimbo's. _But, who is she_, Mark wondered.

The race had been going smoothly and Meredith was really enjoying herself. Brad even let her on the radio some of the time being that Alex was leading the pack. He knew Alex didn't mind, Meredith probably knew as much as Brad did about racing. She got really nervous watching on TV, but being at the races in person was not as nerve racking. She really loved the atmosphere of the track.

She watched her brother and the way he flawlessly drove, but caught herself watching #156 who was behind her brother most of the night. _Why can't I get him out of my head? He looked so fucking hot with his racing suite on . . . oh my god . . . this is my brother's biggest competitor. . .BAD. . . VERY BAD. . . I don't even like the asshole. . . I don't even know him . . . with eyes like that, he can't be that bad. . . _

"Mer, earth to Mer," Brad yelled over at Meredith as Alex wanted to ask her opinion on something on the track—there was a small amount of drizzle that was starting to come down. Meredith was a research girl—she researched any and everything when it came to learning about something. When Alex became really interested in racing, Meredith searched the internet and did all the research she could on racing. She even did a research paper her senior year on different track conditions and what kind of tires is best.

"Do I need to come in to change out my tires? I am not sure right now because the drizzle is just starting and if it stops, I need these tires. I fucking hate these conditions."

"This is a real gamble, I am going to have someone check the weather forecast and take it from there." Meredith replied nervously. She did know about weather conditions, but drizzle was the trickiest.

A minute or so later Meredith radioed back, "This is a gamble, it may continue or it may stop. Why don't we give it a few more laps, you are almost due for a change anyway and we will determine then."

"You have to make a fucking decision before I get in." Alex angrily replied. He couldn't lose this race. _The way he was looking at her, my sister . . . who the fuck does he thinks he is. . . I am going to beat his ass if it is the last thing I do tonight. . . _

Meredith could sense the irritation in his voice but was unsure why. He didn't seem as focused tonight. Well, he seemed more focused on winning this race. She knew his brother was competitive—their entire family was, but he seemed strange tonight. _I hope he didn't notice me undressing Derek, layer by layer as my eyes were locked on him. . . I bet he is smokin' hot underneath his. . . OH FUCK. . . BAD. . . BAD. . .I need to become celibate. . . no sex. . . it gets me in trouble. . . knitting. . . maybe I should knit. . . they say it is good for surgeons. . . Brad was bad enough but Alex at least likes him . . . thank god he never found out about that . . . there is more to Derek though. . . SHIT. . . STOP. . . that black skin tight undershirt he had on. . . FUCK. . . _

"What is up with you tonight, Mer? I know it has been a long time since you have been here, but you just seem to not be with it." Brad curiously said.

"Uh, what?" Meredith asked.

"Aren't you listening to a word anyone is saying? Are you ok?" Brad asked.

_If you only knew. . ._ Meredith thought. "Yeah, I am fine?" Meredith replied unsure of this statement.

On the trip in to change the tires out, Brad made the final decision to change them out. The drizzle was steady at this point. This was the last pit stop he could afford as the last part of the race was fast approaching.

Meredith was getting excited as her brother was doing it; he was in the lead with 3 laps to go. There is always a big sprint to the finish and tonight would do no different. This race was very intense between Derek and Alex; it seemed the whole arena could sense it. Alex had taken the lead 10 laps ago; Derek had gotten ahead right after the pit stop.

"Damn it," Alex yelled over the radio. Meredith and Brad wasn't sure how to reply so Brad said, "What is it?"

"I can feel my damn tires slipping. I can't believe the fucking drizzle stopped." Alex said frustratingly as he knew the minute the drizzle stopped he was in trouble. Brad knew that Derek's crew didn't change to a tire that was better suited for drizzle—they went with the same tire for dry conditions in hopes the drizzle would stop. He made sure Alex was aware of this the minute the drizzle stopped. He had managed to somehow pass Derek and keep his position because he has excellent driving skills, but was nervous about these last few laps.

Meredith watched on more anxious than she ever had been. As the 2nd to last lap started it seemed Derek was making a move, trying to go on the inside of Alex. _Come on Alex, cut him off – YEAH!!! That is the way we Grey's do it. . . _She thought to herself—not knowing if she was really happy or a little disappointed.

Derek didn't seem to be giving up. He looked more determined than ever. She watched every one of his races; Alex always wanted her to analyze them even though she was miles away at school. She loved to do it so she knew his racing as well as anyone out here.

She took the radio from Brad and loudly said, "He is going to try to go around you on the outside again, that is his pattern." Meredith said proudly as she had studied his racing many times. As soon as she said that Brad yanked the radio out of her hands and rapidly said, "He is coming on the fucking inside."

Derek cut on the inside quickly, went out beside him and bumped Alex's car to take the lead in the last 500 yards to win the race.

"HOLY FUCK" replied Meredith, Alex, and Brad all at one time as Alex's car spun out thankfully not hitting anything or anyone.

"THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Meredith yelled as loud as she could.


	7. A Queen She Would Be

Derek only went out for one thing—to celebrate a win at the track. 

"Derek, this is tradition, we always go out when you win a race and this was one hell of a win. I didn't think you had it in you, the way you took him. Damn, that was sweet. To see the look on Mer's face was. . . "

"Mer. . . " Derek stopped what Mark was saying. He knew exactly who Mer was the minute Mark said his name. That was her. . .

"Oh, yeah, Brad fucked her—said she is as good as she looks. So it seems like she is one of Alex's bim. . . "

"Shut the fuck up! We don't know anything about her." Derek furiously replied.

"Derek, I am saying this because you are my best friend, she is never going to go out with you."

Derek looked up with fire in his eyes but didn't say a word. He really didn't know what to say. He had to meet her, somehow, someway. He fucked up big time though. _Why did I have to do it? She probably hates me now. Instead of being the great driver who won the race, I am the asshole who bumped him and beat him. I really didn't mean to, but she doesn't know that. She wouldn't even glance in my direction when I got out of my car. She immediately walked over to Alex and the car out of concern. DAMN IT. . . she did look at me once and if looks could have killed, I would be dead. I really fucked up. . . _

"How about we do go out and celebrate. Hide the pain." Derek said, sadly. Mark knew Mer looked hot, but Derek really couldn't get her out of his mind. He has never seen his buddy like this—EVER. This was un-chartered territory for Mark; he didn't really know what to say—a very rare occurrence for Mark.

"Ok, let's go." Mark said unaware of what the night would bring for his brother.

Just about the time Meredith and Alex were walking to her car, she heard her phone buzz with a new text message. . .

From: Person

What the hell happened to Evil Spawn tonight?

To: Person

That asshole Derek Shepherd bumped him.

From: Person

It looked like Alex's tires were not right.

Meredith knew this was going to be a problem when the drizzle stopped and the track started clearing.

To: Person

How would you know this, you don't even like racing.

From: Person

I have taken an interest in it.

To: Person

Since when?

From: Person

Since you have made me watch every damn race for the last four years and the guys are hot.

To: Person

Are you meeting us? We are leaving the track now.

From: Person

Yeah, see ya there.

"Who were you texting?" Alex asked curiously.

"Cristina, she is meeting us at The Temple in a few minutes."

"I hope it isn't too busy tonight, I just want a low key night drinking some beer, maybe throw some darts and imagine Derek Shepherd's head as the bullseye." He normally wouldn't want to put up with Cristina's smart ass attitude, but this was exactly what he needed.

Meanwhile at the bar, Derek and Mark had one round of drinks and had started their second.

"See that girl over there, HOT. She seems to have a friend with her. I think we should order them both a drink." Mark said with his stupid grin that really could pick up just about any girl in the bar.

Derek thought about this . . . _what the hell, _he thought, _it wouldn't hurt me to at least talk to a woman_.

"Ok, let's order drinks, have them delivered then go over and talk to them." Derek said nervously. _That sounded so lame, _he thought to himself. He wasn't one to pick up a girl in the bar, but maybe tonight would be different.

The drinks were ordered and were being delivered. As Derek got up to follow Mark over to the girls, he turned around and froze dead in his tracks . . . there she was . . . looking astounding.

Meredith stopped dead in her tracks when she locked eyes with the man she loathed at this moment. Alex walked in with Cristina and neither had noticed that Meredith had stopped walking.

Meredith was unable to move her legs. Her whole world stopped. _Stop looking at me like that_. _I need to hate you for MANY reasons, but damn you look so hot. . . _

". . . Hello, earth to my person. . . Is there anyone up there???" Cristina yelled a few steps ahead of her now.

Meredith couldn't say anything. Cristina realized she was staring at something. Just as Cristina turned around to see what had Meredith so captivated, Alex asked Cristina if she would like something to drink.

"Uh . . . yeah. . . "Cristina replied as she realized Meredith was eye fucking someone in the middle of The Temple . . . he looked familiar. Cristina didn't know where she knew him from. _Holy Shit_. . . she thought to herself as it dawned on her this was Derek Shepherd, Alex's contender on the track.

At the same moment, Alex noticed Cristina stuttering and looked around to find Meredith. _I am going to kill that fucking asshole! _Alex looked back and forth at his sister and Derek. He couldn't believe this; normally he wouldn't care so much, but not him. He knew she fucked Brad, some of the crew let it slip one night when they were drunk. He really didn't care – his sister was a lot like him. She tried to act like she wasn't, but they were twins. . . He loved sex and was sure his sister loved it just as much. The night the crew let it slip, they told more than he wanted to hear about his twin sister. BUT _NOT Derek Shepherd. NO WAY. . . I will fucking kill him. . . _

"What in the hell are you doing here?" He tried to calm down to not cause a scene, but he knew this was going to get ugly.

"This is a public place," Mark quickly replied as Derek just stood there. Mark noticed Meredith the minute Derek did and figured Alex wasn't too far behind. What he didn't expect was the eye fucking in the middle of bar.

Alex didn't know what to say, but his blood was boiling. This was twice in one night he had to see this asshole undress his sister with his eyes. He was even more pissed that she seemed to be doing the same exact thing. _THIS CAN'T HAPPEN!!!_ He thought to himself.

He walked straight up to Derek and got right in his face and quietly said, "What the fuck are you doing?" Alex said as calm as he could even though he was ready to explode.

Derek was able to peel his eyes away from Meredith to say, "What in the hell are you talking about?" Derek said also in a hushed tone, trying not to make a scene. There were already enough people staring.

"People, people, what's with all of the hostility." Cristina said cheerfully. Meredith looked at her like she was nuts then intensely looked back at the emergent situation.

"You know good and damn well what I am talking about. Leave her alone. She is very near and dear to my heart." Alex scathingly said.

Derek realized at this point, she was not just another one of his many women. He also knew he had to find out exactly what she was to Alex. He knew she was undressing him as much as he was her. It wasn't only about how incredibly amazing she looked, but there just seemed to be something about her. She had an incredible smile and warmth about her. He never had this feeling before and nothing was going to stop him, not even Alex Grey.

"You mean she isn't just your fucking partner for the night?" Mark said as he wanted to know who she was realizing how important it was for his desperate friend. Brad almost had said, but was cute by the damn radio.

Alex had enough and yelled out, "SHE IS MY FUCKING SISTER WHICH TRANSLATES TO OFF LIMITS TO YOU!"

Everyone in the bar stopped and stood in shock. . .

_Did I just hear him right? Sister. . . Not one of his bimbos. . . I knew something was different. . . HOLY SHIT. . ._ Derek couldn't even breathe at this moment as he looked over in Meredith's direction for confirmation. 

"Wow, Brad fucked your sister. . . "Mark said with a grin on his lips without even thinking about what he was saying. Right when it came out of his mouth he knew he was in trouble . . . with a few people. . .

Now, everyone turned to look at Mark including Meredith. This was something she did not want her brother to know EVER, but to find out now, not good. . .

"How the fuck did you know that?" Alex replied scathingly, shocked Mark knew about this.

About this time, Meredith walked slowly up to Alex biting her lower lip, "Alex. . . "

Looking at her tenderly, he said quietly, "I already knew, the crew let it slip a few weeks after it happened. Don't worry, we are more alike than you think."

Meredith looked at him in shock. She thought he would become unglued if he knew, but he didn't. _Why??? Why is he so pissed about Derek, but acting like it is no big deal I had sex with his main crew man. . . Why was he even being like this with Derek, it isn't like I could really go out with him. . . I mean, he is sooooo fucking hot. . . looking at me like that. . . I wish he would stop. . . I could take him right here right now. . . NO YOU CAN'T. . . quite thinking like this. . . it is obvious Alex just can't deal with it. . .hell, I can't deal with it. . . he is Alex's biggest competitor. . . I have to talk to him though. . .NO, I CAN'T. . . Stop rambling in your head. . ._

As Alex moved over to talk with Meredith for a second, Mark walked over to Derek. Mark knew what his friend was thinking without even asking. He knew Derek would want the challenge. . . It would probably make him want her that much more. By the look in his eyes, Mark knew this was true. He had glanced at Meredith a few times. She was definitely having as much eye sex with Derek as he was with her.

"So, what is McDreamy going to do now?" asked a small but feisty Asian woman.

"Who the fuck are you and who the hell is McDreamy?" Mark asked knowing she had come in with Meredith and Alex.

"I am her person . . . that is who the fuck I am. . .McDreamy is this mesmerized fool who keeps looking at my person. . . Who the fuck are you? Cristina asked knowing this obnoxious man was with Derek.

"I am the man that could give you the ride of your life." Mark replied giving her his smug grin.

"In your dreams, "Cristina says to Mark while turning her head to look at Derek.

"I am usually not very nice and I will deny it if you tell anyone this, but I want to give you a piece of advice . . . treat her like a queen or he is not the only one you will answer to. . . he only wants the very best for his twin sister." Cristina replied before turning and walking over to Meredith and Alex. . .

A queen she would be. . .


	8. Don't Need A Man

The next morning, Meredith woke up finding herself sprawled out in Cristina's bed by herself who for a second she thought was strange as she knew Cristina and her passed out on the bed the minute they walked in the door. 

_Last night. . . DAMN IT. . . My fucking head is killing me. . . Aspirin. . . I know she keeps it in here. . ._ Meredith thinks as she is fumbling through her bedside table and finds the aspirin.

_Shit. . . Derek Shepherd knows Alex is my twin . . . this is bad, VERY BAD . . . he is also an ass. . . a real ass who bumped Alex. . . but, damn the racing suit shapes that ass perfectly. . . I can't even think about those jeans he was wearing and the way they formed around his ass. . . STOP . . . bad . . . you heard Alex . . . no way. . . I really wanted to talk to him but he and the guy he was with left right after all of the commotion. . . wait. . . do I remember Cristina talking to them. . . SHIT . . . this is even worse than I thought . . . she probably told him to keep his hands to himself or she would cut them off personally. . . I am rambling . . . stop . . . your head is hurting enough. . ._

About that time Cristina came in the room looking much disheveled. "You look like you had a worst night than I did. . . " Meredith says to Cristina.

Cristina quickly shot her eyes upward having no idea Meredith would already be awake and said, "Yeah, I was in the bathroom . . . not feeling so well. Why did you have to make us keep doing tequila shots? I don't have to drown in your self-pity of love. . . " Cristina replied hoping Meredith bought that she was really in the bathroom. Cristina didn't know how long Meredith had been awake, but she was hoping not very long at all.

Meredith wanted to ask Cristina what she talked to Derek about. She was jealous that her person got to talk to him, but not her. _I bet he has an incredible voice. . .and mouth. . . SHIT. . . STOP. . . I can't think about that mouth and what it may do to me. . .but it is the same mouth that has said some really terrible things to my brother . . . from what Alex has said in the past, he is a real asshole. . . ASS. . . _

"So, I noticed you talked to Derek and his friend last night?" Meredith said nervously. She didn't know if she wanted to know, but she had to know. . .

"Oh yeah, his friend is a real asshole. He had the nerve to think I would want to fuck him." Cristina knew this wasn't what Meredith wanted, but she couldn't let her person know really what she said. She wasn't soft or nice—ever. She wouldn't have been last night, but she saw something different—VERY DIFFERENT in her person's eyes. She had been there when Meredith picked up many of her men, but the glow in her eyes was something she knew meant the end for Meredith. She had seen all of Meredith's looks towards men and this one is definitely a one and only look. Cristina even saw a look in Derek's eyes that were uncharacteristic of men—most just wanted a good fuck and their eyes looked accordingly—not Derek's though . . . there was something more. Before when she threatened the men, she knew Meredith was just being Meredith. Cristina had a strange feeling this one might be different and despite what a bitch she is . . . she wants her person to be happy, truly happy. She really deserves this after. . . Cristina didn't even want to think about that. . .

Meredith sat up in bed disappointed this is how Cristina responded, but she didn't want to push any harder. She couldn't wait until the race Saturday night. She just may have to attend practice sometime this week. _Alex is my brother and I will be there to support him. Derek Shepherd is his competitor and plays dirty and I can't have anything to do with him. . . Alex won't allow it and he is my family . . . my closest family who I would do anything for as he has proven he would do anything for me that I needed . . . so, I have to do this for him. . . DAMN . . . it will be very hard . . . but I can do this. . . I am a Grey. . . I haven't even had a man since. . . So, I don't need this one. . . I have never needed one and this won't be any different._


	9. The Voice on the Other End

A few days later, Derek just couldn't get Mer off his mind. She was just amazing. He also felt very badly for cutting Alex off the way he did. Mark radioed and told him his tires were terrible and he was slipping which would make it easier to for Derek to take him. He didn't do this; he didn't play dirty. He wanted to win because he was the best driver, not because he bumped the competitor. 

About this time, Derek looked up to find Mark standing there, "Man, you must be deep in thought; you didn't even look up when I came in the door."

"Yeah," Derek replied barely loud enough for Mark to hear. Mark was tired of seeing his buddy like this—not depressed, but just . . . it was hard to explain. He wanted to talk to Derek about what was bothering him, but just wasn't sure how to start. He knew it was because of Mer, which they assumed was short for Mary or Meredith, but not sure which. Saturday night had been a huge night for Derek—before and after the race. During the race, Derek did something that was uncharacteristic of him by bumping Alex. Mark didn't think it was a big deal and in fact, encouraged more bumping, but Derek wasn't the kind of man. . . However, the most important event of the night came at the end when the smart ass Asian chick came up to them—Mer was Alex's sister, but not just his sister, but his twin sister. Then she had to say something about treating her like a queen. . . Like that is going to help. She is Alex's twin; he would kill Derek if he even looked at her wrong.

Mark didn't dare mention her name since Saturday night; Derek was still pissed for Mark's comment about Brad. But, Mark couldn't sit around and let his brother wallow in self pity.

"Let's at least analyze the race from Saturday night. There some things we need to consider for next week." Mark said definitively.

"I don't feel like it." Derek replied grumbling.

"Are you ever going to feel like it?" Mark said as he was getting tired of Derek sitting around.

"Shut the fuck up, Mark." Derek furiously replied.

Mark had enough of this. . . "Ok, man, enough is enough. What the fuck is your problem? I know you can't get her out of your mind . . . grow some balls and do something about it. . . I don't think she is your problem. Hell, I think she would have fucked you on one of the bar tables by the way she was looking at you. You have to figure something out, because you can't go on like this."

Derek looked up at him in complete and utter shock. "You don't know shit about this . . . you just fuck girls and that is it. Mer—there is something about her, more than just getting a good fuck out of her. I think I may. . . " Derek stopped before saying another word and slowly looked up at his best friend, "what in the hell do I do?"

This is what Mark wanted. He knew his friend needed some help but knew Derek would have to ask—he was generally too prideful to ask for help or advice on what to do. But, Derek wanted some advice what he should do. . .

"Well, for one, I think you need to know something. I have watched the end of the race from the other night at least a hundred times. Yes, you bumped Alex, but really his tires gave and kind of slid into you."

Before Mark could say anything else, Derek asked, "How in the hell does that help me?"

"I think you need to call and talk to Alex about it, apologize."

"Are you fucking nuts?" Derek yells out in response to Mark's crazy suggestion. "How is this supposed to help me with her?"

Derek really was clueless. He had 4 sisters and was only close to one of them and even then, he wasn't very close. They didn't know anything about racing other than there were men in a car who raced very fast around a track.

"Derek, I watched Mer down in the pit Saturday night. She knows as much as any one of us out there which means she is a supportive sister—she learned that along her brother. She was even on the radio part of the night giving directions."

Derek couldn't believe this. None of the girls he had ever gone out cared much about it, they wanted the hot driver, but nothing more to do with the sport. But, Mer knew about it.

"So, she likes racing. . . I still don't see. . ." Mark cut Derek off.

"Look, I am going to put it to you like this. . . They are twins, they share a bond. You have to win over Alex to even have a chance with her." Mark laughed while continuing, "Well, you may not win over Alex, but at least appear like you are trying to be civil to him . . . the better guy for trying to talk to him, if for nothing else, then do it for Mer. . . do it to at least get her to talk to you."

"How do I do that?" Derek asked curiously. _Maybe Mark is right about this. I mean, he is a dumb ass most of the time, but I haven't been able to come up with anything better, but what should I do?_

"Should I call him to apologize?" Derek asked after thinking for a few seconds. _Stupid idea, Derek, why would I want to call that asshole. . . Could this work?? At the least, she would see me as sensitive and truly sorry for playing dirty. I need to watch the end of the race. . . I just couldn't though. . . But, if Mark is correct, this changes things. . . _

"I think you could start there and see where it gets you." Mark replied not fully sure what Derek should do, but he had to do something. At least Mer would maybe see that Derek did appear to feel bad about bumping her twin. Mark didn't feel bad in the least, in fact, he always told Derek he needed to be more aggressive. . . Derek just didn't want to be that kind of driver. He knew that Derek did feel bad about it though.

"Ok, I don't even have his number. . ." Derek said sadly.

"That won't be a problem . . . give me a few minutes. . . "

Mark came back a few minutes later and gave the number to Derek.

"I have to go up to the school to settle some payments. I can't believe classes start next week. Our second year of medical school. . . I am excited about getting into the hospital more." Mark said as he walked out the door. He was ready to be done with the classroom part and get into the hospital. He was riding a career in plastics all of the way.

Derek sat with the phone in his hand trying to decide if he should call. He slowly dialed the number and waited until he heard a voice on the other end. . .

"Hello" The voice on the other end says.

Derek couldn't say anything; his voice was caught in his throat.

"Hello, is anyone there?" The voice says.

"Um, hello" The only thing Derek could manage to get off.

Meredith was getting annoyed at whoever was on the phone, "who is this?" In a pissed off voice. . .

"Well . . . um . . . this is Derek. . . Derek Shepherd" he managed to choke out. He had no idea what to say to her.

"I am hanging up now. . ." Meredith quickly replied back.

"Wait, I want to. . . " Derek said hurriedly, but decided to slow down when he didn't hear the phone click, "I actually was calling to talk to Alex about the race."

"I doubt he wants to talk to you after what you did." Meredith said positively.

Derek thought for a second and figured he might as well tell Meredith what he wants.

"Look, I really was just calling to tell him I am really sorry about the other night. I didn't mean to bump him at all and I am truly sorry for it." Derek said with sincerity in his voice. He really was sorry even if they didn't believe him.

"Well. . . I. . . " This is a shock for Meredith and she has no idea what to even say—she even sensed the sincerity in his voice. Racers didn't do this . . . they didn't apologize for this kind of stuff. They were usually too prideful for this. She knew her brother would NEVER call another driver to apologize.

"Mer?" Derek asked with the line going silent for a few seconds.

"What . . . wait, did you just call me Mer? Only my close friends and family are allowed to call me that . . . and you . . . definitely not that . . . no way . . . even if you are. . . " She stopped herself. _What the hell am I thinking . . . did I almost just tell him that. . . SHIT . . . he is really dreamy though and hot as hell. . . SHUT UP . . . and don't ramble . . . boys don't like that. . ._

"I . . . am . . . sorry. . . I didn't realize but that is all I have heard you referred to as. . . Can I ask you what you would like me to call you?" Derek asked hopeful.

"You will call me nothing . . . there is no reason to call me by any name. . . Nothing . . . not a thing. . . " Meredith said still rambling trying to convince herself he would never need to know her name.

Derek really didn't know what to say next. She was being really difficult and it made him want her that much more. He decided to go back to his reason for calling, "So, is Alex home?"

"No, he isn't. I can tell him you called."

"That would be great . . . Maybe I should leave my number and he can call me back."

"I doubt he cares to even talk to you, but I can at least give it to him." Meredith thought to herself as she knew Alex wouldn't want to talk to him.

"Well, I guess I should get going. I have some things I need to take care of."

"Yeah . . . me too . . . I have a busy few weeks coming up . . . " Meredith said back as she couldn't let him off of the phone. . . [I_Damn, he even has a dreamy voice. I just need to hang up and play like the phone died or something. . ._

"Well, I also have a busy few weeks coming up. Maybe we have more in common than you think." Derek replied smiling.

"What could we possibly have in common?" Meredith said this knowing they had a love of racing in common.

Derek couldn't believe she is actually having a normal conversation with him. He didn't want to say what he was really thinking, so he decided on, "Racing for one."

"Yes, we do, but we definitely don't cheer for the same person." She giggled on the phone.

_Oh my god, she is killing me. I want to know that giggle. . . hear that giggle. . . kiss the place the giggle comes from . . . Calm down Derek, you can't let this go wrong . . . you have to play this just perfect. . . not too much in this phone call. . . you called to apologize . . . to her brother. . . her twin brother. . . who hates you. . . Ok, stop rambling in your head. . ._ "No, I guess we don't, " replied a happy but frustrated Derek. He was frustrated with this whole situation. He knew he wanted to get to know her—take her out to dinner—talk to her—and do all of the things that came after all of that.

After a few seconds of silence, Meredith responded with, "I will let Alex know you called. I will tell him why you called. I don't think Alex will call you back, but don't take it personally. He is a real competitor as I am sure you are. That is why I am really surprised you called. It is something that happens in races. It speaks to your character. . . " Meredith said shockingly as she is finding herself enjoying talking to him. She also just complemented him. . .

"Well, there could be many things you find surprising about me. . . " saying flirtingly, but he minute the words came out of Derek's mouth he took a sharp breath in feeling hopeful. . .

"You think so?" Meredith replied in a flirty tone.

Derek let out a sigh of relief that she didn't hang up on him, but was even more surprised she seemed to be flirting with him.

"Yes, I definitely think so, but maybe we shouldn't tell your brother. . . " _Shit_. Derek knew he just messed up. . . _Why did I have to mention him. . . BAD. . . VERY BAD. . . I just fucked up big time_.

"Derek Shepherd, I will give my brother the message." Meredith said as she hung up the phone.

Derek just sat in complete shock. He didn't know how long he had been sitting there, but at some point Mark came in.

"What in the hell happened to you?" Mark asked,

"Mer, or better known as no name. . . "

Mark had no idea what Derek was talking about, "Man, I don't know what the hell happened but you look like shit . . . Did you call?"

"Yeah, I called alright and heard the most amazing voice in the world . . . the most amazing giggle . . . and talked to the most amazing person in the world."

"Wow, are you trying to tell me something Derek. . . I mean, Alex . . . is he really your type. . . " Mark tried to hold back his laugh as he was sure Derek was not talking about Alex.

"Why do I put up with your dumb ass?"

Mark just busted out laughing and said, "So, the call didn't go so well."

"It was going great, I even had her giggling, but then I had to go and fuck it all up . . . "

"Well, I am glad to know my best friend was not talking about another man being amazing. . . "

"Fine, I am just going to go seeing as you are being a real. . . " Derek said with anger in his eyes.

"Ok, Shep, calm down and talk." Mark said quickly realizing Derek really needed more than his sarcasm right now.

"I called . . . she answered the phone and she sounded just amazing. . . " Telling Mark all the details about the phone call up leaving out the last stupid thing he said.

"Wow, man, it sounds like she may be coming around. . . Definitely flirting. . . So, you said you fucked it up . . . sounds like you did great to me. "Mark said confidently. Then dropping his head again as he said, "But, you said something really stupid."

"Yes, I had to bring up her not telling her brother. . . "he trailed off.

"God, for a future brain surgeon, you sure can be stupid."

"Yeah, I am well aware of that." Derek said grumbling.

"Well, what did she do then?" 

"Told me she would give Alex the message and hung up. Oh and she called me by my first and last name."

Mark thought for a minute and said, "Is she worth it, is she worth this?" Mark was sure he knew the answer to this question, but he had to ask.

Derek looked up at Mark with desperation, "Mark, I know you can't understand this seeing as how you are a manwhore. . . but, there is just something about her. . . " Derek paused before continuing " . . . Up to this point, I haven't met a woman that made me unable to think. . . to breath. . . that is what Meredith does. There is something about her and I don't care who her twin brother is or anything else for that matter. . . I have to get to know her. . . She doesn't even want me to know her name . . . her real name . . . I don't even know what to do . . . "

"You have it bad, man. This is exactly why I stick to my philosophy."

"I can't have it bad . . . it can never happen . . . she has made that very clear . . . I just don't know if I can . . . "

"Let's go out then . . . I bet some scotch can help . . . ease the pain . . ."

"Might as well . . . help ease the pain . . . "


	10. No Distractions

**I know this is short, but it is the way it works with the stories. . . natural breaks. . . I hope it is ok. Hope you continue to enjoy. . .**

The next day. . .

"Hey, what do you want to eat?" Alex called to Meredith who was in the laundry room.

"I don't care—any suggestions?"

"How about a grilled cheese . . . " Alex suggested being that was about all any of them could make.

Meredith came in the kitchen, "we are pathetic . . . we don't know how to cook . . . "

"Well, we could go grab a bite to eat since Cristina went to the library."

Meredith raised an eyebrow at her brother, "Since when do you call her by her first name?"

"Uh . . . well, we do live together . . . we should try and get along . . . " Alex said kind of stuttering.

"Ok, let's go to the café down the street. They have really good soups and salads." Meredith suggested.

"Sounds great to me. . . "

They get to the café and are seated out on the veranda.

"So, there is something I need to tell you. . . " Meredith said nervously. She didn't want to tell her brother Derek had called yesterday, but she knew it would come up and she thought now was as good a time as any. They were at a public place so he couldn't lose his cool, could he?

"Ok, so shoot." Alex said nonchalantly.

"DerekShepherdCalledToTalkToYouYesterday." Meredith said quickly.

"What did you say?" Alex said, thinking for a second, "Did you just say what I think you just said—that asshole called me yesterday."

"Yes, but, let me explain. Please calm down and let me talk." Meredith said hurriedly. She is hoping she can talk to him rationally about Derek. She needs him to listen. . . She needs him to . . .

"So, he was calling to talk to me. What did the as. . . What did Derek want?" Alex said trying to listen to what Meredith had to say.

"He was calling to say . . . to say he was sorry . . . "

"He has nothing to be sorry for, he is a sorry piece of shit that bumped into my car. Because of that, I have to pay way too much money to get the paint re-done."

"Alex, just listen. Please." Meredith knew this was hopeless. It is now she realized they could just never be. She had to just get him out of her mind.

"Meredith, do you want me to listen to what he had to tell me? Or, is it more than that. . . "

"I just wanted to give you the message that Derek left." Meredith replied back in a hushed tone.

"Ok, so what did he want?"

Meredith took a deep breath. "He called to apologize . . . for the race the other night . . . "

"Wow, I guess he has no balls . . . what else did he want."

"That was about it." Meredith said biting her lip something she does when she is nervously.

"What in the hell did you guys talk about." Alex said with a little more urgency in his voice as he noticed Meredith's uneasiness.

"Nothing at all . . . not a thing . . . I just wanted to make sure you got the message. He did seem truly sorry though . . . "

"I am sure he did once he realized . . . " Alex wanted to finish, but saw the pleading eyes of his twin and couldn't say anymore. By seeing the way Meredith was reacting, Alex knew that SOB only called to try and make himself look better in the eyes of his sister. But, he knew she didn't need to hear it now.

"Look, I told him I would give you the message, so that is the message . . . "

"Thanks . . . I hope he doesn't expect a call back."

Meredith let out a small giggle, "I told him not to be waiting by the phone for one."

"Good . . . I may have to say something at practice tomorrow. You know, be a real smart ass."

"You wouldn't be you if you didn't . . ."Meredith said laughing.

Towards the end of the meal Alex asked, "So, I could really use your help tomorrow at practice. We are having some trouble with one of the turns at the track and could use a new pair of eyes. Do you know anyone good?"

"Well, I may just know of someone who is great . . . "

"Does this person have any plans?"

"I think she can make time to come to the track."

"It is a she, is she hot?"

"You are hopeless . . . "

"I may be . . . but you love me . . . "

"That I do baby brother." Meredith said.

"Hey, I am only 4 minutes younger. "

"Doesn't matter . . . I am still the older."

"And you will never let me forget." Alex said laughing.

"I would be glad to come to the track tomorrow to help out."

"There should only be a few other people there."

"Good, we don't need any distractions." Meredith said, not sure if she really believed that. . .


	11. I am Meredith Grey

Meredith got to the track a little late. Cristina kept her longer than expected at the bookstore on campus. She wanted to make sure they had all of their books for Monday morning—their first day of classes as medical students. Well, official first day for Cristina. Meredith had finished her first lab class during the summer.

"It is sure good to see that you could join us today at a decent hour." Brad said to Meredith. They had slept together once, but that was all it was—a night of drunken bliss . . . if only other nights of drunken bliss turned out like that . . .

"Yeah, well . . . " As Meredith started, Alex walked up and gave his sister a hug.

"Is he giving you a hard time? " Alex asked. When he found out about their night, he was upset, but the guys made him promise he wouldn't do anything stupid. He knew Brad was one of the best in the field and didn't want to ruin that relationship. So, as hard as it was, he just let it go. He realized his sister and he were more alike than he thought. He just wished he could have protected her all of the time . . .

"Nothing I can't handle." Meredith laughed as she looked at Brad.

"Come on Toots, you have some work to do."

"Ok, Speedo, let's get started."

Meredith started in the observation tower so she could get a view of the entire track. She then liked to move down closer to that particular place he was having the trouble.

She observed for almost an hour before she heard someone come up behind her . . .

"Well, what brings a beautiful girl like you to the track?"

"Wouldn't you like to know . . ." replied Meredith.

"In fact, I would like to know."

Meredith could feel the warmth of the breath on her neck as he had walked directly behind her.

"I am . . . here to help . . . " She couldn't think, breath, or do anything with him breathing down her neck like that.

"Well, what are you helping with?"

"Not any of your business." Meredith snapped back into reality as she turned around to face Derek with those piercing blue eyes.

"Well, you look amazing helping . . . or doing whatever it is you are doing here today."

"It doesn't matter what I am doing here and I do not look amazing or whatever."

"Ok, you don't."

"But, you just said . . ."

"So, you know my name, but I still have not learned what to call you. One thing is for sure, I am quite clear what not to call you!"

Meredith blushed as she remembers her rambling session about what she should be called. "If I tell you, will you leave me alone?"

"No."

"Well, you don't get to know then."

"Do you want me to leave you alone?"

Meredith wasn't really sure how to respond. "I need for you to leave me alone." She said clearly. A need and a want are two different things and right now, she just couldn't have what she wanted.

"Oh, so, you do want me."

"Derek . . . you are a complete ass. I can't believe you would imply something like that." Meredith yelled as she inched towards him and he inched towards her.

They were standing inches apart when he huskily said, "So, are you going to keep fighting this." He was breathing her scent in—some flowery scent that he couldn't quite place. She smelled so damn good and every part of his body noticed.

Meredith couldn't say a word, breath, or move. _Damn, his eyes are looking down into my soul . . . he is just so . . . NO . . . I am watching Alex . . . trying to help him . . . Derek is OFF LIMITS . . . then, why can't I move . . . MOVE . . . DO SOMETHING_ . . .

Right as Meredith was going to say something, anything, she heard tires squealing on the track. "HOLY SHIT!" Meredith yelled realizing the tires were Alex's. . .

He stopped his car dead in the track when he looked over and saw Derek Shepherd talking to his sister . . .

"WHAT IN THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" Alex yelled at Derek.

Derek took a step back and ran his hands through his hair. About that time, Mark saw the escalading confrontation and started heading quickly to the infield of the track.

"STOP! Alex, just stop." Meredith yelled at Alex. He just stopped dead in his tracks. She wasn't going to let them having a pissing contest right here in front of everyone to see.

By that time, Meredith and Derek were in close proximity with Alex and Mark approximately 15 feet from them. No one moved . . .

"Will someone say something?" Meredith said loudly.

"So, is this a pissing contest I can join in on also?" Mark said with a smirk trying to lighten the air.

Derek and Alex both shot him a glare. "Stay out of this Mark." Derek said warningly.

Mark had enough of Derek and Alex needed to be set straight. It was apparent Derek wasn't going to say anything so, he thought he would.

"Look, he tried to call you to apologize for the race the other night." Mark said.

"He called to try and get in the good graces of my sister—my twin sister. I distinctly remember telling you to leave her the fuck alone!" Alex said starting out talking to Mark then turning to glare at Derek.

"Ok, listen up and listen good. . . Derek is a great guy—probably one of the best guys a woman could have, but you are so hung up on him being your competitor that you can't even see that he may be just the thing for your sister." Mark told Alex in a low growl.

"You don't tell me what could be the best thing for her. She doesn't want anything to do with that piece of shit. He is just another race car driver—they do nothing but hurt women. It isn't like he is going to have a life for himself outside of racing. Mer and I—we are different. This is just a hobby for us . . . we are smart and are both starting medical school next week and we don't need this shit. Yes, I am going to keep racing, but he needs to stay away from her because she deserves better than a fucking race car driver!" Alex says back saying it loud enough for all 3 of them to hear.

"You really are a stupid ass." Mark replied, realizing Alex nor did his sister have any clue that Derek and he are medical students.

"ENOUGH!" Meredith yelled to all of them.

"What did you just say?" Derek said quietly to himself which caused Meredith to look up at him . . .

"Enough????" Meredith said questioningly as she didn't know why he looked so dumbfounded.

"You . . . you are a medical student . . . I heard Alex got in . . . but, it never hit me . . . " Derek stopped talking when Mark walked over to him.

"How would you know Alex got in?" Meredith asked as Alex moved in close to her.

"Derek, it is not worth it . . . " Mark whispered to Derek.

Derek looked at Mark with pleading eyes and Mark knew he had to continue this.

"Well . . . uh . . . IamASecondYearMedicalStudent." Derek replied hurryingly.

Derek knew Alex would be attending the same medical school. One day as class was ending; one of his favorite professors stopped him and asked if he knew Alex Grey and Derek mumbled something about knowing who he was. The professor figured he would know since he was a race car driver also. 

"Great, this is just fucking great." Alex said as he walked straight up to Derek and looked him in the eye.

Meredith knew this was not good. _OH MY. . . BAD . . . VERY BAD . . . As if this situation needed to be more complicated . . . He is going to be a doctor . . . he is more than just a race car driver . . . he is a hot race car driver, but a doctor. . . he even has brains . . . I bet they are as hot as the rest of him . . . STOP . . . bad . . . he is having a pissing contest with Alex . . . bad . . . maybe he needs to be punished . . . SHIT . . . it would be fun . . . no, it couldn't be fun . . . quit thinking like that . . . STOP RAMBLING IN YOUR HEAD . . . there is just something about him . . ._ But, she had to say something to try and end this confrontation as she knew it wasn't going to help.

"Well, Derek, it looks like we will be seeing you around then." Meredith said looking at her brother hoping she could get him to leave with her before this got out of hand.

Derek couldn't say anything. His breath was caught again. _Breath Derek. . . deep breaths. . . She is really smart. . . just not another girl . . . she knows about racing . . . she wants to be a doctor . . . she is perfect . . . I want her . . . more than just sex . . . I bet she is good at that though . . . STOP . . . right now, you can't even get past her brother . . . I have to find a way . . ._ "You will be seeing Mark too, he is also a second year med student." Derek managed to get out.

"Then we will be seeing you also Mark." Meredith replied. Alex shot a glance at Derek then at Mark and if looks could kill—both men would be dead. . .

"Ok, EVERYONE STOP." Mark said loudly as he noticed Alex ready to pounce on either or both of them. Mark was taking charge.

"Alex, Derek called you a few days ago to apologize. He is really sorry for bumping you—not because of your sister but because of the guy he is. You have seen him and his driving. It is not characteristic for him. You and I, we would do it in a second, but not him. You need to give him a chance. Even the feisty little Asian sees that they have something—although she did threaten Derek a little. You would have to be blind to not see that." Mark said loud as he stared each of the three down.

No one knew what to say. Alex looked at his sister and saw her looking back at him with eyes that was full of something. For the first time in his life, he sees something in her eyes he has never seen before. . . He isn't quite sure what it is, but he has a gut feeling it has something to do with Derek Shepherd. He then takes a long hard look at Derek and sees something similar—not a typical look from a guy who just wanted sex—he knew that look all too well until recently himself. He hasn't stopped hating his competitor long enough to take this in. He was about to do something that wasn't in his character, since he has always been there for Meredith and wanted the best for her. She was a grown woman and as much as he wants to forbid her, he can't . . . not with the look in her eyes pleading for something.

Alex sighs as he can't believe what is about to come out of his mouth and wasn't quite sure what would come out until it spilled out of him, "Derek, I have watched the end of that race quite a few times to see what I need to improve on. What I realize is I actually slipped, I had the wrong tires on—well, we took a gamble and gambled wrong. Your guys gambled and won. It isn't your fault; I actually kind of slipped into you as you were going around. My tires just wouldn't hold. Thanks for calling . . . "

With that, Alex walked away and Meredith followed him. Alex knew he couldn't let any of them think it was ok for his sister to do god knows what with Derek. But, he could at least try to be civil to the man. He just didn't want to see her hurt . . . she deserved the best. . .

Before they got too far away, Meredith stopped and walked back over to Derek and Mark. She held out her hand and said, "Hello, I am Meredith Grey. It is nice to meet you both."

Derek just stood speechless as Meredith walked away. He could not process what just happened. "She. . . Meredith. . . WOW. . . um. . . just. . . med school. . . the same school. . . her. . and her brother. . . " Derek mumbled as that is all he could do. He couldn't form a coherent thought or sentence. 

Mark just stood there watching Derek like he was crazy. The sad thing—Mark knew he was crazy—about a girl named Meredith. "Man, close your mouth. . . you sound and look stupid acting that way." Mark said quietly to Derek.

"I . . . can't . . . she. . . Meredith. . . WOW" he continued like a fool.

"STOP!" Mark over and made Derek face him, "Get a hold of yourself!"

Derek took a deep breath and looked over to where Meredith had gone. She went back to the pit area while Alex got back in his car and drove around there. "What in the hell am I going to do?"

Mark couldn't believe Derek had asked him this same question twice this week. This made Mark even more convinced he really couldn't let her go. Mark really wasn't sure what to tell him, "I think right now, you just need to focus on not being the bad guy in the eyes of big, bad brother."

"He. . . his fault. . . can you believe. . . he actually . . . said . . . his fault." Derek said still mumbling quietly still trying to just take it in.

"Yes, he did which is a step in the right direction, but something tells me he isn't going to roll over and just let you fuck his sister."

Derek looked up and stared hard at Mark. For the first time since Meredith walked away, he was able to form a logical thought, "It is NOT about just fucking her and don't EVER say that again." He said hissing at Mark.

"WOAH, Shep, I was not meaning that. . . "

"Shit, I know man, it is just, and she is just. . . I don't even know what to say. . . I know this is crazy. . . I don't even really know her and this is bad, very bad. . . I don't even want someone right now. . .she is all I think about . . . when I walked up to her . . . the smell of her hair was unlike any smell I have ever smelled. . ." Derek said as he closed his eyes thinking about how close they were . . . he really wanted to take her in his arms, hold her tight, kiss her lips. . . all of it. . . he wanted all of it.

"You really do have it bad for her. . . what the hell happened to serious Derek. . . you know. . . the one without any time for anything other than racing and school. . . " Mark said.

Derek thought for a few seconds. He had not even thought about starting school and he did want to be the best. He didn't have time for anything other than those things and he knew it. "I just don't know, none of it seems so important. . . "

"That is something that would come from me, but from you, WOW, Shep. . . " Mark laughed.

Derek managed to let out a grin, "Yeah, but you only have time to love em and leave em, for a night. . . "

"This is very true. . . " Mark said grinning.

After thinking for a minute in silence, Derek says, "Mark, she is . . ." He almost said it, but just couldn't, not yet. . . What if things didn't work out. . . No, he couldn't think that way. . . He had to have her. . . no matter what.

Mark knew what Derek almost said, that is how their relationship worked. . . He also knew Derek didn't need him to question him any further about it. "Let's go, you have a race tomorrow night to get ready for . . . "

"Yeah, a race I have to win." Not talking about the race tomorrow night.


	12. The Other Woman

Meredith was running really late tonight; Cristina held her up which was strange. Cristina had been acting very strange since they moved in. She asked Cristina a few times if she was alright and it was the same answer every time—I am fine.

"Hurry your ass up, we are going to be late. . . " Meredith yells at Cristina.

"Hold your damn horses, you are just in a hurry to have eye sex with McDreamy."

"Don't call him that. . . he is not. . . definitely not that. . . "

"Whatever. . . So, how do I look?"

"Who are you and what in the hell did you do with my person?" Meredith asked shocked. Since when did Cristina care how she looked—Meredith thought this was very strange.

"I have to keep up with your ass since you went all weird on me and decided to dress up and put that stuff on your face when you go out especially when you possibly may see McDreamy."

"He is not McDreamy. . . no McDreamy. . . "

"Just fuck him and get it over with – what has it been. . . 7 months." Cristina winced the minute she said it. . .

"What the fuck did you just say?"

"Mer, I am sorry. . . I didn't mean too. . . " Cristina didn't mean to say anything about it and it just kind of slipped out. Meredith used to take any guy home from the bar—none of them serious but not since. . .

Meredith had also not thought about what happened 7 months ago since moving here at the end of the last semester. "I know Cristina, and you are right . . . it has been a while . . . must be a new record for me since I started having sex. . . " Meredith said lightening the mood a little.

There weren't many times Cristina would refrain from being a smart ass but this was one of those times. When it came to this. . . she just decided to let it be. . . It really wasn't terrible, but it did give Meredith a wake up call and caused her to re-think decisions usually made during an over-indulgence of tequila. She didn't realize a person could become so attached in so little of time, but she had.

The race had started by the time Meredith and Cristina got to the track. Meredith had mixed feelings about that—part of her wanted to see Derek—he looked so good in that racing suit. . . especially before he zips it all of the way up and he has that tight undershirt. She then remembers she can't think of him that way—EVER. It was bad enough he and Alex were competitors on the track, but know they were all going to the same medical school.

"About time you get here . . . He is doing terrible tonight." Brad yelled over to Meredith before realizing she wasn't alone tonight.

"Yeah, my person is being all weird and stupid—she thought she had to actually put some effort into her looks tonight. . . " Meredith said looking at Cristina. She just didn't understand why she felt she had to do all of that. . . Cristina said it was so everyone would drool over her ass, but Meredith still thought it was weird—since when has Cristina EVER wanted anyone looking at her ass, must less drooling over it. . .

About this time, Brad stuck out his hand to shake Cristina's, "Hello, I am Brad."

"Do you think I really care?" Cristina said back snickering at him.

"Well, aren't you pleasant . . . " Brad said to Cristina before getting back to the race.

Cristina started to answer when Alex yelled over the radio, "I am coming in, something is wrong with my damn tire."

Brad rounded up the crew and Alex was back on the track in no time.

Cristina and Meredith spent most of the race from the stands where family members, spouses, and/or "the girls" of the drivers sat. Cristina had never been to a race so Meredith actually explained many things about racing and the track to her. Cristina had heard most of it before on their race night rituals, but it was different this time. Cristina was actually there—this was her first race to attend.

As the end of the race was getting closer and closer, Meredith started getting more and more tense. This was a terrible night for Alex—one of the worst he has ever raced. There was no way he was going to win, but Derek had been leading most of the time. He was beginning to have a little competition and Meredith felt herself getting nervous. . ._Come on Derek. . . WAIT. . . WHAT THE HELL. . . I can't go for him. . . Well, Alex is not going to win. . . SHIT. . . I can't do that. . .Oh, Derek, watch the #45 on your right. . ._ Her thoughts were interrupted.

"Wow, you usually aren't too interested in the race when Alex doesn't do so well, you seem really tense. Who is that in the lead?" Cristina didn't really know. . . She did watch racing with Meredith, but she never paid attention to any of it. She always studied or did something more productive. Meredith didn't mind as long as she was there just in case. . .

"Ah. . . well. . . I am not. . . um. . . it looks like. . . um" Meredith kind of rumbles. . .

"Shit, its . . . " Before Cristina could finish the beautiful brown headed woman sitting right in front of them turned around and said, "It is Derek Shepherd, the best driver out there." The woman had a smile on her face which lit up when she mentioned his name. She also was dressed perfectly with each strand of hair in its proper place.

Meredith immediately got defensive but wasn't sure what she was more upset about—the fact that this woman said Derek was the best driver or this woman knew Derek and lit up when saying his name. She was so mad she could hardly say anything and she knew if she did she would just ramble. Cristina noticed this.

"Well, aren't you a clever one. . . If you knew anything about racing which you obviously don't, you would know that Alex Grey is the best driver." Cristina snarled.

"Well, who are you, the bimbo for the night? All of these drivers have them except for Derek." The woman snapped back.

This made Meredith stomach turn. _The ass. . . how could he. . . UGH. . . all men are just the same. . . if they don't call you a . . . I can't think about that. . . but, bottom line, they are scum. . . worst than scum. . . after he flirted with me. . . and he did that thing with his eyes. . . BAD. . ._

"I am. . . "

Before she could finish, the checkered flag was waving. . .

Meredith quickly went down to the pit immediately after the race; she just couldn't handle seeing that woman anymore. She wondered who she was, but it didn't really matter, there was nothing between her and Derek . . This was definitely for the best. . . she just couldn't get hurt again, but for the first time in 7 months, she had actually thought about things. . .

"Well, Evil Spawn, guess you fucked it all up tonight and I finally came to see your ass. . . " Cristina yelled over as they neared Alex getting out of his car.

"Thanks for nice words of encouragement. . ." Alex looked and smiled at Cristina.

Meredith didn't notice Alex's smile, but she did notice a smile on Cristina's face. She hardly ever had one, one time in the last month she got a smile due to the day Meredith's mom was in town and they were able to watch a surgery at the hospital in the gallery. She had been there on a consult.

"Hey Toots, thanks for being here on time. I could have used you at the beginning. . ."

All Meredith could mumble out was, "yeah. . . "

"She is acting all weird, some woman in the . . . " Cristina started but was cut off. . .

"Cristina. . . " Meredith hissed over at Cristina.

"Alex, you are soaking wet and you smell like you have taken a bath in sweat." Cristina said looking disgusted.

Meredith hears the two of them talking. As she is looking around, her eyes caught with a pair of beautiful blue one's. In the second after that, she noticed the beautiful, perfect brown headed woman hugging Derek and giving him a kiss on the cheek. [I Who the hell does she think she is. . . he is. . . SHIT. . . he isn't anything. . . nothing. . . no. . . not a thing. . . she can have him. . .ASS.[/I

Derek looked back at Meredith and saw the confusion in her eyes. He had to do something and do it quickly. . .

"Meredith. . . " Derek yelled out.

Alex, Cristina, and Meredith all looked up. Alex started to move, but Cristina stopped him as Meredith was standing a little ways away. Meredith started to move in the opposite direction, but Derek caught up to her and grabbed her arm.

"LET. . . ME. . . GO!" Meredith demanded.

"Aren't you going to congratulate me on my win?" Derek said giving him his best McDreamy smile.

"NO, HELL NO! You are an ass!"

"Come over here, I have someone for you to meet. . . "

"Seriously? You want me to meet someone. . . SERIOUSLY?" Meredith yelled.

About that time the perfect brown haired woman walked over. "Hello, this must be her. . . " said the woman.

What? Meredith wondered. . . She isn't sure what this means. . .

Derek cleared his throat upset that his sister would say that. "This is Meredith, Meredith, this is my sister, Carrie. She flew here this morning to watch the race and is going back tomorrow evening. She knew I was going to be busy the next few months, so she decided to come now. . ." Derek said hoping Meredith's eyes would change from pure anger to the beautiful hazel color he has seen a few times.

"Oh. . . um. . . hello. . . But, I do have to say, Alex is definitely the best driver out here." She said smirking at both of them.

It was Derek's turn to be shocked. . . "What. . . why. . .have you two talked. . . "

"Let's just say we were in close proximity in the stands." Carrie said as she looked at Meredith and winked. Carrie had heard all about Meredith before coming and she knew Derek was going to kill her afterwards for saying what she did earlier, but she didn't care. All she heard about was this girl named Meredith. She had never seen her brother like that and she thought he was NUTS!!! He didn't even know this woman. They haven't even had a decent conversation. She really wanted to talk longer to this woman who had her brother turned upside down.

Meredith didn't know what to say. She was actually nice. She had assumed. . . "Sister. . . you are his sister. . . I didn't know he had a. . . " She stopped as she realized she really knew nothing about him other than he was a driver—a damn good one and was a second year medical student. The question she now has in her mind is does she want to get to know him better?

Alex looked over at Meredith at this exact moment and saw her body and face tense up. He had to help her. He got past Cristina, "What the hell is going on here?"

"Alex . . . everything is fine. . . " Meredith said quietly but confidently. She really was ok, but just couldn't think . . . she needed to think. . .

"Hey, it is terrible what happened to you so early on in the race. . . I was looking forward to some real competition. . . " Derek said to Alex with true sincerity in his voice.

Mark joined them as did Cristina. All of them looked at Derek shocked he had said what he did.

"Yeah, it would have been bad me kicking your ass." Alex said quickly and confidently.

"Well, too bad we couldn't have tested that out tonight." Derek said back calmly.

Meredith couldn't believe they were actually talking as normal as they could to each other and kind of bantering back and forth with decent comments.

"Oh, don't worry Shepherd, there will be plenty of time."

"So, you are the Alex Grey. . . I have watched many of your races—mostly on TV, but I have always wanted to meet you." Carrie said as Derek deserved a taste of the feeling Alex had about Derek.

She was right. The minute she said it, Derek glared at Alex, daring him to say anything. Meredith also noticed Cristina become very interested at this comment.

"Well, here I am in the flesh . . . " Alex gave his best flirty look, but his mind was on only one woman right now.

Mark looked over at Derek and realized this may not end well if Alex flirted like he knew Alex would and Carrie. . . he doesn't even want to think about how far she would go. If Derek only knew about Mark and Carrie. . .hell, Mark and all of his sisters. . . not together although Mark would not have been opposed.

Just as Carrie was going to say something, Mark jumped in, "Hey Derek, I think some people would like to interview you. Come on, Carrie, let's go watch it."

"Well, it was nice to meet you all. Meredith, I hope to be seeing you on my next visit. . . " Carrie said nicely to Meredith.

"Um. . . I am not sure. . . I will be busy. . . " Meredith said flustered.

Derek realized Meredith was unsure of what his sister means and cut in, "Soph, she is starting her first year of medical school so she may not have time to come to watch races." Derek hoped this would not be true, but he knew she would be busy. It was possible they wouldn't even see each other on campus even if they had totally different schedules.

Carrie already knew she was starting her first year of medical school as Derek had already told her this. She also noticed the pleading look in his eyes for her to not let on that she already knew anything about this. "Well, good luck, Meredith and Alex, I will be watching you."

"I hope so." Alex said smirking. He loved watching two of the five people squirm—for two totally different reasons. One was Derek. . . He deserved it. . . Alex knew how it felt. The other . . . he hated she was standing there. . .


	13. A Cold One

Derek got up early Monday morning to cook breakfast for him and Mark; although he wasn't sure why he had started this little tradition. The first day of every semester Derek cooks them a good breakfast. Derek did believe a good day starts with a good breakfast, and he felt this day would be especially good. Well, he was hoping to see Meredith although he was pretty sure he wouldn't. 

Mark came in straight from out of bed, "Damn, it smells good. Woke me up from my dream and trust me . . . that was hard. . . "

Derek just laughed. . . He was used to Mark by now. . . he was just glad there wasn't a third mouth to feed as many days there was. . . "So, we don't have a third joining us this morning. . . "

"No, she was more of a do it and run kind of girl—no staying the night . . . my favorite kind. . . "

Derek thought maybe one day he would grow up and try to have a real relationship. "You are hopeless. . . Don't you want more—ever?" Derek didn't ever want to have meaningless sex—it was the person he was. . .

"And be like you, ABSOLUTELY NOT. Look at what Meredith has. . . "

"Shut the fuck up. . . I can't think about her this morning . . . concentrate. . . I have to concentrate. It is our second year and I have to do great. I really want to study neuro and that takes serious time studying. One of the hardest. . .so, no time. . . concentrate. . ."

"You really can't get her out of your mind, you are acting like a fool. Rambling over a girl. . . WOW. . . you really are rambling. . . like a girl. . ." Mark said laughing at his best friend.

"No, I. . . am. . . not. . . " Derek said very quietly as he was thinking. [IAm I really rambling. . . OH MY GOD. . . I really was. . . I, Derek, do not do that shit. . . But, Meredith . . . she is . . . I know I won't even get to see her around probably . . . she will be in the same classes I took last year. . .maybe I could help her study. . .Oh. . .BAD. . . Alex will not have it . . . they will probably study together. . . I wonder if the small Asian girl who was with her is also in med school with them . . . if so, I have no chance of studying with her. . . SHIT. . . I could help them all though. . . NO. . . Alex. . . BAD. . . [/I

"If you aren't rambling, you are deep in thought. . . " Mark just looked at his brother with a questionable look. . . He knew Derek couldn't get Meredith out of his mind and hoped Alex would come around because he had a feeling Meredith wouldn't even consider Derek no matter how much she wanted if Alex didn't approve. This information actually came from Brad as Mark had inquired a little.

"Yeah. . . let's eat breakfast and get going. I really need to get to campus early in order to see about my teacher assistant (TA) position. You probably should to."

"I really am pretty excited. . . almost as excited as having mind-blowing sex. . . "

"Is everything compared with sex?" Derek said shaking his head.

"What else is there in life?" Mark said smirking while eating.

"Lots of things, Mark. . . "

"All I need in life is boobs . . . for sex and to fix . . . you know I am riding plastics all of the way. . . "

"Let's just hope you remember the line between the two. . . " Derek said laughing.

"Enough talk about boobs this morning or I will just have to skip my first class this morning . . . find a first year. . . " Mark said as he looked at Derek. . .

Derek didn't say anything as his expression to Mark said it all. . . [IThere is only one first year to keep your hands off. . . but man, would I do anything to skip my first class to have her boobs. . . touch them. . . suck on them. . . STOP. . . you don't need a hard-on going to class this morning. . . I bet they are perfect. . . and I bet the rest of her. . . OK. . . ENOUGH. . . can't go there. . . but[/I Derek's thoughts were interrupted by Mark.

"I am going to take a quick shower and by the look of things you could use another one—a cold one."


	14. The First Day of Classes

**I know the last update was shortish. . . but, this one is longer. . . I hope you are enjoying the story. . . THANKS for reading!**

"MEREDITH, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STILL DOING IN BED?" Cristina yelled as she went into Meredith's room after seeing her keys still on the kitchen table. She knew she had class early this morning. She and Alex didn't have class until 2 hours later—the lab class Meredith took over the summer. All three of them had a class together in the afternoon. On Tuesdays, Meredith, Cristina, and Alex had 2 classes together.

"What?? Cristina. . . SHIT. . . SHIT . . . this is BAD. . . " Meredith was yelling as she jumped out of bed. She wouldn't have time for a shower, she was already late, but she didn't want to be any later than she already was. . . " My first day of class and it is the big one. . . I will probably be the only. . . SHIT. . . "

"Calm down. . .being all crazy will not help you get there on time. . . " Cristina said as she watched Meredith running around her room trying to find something to wear.

"I wanted to look nice. . .You know. . .first day. . . "

"Is that the only reason you want to look nice?"

"No. . . Definitely not . . . just, I have a reputation to uphold. . .my mother . . . they all know who my mother is I am sure. . .who doesn't. . . SHIT. . . I bet she will know I was late. . . ON MY FIRST DAY. . . "

"WHAT IS ALL OF THE COMMOTION ABOUT?" Alex yells as he finds where all the noise is coming from.

"Your sister is freaking out. . . she is late. . .class starts in. . . well, right now. . . and the school is at least 5 minutes away and she has to find a parking spot. . . good luck with that."

"Calm down. . . I will just take you and drop you off. . . " Alex says watching his sister really freak out. Alex never cared with their mother thought of him, but Meredith—she did care and didn't want to disappoint. For some reason Ellis had always rode Meredith harder. They were twins, but that didn't seem to matter. Maybe it was she was the only daughter in the family . . . he never really understood it.

"SHIT. . . I can't find some clean pants. . . I guess I am going to have to wear jeans—at least I have a decent shirt to wear with them. " Meredith went about putting her hair up. . . make up just wasn't going to happen—not that she wore much anyway. . . she didn't really need it.

"Ok, you look GREAT . . . let's go. . . " Alex said feeling badly for his sister. He knew she had more to live up to than him especially with her going to this class. . . Ellis had really pulled some strings this summer and he knew Meredith felt the pressure.

As Alex pulled up to the door of the building, he stopped her before she jumped out, "Mer, you are going to do great. . . You were the top student in the lab class this summer and you are going to be an amazing doctor and surgeon if you decide that is for sure what you want to do. Take some deep breaths before you go in. I know you are nervous as hell being a first year going into this class—the lab for 2nd year medical students, but you will be great. . . Hell, you will probably show them all up. I know I can be a real ass sometimes, but I love you and you are really great. . . I can't believe I am about to say this, but I am so proud of you and look up to you. I only wish I can be as great as you are."

"Alex, don't say that . . . you are GREAT. . . I only wish I could be as good as you are. I wish I didn't care so much about what she thought. . . But, I do. . . It means a lot to me that you think I can do it—really do it. . . Ok, before we get really mushy. . . I REALLY need to go."

"Ok, Toots, see ya in a few hours."

"Love ya Speedo. . . we are going to knock 'em all dead. . . "

She got out of the car and ran into the building. She found the classroom . . . the same lab she was in for the summer class. She was really glad she knew exactly where it was. She took a deep breath and walked in. The second she did all eyes were on her, but she only noticed one pair of eyes on her.

_What in the hell is he doing sitting there . . . he can't be in this class . . . no way. . . SHIT . . . this is a class for 2nd years. . . I am just a 1st year. . . BAD idea . . . why did I have to take that stupid class in the summer . . . one more reason to dislike my mother. . ._ Meredith thinks to herself. She didn't even think about this possibility. . .

"Hey, man, close your mouth . . . it doesn't look good on you." Mark whispered from the table beside Derek. Mark chose one of the hot chicks from the class to sit with. He was really shocked to see her in the class though.

_What in the hell is she doing standing there . . . she can't be in this class . . . no way. . .DAMN IT. . . . She is in her 1st year. . . how in the hell would she already be in this class. . . she looks. . . INCREDIBLE. . ._ He just couldn't tear his eyes away from her. She looked the best he had ever seen her . . . hair pulled back in a low ponytail with the shorter strands tucked behind her ear. She had very little make up on which made her face and eyes glow that much more. He could feel his pants getting tighter by the second. _No, not now, I can't have her in this class. . . this class is one of the most important for me right now. . . no distractions. . . but she is a hot distraction. . . DAMN_ He knew this class was really important. This professor started at the beginning of the summer. He is one of the top neurosurgeons in the field, but had to take some time out of surgery due to some medical problems, so he was teaching. Derek had done quite a bit of research on him as this was his passion. . . He was excited to have him as a professor.

Before any of them could think one more thought, they heard Dr. Wright spoke up, "Hello, Ms. Grey. I guess you failed to remember you had class this morning at 8am. What would your . . . " He stopped before he said it. He had her over the summer and knew she was one of a kind—a real natural when it came to anything about medical procedures and surgery—she was going to be one of the greats—he knew it and was glad to be her teacher.

He knew of her mother as they were competing neurosurgeons. They even worked together on a few cases. She was hardcore and family seemed to be one of the last things on her mind. Dr. Wright was really surprised that she even had children but was glad to be teaching them both. Alex would be in his other class; the one Meredith took over the summer. Ellis even told him that Alex would be the best, but didn't have the same things to say about Meredith.

"Oh. . . Um . . . sorry. . . it won't happen again. . . my alarm." She was rambling and couldn't' believe she was late. But mostly, she hadn't expected to see him—Derek Shepherd. She couldn't help but look down at this point._I can't look up at him . . . if I do . . . with those eyes . . . those piercing blue eyes. . . BAD . . . concentrate. . . I have to concentrate. . . I have things to prove. . ._

"I know it won't. Let's see. It looks like most of the seats are taken. Ah . . . it looks like we have one person without a lab partner yet."

Meredith looked up at Derek. . . _No way . . . he can't be the only one left. . . SHIT. . . I have to concentrate. . . ALEX. . . SHIT . . . he is going to freak . . . breathe . . . maybe it is someone else that needs a lab partner . . . with those eyes and wearing those jeans. . . BAD . . . concentrate . . . med school . . . really hard . . . why did I have to be late. . . DAMN ALARM. . . _

At the same time, Derek was thinking. . . _She can't . . . no. . . I will not be able to . . . my hands . . . they will want to do stuff . . . not writing or anything that involves school. . . I should have chosen a partner. . . I just assumed since I was the odd man I would be with Mark. . . SHIT . . . she looks so . . . amazing. . . WHY . . . why now. . . I can't deal with it . . . breathe . . . just breathe. . ._

As Derek cleared his throat, Mark leaned over to whisper, "Looks like you are going to get laid after all." Mark just chuckled.

"You are a real ass—that is all you are worried about." Derek said growling.

"Is there something you would like to share with us . . . let's see. . . Mr. Shepherd and Mr. Sloan?" Dr. Wright said.

_Great, just great,_ Derek thought. This was the last thing he wanted.

Meredith looked up biting her lip. She was sure whatever they were talking about it had to do with her.

Derek finally spoke up, "No sir, sorry, very sorry."

"Well, it looks like you have yourself a partner, Mr. Shepherd."

"Oh, um, sir . . . is there. . . " Meredith said quietly walking closer to Dr. Wright.

She was cut off by Dr. Wright, "Ms. Grey, your lab partner is Mr. Shepherd, but it looks like you may have your hands full with that one. I will be watching closely." He said with a very low voice so that only Meredith could hear.

If he only knew. . .

Meredith went and sat opposite of Derek. Neither of them had any idea how they could do this . . . be lab partners . . . to actually work together.

They didn't have any time in class to talk due to Dr. Wright going over all of the basic first day stuff: things they will be going over, review of what they did in the first lab class, as well as a little information on his background. They were lucky to have such a wonderful doctor as their professor.

The minute they were out of class, Meredith tried to get away, but Derek chased her.

She finally stopped, "What in the hell do you want?"

"We need to talk. . . "

"What in the world do we need to talk about. . . Oh yeah . . . how bad this is . . . you keep looking at me . . . with those eyes, those piercing. . . " _Shit, STOP. . . WHAT IN THE HELL AM I THINKING. . . _Meredith thought after she almost said way too much.

Did he just hear correctly? He had to find a more private place to talk to her. . . He noticed an empty room and pulled her in.

"What do you think you are doing?"

"We need to talk and preferably not in front of everyone in this building."

"Ok," Meredith said knowing they did need to have this conversation.

"So. . . we are lab partners." Derek said leaning against the table looking very McDreamy.

Meredith looked up to meet his eyes, biting her lip. _Why??? Don't look at my like that. . . I can't. . . He shouldn't lean like that. . . I just want to. . . NO I DON'T . . ._ Clearing her throat, "Yes, we are." Before she knew it, she was walking closer . . . she couldn't stop her legs from moving.

"Meredith. . . " He was barely able to breathe out.

"We need to talk." Meredith said as she was about a foot apart from him.

"Yeah . . . talk. . . " He couldn't take his eyes off of her eyes. . . her lips. . . her entire beautiful face.

Before he knew it, she had closed the gap and moved her lips up to his grazing them. "talk. . . "

He felt his jeans tightening for the third time today. . . "Talk. . . " he said against her lips as he took them softly at first. The kiss quickly deepened with both tongues fighting to learn the inside of each other's mouth. They pulled back for a second and locked eyes. . . "We should . . . talk. . . " Derek said huskily.

At the second their lips almost locked again, the door opened. "I thought I saw you go in here." Mark said as he looked at both of them, shocked at the look he found on both faces.

"We were . . . talking . . . lab partner stuff. . . " Meredith mumbled as she said it.

"Whatever you say Grey." Mark said smirking at Derek who was giving him a look. . . a look to tell him to shut the hell up.

"Give us a second, Mark" Derek said.

"Gladly, you deserve it. . . " Mark said as Derek started coughing loudly so he wouldn't say anything else.

"Ok, Shep, I will be right outside waiting for you, we have a meeting to get to. . . "

"Yeah, I will be right out." Derek said as Mark left.

"Derek. . . that was. . . we have to concentrate on school. . . I have to. . ." Meredith said quickly.

"Yes, we do. . . I have to also. . . " Derek said. It was weird and he couldn't quite understand but they knew what each other was thinking without saying it.

It was clear to both of them just from those few words that they had to concentrate on school and doing well. They both wanted to be the best. They knew that. Both of them couldn't help but wonder if they could be even better together. . .


	15. Stay Away

"Hey, Toots, how was your first class." Alex said loudly when he saw Meredith sitting on a bench outside of the building of their first class together. 

She looked up slowly at Alex and Cristina walking towards her, "Um. . . Hey. . . " Meredith said slowly and quietly.

"How was your first class this morning? Was the professor pissed you were late?" Alex asked.

"Oh . . . um . . . good . . . first class . . . good . . . professor not pissed. . . " Meredith got out.

"What the hell happened?" Cristina popped up smirking. She knew something was up.

"Um . . . nothing . . . definitely nothing. . . NO nothing. . . "

"Something definitely happened." Cristina said quickly.

"It was nothing and you two need to get to class. I am just going to sit here . . . maybe even something to eat. . . eat is good. . . maybe even read some—the reading for my first class is going to have lots of reading. . . lots of studying. . . by myself. . . definitely by myself. . . lab partners are bad. . . " Meredith rambled on.

Cristina knew something happened in that class, but really didn't have time to inquire too much about it now. She had to get to class early to appear to be the best student. "It is time for me to become #1 in our class, see ya this afternoon." Cristina said.

"You only wish doll." Alex said smiling at her.

"Ok. . . see you guys. . . um. . . later. . . " Meredith said still acting strange.

As Alex and Cristina walk away, Alex asks, "She was really weird, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I just wonder what it was . . . maybe the professor was a real ass. Maybe he needs to get laid . . . we have the same one and he is really great from the research I have done on him. . . I could. . . "

Before Cristina could finish, Alex piped up quickly, "HELL NO! You aren't sleeping with your professors here. I won't allow it."

"What do you mean here?" Cristina said raising and an eyebrow. . .

"Don't give me that, I know how you got your A's. Mer rambles when she is drunk . . . you should know."

"Well, you aren't fucking any of your study partners or anyone else for that matter?"

"And, why do you think you are going to stop me?"

"I know how to stop it all. . . "

"In your dreams sweetheart. . . "

"Did you just use the word sweetheart for me?"

"Yeah, and what are you going to do about it?"

"You may need to be punished. . . "

"I look forward to it."

"Ok, this. . . can't happen. . . I have to be serious. . . I have to beat you and your sister. Don't ever forget—we are always in competition."

"Makes it all the more better."

"Shut up, Evil Spawn."

"Wow, you haven't called me that in a long. . . "

"You are an ass" Cristina cut him off.

"But, you love this ass"

"Enough to spank it. . . "

"I look forward to it."

They entered the classroom and decided to sit towards the front. Alex protested, but Cristina was going to win, she had to be noticed by the professor. As they took their seats and got their laptops out and ready, in walks the professor and the TA for the class. . .

"What in the fuck. . . " Alex mumbles loud enough for Cristina to hear. . .

"Looks like we get to look at McDreamy all semester long. . . Mer is going to love this. . . " Cristina says with a smirk.

Alex shot a death stare and said, "Don't you dare even say that shit. . . "

About that same time, Derek stopped walking and looked at Alex and the Asian sitting with him—the one that told him to treat Meredith like a queen . . . _Shit. . . I didn't even think about this. . . I knew he could be in this class, but was hoping he was in the other class. . . He hates me and now . . . now I have to be his TA. . .SHIT. . . BAD . . . I just had the most amazing kiss with his sister and we are also lab partners. . . BAD . . . this semester is starting to be one from hell . . . we are racing competitors and now. . .SHIT. . . I have to change this. . . SHIT. . . I can't b/c Dr. Wright is the professor of the other class and they would never let me be his TA with him being my professor. . . Maybe I could switch with Mark . . . yeah. . . BUT . . . they could all be in his class also. . . _

"Welcome everyone to your first lab class . . . your first of many. You are all lucky enough to have me, Dr. Medical." No one really laughed, but looked at this guy like he was nuts. Derek of course smiled as this is exactly the way he started last year. Derek really loved him as a professor. He acted like he was a tough, wise ass, but he really was great and knew his shit. He prepared them like no other professor in Derek's opinion and despite the current situation with Alex; he was excited to be working for him. He was really one of the only one's who wanted to because he was tough on his students which also meant lots of work and perfection from the TA, but great.

"Great, we have a real smart ass as a teacher. . . " Alex mumbles to Cristina.

"Well, I guess we have found the other wise guy in the class, with myself being #1." Dr. Medical says laughing. "What is your name?"

"Alex Grey" He says loudly and proudly. Who the hell did he think he was talking to him like that. . . Everyone knew the famous Ellis Grey and probably knew her kids were starting medical school here.

"Ahhh. . . inbred. . . just so we are clear, I don't give a shit about who your mother is. Don't you have a sister here also. . . Make sure to pass on the message to her also."

The class just looked at this professor with shock; no one knew what to say. Derek was stunned. He knew Dr. Lawrence, who called himself Dr. Medical on the first day was a smart ass and full of shit, but this was crossing the line. . . He brought up Meredith . . .NOT OK. He also knew Alex wouldn't stand by and let him talk like that so he had to do something. . . "Hello, I am Derek Shepherd and I am your TA this semester."

"Um, Mr. Shepherd. . . I know you are new at this position, but you are not to speak unless you are asked."

Derek knew he really wasn't like this, well, he was a smart ass, but the first few weeks, he really pushed the limit of being a flat out ass. He told the class later on in the semester that part of his job is to make medical students strong and tough and this was his way. He also threatened them not to tell anyone—mainly the new students coming in. This was his way. His students ended up loving him in the end as they did see how smart he was and how many connections he had all over the world.

"Yes, Dr. Lawrence, I am sorry." Derek said in a low tone kind of looking over in Alex's direction. They did see each others eyes and both had an understanding—Alex was not to say anything or challenge anything Dr. Lawrence said or did today. Derek knew he needed to talk to Alex about Dr. Lawrence.

"Ok, now that we have that established . . . we need to set some ground rules." Dr. Lawrence said.

He went on and on about everything and not a person in the room moved one inch. They didn't want to do anything to draw any attention to themselves.

When class was over, everyone left including Derek. He told Dr. Lawrence he had to run today right after being this is the first day of class, but would be able to stay late. This was ok with Dr. Lawrence. He liked Derek, he thought Derek showed some of the most promise in his first year and requested him to be his TA. He had lots to show him.

As he walked out, he caught up to Alex, "Hey, Grey, can I speak to you a second please."

Alex looked at Cristina with pleading eyes to hear Cristina say, "You are on your own."

"Yeah, we should probably talk about this. . . " Alex said grumbling.

"Let's go outside." Derek suggested.

"Sounds good." Alex said hesitantly. He was quite sure they needed to talk about their present situation. On the track, they are competitors . . . more of equals . . . that wasn't the case here. Derek was there to help . . . help Alex learn. It was going to be strange and they needed to talk.

"I am going to find Mer and make sure she ate some lunch. She was sure acting strange earlier." Cristina said looking up at Derek. She was Mer's person and knew something happened earlier and was pretty sure it had something to do with McDreamy.

Derek's breath caught when he heard Cristina say this—an action that didn't go unnoticed by Cristina.

"Ok, I will see you guys in a little while."

Alex followed Derek outside. "So, I am going to be your TA this semester it seems."

"Hell no, I am getting out of that class . . . that guy is a complete ass and I can't deal with him. Did you hear him? He. . . " Alex wanted to continue, but Derek cut him off.

"Ok, first of all . . . stop . . . you are just pissed at him because he called you out when you were an ass."

Before Derek could continue as he planned, Alex said loudly, "I don't know why the hell I thought we could do this—have a civil conversation. I am out of here."

Derek grabbed his arm and said forcefully, "You need to hear me out. For once in your life, just shut up and listen and don't be a cocky ass."

"Why the fuck should I listen to anything you have to say."

"Fine, I am trying to help you out, really help, not be a jerk. Help you be the best damn medical student you can be. You have a shadow to overcome . . . don't you want to be known more than Ellis's son. . . "

"Ok, Shepherd, you better not be fucking me around. I can kick your ass you know, on or off the track."

"I will count on it if I am bull shitting you!" This caused them both to let out the breath they had been holding and even caused a smile for both of them.

"Ok, I will listen." Alex said.

"First of all, you are an ass—a cocky one. I can be too with the things that I excel at. Dr. Lawrence—he is the best and you will learn so much from him."

"So, he has a name other than Mr.Medical."

"Yeah, he just likes to be a wise ass. He is also going to try and break you—all of you, but especially you. You have a famous mother and he is going to expect the best from you. He is going to challenge you—along with many of the doctors here—to rise above your mother's shadow. They will do the same thing to Meredith." Derek stopped as he had not thought about this. He had to help Meredith also. There were still so many questions he had for her . . . for starters—how the hell she got in a 2nd year lab class as a first year med student.

"So, you really think this guy is good?"

"I think if you stick in his class, you will learn twice as much as you could ever imagine and actually end up being his TA next year." Derek said laughing.

"I doubt that. . . "

"Well, let's just say, I was the one he singled out last year. . . Although it should have been Mark, but my dad. . . "

Alex noticed sadness in Derek's eyes when he mentioned his dad. "So. . . um. . . your dad. . . " Alex really was curious. Ellis was his mother, but she was extremely career oriented. She loved all of her children, but was more interested in her career. Their older brother mostly raised them; Meredith and Alex just leaned on each other for everything they needed from family and it was ok with them.

"Yeah. . . he died eight years ago. He was Chief of Surgery in New York when he died. So, I know a thing or two about living up to expectations. . . Although you and Meredith may have it harder than I have it." He said sadly. 

"I had no idea. . . " Alex was really surprised that there was more to Derek Shepherd than what he had seen of him on the track. Up until last Friday, he assumed Derek was just a race car driver. . . He just had no idea. . . He couldn't believe he was actually relating to what Derek was going through. Maybe he wasn't a terrible guy afterall. . . as long as he stayed away from Meredith. . . she didn't need this right now.

"So, can we do this?" Derek asked with a serious look.

"Depends. . ." Alex said smirking.

"On what?" Derek said sensing he may not like the answer that was coming.

"You stay away from Meredith." Alex said seriously not taking his eyes off of Derek. He wanted to watch him and see how he reacted—it would make a difference on how Alex reacted.

"Um. . . what?" Derek choked out. There was no way he would or could agree to that. For one was the obvious. . .lab partners. . .for two. . . she is. . . Meredith. . . a woman he had to get to know. . . a woman who seemed perfect. . . a woman whose mouth fit perfectly together with his. . . they shared a kiss like no other kiss he had shared with a woman before.

Alex noticed the look in Derek's eyes and was kind of taken aback by it. It was as if Derek had no idea what to say because he didn't want to make the wrong move or say the wrong thing.

"Stay away from Meredith. She can't deal with anything right now other than school. She is just starting to. . . " Alex stopped. He knew Meredith would not want him to know anything yet. It wasn't terrible, but she really had come a long way the last months. Alex could see Derek's eyes turn to something of concern. _What the hell . . . he really cares about her. . . his eyes. . . he is concerned now. . . she isn't ready. . .not yet. . .but, he is Derek. . . Derek Shepherd . . . the man I race against and can't stand . . . but he really isn't that bad . . . he can never know that though. . . ASS . . . well, he isn't really, but I have to tell myself that. . . I have to hate him_.

Derek still didn't know what to say. "Well . . . um. . . that may be hard to do. . ." Before Derek could say anything else, Mark walked up. "Hey Shep, I am ready to go torture some first year med students." Mark stopped as he noticed Alex standing there.

"Well, I need to be going. I have to find Toots and Cris." Alex said.

"Toots?" Mark asked curiously.

"Oh. . . well, that is Mer's name—the name I call her—we have done it. . . um. . .for years. She has a name for me too." Alex couldn't believe he just said that. . .

"Oh yeah, I really have to hear what that is. . . " Mark said laughing.

"Well, it is stupid really. . . I am just going to go." Alex said.

"I will just ask Meredith in. . . " Mark started to say before Derek started coughing very loud.

"See ya Wednesday, Alex. Remember, he is the best and you will learn tons from him. Just work your ass off and he will actually give you some amazing recommendations."

"You must be in Dr. Lawrence's class. . . SHIT. . ." Mark said then realizing Derek was Alex's TA. . . This is bad. Now, he understands why they were talking. Then laughing says, "Well, Derek did suck some cock in order to be the best. Derek can help you with that. . . " Mark said laughing.

Alex just shook his head and laughing as he walked off. . . He wondered if they weren't such enemies on the track, if they could be good friends . . . hang out . . . have drinks. . . Mark was actually pretty funny and Derek . . . he wasn't really that bad . . . almost enjoyable. He wondered what this semester would bring. . .


	16. One Day at a Time

Cristina left to find Meredith sitting in the same exact spot they left her over an hour ago. "Mer, what in the hell is going on?" Cristina said loudly.

Meredith just sat there.

"Meredith. . . person. . .whoever the hell you are. . . snap out of it. . . "

"Oh. . .um. . . hey. . . what are you doing out of class? You have only been in class a few minutes. . . "

"Ok, what are you on and can I get some?"

"What. . . oh. . . don't tell me you have a professor who is going to be great and easy and let you guys out on time. . . you are lucky. . . I have Dr. Wright . . . he is kind of weird—but has a good reputation, well, a good reputation in the neuro world."

"Ok, so I couldn't even get your attention and now you are rambling. Something so happened this morning and I am putting my money on McDreamy."

Meredith shot her head around and looked at Cristina, "W. . what?" She mumbled out.

"So, I am right."

"No. . . no mcdreamy. . . no class together. . . no lab partners. . . no hot breath on my skin. . . no grazing of lips. . . no kissing. . . definitely no kissing. . . SHIT. . . "

"You are so fucked. I don't even know what all of that means, but just so we are clear. . . You have been sitting here on this damn bench since we left you over an hour ago to go to class. Now, when I find you, I can't get your attention, then you ramble, then you go about talking about no this and no that." Cristina said mockingly.

"I. . . um. . . may. . . have. . . um. . . kissed. . . not kissed. . . yes, kissed. . .amazing kiss. . . the most amazing ever. . . short. . . but great. . . then Mark. . . ass. . . "

"Threesome? When I thought you were boring, you rise." Cristina said laughing. She knew this wasn't it, but she had to get Meredith talking in complete thoughts.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Meredith asked in a complete thought shooting a glance a Cristina.

"Ok, now that I have your attention and talking in a complete thought . . . tell me . . . what the hell happened today with McDreamy?"

"What makes you so sure it has to do with him?" Meredith asked biting her bottom lip.

"Well, let's see. . . let me count the ways. . . one. . . you acted all weird when you saw us before our class. . . two. . . you were still sitting on the same bench not appearing to have moved the entire time. . . three. . . I couldn't get your attention. . four. . ." Cristina said just shaking her head.

"Ok, stop. . . I don't need anymore reasons. . . " Meredith said.

"Then tell me. I am your person" Cristina said.

"I can't. . . if I do. . . it will be a big deal and I can't let it be that."

"Ok, whatever it is. . . a big deal. . . "

"Yeah. . . "

They sat for a minute or so in silence.

"I kissed Derek. . .well, maybe he kissed me. . . or maybe we kissed each other. . . whatever. . . we kissed. . . it was. . . well. . . amazing. . .the most amazing kiss ever . . . perfect. . . " Meredith blurted out.

"Seriously." Cristina looked at Meredith. She knew something had happened, but this. . . this was big. . .

"Yeah"

"Was he good, he looks like he would be good?"

"Cristina . . . focus . . . yeah . . . very good actually . . ." Meredith couldn't help but smile when she thought of this.

"Oh my god, you are falling for him . . . you don't even know him really. . . "

"What? No. . . Not falling. . . No falling. . . "

"Whatever. . . "

"There is more. . . "

"You fucked him. . . "

"Cristina. . . " Meredith said giving her a go to hell look.

About that time, Alex walked up. "So, Meredith, you about ready for our next class? Did you eat? Wait, isn't this the same bench you were on when we left you?"

"So many questions. . . " Cristina said.

"Um. . . eat. . . let's go get something to eat before our next class." Meredith suggested quickly.

"Ok. . .but, Toots, you are acting very strange."

"Well, Speedo, you have been acting strange the last few weeks but I haven't questioned you."

Alex knew that was true . . . he just couldn't say anything yet. . .

Mark and Derek had 30 minutes to get some lunch and get to their next class. They had most of their classes together this year also; they did decide to take a class in their field of interest: neurosurgery and plastics.

"So, you are Alex's TA, how in the hell is that going to work?"

Derek still trying to process what all has happened in the last 2 hours: lab partners with Meredith, kissed Meredith, TA to Alex and someone who appeared to be her best friend, and Alex telling me to stay away from her. . . "I don't have a fucking clue." Derek said glaring at Mark.

"Hey man, I am not trying to piss you off. . . "

Derek let out a big sigh, "I know. . . " he said thinking.

"I saw a hot blonde this morning . . . she was lost, a first year I think. She was a little too bubbly, but hot as hell."

"Is that all you think about?"

"You should try it sometime; maybe it would help you not be so damn uptight and let your feelings get in the way. That is your problem."

"He told me to stay away from her."

Mark had no idea what to say. "Well, that is going to be pretty fucking hard. You are lab partners meaning you guys will be spending lots of time together—I bet he would shit if he knew what was going on today." He said smirking. They hadn't had much of a chance to talk about it yet. They went to their TA meeting together, but Derek had to get to Dr. Lawrence's office immediately following the meeting.

"He told me to stay away from her. That wasn't it though. He had a look in his eyes—a very strange look. Not one of hatred or even warning that he would kick my ass if I did touch her, but a look of concern. He started to say something and then stopped himself."

"That is why you should just fuck hot girls and move along . . . no feelings."

"I can't wait until you fuck some girl and actually have feelings for her."

"Never . . . can't do it. Plus, I don't think I would find a woman to tame me and put up with my shit."

"I don't know why I do."

"You need me for coolness points. If you didn't have me, you would be a dork."

"How is that? I am the one who drives the car."

"You think you are cool just because you drive the car?"

"Hell ya!"

"Well, keep telling yourself that."

Derek chuckled. They had this discussion at least once a week. He did appreciate Mark being there helping him lighten up some. He was pretty uptight most of the time—even on the track. He needed Mark although he would never admit it. As much of a smart ass as he was, Mark also spoke the truth and Derek needed that.

"So, what happens next?" Mark asked seriously.

"What do you mean?" Derek asked back knowing what he was talking about, but there were so many things going through his mind.

"Meredith . . . lab partner . . . Alex . . . TA . . . kiss."

"I have no idea. Just take it one day at a time. . . " That was all he could do. . .


	17. On a Break

**If you are not old enough to vote. . . you may not want to read below. . . that is all I am saying. . . **

Alex, Cristina, and Meredith woke up in time to get coffee and go to class. Their 2nd class on Monday went well. They had 3 of the 4 classes together. Two of them were on Monday/Wednesday with the other two being on Tuesday/Thursday. Meredith was thankful she didn't see Derek or Mark the rest of the day, but knew she would be seeing them tomorrow. She considered dropping the class, but decided she really needed to take it for many reasons—the main one was her mother. Well, she wanted to believe that was the main reason. . .

As they walked in their early morning class Tuesday morning, a tall blonde came up to them. "I noticed you three in class yesterday, I am Isobel Stevens, but everyone calls me Izzie." She said cheerfully.

"I am thankful to not have noticed you." Cristina replied back.

"Oh, don't mind her . . . she didn't take her medicine this morning. I am Alex and this is my sister Meredith." Alex said rolling his eyes at Cristina. Neither of them got much sleep last night . . .

"I don't think I noticed you in our lab class yesterday." Izzie said confusingly.

"Well, um. . . I. . . am not in the class " Meredith said nervously, she didn't want people to really know anything and she was trying to forget about that class for today.

"Well, that is too bad . . . we have a great professor. They say she is really great and we will learn tons from her. Oh. . . We should study together." Izzie said excitedly.

"I am so excited I think I just came." Cristina said sarcastically.

"Not in the last two hours." Alex said smirking until he realized what he just said. He looked over at Meredith and she wasn't paying attention thankfully but. . .

"Oh, do you two date or something?" Izzie questioned as Meredith looked up as she heard Izzie ask the question.

"Him, Evil Spawn, never. Why would you even say some crazy shit like that? I mean seriously." Cristina said nervously.

"Am I missing something?" Meredith asked.

"No, Toots." Alex said before whispering, "I think the blonde is delusional."

"Yeah, she is pretty . . . bubbly; but she seems really nice." Meredith whispered back.

"Well, it was really great to meet you guys. Why don't we go get some seats?" Izzie suggested.

"That sounds great!" Meredith suggested while Cristina and Alex shot her death glares.

They had a few hours until their next class. Meredith decided she wanted to stay on campus and do some research in the library.

"So, the blonde chick is annoying as hell." Alex told Cristina as they drove to the condo.

"She was probably a model—no business being in med school. She probably fucked her way in."

"Can't you just be normal once in a while?"

"I wasn't normal last night when I gave you 3 orgasms?"

"Oh, very normal . . . In fact, I think we need a repeat . . . we won't even have to be quiet."

"I will make you beg for it." Cristina said smirking.

"Oh yeah, you think so huh . . . you want to make this a challenge?"

"I will win . . . I always win."

"No way, darling."

"Did you just call me darling?" Cristina said as she grabbed his crotch realizing he was already hard.

"Oh, fuck, you can't do that . . . we are almost home."

"Well, I told you I always win." As she ran her hand over his hard cock.

"Shit. . . I don't want to . . . damn it . . . wreck . . . before we get home . . . " Alex barely was able to get out.

"Ok" Cristina took her hand away and sat back in her seat.

"Don't fucking stop there." Alex yelled as his cock was throbbing.

"I win!" Cristina said as she unzipped his pants to free him.

"Fuck, Cris. . . " He could barely breath.

She took his balls and gave them a tight squeeze before running her thumb along the tip of his cock. His hips bucked up from the sensation.

"Don't. . . stop. . . you are going to make me cum."

Cristina decided to give him the best hand job ever. . . She made a circle with her pointer finger and thumb and twisted both hands up and down his shaft rotating in opposite directions.

"What the fuck. . . HOLY SHIT . . . you are. . . FUCK. . . " Alex yelled. He was ready to explode in her hands.

Cristina continued rotating her hands up and down his shaft. She then started at the base of his cock and pumped her hands up.

"I. . . am . . . fucking . . .FUCK. . . amazing. . . " Alex could barely breath as he was cuming; he was trying very hard to just stay between the lines of the road.

"I told you I would win." Cristina said smirking as they pulled up to the condo.

"I am glad you did. You need your prize." He said barely making it into the condo before he took her and kissed her hard making her moan loudly in his mouth. He started working his way down her body as they shed clothing as fast as they could. His fingers found her throbbing clit ready and waiting.

"Shit, you are fucking wet." He breathed in her ear.

"What the fuck did you expect. . . " She barely got out.

His fingers continued to fuck her as his thumb rubbed her clit. He then took picked her up and took her to the kitchen table. She could feel he was ready again.

"I need your fucking cock in me now." Cristina demanded.

"I like it when you are demanding." He said putting her face down. He then slipped into her from behind with both of them yelling out. They weren't able to be loud—ever. They had learned how to be quiet although a few times things had gotten way out of hand.

"Harder. . . Oh fuck" Cristina yelled as he took her nipple and gave it a squeeze with his other hand digging into her hip.

"You are so fucking tight and wet." Alex moaned with Cristina pushing her ass back into him as much as she could.

"ALEX. . . Fuck. . . You are FUCKING AMAZING!" She said the second his hand that was on her nipple was now on her clit. That was all it took to send both of them over the edge.

As they caught their breath, Cristina spoke up, "that may have been the best ever."

"Every time with me is the best." Alex said.

"Don't get the big head."

"I thought you said I had a big head." He said laughing.

"You are such a fucking man!"

"The last I checked, you didn't mind."

"No, as long as you remember it is only mine. I will cut it off if that thing goes anywhere else."

"Yes, so you have already warned." Alex said. He was surprised a few nights ago when she talked about them only fucking each other. They both realized it was more than that, but for now, it was a big step—a huge step for both of them. They didn't do relationships, so they needed it to just be this for now. They also didn't know how long it would be before Meredith found out. They weren't really too worried about her reaction, but with everything, they just didn't want to push anything just yet.

"We have at least another hour before we have to be back, any ideas?" Alex said raising his eyebrows.

"More than you know. . . "Cristina said laughing at him before leading him to her room for the first time.

**So. . . I hope you liked this ok. . . I really don't know what I was thinking when I actually wrote this as I wrote about a month ago and almost didn't post it over here - or re-worked the update. . . but, it is posted as originally written. . . Hope you enjoy. . . there are some other great sussy scenes coming. . . but between other characters. . . hmmmm**


	18. Bring Your Appetite

Meredith got to the library and went straight to the 3rd floor where all of the medical students did their studying because their resource books were housed on this floor. She had about an hour before she agreed to meet Izzie for lunch.

"Well, if it isn't the liar, Meredith."

She shot a look up at Mark, "I am not a liar." She said angry.

"Oh, you are feisty to. I will definitely have to tell Derek." He said laughing.

"You will tell Derek nothing. Why would you even talk about me?" She asked innocently.

"Come on Grey, you have to know he is. . . " Mark stopped before he said anything else. Derek would probably kill him for saying anything or for even talking to her.

"Know he is what . . . " Meredith said nervously.

"So, do you go around kissing all of your lab partners?" Mark said sitting down at the table with Meredith trying to divert the conversation.

"Did I ask you to sit down and we did not, I mean . . . well, we didn't . . . nothing . . . it was nothing."

"Do you always ramble when you lie, see, I was right." Mark said smugly.

"You are an ass!" Meredith said annoyed.

"You forgot something in that?"

"No, I don't think I did!" Meredith said confidently.

"You forgot cute ass, I am a cute ass."

Meredith rolled her eyes, "I guess you really are full of yourself."

"That is what I am told, but I like to think of it as having high self esteem."

This caused Meredith to let out a small giggle. "You really are an ass!"

"Yes, but I seem to be an ass that people can't live without!"

"Let me be the first."

"Yeah, right, being with Shep, you will be with me also. We are a package deal."

She laughed, "So, you are into boy on boy?"

"What the fuck, Grey. . . "

"Hey, you are the one who said you were a package deal. I was just wondering how two big heads could be in the room at the same time." She winced when she realized what she just said and how she opened herself up. . .

"You have no idea. So, you want to see both heads in a room together?"

"There is only one head I want to see." She said nonchalantly, not even thinking when she said it. The second she realized what she said, she looked up wide-eyed at Mark. [I Fuck. . . I can't believe I just said that. . .to Mark, Derek's best friend. . . SHIT . . . this is really bad—I really don't want to see it. . . I am not ready . . . not at all. . . I just. . . SHIT . . . after that kiss . . . the most amazing. . . BAD . . . it wasn't anything, although it was everything. . . [/I

"So, the truth comes out." Mark said with a very curious look on his face. He realized she felt the same way his brother did.

"Um . . . no. . . I mean. . . I . . . no. . . I meant . . . shit. . . I can't . . . not ready . . . for sure not ready . . . and busy. . . I am a very busy person. . . " Meredith rambled.

"The rambling—really cute—annoying but cute. I would love to stay and chat longer but I need to get going. I have to meet with a professor." As he turned to leave, he wanted to say one last thing. . .

"Meredith, look, I know there are lots of things with you and Derek—complications and lots of shit . . . obstacles . . . but, Meredith, I have known him all of my life and he has been a different person the last few weeks—a person I think is stupid, but nevertheless, different. Don't let all of the shit get in the way. I don't know you well, but you deserve all of the happiness in the world as does my brother and I think you two could give it to each other." Mark couldn't believe any of this just came out of his mouth, so to end he had to add, "Just fuck him and get it over with."

Meredith stood speechless watching him walk off whistling and grinning.

Meredith had no idea what to think about her conversation with Mark. She was so deep in thought as she turned the corner.

"Oh. . .um. . sorry. . . I wasn't paying attention." Meredith said looking up at the most beautiful pair of blue eyes she has ever seen.

"Hello" He said giving her his best McDreamy smile.

The smile went right through her skin and sent shivers up her spine. "Um. . . Hey" She managed to get out.

"So, you don't have class right now?"

"No, I had class this morning and I am meeting someone for lunch before my next class."

Derek's smile dropped which Meredith realized this and quickly added, "Oh, I am meeting, Izzie, one of my classmates I meet this morning. She was in my class yesterday afternoon, but didn't talk to her until this morning. I think she is in Alex and Cristina's lab class also. I am rambling. . . "

"You are rambling." He gave her that look again while being mesmerized by her—everything about her.

They just starred at each other for a few seconds before he cleared his throat. "Did you say she is in Alex's lab class?"

"Um, yes. . . "

"Oh" Derek realized very quickly that Meredith must not know she his TA. He wasn't sure if he should say something.

"Yeah, Alex said the professor is a real ass."

"He isn't that bad. Alex will just have to. . . "

"WHAT. . . What the hell will he have to do?" Meredith asked angrily.

"Look, I am assuming he didn't tell you, so I will." He took a deep breath, "I am the TA for that class."

"You, what. . . seriously. . . Ass. . . he nor Cristina said anything to me. . . you are his TA. . . "

Derek didn't know what to say. He was surprised she hadn't hear this yet and wasn't sure if he should have said something. "Dr. Lawrence is a great professor and he will really test Alex. He was kind of an ass to Alex though but he expects more out of him because of who your mom is."

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, let's just say he will not give him an inch, he will make him work for every point he gets. He did it with me and would do it with you if you were in his class."

"Why would he have done it with you?"

"Oh. . . um. . . well, my dad. . . he was. . . he was a surgeon. . . "

"Ok, so lots of parents of students in med school are surgeon's—is he hard on all of them?"

"Lots of people knew him . . . he was the chief of surgery before he died. Dr. Lawrence knew him."

"I didn't. . . I mean, I am sorry."

"You and Alex have it much worse. I mean, Ellis Grey is someone you read about, talk about, and study her methods. That is much worse."

"Yeah . . . she is pretty great." She said in a very hushed voice.

"I would kill to have her as a mother, you probably learned so much from her. I know my dad always talked to me about being a surgeon." He stopped when he saw Meredith face drop a little more.

"She was very driven." Meredith said forcing a smile.

Derek picked up there was more to the story but didn't think now was the time to pry further.

"So . . . lab partners . . . who kissed." He said smiling nervously.

"I knew that would come up."

"Is it going to happen again? If it is, I need to bring breath mints, put a condom in my wallet." Giving her a smile.

"Oh . . . um . . . no. . . I don't know . . . yes. . . NO. . . "

This made Derek laugh. "Yes . . . no. . . Maybe?" He replied laughing but quickly stopped and looked at her with lust in his eyes as their eyes locked.

Her eyes had the same look in them.

As their lips were centimeters apart, she breathed, "Public . . . we are out in public." She got that out, but her lips keep moving closer to his and she could feel his breath on her lips.

"Yes, we are . . . maybe we should . . . stop." Derek huskily replied.

"We can't . . . not here. . . " Meredith said reluctantly pulling back, breathing heavy.

"I know." Derek said just as out of breath as she was.

"I need to . . . go."

"Meredith, wait. . ."

"What?"

"I want to get to know you. We are lab partners and we are going to have to work together."

"Yeah, I have been thinking about that."

Derek looked intently at her to see what she was thinking and he could see many emotions in there. "Um . . . can we have dinner . . . maybe study over dinner . . . you know . . . a study thing . . . "

"I guess we need to have a study thing . . . dinner or whatever . . . a study thing though . . . and that is it . . . well, maybe we could talk to . . . but that is it . . .I can't have more right now . . . not yet . . . "

Derek noticed something in her eyes, like there was more to her than what meets the eye, but right now, he didn't care. She was agreeing to dinner or a study thingy as she said. She was truly amazing and really cute when she is rambling which she is doing right now.

"Are you busy tonight? We could get an early start for our class in the morning."

"Tonight? I was thinking . . . well, I suppose . . . but, no one can know. I mean. . . Alex can't find out right now. I didn't tell him about us being lab partners and you are his TA and . . . he has been there for me through everything."

"I understand. I think he will come around when. . . " Derek stopped himself as he almost said it. He did want . . . something with her . . . something big with her. But, she wasn't ready for any of that right now and as hard as it was, he needed to just get to know her. "He will come around. I am a good guy."

"Ok. . . " She looked at him a smiled.

"Ok. . . so tonight. . . "

"Yeah. . . tonight."

"What do you want for dinner?"

"We could just study. I could eat before I come."

"I am going to cook. I am a good cook."

"You and Mark—you both think a lot of yourself. . . " She noticed Derek look at her strange. "Oh, I saw him at the library earlier and he is really full of himself." She tensed up hoping he didn't tell Derek what she said.

Derek wondered what they had talked about. "I will cook us a nice dinner and we will study as we eat." Derek wrote down his address and gave to Meredith.

"See ya around 6."

"See ya then, bring your appetite." They both walked off smiling wondering how much studying they would actually get done.

-------------------------

Meredith almost forgot she had agreed to meet Izzie for lunch. She thought Izzie was ok—a little perky, but Meredith could use perky sometimes.

"I am so glad you could make it, I was wondering if you were still coming." Izzie said the second she saw Meredith.

"Yeah . . . sorry about that. . . I was . . . well. . . I got held up." She said while thinking about her impending study date. No, it isn't a date, just lab partners getting together to study.

"Are you ok?" Izzie asked noticing Meredith starring off in space.

It took a few seconds to register, "Oh, um . . . yeah. . . I am fine . . . great even . . . well, not in an ok way . . . a big—scary way . . . can't happen . . . no, I have to cancel. . . I am fine though. . . I am now rambling and I wish someone would just tell me to shut up."

"Oh, well, I am sure whatever it is will be fine. Do you need to talk?"

"No, let's just eat and get to class." Meredith said with a smile. It was nice of this person she just met to ask if she needed to talk and not say something smart ass like Cristina would.

They had a nice lunch and quickly got to class. "It was nice you could make it." Meredith said curiously to Alex and Cristina as they walked in right before the professor did.

"Yeah, well, jack ass here couldn't eat fast enough." Cristina said trying to be serious.

"Next time, I will just not eat at all." Alex replied back smirking.

"You need to eat. Especially with our schedule and the amounts of time we have to spend studying. We should eat when we can." Izzie said cheerfully.

As Izzie said this in walks the professor, a small, plumpish black woman and the TA whom Alex, Cristina, and Meredith recognized immediately.

"You have got to be kidding me." Alex spoke up under his breath.

"Do you guys know him?" Izzie whispered.

"You, blonde hair model girl, is there something you would like to say to the class?" Dr. Bailey asked.

"Um . . . no. . . Ma'am . . . sorry." Izzie quickly responded.

"Good, then shut up and listen! This is Mark Sloan, my TA for the semester. I am not sure why they put this fool with me, but apparently they did."

"You know you love me!" Mark said loud enough for her to hear him with a smirk on his face.

"You're so damn stupid." She replied back to him in a hushed tone.

"You are first year medical students, nobodies, bottom of the medical world. It is my job to make sure you are all the best. I will challenge you, make you hate me, maybe even cry, but in the end . . . you will be the best because of it. Are we clear?" She says clearly. She really was the best and everyone knew it. She came off as being very tough, but she really cared for her students and challenged them in ways that most professors couldn't.

The rest of class went well; no one said a word and listened intently on every word she said.

"So, is anyone up for a quick drink at The Temple before we start studying?" Izzie said cheerfully.

"Are you always this happy and do you always try this hard?" Cristina shot back.

"Oh. . . I was just trying . . . well, we are all in this together and I don't know anyone and I just thought. . . " Izzie said sadly.

"Don't worry about her; she is an uptight bitch who just needs to get laid." Alex said smugly.

Cristina shot him a look. "Oh, don't worry about that, I can find anyone to help me out."

Meredith looked at her brother and person like they were nuts. They have been acting so strange. She decided to break this up. "Izzie, I would really love to go have drinks. . . "

Before Meredith could say anything else, Izzie excitedly said, "Oh great. . . I can meet you at 6."

"Well, actually. . . I am not able to. . . Maybe we can go another night." Meredith said nervously.

"Ok then, maybe tomorrow night." Izzie said hopeful.

"Yeah, sounds great." Meredith said happily.

"See you guys in the morning. We will miss you Meredith." Izzie said as she walked off.

"I can't believe you would agree to go anywhere with that blonde bimbo." Cristina said.

"Cristina, she seems nice and we will be in classes with her the next few years. We should get to know her." Meredith said.

"So, you are busy tonight?" Alex asked curiously. He heard the nervousness in her voice when she said she was not able to go with Izzie.

"Oh . . . yes. . . I have to study. . . I may just go to the library. . .you know . . . the lab class . . . yeah . . . the lab class. . . Dr. Wright gave us quite a bit of reading. He is kind of strange, but I think he will be a good teacher . . . yes, a good teacher . . ."

"You are rambling." Alex said quickly wondering why she was acting so weird about this.

"No. . . I am not . . . definitely not. . . Shit. . . " Meredith said sighing.

"You so are." Cristina said looking at Meredith. She knew there was something she wasn't saying. Both of them did, but both decided to leave it alone.

"Let's just get home so I can. . . " Meredith stopped herself before she said anything else. It was just a study thingy . . . nothing more than that. Everyone had to eat, right? They also needed to study. . .That was it. . .they would eat and study. . .


	19. Dinner and Study:  Is that all?

Meredith had about 45 minutes before she needed to leave to go to Derek's to study. . . just study. . .

"Come in" Meredith said hearing the knock on her door.

"Did you take a shower?" Cristina asked.

"No, my hair is just wet because I stood out in the rain." Meredith said sarcastically.

"No need to be a smart ass; that is my job. So, where are you really going?"

"Oh . . . um. . . I told you. . . I am going to study."

"Ok, that right there . . . tells me you are not going to study and what is with the clothes all over the bed?"

"I don't know. . . I want to. . . I just should wear. . . Shit. . ." Meredith said reminding herself this is just a study thingy or whatever with dinner; they had to eat or they would be hungry.

"Spill it. I am your person or whatever."

Meredith sat for a minute biting her bottom lip before quickly saying, "IamLabPartnersWithDerekShepherd."

"You are so fucked. Well, actually, you will be getting fucked. . . I bet he is good."

"Did you just hear me, I said lab partner. . . I am lab partners with Derek . . . the man my brother hates. . . I do too, I mean . . . I don't . . . but he is my brother's competitor . . . and I am not ready . . . but the kiss. . . SHIT. . . "

"YOU KISSED HIM AND DIDN'T FUCKING TELL ME?"

"Shhhhhh. . . Keep your damn voice down. This isn't something I need Alex knowing right now. He CAN'T know. . ."

"Don't worry, he has his own. . . " Cristina almost said secrets. . . Sometimes being a smart ass is bad.

Meredith thought this was a strange comment and the way she just stopped, but she had bigger things to worry about at this moment in time.

"So, what do I do?"

"Fuck him!"

"Cristina, I haven't . . . not in months. . . not since. . . "

"Meredith, you are fine . . . all things happen for reasons and you are not to blame for any of it and you know it. You are ready and you know you are." This was the one time Cristina was serious. She was a smart ass most of the time, but the rest of this conversation needed to be serious and she knew it.

"Yeah, I think I am. I haven't been this happy in months. I just wish Alex could see it. . . "

"I actually think he does, but knows you have a long road ahead of you. He would never admit it though. I think he is trying to protect you. You know Derek is our TA, right?"

"He told me when I bumped into him today." Meredith said sadly. She wasn't sure if this was good or bad.

"So . . . you are studying with McDreamy tonight?"

"Yes . . . studying . . . that is it . . . no kissing. . . "

"Keep telling yourself that."

"I can do it. . . I really can . . . just studying . . . and dinner."

"What, dinner too?" Cristina asked raising an eyebrow.

"We have to eat. . . I will starve—you know that. But, that is it . . . studying and eating. . . "

"Keep telling yourself that, you are so screwed."

Meredith let out a sigh, "I know." She couldn't believe she admitted this out loud, but she just didn't know what

"So, what are you wearing to this 'study and eat' thingy that will turn into so much more."

"I don't know and no. . . nothing more. . . "

"Keep telling yourself that."

"I don't know why I am even friends with you."

"You love me and couldn't live without me."

"That is debatable and I think I am wearing this outfit tonight"

"That is quite a study outfit" Cristina said laughing, "Alex is going to wonder why you are wearing that to study in."

"Shit . . . you have to distract him."

"That shouldn't be a problem."

Meredith finished getting dressed, fixed her hair, and put on very light make up. She didn't want to overdo it—it was just studying and dinner . . . so it didn't really matter.

"How do I look?" Meredith asked Cristina.

"Like you want a good fuck."

"You are a bitch sometimes." Meredith said rolling her eyes.

"You love me . . . but, you look great. He is really going to fuck you in that outfit. . . "

"Maybe I should change. . . "

"No, you look great, perfect. I will go down and distract your brother. He would shit if he knew about any of this."

"And you aren't telling him anything." Meredith added.

"No, I won't." Cristina wasn't sure what was up between her and Alex—she has never had a someone. . Boy thingy . . . she couldn't use the traditional term. She may be a bitch sometimes, but this wasn't something she would tell Alex. She was a little nervous though of how Alex would take the news especially if he finds out she knew the whole time. It was something they would just have to face if it came up. She also wanted some hot sex tonight while they had the condo to themselves.

"I won't be too late."

"Yeah, right. . . Wait. . . " Cristina said before Meredith walked out of the room.

"What?"

"Don't forget your books that are on your bed. Also, I need to go down and run interference for you." Cristina said laughing!

"I hate you!"

"You love me . . . don't do anything I wouldn't do. . ." Cristina said laughing.

"Studying and eating . . . that is it!" Meredith said wishing she could believe it was only that!

**-----------**

Mark could smell something good cooking as he approached his and Derek's apartment.

"Hello, Honey, I am home." Mark said laughing as he walked in the front door.

"I thought you were staying at school for a while tonight." This was not in the plan. Derek asked Mark if he had plans and he told Derek he was either going to stay at the library or go to The Temple.

"Change of plans. I am meeting someone at 8 at The Temple, some first year. Plus, dinner smells wonderful – grilling steaks I see. Wait . . . you asked me if I was coming home tonight and I said no. . . SHIT SHEP. .. You have plans tonight. . ." Mark said grinning.

"Well, no. . . Just . . . study . . . study plans."

"Is she hot?"

"She is the most amazing thing I have ever seen."

"Shit, Meredith is coming over."

"How did you. . . I mean . . . how did you know?"

"You got that stupid ass grin on your face. . . "

Derek thought for a second, "Yeah. . . I do get that grin don't I?"

"Pretty stupid if you ask me."

"Shut up, one day . . . you may find that one. . ." Derek stopped himself from saying anything more as he knew he wouldn't hear the end of it.

"Shit man, you are fucked . . . well, maybe you aren't totally."

"What?" Derek stopped chopping onions to turn and face Mark.

"That girl so wants to fuck you and it is about time you have sex." Mark said laughing.

"What? It is more than that!"

"She totally wants you. I am not sure why, but she does."

"She talked to you about me? I mean. . . she told me she saw you. . . "

"Wait, you talked to her after I saw her at the library? So, you must know I am her TA."

"You are what? She is in Bailey's class? Well, she will really learn tons, but she will be studying a lot."

"Don't worry, I will help her." Mark said knowing this would cause a reaction out of Derek.

"YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER!" Derek demanded.

"Don't worry Shep, she only has eyes for one head." He said laughing.

"You are an ass."

"She is the one that said it."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Derek asked.

"Like I said, she only wants you."

"No, she doesn't want me, we can't . . . we have to stay focused . . . and most importantly. . .Alex"

"Don't worry about Alex."

"They are twins and he told me to stay away from her."

"You aren't going to though – she is coming over here tonight. You are cooking her dinner and knowing you, you have an incredible desert planned. . . "

"The only desert I have planned is a chocolate soufflé."

"Whatever you say, Shep." Mark said as the doorbell rang.

"Shit, she is here and you are still here. You are leaving. . . "

"I thought this was just a study thing." He said raising an eyebrow.

"It is. . . will you get the door?"

"Condoms are in the first drawer in the kitchen and I will put some in your bedside table before I leave."

"Not going to need them. . . "

"No glove, no love – just remember that." Mark said as he opened the door.

"Meredith, how nice to see you again. . . Come on in. Shep had his hands full cooking this dinner for you."

"Oh, well . . . it is really just to study . . . he shouldn't have. . . I mean . . . just study and eat . . . we have to eat. . ." She said nervously as she entered the apartment. She was immediately impressed with how great the place looks.

"Yeah, I bet dinner isn't all you will be eating. . . " Mark said smirking as Derek came into the room but stopped at the sight of her. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. He knew he had to say something, but right now, the words just wouldn't come. . .

"Maybe I should stay or I say you two will jump each other the minute I walk out." Mark said feeling the electricity in the room between the two.

Derek shot Mark a look that told him to get the hell out.

"You . . . don't have to. . . I mean. . . Derek and I will just be studying . . . and it smells like we will be eating dinner . . . but that is it . . . yes . . . studying. . . I even brought my books . . . and I am rambling. I wish someone would just tell me to shut up." Meredith said.

"I have a date . . . a very hot one . . . before I leave I have to take care of something—Make sure there are gloves put away in Derek's room." Mark said smirking at Derek as he went back towards the bedrooms.

"So, Meredith, are you hungry?" Derek asked trying to change topics. He was getting hungry wishing it was only for food. . .

"Oh . . . um . . . yes. You smell. . . I mean. . it smells delicious." She said nervously.

Derek just stared at her. _Damn, she is just amazing. Those jeans . . . her ass in them . . . focus Derek. . . Study and that is it. . .Alex . . . remember him . . . stay away from her . . . but, there is no way . . . she is perfect and smart . . . and. . . Damn it.. . This was a bad idea . . . maybe Mark should stay here . . . study and eat . . . eat . . . she looks like she would be so fucking good . . . eat food. . .steak . . . that is it._ Derek was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard a timer go off in the kitchen. "I have to go and check on that. . . Why don't you have a seat and I will be right back with some drinks. Wine ok?" He said to Meredith as he flashed her that McDreamy smile.

"I thought . . . um . . . study . . . we are only studying. Not sure . . . where does wine fit in with studying?" She asked with a confused look on her face.

"Meredith, we are having dinner also and we definitely need wine with dinner. Steak and wine . . . kind of go together." He said smiling wondering why she had to look so damn cute with that mystified look on her face.

"Steak . . . you are cooking steak? You didn't. . .I mean we could have just ordered pizza or something . . . you know. . .study food."

The timer went off again reminding Derek of the task at hand. "I will be right back. . . Have a seat."

"I will just get my books out and. . . Um . . . start getting my stuff out. . . "

"Yes, books . . . we need those to study!" He said as he was heading to the kitchen.

Meredith sat looking around the living room. The apartment was well decorated for two men, but she figured he made some of his money from racing and the rest came from his dad being a doctor – not just a doctor but chief of surgery at a hospital. They probably had money like the Grey's had money. She pulled out the books she needed as Mark walked back in the living room before he left.

"So, you really are putting on a good act here. You really think you will be studying tonight? All you will be studying is Derek's anatomy."

"No. . . No studying anyone's anatomy . . . studying for class . . . something you should also be doing . . . and eating dinner . . . that is it."

"Don't worry, I will be studying tonight, a true study of anatomy – you should try it sometimes. Do you always dress like that to study? If so, I think I need to find a new group to study with." He says with a smirk.

Meredith had no idea what to say and was relieved she didn't have to say anything.

"Here ya go. . . I hope you like a good red wine with steak." Derek said smiling at Meredith. He couldn't believe she was sitting here in his apartment in that outfit. . .just to study. . . He couldn't take his mind off of the way her breasts fit perfectly in the shirt with the right amount of cleavage showing. It was enough to make his jeans tight.

Meredith takes a sip and couldn't believe how good the wine was. "This is excellent, what kind of wine is this?"

"It is an Australian red wine." Derek replied.

"Shit, Shep, you went all out . . . that bottle is almost $300.00. I can't believe you. You must really want a good. . . " Mark was quickly interrupted by Derek. He couldn't believe that Derek would actually open that bottle of wine. They went to Australia a year ago when they finished their pre-med program and brought back a few bottles.

"Mark, don't you have someone to meet soon?" Derek said really needing him to leave and not say anything else. He couldn't believe he had just said how much the wine was and almost said something much worse than that.

"Yeah, I guess I should get going. Don't want to jeopardize the good fuck I will have tonight."

Meredith just rolled her eyes, "Is that really all you think and talk about?"

"Is that all you and I have talked about?" Mark responded quickly.

"NO! We haven't . . . never have we talked about anything remotely having to do with sex or heads or anything. . ." She said nervously.

"Then you have your answer. You kids have fun tonight and do everything I would do!" Mark said laughing as he walked out the door before turning around to say, "Oh yeah, Shep you are all prepared."

"I really am sorry for him. I don't know why I keep him around, but he is my brother."

"Oh, I didn't realize you were brothers."

"Well, we aren't blood, but my mom raised him along with my 4 sisters."

"Wow, you have a big family. . . " She said nervously although she wasn't sure why this would make her nervous. She met one of the sisters at one of the races and she seemed ok from what she could tell.

"Yeah, I do. They are great. Well, mostly all of them are great. Mark—I still wonder about him and how great he is. . . " He said laughing. This was the first time they had talked about anything personal and this made him very happy.

"So, maybe we should study while dinner is cooking?" Meredith suggested quickly. She didn't want to talk about anything personal . . . study. . .eat. . .study. . . then go home. She kept saying this to herself as if it was a chant.

"Wow, that meal was wonderful. I don't think I have had a steak like that in a long time."

Derek just sat there mesmerized by her. She wasn't like any other girl he had ever dated—not that he was dating her . . . definitely not dating her. She wasn't afraid to eat. Most girls would barely eat anything but not Meredith and this made him like her that much more. She ate her whole steak, potato, and salad. He really laughed at her when she said she preferred to skip the salad . . . too healthy for her.

"You sure ate enough of it. Do you want more?"

Meredith looked down at her plate. She couldn't believe she had eaten it all. She didn't get many home-cooked meals. No one in her house cooked even though they attempted to. Meredith came very close more than once of burning the apartment down that Meredith and Cristina shared in college. Cristina was a little better. Well, just the fact she didn't almost burn the place down from boiling spaghetti would make her better. "I guess I did eat it all up. I can't believe it. I must say I don't get any home cooked meals. I so can't cook—I would burn the place down. Is there a clean plate reward?" She said giggling.

_She has to stop that damn giggling. It is just so damn sexy. The way her smile makes her face glow. I have to calm down . . . we are studying. . . I also want to get to know her . . . all of her . . . Good she is amazing. Concentrate Derek – we are here to study. You need to clean up and get to studying and that is it_ "I doubt you are that bad of a cook. As far as a clean plate award, there is a chocolate soufflé. I hope you like it. My sister suggested it."

"Chocolate. . . Derek . . . you will need to learn if we are going to. . . _Shit. . . SHUT UP MER. . . you almost said if we are going to date. . . STUPID . . . study . . . that is it. . . I am not ready . . . or am I? It has been long enough and I don't even think about it much. Alex . . . he would never allow it . . . what was worst is he said his sister suggested it which means he must have told them about me coming over. Studying . . . we are just studying. . _. "Um . . . study. . . I like chocolate . . . anything with chocolate . . . good . . . really good. Maybe we should get to studying though and then take a break to eat each. . . DESERT." She said nervously looking up as it almost came out as something completely different.

At that second, their eyes locked for what seemed like an eternity and each could see the intense passion deep within. Without even realizing it, their lips were close enough together to feel each others breath which was getting heavier by the second.

"Study" Meredith said breathily.

"Study" Derek said in the same way.

They both went the last few centimeters for their lips to meet softly. The kiss quickly became one of want—desire. They both had been feeling this all night and both had reasons to make sure this didn't happen, but it felt so damn right. The kiss deepened and their tongues danced around each other. Meredith reached her hands up and ran them through his hair. Derek brought his hands up to her face as he kissed her with more passion he has ever kissed another woman.

"Mer" Derek moaned causing Meredith to quickly back off. As she did this, their eyes met again with the same want—desire in them.

"Derek, study . . . we need to study . . . class . . . in the morning . . ." Meredith said out of breath.

"Yeah . . . we do. . . " He was not sure where this left them. All he knew was it was the most perfect kiss in the world—never has a kiss felt like that. He knew at that second he was done . . . she was it. Now, he just needed to figure out a way to make this work.


	20. The Perfect Man

**Ok - I want to start by saying that the updates will not always be this long, in fact, once this all gets posted here from the board. . . the updates will be what I do on the boards. . . unless you guys would prefer to wait until a scene is over. . . For example, this scene is about 4 updates. . . I do post updates every day unless something crazy happens (like I am sick. . . so, yesterday, there wasn't one, but today there was one. . . ) So, I just wanted to let you know. . . Oh and if you want to read this fic ahead of where it is on here. . . I have it posted over on the On Call Room. . . And there are pictures of all of the characters and the apartment and the condo and basically lots of things - Dr. Wright and Dr. Lawrence. . . and future characters. . . So. . . just wanted to let you know. I am trying to figure out how to post the link to the OnCall Room in my profile - it isn't there yet, but I know Mrs.McDreamy has it in her profile. . . and she is listed in my favorite authors. . . Ok - I am rambling and I blame the cold medicine. I hope you like this update - it was a hard one to write. . . **

Derek and Meredith were able to study for about an hour before Meredith suggested they had some of the chocolate soufflé. Meredith stayed in the living room studying as Derek went and put the finishing touches on it to serve it.

"Wow, this looks delicious." Meredith said as she liked her lips.

"I have been making this for years. It is one of my mom's specialties and I thought I would make it for you tonight. Mark about died when I decided to make it. He loves it." Derek said as he knew he had just said too much when he saw her smile fall a bit, but he didn't care at this point. He wanted her to know she is special and this is a big deal that he made this for her. He had a feeling she wasn't used to this from people—especially men.

Derek watched as she took her first bit. He watched her close her eyes and put the spoon into her mouth and pull it out very slowly almost seductively. That is when he heard a small moan come from her mouth and at that exact moment, he could feel himself stiffen at the sight. Meredith realized what she just did and nervously opened her eyes and said, "Wow, Derek, this is amazing . . . almost as good as. . . " She stopped before she said it because truthfully nothing could be better than sex. She also figured sex with him was the best ever. After the kiss they shared, she couldn't even imagine what was to come—if anything would come because she couldn't do this . . . too much stuff for them to work out.

"Yes, it is good." He said watching her closely.

She took a few more bites before noticing he didn't have any. "Why aren't you partaking in this amazing desert?"

"Oh. . . I thought it would be nice to cook a desert for you." He sighed before continuing, "I don't eat much desert."

"Why? You are missing out . . . "

"I am?" He asked questioningly.

"Definitely, this is amazing. Why don't you eat much desert?"

"You are going to laugh at me. . . "

"Probably so, but you have to tell me." She said giggling.

There it was again, that damn giggle. Just as quick as he started to relax, he started to stiffen once again. "It. . .It isn't . . . very healthy—you know . . . full of fat."

"You have to be kidding . . . you are in med school – we eat unhealthy things." She said laughing.

"Correction—you seem to eat unhealthy things." He said also laughing. He loved talking to her like this—he knew he wanted more of this: sitting, talking, laughing, eating desert, and most of all just hanging out spending time together. He did want more . . . he knew sex would her would be wonderful especially after the kiss they shared. He wanted to badly, but knew this was something big and wanted to do it right. He also had a nagging feeling there was more to Meredith than he knew. Just the way Alex was overprotective of her. He was very protective of his sisters, but not in the same way as Alex. He did know sometimes twins had a connection unlike regular siblings and knew Meredith and Alex were one of those twins; however, in their conversation, he sensed there was a good reason why he was so protective of her. The chat Alex had with Derek was actually ok and for the first time felt like Alex didn't hate him. Because of that, he was shocked when Alex told him to stay away from Meredith. But, he did it with a surprising look in his eyes—not one of hatred, but one of concern.

"Yeah, I do, but it is good." She said slowly pulling the spoon out of her mouth very slow.

"So, we should make sure we are well prepared tomorrow. It is hard when you have a new professor—unsure of what to expect. His reputation is amazing as a neurosurgeon. I am surprised he is teaching this lab class." Derek said as Meredith was finishing up her desert.

"He is a little weird, but I agree, he seems to really know his stuff."

"So, I haven't actually even asked you how you are in a class for 2nd year students." He said smiling at her.

"Oh . . . well, my mom thought it would be a good idea. She never told me this, but I think she didn't believe I would make it in medical school even though I graduated #1 in my class in high school and college. Guess that wasn't good enough for her. But, they allowed me to take the lab class this summer. They allow a few students to do it." She didn't like talking about her mom much. Her mom was an ok mom, just really career oriented. She also thought Meredith was unfocused, but she had no idea what she had gone through the last year. . .

"How did you do in the class?" He asked genuinely wanting to find out all he could about her.

"Why? Do you want to know if I am competition for you?" She said smirking.

"I had the highest average last year in my class last year and I do want to keep that streak going." He said smirking back at her. This wasn't why he asked her, but he thought this could be fun. . .

"Well, Mr. Shepherd, it looks like we have a competition for #1 in this class; because I also was #1 in my class this summer." She said challenging him. She didn't like to brag; in fact, she rarely talked about her studies. But, she felt like she could tell Derek anything.

"Looks like we do, but be prepared to lose. . . I am the best."

"I never lose." She said confidently.

"Neither do I—I get everything I want and go after." He said confidently giving her his McDreamy smile. Up to this point, he has gotten any and everything he has ever gone after. He was confident Meredith would be no different.

"We should get to studying or neither of us will have a chance to be #1." She said giggling.

"Yes, you are right. Study . . . we need to study." Derek said swallowing hard.

They studied for a few hours. "Oh my god. . . It is already 11pm. Alex is going to be so worried. He knew I was studying, but . . . shit. . . I haven't been out like this since I moved here . . . He doesn't even know. . . "

Derek stopped and looked at her. She hadn't told Alex she was here and he knew she probably hadn't. "You didn't tell Alex you were coming here . . . at some point he is going to find out we are lab partners. . . which means we are allowed to study together . . . hell, we are going to have to spend time together on stuff." He said reminding her of this.

She let out a deep sigh, "I know . . . it is just . . . he means well—he really does. He has really been there for me no matter what and he is my brother—my twin brother."

Derek stared into her beautiful eyes, "I am protective of my sisters, but Alex . . . he seems . . . it seems more than that."

"We are twins so we have a bond—we would do almost anything for each other . . . he has really been there for me. I guess you could say we just relied on each other. My older brother has always been there for me too, but Alex and I. . . very close."

"You have an older brother?" Derek asked. He loved getting new information about her. He just wanted to soak in everything about her.

"Yes, he is pretty great. He is married with 3 children. His oldest is really great and we are pretty close. They were very excited when I decided to move closer back home to go to med school."

"I bet they were." Derek said smiling.

"Well, we have gotten a lot of studying done in the last 4 hours with a small break for some chocolate desert." Meredith said satisfied with how much they had gotten accomplished.

"Yes, we are going to kick ass as lab partners." He said knowing they would kick ass at anything they did together.

Meredith started to get her books together. As Derek began putting his books away, he asked Mer, "So, do you want to study again?"

"As long as dinner and chocolate is in the equation, I am always in." She said smiling as she sat back down on the couch next to Derek.

"Well, I think we can manage something." He cocked his head ever so slightly and smiled at her bringing his hand to tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear. His finger grazed her jawbone that sent shivers down her spine.

Instead of bringing his hand back to him, his other hand found its way to her neck to pull her in closer. They sat inches apart looking into the depths of each other's eyes.

Meredith felt herself melt in his embrace. Her hands traveling up his back to his hair as their lips met, softly. This time it was Meredith who let out the small moan which caused Derek to follow with one of his own. Their tongues danced around each other.

Derek moaned even louder when Meredith sucked on his bottom lip. Derek worked his hands down her back and underneath her shirt. His hands grazed her lacy bra which caused Meredith to moan in Derek's mouth. He then moved his lips down to her neck as she ran her hands down his back to his thighs.

He lightly pushed her down on the couch as he moved his mouth down to her abdomen kissing it softly lavishing all of her with his hand grazing her nipple underneath her bra. Her hands were pulling at his hair to come back up to her, kissing him hardly on his lips.

"Let's . . . let's head to the . . ." Derek was struggling to form a coherent thought with her hands grazing near his erection. "Bedroom . . . more comfortable there." Derek managed to get out huskily.

"Bedroom." She repeated to him as he picked her up never letting their lips part.

As they neared his bedroom door, he felt her tense up in his arms. "STOP . . . we have to stop. . ." She said starting to shake in his arms, tears escaping her eyes . . . slowly at first, but within seconds she was sobbing.

Derek had no idea what to do. She was breaking down in front of him. He led her into his room and got her sitting on the bed and tried to get her to take deep breaths. . . He knew there was something. He had this feeling since Alex's conversation with him yesterday, but had no idea what or why. . .

"I am . . . so . . . sorry. . . I just . . . he . . . called me a . . . then the . . . a whore. . . I am not a whore . . . all my fault. . . I can't. . . I thought I could . . . not yet . . . the baby . . . not ready. . . I want to be . . . thought I was. . ." She said in broken words.

Derek had no idea what was wrong and felt his blood boil thinking about the possibility of someone hurting her. He was crushed watching her tremble and shake uncontrollably. He didn't want to see her like this. "Hey. . . Breath. . .Take deep breaths. I am here. . . " She looked up at him with sadness in her eyes as the trembling started to slow as did her tears.

He wanted to be gentle with her being he had no idea what was wrong with her except the few things she had said, but it didn't really make sense—whatever it was. . was bad. He reached up to tuck her hair behind her ears. She didn't turn away which was a wonderful sign. He wanted her to talk, but he wasn't going to ask any questions; he knew she would talk when she was ready.

"Thank you. . . I um . . . sorry. . . I didn't mean to. . . I mean I lead. . . I lead you on. . . I thought I could . . . he was right. . . I am a. . ." She said very much broken, but was relaxing more and more in his arms.

"Meredith . . . it is ok. . . I am here. . . I really. . .I want to get to know you . . . all of you. . . if you need to. . . I mean. . . I will listen if you want to talk. . . " He said very sincerely but was a little nervous of her reaction.

"Derek . . . thank you. . . I want to get to know you also . . . more than just as a lab partner. . . But, you shouldn't. . . want to get to know me. . . I am a . . . not someone who deserves anything good." She said looking down the entire time not wanting to see his face.

"Yes, you do deserve all of the good things—amazing things!" He said with hope in his voice.

"Not after what happened. . . " She said sadly.

"Tell me, Meredith. I want to be there and listen."

"I don't know if I can . . . only Cristina and Alex know . . . "

"I know it may be hard for you, but I feel something . . . something big and strange and wonderful with you. . . I am not sure how else to describe it. . . Let me in Mer"

She looked up at him to meet a pair of eyes full of compassion and love. He used Mer—a name that only her closest people call her and she felt comfort hearing him use it. "I was very different back then. . ." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. She felt like she needed and wanted to tell him. She started. . .

_Meredith had been home from a nice visit with Alex about a month and a half. She was sick with nausea and overall just not feeling well. Cristina kept telling her she looked like hell. When she started throwing up, Cristina got suspicious and made her take a pregnancy test. . . _

_"This is wrong, go and get me another one, in fact, get me 10 more." Meredith replied unable to breath. _

_Cristina did as she was told and every one of them said the same thing—she was pregnant. _

_Meredith told Cristina about her trip to see Alex. She met another race car driver at the bar and went home with him. They used protection, but apparently it wasn't foolproof. _

_She had no idea what to do. Cristina thought it would be best to have an abortion, but Meredith just couldn't go through with it. She didn't want anyone to know, but she knew her mother was due to come for a visit in the next few weeks and she needed help. Her mother would come no matter what and if she sensed something was wrong, she would come anyway. She loved her mother, but she wouldn't understand. It would be one more reason to say Meredith was unfocused and couldn't make it as a surgeon. _

_She only had one option—Alex. She had Bryant, her older brother, but he had his own family and things to deal with and they just weren't close like her and Alex. They were twins after all and if truth be known, Alex already had his suspicions. They read each others minds which are characteristic of twins. _

_She called Alex to tell him and he wanted to know who. . . She didn't tell him, said he wouldn't know the guy anyway, but he did help her keep their mother away. He knew there was something she was leaving out, he could feel it. _

_He also thought she should just get rid of it, but Meredith just didn't think she could do that. Even if she didn't care if she ever saw that man again, she just couldn't get rid of such a precious life. She also had a good heart and believed Lance, the father, had a right to know he was going to be a daddy. _

_Meredith called him and he called her a whore and that it was her problem so she needed to deal with it. This is when Meredith broke down. She was starting her last semester of college; she couldn't even get up to go to class. _

_Cristina hated Alex, but he needed to know what was going on. She had only met him one time and that was enough for both of them. But, the minute she called, he was on the first plane out. _

_He couldn't believe his fellow driver could do this to his sister—call her a whore and dismiss her, his child. Alex was going to kill him when he got back. _

_Alex was there for 2 days and Meredith had a miscarriage. She was sad, but was relieved. She also thought she had killed her baby as she didn't want it, but couldn't have an abortion. Alex stayed for a week, he hated to leave her. As much as he despised her person, Cristina promised she would look after her. _

_When he got back, he told Lance he never wanted to see him around racing again. Alex would have killed him, but they agreed for Lance to go away and never come back to racing. _

_It was a really hard semester for Meredith. Cristina saw a big change in her friend. She had not had sex with a man since. She even said things like she was going to wait until the right man came along. . . Cristina thought she was nuts, but stood by her side every step of the way. _

_They were the only three with the exception of Lance that knew about this. Alex made sure it stayed that way. _

She took a deep breath as she finished wondering what his response would be.

Derek had no idea what to say. He had so many emotions and feelings running through his body right now. There was only one thing he knew 100 right now: he wanted to hold her and/or do whatever he needed in order to support her and help her through this. "Mer. . . I have no idea what to say to you." He said as he lightly tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear then rested his hand at the nape of her neck.

"You have no idea what to say?" She said a little aggravated looking up at him with a shocked expression. She just told him something she hadn't told anyone else other than her person and twin . . . and this . . . what an ass. . .

Derek realized this sounded bad . . . he didn't mean anything by it and by looking at her face and reaction . . . he knew she took this wrong. In fact, he really didn't know what to say because he felt anger, sadness, relieved, and happy all in one second. He was angry because that son of a bitch did this to her. . .the worst thing is he wondered why Lance left the racing world overnight. . . He wanted to find him and kill him. He was sad for Meredith, the woman who was perfect and didn't deserve any of this. He was sad for the baby she lost and sad that she feels she killed her baby. Relieved it was not something worse because at first, the worse-case scenarios ran through his head: rape, abuse, etc. Lastly, he was happy that she had felt comfortable enough to share this with him when only 2 other people know. This feeling was suppressed deeply by the other 3.

"Meredith, I said that . . . because. . . I am not sure what to say at first . . . but, this . . . this is all I can say right now and hope to god it isn't too much for you. . . " He paused looking for reassurance from her, running his hand over her hair, smiling.

She looked up at him as if to give him the reassurance to continue. . .

"I am in this. . . I am so in this it hurts . . . at this moment. . . I . . . feel so many different things and I am sure it can't compare to all of the feelings you have . . . but, I am in this with you. . .I want to . . . to be there for you . . . to hold you if it gets too bad . . . to kill that bastard if he ever comes around you again. . . " He stopped and took a breathe he didn't realize he was holding when he saw her lips turn upward resembling something that looked like a smile.

"I think Alex has you covered in wanting to kill him. . . " She said with a bigger smile after saying that. She thought he would just leave her . . . or kick her out of his apartment . . . she didn't want to leave . . . but. . . he wouldn't want to be around a whore . . .

As fast as her smile formed, it was gone and tears were threatening to fall again. Derek sighed, "Oh Mer. . . I am here. . . I am sorry. . ."

She looked down, "Derek, he was right about one thing. . . I am a . . . a . . . a"

Derek knew what she was about to say and it made him angry. . .not at her but the low-life asshole who said it to her, "Stop, stop right there . . . you are not . . . don't ever think that . . . Meredith . . . look up at me . . ."

She slowly looked up with a few tears running down her cheeks. He used his thumb to wipe off the tears. Then he continued, "I hate . . . hate that he said that to you . . . but you. . . Meredith Grey . . . are far from anything less than perfect . . . you are amazing. . . I want to tell you this everyday for. . ." He stopped unsure about what he was about to say, so decided on something a little less scary at this point. . . "that I see you. I want to be a reminder that there are men out there who . . . would never treat someone . . . someone as great as you. . . like you have been treated."

She wanted to believe these words, but it was hard to. . . she had told herself she wouldn't ever allow herself. . . but as bad as it hurt to tell Derek, she suddenly felt different. . . better even. . . "I just don't know. . . I want to believe you, but. . . "

"No buts, at least give me the chance to show you." He asked giving her his McDreamy smile that made her melt away. . .

"I think. . . I think you are right. . . I should. . . I mean. . . we will be spending time together as lab partners. . . so. . . yeah. . . good. . . you can tell me. . . when you show me. . . or whatever. . ." She said while her lips molded into what looked like a small smile.

It was small, but it was there and that made Derek happy. He couldn't take away what that bastard said to her nor the feelings that she killed her baby, but he could show her what she deserved—happiness and love.

They sat for a few minutes with Derek just holding her before he speaks up, "Mer, you can't drive home tonight. . . "

"I am fine. . . I need to go home . . . they will be worried about me. I haven't. . . I mean since . . . everything. . . I haven't been out . . . by myself. . .so, I have to go home. . . "

He looked at her and gave that perfect smile, "This is me . . . trying to show you . . . what you deserve. That includes being concerned for you which means you are not driving home."

"I want to . . . but I can't give you what you want. . . I know you were ready to. . . " She said knowing he was ready to have sex with her just a little while ago.

He interrupted her and saying very softly, "If you stay here, I will hold you until you go to sleep. When you fall asleep, I will go and sleep on the couch. Oh, and what I want. . . is to get to know Meredith Grey and take care of her."

"You promise?" She said looking up at him biting her lower lip—something he found very cute. He also realized she did that when she seemed nervous.

"I promise. I will give you a pair of pj pants and a t-shirt to sleep in." He said hopeful she would let him do this for her.

"Ok. . . and Derek. . . thank you!" She whispered.

She got changed in the bathroom and came back in where she saw Derek changing the sheets on the bed. "You don't have to. . . "

"Yes, I do. . . I want you to sleep on clean sheets—the sheets that were on there needed to be washed. . . "

"Thank you Derek, you really did not have to. . . to do any of this. . . thank you for everything."

"You are worth it Mer." Before he could let her respond with anything negative, he quickly continued, "Do you need anything. . . I may just have some ice cream in my freezer. . . "

"As tempting as that sounds, I am going to pass tonight, but I would love for you to lay here with me until I go to sleep."

"Ok, that sounds great." He smiled and pulled her in to him as they lay down on the crisp, clean sheets. He hoped the worse was over and they could concentrate on the future. He had no idea the night would turn out this way, but he was happy . . . well, happy that she was here, in his arms, talking to him about her past.

He heard a small noise come from her, one that quickly became a much louder noise. It made him smile listening to her snore—it was very cute he thought but he did wonder how such a noise could come from such a small person.

He wanted to continue to hold her, but he promised her he would sleep on the couch and he was going to do just that.

When he reached the couch, he realized Meredith never called Cristina or Alex to let them know she was ok. He knew he would not call Alex under any circumstance, but he figured he could call Cristina. She was a little scary, but she seemed to really care about Meredith—especially after making the queen comment to him that first night at the Temple. He figured she was a person who would be ok with her staying over.

He found her cell phone in her bag. He hoped Cristina's cell number would be programmed in and sure enough he found it and decided to call it.

"You better be calling me this late to tell me about the screaming orgasm you had tonight and you are on your way for more before the night is over."

Derek had no idea what to say. . . So, he decided on something very safe. "This. . . this is. . . um. . . Derek Shepherd." He was nervous to be using her phone to call her roommate.

"Where the hell is Meredith? Why do you have her phone and why are you calling me. I swear if you hurt her . . . I will hurt you . . . kill you even and make it look like an accident." She said in a harsh voice.

Derek sighed. "I wanted to . . . um . . . call to let you know that Meredith is fine and she will not be home tonight."

"Then why in the hell are you calling me. . . "

"Oh . . . well. . . I think she was worried you may . . . be worried. I just wanted to let you know."

"You still haven't answered my question though, why do you have her phone and why isn't she calling me herself?"

He took a deep breath. He had no idea what to say, but he also knew this was one of the only other people who knew what Meredith has been going through so he decided to tell her the complete truth hoping it would be ok.

"She told me. . ."

There was silence on the phone for a few seconds.

"Oh" Cristina replied.

"She broke down and she couldn't drive home. I gave her something to wear and she is asleep. I just wanted to let you know she is ok."

"Did she tell you everything?"

"About the baby and Lance. . .Yes. . ." He barely could say his name without feeling his blood boil.

"Listen, she is my person . . . that is the only reason I am about to talk to you about this. . . obviously she trusts you a lot if she told you. . . you better not do anything to have her think otherwise. She deserves good in her life. If you do anything contrary to that, I think you know what I will do. . ."

"I know. . . I want to . . . show her she deserves good and I am going to do everything I can to make sure she knows . . . there is good out there and you are right. . .she deserves good in her life. She is really amazing."

"You better not fuck it up."

"I am not. Can you answer a question for me?"

"Depends on the question."

"Is she really ok?"

"She will be. . . physically she is fine, but she still blames herself for the baby and sleeping with him. I think her telling you was the start to her really being ok. She doesn't talk about it much and I have seen her smiling more in the last 2 to 3 weeks."

"Really? The last 2 or 3 weeks?" He said with a smile on his face.

Cristina had not realized this was around the time she met Derek. She could also tell he was smiling on his end of the phone, "Don't go all McDreamy on me. She really does deserve the McDreamy part though even though I will probably give both of you shit for it. . . "

"I don't know you well yet, but I have a feeling you will live up to that." He said laughing a little. He felt relieved. At the beginning he wasn't sure, but he thought he could grow to like Cristina.

"Well, that and the fact I will really kill you if you do anything to hurt her."

"I won't. I will be her McDreamy." He said confidently.

"As much as it will pain me to actually see the dreaminess, that is what she needs and I do believe you are the one to do it. I will deny that if you say it though."

"It will be our secret. . . Oh and Cristina. . . Thanks . . . she will really need you support on . . . me and her. I think she is opening to the idea . . . but Alex."

"Don't worry. . . I will handle Alex. He will come around . . . he is just really protective. Now you understand a little about why."

"Yes, I couldn't imagine this happening to any of my sisters; I would be as bad if not worse than him. So, I understand. But, it is going to be hard for him. . . We have a history with racing and we have been competitors for a while."

"Don't worry; I know exactly how to handle Alex. You know she has an early class in the morning."

"Yes, I am in the class. She will be there with a full stomach. I plan on making her breakfast."

"And the vomiting starts. . . " She said with a hint of playfulness in her voice.

"Thanks again Cristina."

"I am glad you took care of her and did not try to take advantage of her. That would have been grounds for a killing. . . " She said laughing .. .

"Have a good night and sorry to have woken you up." He said relieved.

"It is ok. . . good night to you."

Derek hung up her phone feeling great about his conversation. Her best friend, this woman that called herself Meredith's person . . . is ok with this and that made him rest easy.

Cristina hung up the phone relieved that Meredith was ok and possibly even getting better. She then decided to go straight to Alex's room. If Mer wasn't coming home tonight, she was going to have some fun. She was truly happy for her person. She knew Derek was the one to really help her and she had a feeling this would be it for Meredith.


	21. Pick Your Jaw Up

**Ok - I just want to remind you. . . these updates are longish b/c I am putting scenes together. . . I do update this story daily on the boards, but a scene may be 4 days of updates. . . so, when this story is caught up. . . the updates may not be as long. . . but, we are getting caught up. . . although I may keep just posting the longer chapters, just not daily. . . **

Derek woke up to the sound of his cell phone alarm going off. He remembered setting it before he went to sleep so he could wake up to cook a good breakfast for Meredith before they had to leave for class.

He was excited to have class with her today, but was dreading Dr. Lawrence's class. He knew being a TA for him would be interesting, but what made it worse is Alex being in the class with a huge target on him. He was in the same situation a year ago and knew what kind of hell Alex would go through with him. Dr. Lawrence was the best, but arrogant and could get away with just about anything. He would help Alex stay focused just like the TA Derek had last year helped him.

Derek started breakfast: pancakes with some bacon. He wanted to make omelets, but he didn't have eggs. He was whistling around the kitchen as he put on some coffee, mixed the batter and got the pan hot.

"Well, it looks like someone got a good fuck last night." Mark said smirking watching his brother waltz around the kitchen like an idiot.

"Mark . . . now is not the time." Derek said in a warning voice.

"You look like a fucking idiot skipping around the kitchen like that."

"Mark . . . please. . ." In the same voice as before.

"Hey man, cool down. . . Oh . . . she is here isn't she . . . way to go Shep. Is she good because she looks like she would be?"

Derek stopped what he was doing this time and walked over close to Mark and looked at him square in the eye, "Look, I am not going to ask you again . . . shut the fuck up."

"Man, she must have. . . " Mark stopped when he noticed Derek really was serious. Something happened. "Derek, is everything ok?"

"Yes . . . no. . . I don't know . . . but I think it will be. . . "

"I know I can be an ass, but if you need to talk. . . "

"Not right now. . . I just need you to shut your fucking mouth this morning and be on your best behavior. Mer. . . She really needs that this morning."

"What are you talking about Shep?"

"Look, I can't give you any specifics, but I think she is going to be spending some time here and I need you to be. . . a little more. . . un-Mark like."

"Is she ok? You are talking all weird and she seems pretty cool."

"She will be, but it may take some time and I want to be there for her every step of the way. I also need your help in being normal." Derek looked up at Mark and they both kind of laughed at the same time.

"You think I am capable of normal?" He said smirking.

"Just try." Derek said shaking his head in amusement.

"I will. . . now, shut up and go back to your whistling and cooking me some breakfast."

"Correction. . . I am cooking Mer breakfast and you, my friend, you should sleep with a bimbo that cooks."

"I don't care to stick around for breakfast . . . with any of my bimbos. I may turn into you—some love sick weirdo who whistles around the kitchen with a stupid love sick grin on his face."

"One day, Mark. . . one day." He said knowing Mark would find someone one day.

**-------------------------**

Meredith started to stir in the unfamiliar room. She remembered the events from the previous night very quickly which put a huge smile on her face. As she was opening her eyes, she also could smell something delicious.

She was in his apartment with his things. She remembered falling asleep in his arms and at some point must have left to sleep on the couch just like he said he would do. She couldn't believe he didn't kick her out or look at her like she was just another. . . She wasn't going to think about this because for the first time in 7 months, she was really fine . . . not Meredith fine.

She was surprised she felt comfortable enough to tell him, but there was something about him that made her feel wonderful—like she could tell him anything. She still wasn't sure she deserved any of this, but she wanted to try. . .to let him show her. There was only one problem. . . Alex. She knew she would deal with it as it came. She knew it wouldn't be easy, but as her twin, he would realize. . . Derek . . . was a good one . . . an amazing one.

Meredith decided to get up and see what smelled so good. As she neared the kitchen she could hear laughing and she immediately stiffened. She had not even considered the possibility of Mark being up and around. She knew they were roommates, but she wasn't prepared.

Before she could turn around to go back to Derek's room, Derek saw her, "Mer . . . " He said smiling at her with his hair in all different directions from rooting around on the couch. He just stared at her. She was really there . . . standing near his kitchen with his clothes on with her hair looking like she just got up. He thought she looked amazing last night . . . but this . . . this is something. . . he wanted more of . . . her waking up in his apartment having breakfast waiting for her. Next time, he will have to serve breakfast in bed. He also realized he needed to go with the flow . . . as much as he wanted her here—he had to make sure it was at her pace.

"Oh . . . um. . . I was going to . . . well. . . I thought I would. . . " She said nervously looking between Derek and Mark.

"Well, you don't want to miss Derek's famous pancakes . . . hot and fresh right out the pan." Mark said noticing how nervous Meredith seemed. He walked over to the stove taking the spatula from Derek. Without saying a word, Derek realized Mark was trying to take over so he could go to Meredith.

Derek walked over to where Meredith was standing, "Good morning" He said smiling at her wanting to hug her, but he wasn't sure just yet.

"Good morning to you. . . I could . . . um . . . smell something yummy and wanted to see what it was." She said smiling back at him.

The smile was just what he needed to pull her in for a hug. He felt her relax at his touch. "Did you sleep ok?" He whispered close to her ear.

"Yeah, really great. . . I could get used to waking up to the smell of breakfast cooking." She said as she pulled away to look at him and smiled lightly.

"I wanted to make something a little more . . . healthy . . . but I didn't have any eggs . . . so it is just add water pancakes."

"You and your healthiness. . . " She said giggling up at him.

He wished she wouldn't giggle like that because it made his whole body react. . . "How are you this morning?" He said clearing his throat.

"I am fine. . . "

"On a scale of 1-10, how bad is it?" Derek asked.

"Right this second, 7. . . Maybe 8. . . last night. . . 10. . . definitely a 10. Derek . . . thank. . . "

He stopped her and pulled her back into him and wrapped his arms around her, "Mer. . . You do not have to thank me. . . I am going to be here . . . cooking for you . . . telling you how great you are . . . studying with you . . . and everything you can ever imagine."

She just relaxed in his arms. She felt safe when she was with him. She then felt herself tearing up. She wasn't sure why, but it wasn't bad tears . . . it was good tears.

Derek heard a small sniffle, "Meredith. . ." he said as he pulled slightly away and took his hand and put it under her chin to pull her face up to look at him. He looked at her with concern and she saw this.

"Derek, I am fine. . . really fine. . . not just me fine. . . which you probably don't know, but I say I am fine when I am really not. . . but. . Fine . . . and I am now rambling. The tears are not tears of sadness. . . But are tears of relief . . . relief that I can feel normal again . . . this is the first morning in 7 months I have felt normal." She looked at him shocked at her own words.

He couldn't believe she just said this. He couldn't say anything and felt the tears welling up in his own eyes. . . "Just remember . . . you deserve all the good. Let's go eat breakfast and get ready to go."

"I am going to run to the bathroom and I will be right out." She said smiling at him as he was drying her tears off of her cheeks.

Derek walked into the kitchen to fix a plate for both of them. All three of them sat at the table and began eating. . .

"Derek, these pancakes are great. . . I think you need to stay over more often, Meredith so I can get breakfast." Mark said smiling.

Derek looked quickly at Meredith hoping she would be ok with Mark's comment. . . "Will I get breakfast anytime I stay here?" She quickly said smiling at Derek which made him smile.

"Of course there will be breakfast and preferably a more nutritious one instead of pancakes and syrup." Derek suggested.

"Lighten up with the health crap. . . It looks like Meredith enjoys the syrup and pancakes seeing as it is already all gone." Mark said looking over at Meredith laughing.

She looked up as she heard her cell phone ringing. "Oh. . . they were wonderful. . . excuse me." She walked up from the table to get her cell phone. . .

Meredith looked at her phone, _Oh shit. . . she is probably worried. . . I so forgot to call her_. Meredith couldn't believe she forgot to call. She was shocked though as it didn't look like she had any missed calls.

"Hello" Meredith answered nervously as she figured her person was going to let her have it.

"Good, your ass is awake. . . I figured you would be on a post-orasmic high. . . "

"Cristina. . . No. . . there was no. . . orgasm or whatever. . . this is. . . more than that. . . "

"Where is Mer and what have you done with her? First she didn't call me to let me know she was ok, now, she is saying there wasn't an orgasm. . . "

"I am sorry I didn't call you. . . I got . . . busy . . . not what you think though . . . talking . . . and breakfast. . .but, I am fine. . . great even. . . "

"Stop rambling Mer. . . I know. . . McDreamy called me. . . "

"HE WHAT??" She yelled loud into the phone.

"Meredith, are you ok?" Derek came into the room making sure everything was ok.

"Oh. . . yeah. . . I am fine. . . I will be back in just a few minutes." She was thankful he got the hint and left the room.

"So, he called you. . . How did he. . .I mean . . . how did he get . . . your number. . . "

"To be so smart. . . you really are a dumb ass sometimes. . ."

"Not nice. . . "

"Where did you leave your phone last night?" Cristina said in a smart ass tone.

She thought, "Oh . . . it was where my books where. . . I guess he called after I went to sleep . . . but . . . why would he call?"

"Well, possibly because you have a brother who would have totally freaked if he would have realized you were not home. . . "

"OH MY GOD. . . ALEX"

Derek heard her say Alex and got nervous so he started towards the room Meredith was in, but stopped when she heard Meredith continue, "Cristina, please tell me everything is ok and he didn't ask too many questions. . . "

Derek was glad he decided to call Cristina last night to let her know Mer was ok.

"Don't worry, I took care of everything." Cristina said thinking about all of the things she did to take care of Alex. . .

"Thank you so much Cristina. . . Derek called you, huh"

"He did. . . "

"Umm . . . what did he. . . I mean, did he say . . . anything. . .to you about . . . last night?"

Cristina wasn't sure if she should tell Meredith that Derek did in fact tell her Meredith opened up to him, she paused before saying, "You told him. . . "

Meredith took a deep breath. . . She wasn't sure how she felt about her person and her. . . whatever he was. . . lab partner. . . talk about her.

"Mer?" Cristina asked hoping Meredith wasn't having a small freak out.

"I am here."

"Don't freak out because I can hear you freaking out." She said hoping to get a laugh out of Meredith.

"You can't hear me. . . " She said letting out a smile laugh.

"Meredith, I think you need to put the last 7 to 8 months behind you and move forward . . . it is time and I think you have just the person to help you."

"I can't Cristina. . . He is great, but Alex. . . He will never. . . I mean . . . they are competitors . . . he is his TA . . . they even have a race this weekend. . . I don't even know how to tell Alex he is my lab partner much less anything else."

"Meredith, he will come around . . . if there is anything he wants—it is for you to be happy—truly happy. Just give it time."

"Ok, now where has my person gone?" She said laughing. It wasn't like Cristina to get all serious and stuff . . . but she has been doing it more and more in the last few weeks. . .

Derek wanted to let her continue to talk, but she probably didn't realize they needed to head to class. So, he quietly walked in the room, "Meredith . . . I am sorry to interrupt . . . but, we need to get going and you still need to change. . . "

"Oh . . . he is already bossing you around. . . " Cristina said laughing.

"No, there is no boss of me. . . I will see you later in class."

"Kicking your ass."

"Never. . . Oh and Cristina. . ."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for everything. . . I really appreciate it."

"Well, I am sure we can figure out some way to pay me back for it." Cristina said laughing.

"See ya later. . ." Meredith said rolling her eyes hanging up her phone.

"I am sorry. . . Thanks for coming to let me know we needed to get going." She said to Derek.

"No problem, go and get ready . . . do you know what you are going to do about clothes?" Derek asked.

"Oh. . . I haven't really thought about that. . . I will just wear what I had on last night."

Derek really didn't want to see her again in that outfit . . . he knew he was going to have to sit through class with her breasts showing in that white top and those jeans that hugged her ass . . . he didn't want to think about her in those ways . . . but he couldn't help it . . . he would wait as long as she needed, but it didn't want him to want her any less. . .

"Ms. Grey. . . " Dr. Wright said for the second time.

"Oh. . . um. . . the loss of dopaminergic cells in the substantia nigra." Meredith aswered as it rolled off of her tongue. Mark and Derek both looked at her in disbelief—that she knew the answer.

_Oh Shit…_ Meredith thinks to herself…_I just spaced in class, I mean I got the answer correct. . . I knew I would. . . we did study last night with the. . . no. . . not thinking about the kissing. . . and the. . . he was perfect when I told him. . . but I must look like an idiot for spacing like that...get Derek, his perfectness and his McDreaminess out of your head! Focus Mer Focus! But he really was great last night about everything…like amazing…like unbelievably amazing…crap class-focus! _Meredith could see Derek staring at her as she tried to concentrate on Dr. Wright.

_Look at how beautiful she looks and she is so damn smart which makes me want her even more . . . no. . .she is not ready for any of that. . . Alex. . . remember him. . . and these other guys need to stop looking at her. . . But, those jeans . . . her ass in those jeans and. . . Her brain . . . it mesmerizes me . . . even studying last night. . . she was close to perfection . . . knowing just about everything. . . Damn am I rambling? Fuck, I need to pay attention to Dr. Wright . . . maybe I could if she hadn't worn that shirt... _He thought to himself as his eyes locked with hers in that instance. Her green eyes peering into his piercing blue ones, getting lost in each other's gaze.

Mark got up to leave class and took a few steps towards the door when he realized there were two people who weren't moving. . . "Earth to Derek… Meredith…guys, class is over. . Where you two eye fucking or what?" Mark said smirking.

Derek quickly broke the trance to give a glare to Mark that told him to shut the fuck up immediately. He asked him to be un-Mark like and he knew that was too much too ask, but he did not need Meredith to freak out. They quickly gathered their belongings and walked out of class with Mark in front of them.

"Man, for our second day of class that was pretty intense" Mark stated.

"I can't believe he called on you in class Mer and you were. . . amazing." Derek said quickly trying to avert attention from Mark before he made another lewd comment.

"Yea, I am just glad I came up with the right answer," she commented quickly being slightly embarrassed she spaced out in class and Dr. Wright had to call her on twice to get her attention.

"Hey there Meredith. . ." Izzie said getting up off of the bench to greet Meredith as they all three walked out of the building.

"Hey. . . um. . . Izzie" She remembered her name and wasn't at all nervous about that, she was nervous that Derek was with her and she had a class with Alex in approximately one hour. . .

"Did you have class this morning?"

"Yeah, class. . . I had class." Meredith said still a little nervous—something Derek picked up on right away although he wasn't sure why.

"Hello, I am Derek and this is Mark. . . Don't mind anything he might say though—we try to ignore him." Derek said shaking Izzie's hand knowing he has seen her somewhere.

"Then, why is he with you guys?" She said in a challenging tone, noticing the steamy eyes he was giving her.

"Because, no one can live without me. Hello, I am Mark Sloan and you too will learn you can't live without me." He said smiling at her. . .

Derek looked at Mark. . . he was smiling, but it was a different smile. . .

"That right there would tell me I can definitely live without you." Izzie replied back never keeping her eyes off of his almost daring him. . .

"Ok, kids. . . I have a class to prepare for. . . Dr. Lawrence's second class. . .you know that is always fun." Derek said looking at Mark. . .He knew it would be long and even more torturous for the students than last class. It would be like that for the next few weeks at least. But, he was really great and prepared the students unlike any other.

"Oh God, I hope it isn't as bad as last time . . . he was really hard on . . . is it Alex? That is his name, correct?" She remembered meeting him in their class yesterday afternoon.

"You are in the class. . . That is why you looked familiar." Derek said realizing she was in there. Dr. Lawrence even made a comment to him about how hot she was, but that she would never make it. Derek knew she had it coming to her as much as Alex if Dr. Lawrence really thought that.

"Yes. . . Meredith isn't in that class with us . . . why is that?" Izzie asked curious.

Meredith didn't like telling people, but she liked Izzie and didn't mind if she knew. . . she would find out anyway, "Well. . . I am in the lab class for second year students. . . "

"Wow. . . that is incredible. . . how did you get to do that?" Izzie asked.

Before Meredith could answer, Derek interrupted, "I really need to get going. . . Mark, get your jaw off of the ground and let's go."

Derek looked over at Meredith. He wasn't sure what to do as he left her because Izzie was standing there and she was going to be in class with Alex. . . He took her hand, leaned into her and whispered in her ear, "I don't want to hide this. You deserve this no matter what." He needed to remind her.

This sent shivers down her spine as she watched him walk off thinking about all of the things they talked about last night. She had opened up to him and he was perfect. . . She wanted to try. . . She needed to try but it was hard. . . She didn't want to hide this either . . . but how?


	22. Another Day

**This site was adding crazy the last few days and I was having trouble logging in, but here it is. . . Enjoy. . .**

Meredith was busy the rest of Wednesday and Thursday with class and studying. Her first week of classes was hell. She wondered if part of that was due to a certain lab partner. She really just wanted to go to class and concentrate all of her time on school. She didn't have time for someone . . . whatever he may be. But, she went over to his apartment Tuesday night, shared an amazing dinner with him, then told him everything. . . She couldn't believe she actually told him. Then he was incredible amazing . . . perfect even. 

Friday morning she slept in until 9am. She had to get up every morning early but Cristina and Alex got to sleep late on Monday and Wednesday because their class didn't start until late morning. Meredith had her class with Derek early on those mornings. She had decided she needed to get up and head to the library and study for a little while. She knew it was just the first week, but she did feel like she had a lot to prove.

She was so busy yesterday, she didn't even see Derek. She saw Mark in Dr. Bailey's class because he is the TA. He seemed preoccupied and didn't say anything to her which shocked her. She knew she would see Derek tomorrow night at the race . . . assuming he was racing. He knew Derek raced most of the time during school, but she remembered there were a few he didn't race last year. She figured it was around the busy testing times. . . She was also going to the track this afternoon to help Alex train for the race, hoping Derek wouldn't be there—they needed to concentrate on the upcoming race. Being the first week of school, he had not gotten to the track as much this week. Brad did go to the track everyday to give the car a spin to make sure there weren't any adjustments that needed to be made. He kept Alex abreast of any necessary repairs.

Meredith arrived at the library and went up to the third floor where the medical journals and books were housed. So, this was the place to be for med students—there were always students in there studying. .

After an hour of studying, she decided to grab a cup of coffee. She was thankful they had a coffee maker on the third floor specifically for medical students. . . there were students working and studying around the clock. It was only 11 in the morning, but looking at pharmacology books for an hour will make anyone need coffee.

"Meredith?" Someone from behind her said.

Meredith turned around as she was putting on a fresh pot. "Oh, hi. . . "

"I guess we both had the same idea this morning."

"Yeah, I can't believe I was motivated to get up to come and study, but I have to. . . especially being in. . ." Meredith stopped herself. Izzie asked her the other day how she was in the 2nd year lab class, but they were distracted by Derek and him grazing her ear. She couldn't get that feeling out of her head and couldn't wait until there was more grazing of the ear.

"The 2nd year class. . . " Izzie finished her statement. Izzie noticed Meredith's expression change at the mention of this. She had overheard Cristina tell Alex in class—the one Meredith wasn't in with them that she took the first year during the summer. So, she decided to change the subject, "So, you and Derek. . . "

"WHAT?" She said a little louder than she should have in the library. She cleared her throat, "Derek. . . he is. . . my lab partner. . . yeah. . . " She said nervously biting her lower lip.

"Really? Because the way you two were looking at each other, I would have thought it was more than lab partners—not to mention the way your knees buckled when he leaned into you."

[IShit. . . was it that. . . It was so nothing. . . but it was amazing. . . his lips. . .grazing my ear. . . and the night before. . . on the couch. . . focus Mer.[/I She knew Izzie was standing here and she wasn't really sure what to say. She wasn't ready to talk to Alex about this yet, but the more people who knew . . . but, there was nothing for people to know. . . or so she keeps telling herself that. She decided to just change the subject. . . "So, what do you like to do for fun?"

Izzie realized Meredith was changing the subject which meant there was something, but she wasn't ready to talk about it just yet. She laughed before saying, "Fun. . .You have time for fun?"

Meredith laughed, glad the conversation lightened, "I know what you mean . . . it will be like this for the next 5 years at least. But, humor me, if there was time. . . "

"I like to do . . . you know . . . the normal stuff . . . go to parties . . . the occasional movie . . . typical college stuff." This wasn't a lie, she just wasn't sure if she wanted everyone to know she had been doing some modeling in the last 2 years. She spent her summers modeling in Japan making enough money to pay for school and live off of the entire year. Her agent believed she would be able to start making some good money in the states modeling and were working on getting some more jobs because being that medical school was much more expensive than her undergraduate program. 

"Yeah. . . I know about the typical party stuff . . . speaking of party . . . it isn't really a party . . . well, we do usually hit The Temple afterwards, but would you like to go to a car race Saturday night?"

"You are into car racing. . . " Izzie asked a little shocked. She overheard some guys talking yesterday at lunch that there were 2 students who raced and were competitors on the track, but didn't catch any names.

"Who isn't. . . ?" Meredith said assuming everyone likes car racing.

"And to think. . . Cristina seemed like the wise guy between the two of you." Izzie said laughing. She really liked Meredith.

"You know what Izzie, I think I like you. But, seriously. . . Derek races." Meredith stopped abruptly with her statement. [IFuck. . . I just said Derek races, not my brother . . . the one I am helping this afternoon on the track. This is BAD. . . I should have said it is Alex. . . he is the one that races. . . Derek races also, but Alex. . . he is the one I cheer for. . . definitely Alex. . . THIS IS BAD[I Meredith thought to herself.

Izzie looked at Meredith strangely. "So. . . Derek is just your lab partner, but you are going to watch him race? There is much more to that story. . . and one day soon you are going to tell me" She said definitively.

"Nothing to tell . . . now, about the race before I decide to uninvite you. . ." She said in a playful tone.

"So, Saturday night. . . "

"Yeah . . . oh . . . and my brother, Alex . . . he races too actually and I go to cheer him on. . . I am actually heading to the track in a few hours to help him train and Mark . . . you know our TA from Bailey's class, he is Derek's pit boss." This is when she noticed an interesting look on Izzie's face. . .

"Mark will be there. . . "

"Yeah . . . why . . . don't tell me he got to you."

"Hell no. . . He just assumed he would . . . no. . . No way. . ." she said knowing she wouldn't fall for someone like him.

"So, Saturday night, are you in?"

"I don't know a thing about racing, but I am sure it could be fun."

"It is tons of fun and we get special seats. . . Alex doesn't let me stay too far away as sometimes, he needs me. We will also go to The Temple after the race. . . It will be fun. . . "

"That sounds like fun. . . I will call you tomorrow to get the details. . . "

"Sounds great, I need to get back to studying before I have to head out." Meredith said as she wrote down her cell number excited Izzie was coming with them.

"See ya tomorrow." Izzie said glad Meredith asked her to go tomorrow night. She had just moved here and didn't really know anyone.

Meredith studied for a few more hours before heading off to the track to work with Alex. . . she hoped he was there alone or at least without his main competitor. . .

Meredith lost track of time studying and didn't have time to run home to grab a bite to eat and change clothes. She got up and put on "study wear" for her trip to the library.

Meredith walked up to the track looking around to observe who was at the track. She needed to concentrate on Alex and help him prepare for the race. She knew this would be hard if a pair of piercing blue eyes were staring at her. She missed seeing him yesterday—she couldn't believe how much she wanted to see him. She knew he was busy with his class load and being a TA. He was taking an extra class in neuro this term since that is what he was interested in doing. They hadn't made plans to see each other again and Meredith was surprised she hadn't at least seen him around. . .

"Hey there Toots. . . I am glad you could make it this afternoon. . . I know you would rather be studying. . . " Alex said heading over to greet his sister. He felt she studied too hard, but he knew she felt like she had to—much more than him. For some reason, there was always more expectation put on Meredith – maybe because she was the girl. Alex never really understood why their mother pressed more issues with Mer, but she did.

"No, I would rather not be studying . . . there is nowhere else I would rather be. You know I love the track and working with you so you can kick ass."

"Yeah. . . I just figured you would be too busy for me and the track."

"Never too busy for my twin. . . "

"Well, good . . . we have a busy afternoon . . . school has been kicking my ass being the first week. I am hoping I can keep this up – but I just won't be able to practice as much which sucks, but if Shepherd can do it, then so can I." Alex said confidently.

Meredith froze at the mention of Derek's name. . . she wondered if he was going to be here today or if maybe that is why she hadn't seen him much. . . maybe he got in some practice yesterday after classes. She needed to concentrate on Alex and his strategy to win tomorrow night. "Yes . . . you can . . . yeah . . . you can win . . . and do it . . . like der. . . I mean shepherd . . . yeah . . . so. . .strategies . . . we need to win . . . tomorrow night . . . practice now. . . " She just rambled on.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you high or something? You seemed fine when you came in, we should get some water . . . you also look flushed." Alex said before he turned to run over to get water for Meredith.

She had no idea why she reacted that way. . . well, she did actually. . . thinking about Derek and his racing gear. . . his ass was perfect in it and the way his hair peaked out of his pre-race hat was. . . sexy. . .Then she remembered the skin tight black undershirt he wore before he had his full racing suit on. . . Meredith walked over to where Alex was getting her water. She could feel herself getting hotter and her core becoming fully aware. . .

"Why don't you sit for a minute?" Alex suggested.

"I am ok. Thanks for getting the water . . . but we do have a race to prepare for. Is Brad coming today?" She asked.

"Of course, he is coming today. . . " Someone said from behind Meredith and Alex. . .

"About fucking time. . . I am the one in med school and you can't even get here on fucking time. Even my sister who studies her ass off could get here on time. . . "

"Stop your whining. . . I had a late night or should I say early morning. But, I am here and ready to work boss. How are you Mer, you looked flushed?"

"I AM FINE!" She said trying to convince herself of that. She found herself looking around . . . hoping.

"Well, you don't look well. Are you studying too much? It is only the first week. I think you people are crazy for trying to go to med school and do this, but if you think you can handle it. . . "

"Fuck yeah I can . . . you know that asshole Shepherd is in medical school and of course he is fucking hot shit. The professors love him."

"Yeah, I think I knew that . . . remember, he missed a few races last year and the rumor was he was too busy at school."

"I be damned before I do that. I don't fucking have to be the top – I know I will be a damn good surgeon and don't need to be #1 to prove it to everyone else."

Meredith just sat there listening to them talk about Derek. . . she was having a hard enough time not thinking about him, but here they were. . . talking about him.

"You will be awesome dude. . . I would let you operate on me."

"I am going into plastics. . . so unless you want a penis enhancement. . . "

"I wouldn't let you come near my penis. . . you may cut it off to keep the woman for yourself. . . "

"I would do no such thing."

"Have you seen Shepherd on campus?" Brad asked curiously.

"He is my fucking TA – I see him at least 2 times a week in class. It gets worse though—the professor is a total ass. He rides me because of who my mother is. Fucking prick . . . oh and Shep is his golden boy." Alex wouldn't admit it to anyone and especially not Brad, but he actually thought Shepherd wasn't too bad. Derek had managed to stay away from Meredith so he was happy. He just hoped he didn't show up to the track, but he was sure he took care of that. He asked for a private session today and the track owners granted 2 hours to Alex after he explained his situation.

Meredith sat thinking she also saw him at least 2 times a week—as her lab partner. . . and the other night. . . she wanted more in every sense of the word and hoped she could have it very soon.

"Man, that is rough . . . med school must be interesting, but I am sure there are some hot, future doctors. . ."

"Yeah. . . I guess so, I haven't really noticed."

"Are you fucking kidding me? You. . . Mr. I fuck a different girl every week . . . sometimes a different girl everyday of the week. . . "

"Yeah . . . busy I guess. . . We need to get started with practice. Send one of the guys to get the car and tires."

"Yes, boss. . . " Brad didn't want to say anything else, but Alex acted weird when he asked him about the hot doctors. . .

They had been watching and giving Alex strategy on a few turns for about an hour . . . it was all business until Brad asked, "So, you seem preoccupied. I mean . . . you are helping out tons with Alex, but you just seem to be somewhere else."

"No. . . how many times do I need to tell you guys. . . I am fine. . . Great even!"

"Ok . . . whatever . . . so, how is school going?"

"Fine."

"Not so good, huh?"

"What. . . I said fine. . . it is fine."

"You really are convincing. . . " He said mockingly.

"Whatever, you are an ass."

"Yeah . . . but, your brother keeps me around for some reason." 

"Because this is something you know well . . . he would be stupid to get rid of you." 

"I think so."

"And arrogant . . . a little like my brother. . . " Meredith said smirking. The boy laughed for a minute.

"So, are there any hot guys on campus?"

"Yes . . . no. . . I am not sure. . . Definitely not . . . no. . . "

"Well, Grey, I would definitely say, there is . . . want to tell me about him."

"I didn't . . . there isn't a . . . him to tell about. . . So, shut the hell up."

"You don't want Alex to know there is a someone." Brad said as he figured that had to be the reason she was being so. . . Meredith about the small talk he was trying to make. He hadn't been around her a lot in the past, but enough to know she did this freak out thing and she was definitely freaking now.

"I am going to say one more time. . . There is no one for Alex to know about or whatever . . . not anyone. . . So, keep your damned mouth shut." Meredith said in a warning tone.

Brad realized he didn't need to push anymore, but turned to her with a very serious look in his eyes and said to her, "Meredith, if you ever want to talk . . . you know I am a good listener. . . "

Meredith sighed. She knew Brad was a decent guy. He wasn't trying to pry, he just was asking a question to make small talk and she totally freaked out . . . it is what she does.

"Thanks Brad. . . I am sorry. . . I freaked out. . . But, please don't mention to Alex I freaked out a little. I am not ready to say anything yet, but maybe one day. . . "

Brad just looked at her . . . he slept with this woman and instantly regretted it. She was a great girl who didn't deserve that – a drunken night with him and he hoped they could become friends now that she was living there—he knew that would be all it was. . . there was no romantic feelings on either part. He knew that Alex suddenly left the bar one night about 7 months ago in a panic. He returned and didn't say much, but he knew it had to do with Meredith and it wasn't good. He saw Alex become a recluse for a few months. He showed up to the track, but didn't say much to anyone. He asked him a few times if everything was ok, and Alex responded every time with a "it will be" or "hopefully."

Meredith left the track . . . feeling . . . disappointed. She didn't want to feel disappointed. She loved coming to the track to help Alex. . . she was just hoping to see someone she hadn't seen in a day and it looked like it would be another day until she saw him. . .

57


	23. Hardcore at the Races

"Damn it. . . I should have gone to the track yesterday and ran the car. . . " Derek told Mark as they were pulling up to the track a few hours than normal to check a few things out. Derek and a few crew members went to the track Thursday after his classes to do a few run-throughs with the car, but they only stayed for a little less than an hour.

He knew he would get to see Meredith tonight . . . well, he hoped he she was coming to the race. It was going to be hard . . . very hard to keep his eyes off of her. He knew she would be perfect . . . he doesn't know how he is going to be able to concentrate after taking one look at her. He almost wished he would have seen her around during the last few days so he wouldn't be so eager to see her. He needed to focus on the race that would be in hours from now. He wanted to call her during the last few days—he had her phone number from when he used her phone to call Cristina. For the first time in his life, he wasn't sure what would be best when it came to Meredith Grey at this point. He knew he would see her for sure in class and hoped to see her tonight. He knew he had to go slow, but how slow? He would ask her for another dinner study date—very soon. . .

"Yeah, I heard Alex had the track for 2 hours on Friday afternoon." Mark said.

Both of them just walked in silence for a minute or so. . .

"What do you think about Alex. . . I mean . . . you also have him in your class. . . " Derek asks, deep in thought.

"I think he is a cocky ass, but he loves his sister very much—they have this strange, close relationship. He protects her to no end—even in class. The rest of him. . . He is like . . . well, kind of like a mixture of us. . . "

Derek laughed softly. . . "You know. . . I never thought about it like that. But, you are kind of right." Alex was very protective of his sister—something that Derek was well aware of, but would be the exact same way given the same situation. He understood this about Alex and thinking back, he understands a little more why he told him to stay away from her. He is also like Mark . . . they are both man whores and cocky; although, he was shocked that he hadn't noticed him walking around campus with any hot girls, just Cristina and/or Meredith.

"So, are you staying away from her like he asked?" Mark asked a little cautiously. He knew something serious went down the other night when Meredith was over. He actually came home to hear her crying and them talking in his bedroom and decided to leave—he didn't want to pry nor break up the conversation. He left as soon as he walked in and didn't even grab any other clothes. He crashed with one of the crew members—he never stayed the night with his fuck partner, whose name he couldn't ever remember . . . He was surprised that she stayed all night, but she figured it was too late for her to drive after she had been. . . what sounded like. . . really upset. Derek was happy when he came home that morning, but he also snapped at him and asked him to be . . . un-Mark like.

Derek sighed. He tried not to think about this as he had no idea what he was going to do yet. He knew he wasn't going to stay away from her, he couldn't . . . they were lab partners . . . and he had to show her . . . show her all men would not leave. . . She deserves to be happy and he wanted to give her that. "It is . . . complicated." He stated.

Mark figured this was true, just from the little he had seen. "You know I am behind you all the way . . . whatever you need . . . if you need to talk. . . "

"I know. . . thanks. . . not ready to talk right now, but Mark. . . I . . . want. . . I may. . . I mean . . . she is amazing and I definitely want to . . . get to know her . . . spend time with her. . . lo. . . " He stopped before he said another word.

They both looked up at each other. . . Derek couldn't believe he almost said love . . . but he definitely did. At the same instant, Mark couldn't believe he almost said it out loud. He knew Derek had it bad for her, but . . . this was big. "It is big. . ." Mark said.

"It is." Derek said, then added, "She will be ok . . . we will be ok . . . everyone just needs time to get adjusted."

"Do you think Alex just needs to adjust?"

"I am hoping. . . If he loves Mer like I think . . . not think . . . know he does . . . he will come around. There is something Mark . . . and you are right . . . it is big."

Mark was happy for the man who was the closest family he had. He smiled and said. . . "Well, let's just give Alex one more thing to hate you for . . . let's kick some ass."

"Definitely . . . kick some ass." Derek said a little less convincingly. . . He wanted to win—he always wanted to win, but he couldn't quit thinking about Meredith. . . He wondered if she would be at the track. . . He knew if he saw her. . . he would have a hard time concentrating on the race at hand. . . he was definitely thinking of another race he needed to win.

---------------------------

Izzie called Meredith early in the day to get the plans for the night. Cristina was really pissed Meredith invited the girl that seemed more like a nurse than a doctor. Meredith had to hear about it all last night and today. . .

Meredith decided it would be best for them to go in one car . . . she just hoped Cristina would be nice—but knew that was a slim chance. They had decided to go to The Temple after the race. She knew Alex and Brad would come no matter what the outcome of the race was . . . she hoped another driver would also be coming. . .

"Will you please hurry your ass up . . . we still have to go and get Izzie. " Meredith yelled to Cristina through the condo.

"Get your panties out of a bunch . . . well . . . actually get your thong out of your ass. We wouldn't have to worry about it if the overly happy, obnoxious person wasn't coming with us."

Meredith just sighed as she headed downstairs waiting for Cristina so they could leave. She didn't mind picking Izzie up because she was on the way to the track. . .

"You girls look great. . . " Izzie said cheerfully as she got in the VW Touareg that Meredith drove.

"Thanks . . .you look amazing also." Meredith complimented causing Cristina to roll her eyes.

"Thanks again for inviting me. I have never been to a race before and not sure what to expect." Izzie said excitedly. Meredith smiled—she knew Cristina was really getting pissed. She loved her person, but sometimes, she was just too much. . .

"Well, it is loud and smelly, so don't expect much." Cristina curtly replied back.

"Oh . . . well, that sounds exciting. So, Meredith . . . your brother . . . is he any good?"

"Don't you know anything . . . he is only the best driver . . . maybe Meredith has a different opinion though. . . McDreamy may. . . " Cristina said but was cut off by Meredith.

"Cristina . . . shut the hell up!" Meredith yelled. Izzie had questions about Derek the other day but Meredith just wasn't ready to tell anyone else about well . . . there was nothing to tell . . . there was everything to tell. She didn't want Alex to find out before she was ready and she wasn't ready yet.

"Who is McDreamy?" Izzie asked curious.

"You know him actually. . . " Cristina said before Meredith could say anything. She was trying to get Meredith back for inviting Izzie, but she was starting to really piss Meredith off.

"He is just another driver who is pretty nice on the eyes." Meredith said glancing at Cristina with a look of warning. She wished he was just another driver who was nice on the eyes. . .

"Whatever you say . . . we both know it is way more than that" Cristina murmured under her breath.

"I can't wait to see some man candy . . . oh my gosh. . . McDreamy is Derek. . . right? You so do have a thing for him." Izzie said knowing she was right. She knew yesterday when they talked Meredith was holding back. She didn't know why because he was hot, smart, a race car driver, and seemed to really like her from the little bit she noticed a few days ago.

"I do not! He is just my lab partner . . . and happens to be my brother's racing competitor . . . and happens to have an amazing ass . . . and smile that makes my knees. . . SHIT!" Meredith said loudly as she couldn't believe she just said those things out loud. She just stopped herself when she realized what she was saying. He did make her knees buckle with that smile of his. . .

"That tells it all. So, I don't understand the problem" Izzie said smiling.

Cristina laughed, "Just the simple fact that her brother would kill him . . . yeah . . . no problem . . .Don't you realize anything on your own. " She said rudely.

Meredith just rolled her eyes at Cristina. "Izzie. . . please don't say anything. . . Cris is right, my brother doesn't know and wouldn't like it—at all. He will find out, but right now, he doesn't even know we are lab partners and I am not ready to tell him."

"You can't keep this from him . . . he is going to find out—you can't help who your lab partner is." Izzie said helping Meredith in a way Cristina never had. . .Cristina was always sarcastic or a flat out bitch . . . but Izzie. . . she was trying to be helpful and nice.

[iAnd you can't help who you fall in. . . NO, I don't love him. . . I haven't known him long enough . . . but, I do like him and want to get to know him. . . Alex does have to know—soon—very soon because if he finds out from someone other than me, he is going to be more pissed. So, soon. . . [/i "Yeah, I know . . . soon—very soon." Meredith sighed as she said it.

"But. . . " Cristina started to say. Cristina was pissed . . . she wasn't really sure why . . . but how did this blonde bimbo think she was. . .

"No buts Cristina, he needs to know soon. . . " Meredith said confidently giving her a look that said it was time to drop it.

A few minutes later, they pulled up to the track parking in VIP parking as always. Izzie was excited, Meredith was. . . Well, lots of things—happy, nervous, excited, anxious . . . and Cristina was . . . being herself. Alex got an extra pass for Izzie after Meredith begged him. He didn't mind . . . in fact, he was glad Meredith was making girl friends.

They showed up about an hour before race time. As they walked onto the track, they heard someone say Meredith . . . all three turned around and it was Izzie who stood motionless. . .

She knew he was going to be here. . . Meredith told her he would be here, but seeing him outside of school . . . he looked different . . . she didn't know how . . . but something was definitely different about him. . . She thought he was arrogant, cocky, and she had heard some girls talking about him in class . . . about how he slept with any girl. She wouldn't be just another girl; therefore, she was going to fight hard to not give him the time of day.

"Hey there Mark . . . how are you tonight? Are you guys ready to lose—my brother is prepared tonight!" Meredith said definitively.

"We will see about that. . . I have never seen Derek more determined." He wanted to add he was never more determined . . . to go out with the beautiful blonde. He also knew Derek was determined not just to win this race, but to win over her brother so they could just be happy together.

"What are you looking at Mark?" Meredith asked noticing him looking over her.

Mark just stood there looking at Izzie in her amazing blue shirt that hugged every curve perfectly. Meredith turned around and noticed Izzie looking straight back at him. Meredith smiled gently.

Cristina also noticed what was going on. . . "I am not dealing with another pair of eyes. . . ogling over each other. . . this is a race track. . . lots of testosterone. . . not let's go fuck in the car kind of place. . . her and Derek are enough to have to deal with." She said. She liked Alex, but she just wasn't the person to show her emotion the ways others did.

"Cristina, why don't we go and find Alex. . ." Meredith said forcefully as she grabbed her and walked off.

"I didn't know you were coming tonight." Mark said quickly as he took a few steps towards her.

"Mer asked me. I definitely didn't know you would be here or I would have thought twice about it." She said strongly, hoping he didn't notice how nervous she was. . . She lied to him though. . . Meredith told her he was Derek's pit boss, she just hoped she wouldn't see him . . . she figured he would be busy . . . being the boss or something. She wasn't exactly sure what it is he does . . . but she figured it was something to do with Derek and helping him. She would ask Meredith later . . . maybe when Cristina wasn't around if that were ever the case. She realized Cristina didn't like her, but she didn't know why. Izzie was smart—graduated #1 in her class. . .

Mark had no idea what to say. . . he wasn't use to girls doing this. . . they usually fell at his feet . . . the second time he has seen her outside of class where they could actually talk and she seems completely uninterested. For the first time ever, he wanted to take a girl out on a date . . . she was not just a love em and leave em type of girl. "I am glad you are here . . . do you know anything about car racing?"

Izzie kind of laughed, "Not a thing, but Cristina said it was loud and smelly . . . so, not much to look forward to I guess."

"First, I wouldn't listen to a word she says, but not untrue information—it just is part of it. . . racing . . . it's very intense. . . I like intense." He starred at her giving her the serious McSteamy face. . .

_Would he stop giving me that damn face . . . it will make it very hard to . . . stay immune to him. . . but, I have to. . . he was the ultimate manwhore according the to girls. . . But, he can't be too bad. . .he is in med school. . . Shit . . . that would put him the category of future doctors and 85 of them are cheaters . . . so, this would not be good . . . but, he is. . .amazing . . . and he just seems different tonight. He has actually been normal. The girls said there were phrases . . . cheesy phrases he used to get them in bed. But, he hasn't used them on me . . . so maybe I am overreacting . . . but, the face. . . _

Neither could say anything after that . . . they just starred for a few seconds at each other, what felt like hours. . . Izzie broke it first, "So . . . um. . . I am going to go . . . find Mer. . . "

"If you have any questions, I can answer them . . . tell you about racing . . . what is happening on the track. . . there is more going on than what the casual observer sees. . ."

"Aren't you a pit boss or something? That seems pretty important—it sounds important. You wouldn't have time for me. . . "

"First of all, I would always make time for you ... I am pretty important though . . . which means I will be directing Derek on the radio – I am basically his eyes. He can't see what is going on around him, just directly in front of him. But, you could always stand up in the box with me. . . "

"I think . . . you will be busy. . . I will sit with Mer. . . I hope Cristina will stop though . . . what a bitch." She would love to stay with him . . . but she wasn't giving in to the McSteamy face. . .

Mark laughed. "Yeah . . . she is pretty hardcore."

"Is that what you call it? Girls call it being a bitch!" Izzie laughed. She found herself having fun. She didn't think he could carry on a normal conversation with a girl without being full of himself, but he being was wonderful—much different than what she thought.

Mark knew he needed to get going down to the pit. . . but, he wanted to talk with Izzie. . . she was talking to him. . . he didn't just talk to girls. . . with Izzie, he wanted to. . . he had no idea what had gotten into him. . . he knew it was a beautiful blonde. "I really enjoyed seeing you here. . . I am glad you came to watch the race tonight. I am also happy we got the chance to talk."

"Yeah, I am too." Izzie smiled at him. She thought they could be friends . . . he was her TA and they would have to talk . . . so, yeah . . . talking is good.

"Oh. . .And don't forget, Derek really is the best no matter what that they say . . . but Mer. .. My guess is she is going to have a hard time deciding on who is best tonight. . . " He said laughing.

"Yeah . . . it seems that way . . . she hasn't really said much about him, but the look she gets. . . " Izzie didn't want to say anymore.

"The look they both get. . .I didn't understand it, but now I totally get it." Mark said honestly. He never once understood that look . . . the feeling . . . but one look at Izzie and he understood it all.


	24. Conflicted at the Races

"Why do you have to be such a bitch sometimes?" Meredith asked Cristina as they were walking to find Alex and the crew.

"I am definitely not . . . the Barbie want-a-be is a dumb ass. I simply state the facts . . . and if that makes me a bitch . . . than so be it." Cristina said nonchalantly.

"I don't understand why you are my person."

"You love me and couldn't live without me. . . " Cristina said laughing.

"For some strange reason, yes, you are right. . .but, I am seriously reconsidering my position." Meredith said half-jokingly. She did love her person, but she has been very unsupportive in the last week about everything.

"So, I am glad you ladies could make it early tonight." Alex yelled over at them as they walked up.

"Uh . . . are you calling me a lady?" Cristina asked.

"Yes, do you have a problem with it?" Alex said challenging her.

"I would not mess with her tonight, she is really pissy. . . " Meredith said.

"Alex, we have the tires down. . . Oh . . . Hi Mer. . . I didn't realize you knew how to be here early." Brad said coming up from behind her causing Mer to turn around.

"Yes, I even went and picked up a friend. You should meet her when she gets back . . . she is talking to someone." Meredith was happy Izzie had come with them and was curious about the look her and Mark shared. . . She saw a similar look in Derek's eyes the first time she saw him.

"I would love to . . . is she hot?"

"Is that all you think about?" Meredith asked laughing.

"Dude, she is hot." Alex said smirking, knowing this would cause a rise out of Cristina. They were always doing that to each other.

"Ok, that blonde bimbo is too . . . blonde . . . and stupid . . . she doesn't know anything." Cristina quickly said.

"I will have to meet her then." Brad said laughing not knowing what to think of Cristina from the few times he has been around her.

As Brad finished his statement, "Um. . . Alex. . . " they heard from behind Brad. Meredith was immediately unable to move or breathe at the sound of that voice . . . a voice she has not heard in 3 days. Brad was blocking any view she would have of him. She wanted to see him, but her body was stiff as a board at the anticipation. She had been longing for this moment since the last time she saw him after class.

"Shit. . . " murmured Alex, realizing who was coming their way. "Derek" He said.

"I was just. . . " He stopped mid sentence as he had to take a deep breathe at the sight of her. . . a beautiful and perfect woman he had not seen in 3 days. He would not have come over here if he would have seen her . . . he couldn't have . . . carrying on a normal conversation with her brother would be impossible with her standing right there.

_Would you stop looking at me like that? My brother is standing right here . . . and I am . . . you are . . . Please stop . . . you are making me want to do things right here for everyone to see . . . which is bad . . . very bad. . .but would be hot . . . very hot. . . NO . . . not with Alex. . . I am not ready . . . but you are perfect. . .and dreamy . . . definitely dreamy. . . I am ready . . . with you . . . only you. . . I want to wrap my arms around you, give you the best good luck kiss you have ever experienced. . . NO . . . stop thinking that way . . .we are getting to know each other. . . good. . . that is really good. . . he has been perfect. . ._ Meredith thought to herself as she broke eye contact with him. . . She quickly glanced to Alex and it was obvious . . . he noticed the look . . . the passion in their eyes.

"Look, I do not have time to dick around with you; spit out what it is you came over here for. I have to prepare to kick your ass out on the track tonight." He really wanted to kick his ass right then and there for the looks he was giving Mer, but knew after his talk with Derek, he would stay away . . . or figured he would. . .

Derek cleared his throat [I Stop looking at me like that? Like you want to take me . . . we aren't ready for that, but you are . . . amazing and that outfit . . . wow. . . I want to take you and. . . BAD. . . I want a good luck kiss from you and I bet it would be amazing . . . you are amazing . . . slow . . . we need to develop a relationship . . . you need . . . deserve that . . . soon . . . you will be ready . . . and it will be amazing. . . DAMN . . . you do things to me . . . stop. . .calm down . . . those eyes. . . Alex . . . came to talk to Alex . . .[/I He had to clear his throat one more time before saying quickly, "I heard you had the track one day this week for 2 hours to get in at least 2 hours of good practice."

"Yeah. . . " Alex said as he was getting pissed watching Derek and his twin sister. He had no idea what it was . . . he thought he made himself clear. But, he noticed something . . . something different in both of them. . . It was clear to him they wanted each other in ways that made Alex's blood boil, but there was also something different than the last time he saw them doing this. . . but, he had no idea what it was.

"I was thinking we could ask the owner of the track for 2 hours a week for the two of us to have the track to ourselves—a time that would fit into both our schedules. Other people are able to come out here for hours of training during the week and we aren't able to. I was just trying to find something that would work for both of us. The owners would not do it weekly for just one of us, but both of us . . . big competitors. . . I think they will do it. . . "

Alex stood there not sure what to say. He had no idea what Derek Shepherd wanted and wouldn't have thought this would be it. It was also obvious he didn't have any clue Meredith was there when he came over because of the way he stopped dead sentence and intensely starred at her. This was Derek trying. They had to work together at school—Derek was his TA. He also had a feeling . . . a sinking feeling that he would not be able to stop his sister and Derek no matter what . . . but, he was not going to make it easy for them. . . he had to make sure he was what she deserved and he just wasn't sure—a doctor was bad enough. . . but, a race car driver on top of that. . . he had so many chances to screw up and he had to make sure that didn't happen. . . he would not see his sister hurt.

Alex sighed; he knew Derek was right about this. . . "I think it is a good idea. We can get together after class Monday and see when would be a good time."

Derek let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He could see the look in Alex's eyes . . . it was a look of warning . . . but this was the first step . . . in the right direction with Alex. He didn't think he would agree, but was glad he did – at least on the track thing.

"Good luck tonight. . . " Derek told Alex while glancing over at Meredith.

"You too. . . " Alex said looking at his sister.

As Derek turned around to leave, Meredith said quietly, "Good luck."

Derek couldn't believe his ears . . . she actually said good luck to him with her brother standing right here. . ."Thanks" Is all he could get out. He also found himself becoming very excited for the second time in minutes. . . He knew it would be a long, hard, night . . . but, she took the first step and that meant more to him than anything else at this second.

-----------------------

"Let me see if I have this straight . . . they go around and around on this track and that is it. . . " Izzie asked curiously after the race started. Meredith decided to sit in between Cristina and Izzie. Izzie was trying to talk as soft as she could so Cristina couldn't hear her. . . Izzie agreed Cristina though, it was very loud.

Meredith caught on that Izzie wanted to know more about racing, but not let Cristina know. "Yes, that is it, but there is a lot more to it than that."

"How?" She asked plainly.

"Well, there are turns and the angles they should make those turns in depend on many things: where the other cars are positioned, the angle of the turn, the grade, and the surface conditions, among other things. That is why Mark's job is so important." Meredith explained.

"I don't even know why you care about this stuff." Cristina said to Meredith and Izzie realizing that Meredith was explaining the sport. She tried to tell Cristina about all of this, but Cristina made it clear she didn't care too much about it.

Meredith, ignoring Cristina's comment, asked "So, you stayed talking with Mark for a few minutes. . . "

"Oh . . . well, he was . . . telling me how great of a pit boss he was. . . Can you believe him? He is so full of himself." She said hoping she was convincing.

"And you think I am buying that?" Meredith asked.

Izzie just looked at her with her mouth open. "Yes . . . no. . . YES . . . you are buying it. . . " She said quickly.

"Ok, that is only fair after you quit asking me questions."

"So, Alex is in the lead right now, right?" Izzie asks after a few minutes of watching.

"Can you not see his lime green car out there in the lead?" Cristina says like she is stupid.

"Yes, that is Alex in front." Meredith said giving a glance to Cristina that begged her to keep her mouth shut.

"And Derek . . . he is a few cars behind." Izzie asked making sure she had it right.

Meredith didn't know what to say . . . he was behind by a few cars and it seemed he just couldn't catch any breaks. But it was still early in the race . . . so, anything could happen. She also was feeling very strange. She normally would be ecstatic with Alex in the lead, but she couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

As the end of the race was getting closer and closer, Meredith was thankful Izzie and Cristina had been able to peacefully co-exist. Izzie had asked questions here and there and for a few minutes, Meredith went to the box to talk to Brad about a turn Alex needed to adjust. He was thankful to Meredith because they couldn't seem to get it right every time Alex got around to it. It cost him the lead. Meredith was really disappointed as now neither of them was in the lead.

As the last few laps started, things started to get very interesting. . . Derek made some sharp moves to get in the #2 spot. Unfortunately, Alex had fallen back to #5, but Derek kept inching closer and closer up.

Meredith stood up to watch the final few laps. She could hardly stand this time of the race—the intensity of the last laps was incredible. Most people were to their feet as they were all watching Derek inch closer and closer driving perfectly around every turn and curve.

Izzie couldn't believe how exciting this had become. She had no idea that races could be so exciting and intense. She noticed Meredith during the entire race—she was intense and obviously loved this sport. Izzie also noticed how much she watched both Alex and Derek. She even messed up a few times and mentioned Derek and what he needed to do to get ahead. . . every time she did. . . she quickly stopped and talked about Alex and what he needed to do.

Cristina didn't stand up . . . she just sat down half paying attention.

_Come on Derek. . . I mean. . . Alex is out and you are . . . about to win . . . turn that corner a little more . . . there ya go. . . come on. . . come on. . ._ Meredith continued to think this through in her head. With the last two laps to go, Derek inched a little closer. . . as he came close to the turn it looked like he could take the guy in the lead, "Come on Derek. . . just think of the victory kiss you. . . SHIT." Meredith didn't even realize she was yelling at this point . . . she was saying it in her head and it just came out. She didn't have time to really think about what she just said. "YOU CAN DO IT. . . COME ON DER. . .YOU ARE ALMOST . . THERE YA GO – YEAH!!!" She was still yelling loudly.

"Derek Shepherd wins!" The announcer says. . .

Izzie and Meredith high five and immediately get down heading to the pit. . . Meredith stops dead in her tracks though. . . Alex. . . She can't go and see Derek. . . She couldn't be excited. . . She had to go and talk to Alex. . . Alex didn't win and that was bad.

"Meredith?" Izzie asked as Cristina was catching up to them.

"Yeah" Meredith replied.

"So, you were going to give McDreamy that victory kiss, but you can't. . . " Cristina said smirking at Meredith.

"For once. . . Shut up."

"Fine. . . I was going to tell you I was going to run interference for you if you wanted to go down to Derek's pit. . . "

"My person decides to show up when I need her. . . " Meredith smiled and headed down with Izzie to Derek's crew.

Mark was getting down from the box the same time Meredith and Izzie jogged up. Meredith gave Mark a hug. Izzie and Mark had a second of starring.

About that time, Derek came driving up. . .

He saw Meredith standing there waiting for him . . . he couldn't believe it. He figured she would be down with Alex. . .

When he got out of the car, their eyes locked. . . He walked towards her slowly. He stopped a few feet away—neither knew what to say. . .

"You are here." Derek says softly.

"Congratulations." Meredith said.

"I didn't think . . . you are here. . . I want to. . . "

"We can't . . . not here. . . Alex is . . . we can't. . . I want to though . . . soon . . . very soon " Meredith says.

"Soon . . . thank you for coming down. . . I know it was . . . thank you. . . " Derek said knowing this was difficult for her to come down to see him when her brother lost. But, she knew to also stay away from Alex for at least 30 minutes because he didn't take losing well. He didn't talk to anyone right after a loss, so she wasn't too worried about it.

"Oh. . . We are going to The Temple tonight and you should come . . . both of you." Meredith suggested.

"We'll be there, I am going to leave very soon . . . maybe we can . . . well, I am going to leave soon." Derek said.

"See you there." Meredith said.

"Can't wait." He said flashing her his gorgeous smile.

"I can't wait either." Mark said.

"You, my friend will have to make sure the car gets put up and everything." Derek said.

"Can't some of the pit crew do it?" Mark asked.

"You usually don't mind. . ." Derek said.

"Tonight. . . I mind." He said looking at Izzie.

Derek noticed this look; he didn't think he would ever see that look in Mark. . . "Let's let Bobbie do it, he is responsible."

"I don't really understand exactly what that means, but it Sounds like a plan to me. . . " Izzie said not realizing how anxious she got waiting to find out if Mark could go.

"I need to go now and make sure. . . Alex. . ." Meredith said.

"Ok. . . " Derek said grinning at her.

He watched her walk off. He couldn't believe it. . . he couldn't believe he won. . . she came to congratulate him. . . the first of the race was so hard for him in more ways than one. . . he was distracted. . . but, now. . . he would see her tonight. . . He knew there would be only one problem. . .


	25. Running Interference

Meredith, Izzie, and Cristina were the first to get to the bar. After Izzie and Meredith left from seeing Derek and Mark, they went to Alex's pit. He didn't want to talk and Meredith wasn't sure if she would even see him tonight at The Temple. He knew he was out maneuvered and that was the worse losses for him; at least it wasn't Derek who out maneuvered him this time and if truth be told, Derek actually tried to help him out on the track. Meredith saw it and was sure Alex realized it also.

Izzie was excited to be going out tonight which she was trying to hide it. She didn't want anyone to realize she wanted to see Mark, although she was pretty sure Meredith got it—just as Izzie got Meredith and Derek. . .

"Drink. . . I have to have a drink to put up with you two tonight ogling over boys. . ." Cristina says the second they get into the bar.

"Come on Cristina. . . you just need to find someone. . . time for you to get laid. . . maybe it will take the edge off." Meredith said laughing.

"Who says I am not getting laid?" She said raising her eyebrows at Meredith.

"You little whore. . . who are you sleeping with?" Meredith asks in shock.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She said laughing just thinking what Meredith would do if she knew the truth.

"Hey there Suds . . . we will have our usual. . . Izzie. . . what do you drink?" Meredith said while turning to Izzie to see what she would like to drink. They didn't know the bartender's actual name, but he earned the nickname rightfully. One night a week or so ago, Cristina and Meredith were talking to the bartender. . . They had been going to the bar once a week together since they met each other their freshman year of college. They went to talk about the week, boys, classes, professors, and anything they felt like. They have always gotten to know the bartender well . . . they learned they got a few drinks taken off of their tab occasionally by talking to the bartenders. So, they asked the bartender at The Temple why he was a bartender. . . He responded that it was the suds on the beer. . . They laughed about this and decided his nickname would be Suds.

"Oh. . . I will have a. . What do you girls drink?" Izzie asked curiously.

"Let me guess, you are a snob drinker?" Cristina says.

"What is a snob drinker?" Izzie asked.

"That answers our question." Cristina says flatly.

"Ignore her, order whatever you want. I am a tequila girl myself." Meredith says.

"I love margarita's." Izzie says happily.

Meredith laughed, not at Izzie, but the fact that she hated Margarita's. . . too diluted. "I actually drink it straight up."

"ARE YOU NUTS?" Izzie shouted in surprise.

"Yes, I probably am. Definitely sorry in the morning." Meredith said giggling as Suds put the first shot down in front of her shaking his head. He had a few customers that drank tequila shots, but she didn't take it with anything . . . He knew she was quite a drinker to be able to do this. She tipped her head back as she took the shot like a pro—she really was a pro when it came to drinking and tequila. . . and usually boys were involved in this equation.

"I am guessing you have never really been out drinking." Cristina says as she starts drinking her whiskey sour, quickly. She needed alcohol in her fast to be able to deal with Izzie.

"Um. . . yeah, I have been. . . lots of times, but. . . I just drink. . .I will have a Cosmo tonight." Izzie said nervously. She partied with the best of them, but only drank cosmo's or fuzzy naval's. . . they were sweet and she couldn't taste too much of the alcohol. . . cosmo's though could get to her quick if she didn't watch it. She hated the taste of beer and most alcohol. . .

"That figures. . . " Cristina said rolling her eyes.

"What in the hell is your problem?" Izzie says loudly and forcefully while looking at Cristina; she had enough of the rude comments.

Meredith flipped around to look at Izzie like she was nuts. This was going to be bad. . .

Cristina looked at Izzie unsure of what to say. . ."Well, maybe you aren't just a fluffy barbie . . . I might like you after all." She said smirking. She didn't think this Barbie-type of girl would ever stand up to anyone . . . especially not her. So, she thought she may not be half bad. . .

Meredith was thankful that was over and Cristina was shocked, but it was exactly what she needed. Meredith always understood that about her . . . she needed someone to call her on her shit. She also knew she liked Izzie, but she just rose to an all-time high.

Meredith turned back around to talk to Suds about the race. Izzie and Cristina joined in the conversation also.

"Hey. . . are you ok?" Suds asks Meredith as she suddenly stopped talking.

The smell . . . she could smell that smell . . . his smell . . . it was. . . definitely his amazing scent. . . a few seconds after that, she felt someone brush up behind her—she knew. . .she knew exactly who it was and if she wouldn't have been sitting, she would have fallen as her knees buckled at the mere thought of him brushing up behind her.

"I want a victory kiss. . . " He huskily said in her ear.

_You can't do this to me. . . we are in a public place and I want to take you, right here, right now and I can't. . . you have to stop . . . Alex. . . he may walk in. . . Quit breathing into my ear . . . on my neck. _Meredith said as it was harder and harder to put together coherent thoughts.

"So. . . " Derek breathed again into her ear.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me . . . Just go and fuck each other already." Cristina said realizing Derek had walked up behind Meredith.

Izzie looked over as Cristina said this and realized Mark sat down on the bar stool next to Izzie. . .

Meredith had no idea what she was going to do. She wanted him or at least to give him a good victory kiss . . . badly! She slowly turned around to face him as he backed up just enough to let her slide around to face him. . .

The second she got around, their eyes locked . . . They both knew what they wanted. . .

"Victory kiss, huh?" Meredith asked breathily.

He just looked at her with his McDreamy smile, barely whispering, "I deserve it."

"You do?" She asked in a questioning voice.

"I hate to break up the verbal sex. . .But, Alex is on his way."

"Shit." Meredith and Derek said at the same time. Derek didn't know how he could contain himself at the bar tonight with Meredith within feet of him. His body was already reacting to her in ways it didn't need to. He knew she was in no way ready for that . . . but, when she was. . . He knew it would be incredible. . .

"Come on, Mark . . . let's go get a table over by the pool table and play a few games. . ." Derek said.

"No, Shep. . . I think I am going to stay here and keep the ladies company. . ."

"Mark. . . let's go. . . now. . . " Derek said with a sound of pleading in his voice. He didn't want to leave. .. In fact, it was the last thing he wanted to do. He knew she wasn't ready to tell Alex yet, but he knew the time would come—soon. He was pleasantly surprised she didn't turn back to hit him when he came up so close to her with her friends around. He figured her friends weren't the problem at all.

"When I am just getting started, you have to ruin all of the fun . . . why don't you just tell Grey you want to fuck his twin sister and get it over with." Mark said smirking as he was getting up to leave. He knew Derek would be pissed, but it was completely true and everyone sitting there knew it.

"I. . . see you later?" Derek said to Meredith with a hit of desperation in his voice. He started to apologize for Mark's comment, but the see you later part just came out. He had no idea how she would respond. . .

"I. . . think. . . I hope. . . I hope so." She got out. She wanted to see him later . . . more than just across the room.

He looked at her one more time before walking off—both disappointed . . . both left wanting. . .

Cristina and Izzie just sat for a few minutes with Meredith. . . She had downed 4 tequila shots in a matter of 5 minutes.

"Well, looks like someone is going to be puking in the morning. . ." Cristina said looking at Meredith.

"Shut the hell up." Meredith replied back already feeling the effects of the shots.

"Hey, Mer, I know. . . I know this is hard for you with Alex and Derek . . . and what to do . . . but, you should really consider slowing down a little." Izzie said in an extremely motherly way.

"Are you her mother now?" Cristina asks rudely.

"No. . . But . . . she is . . . she should be careful. . . " Izzie said. She had seen people drink, but this . . . it was really something.

"She can take it . . . trust me . . . this is nothing." Cristina said flatly.

"Oh. . . " Is all Izzie could say. She didn't know Meredith much yet, but from the look of things, she has had some rough times in her past. She also wondered why she wouldn't tell Alex about Derek. She didn't have any friends that were twins, but learned in biology there was a special bond between most sets, but she suspected there was more to the story of overprotective Alex. . . Anyone with eyes could see those two were . . . perfect . . . indescribable . . . they hadn't known each other long, but there was something . . . very big.

As Meredith took her 6th tequila shot of the night . . . Alex came in. "Hey there Toots . . . it looks like you have already had enough to drink." He said, looking at the bartender and signaled with his hands to cut her off . . .

Meredith was starting to slur her speech and immediately was pissed at Alex for saying anything to her about the amount of alcohol she was consuming. . . "You . . . you are not my . . . mom or whatever . . . you can't tell me what I can and can't drink . . . you can't tell me who I can and can't date . . . in fact, I want to go over and"

Cristina quickly stopped her by putting her hand over her mouth. . . "She is . . . she has had an interesting night. . . I am taking care of her . . . please . . . not tonight." She said pleading with him. Interesting night didn't even begin to cover it . . . she thought Meredith and Derek would have sex right then and there. . . The electricity radiated off of them for everyone to see.

Alex knew Cristina took care of Meredith at all costs. He couldn't help but think something was up . . . but he decided to not worry about it right now.

They sat for a while, drinking, talking, and laughing before Izzie popped up and said, "I am going to go over and talk with Mark . . . he is our TA, so I need to . . . um . . . ask a question. . . " She said as he kept looking at her.

"She totally wants to fuck him." Cristina said as she walked off. . .

Meredith looked over at Izzie, but was met by the eyes . . . the perfect eyes.

"I need to go piss." Alex said plainly, getting up to go to the bathroom.

The second Alex walked off, Cristina said. . . "Just get it over with and go over and fuck him. . . "

"Cristina!" Meredith yelled loudly.

"Just go. . . "

"I can't. . . where would we. . . I can't even hardly talk . . . how am I supposed to . . . even walk . . . and Alex. . . Damn it. . . I want him. . ." She said, their eyes continuing to display their sexual desire for one another.

"Go. . . I will take care of Alex. . . " Cristina said pushing her off of the bar stool causing Meredith to almost fall over, momentarily breaking eye contact with Derek.

The second she got her footing, she looked back up and he was walking toward her, she knew her feet were moving, but she wasn't sure how. . .

"Parking lot. . . " She breathed as she started towards the door. . .

He couldn't move. . . He wasn't sure he heard her right. . . He looked over in the direction of Cristina and saw Alex wasn't there and Cristina smirked and winked her eye at him. . .

Meredith turned back to see if he was coming. . . she didn't have to say a word. . . her eyes said it all and somehow his feet began to move.

They barely make it out of the door when Derek snakes his hands around her as they are walking, whispering in her ear, "So, you want to give me a victory kiss?"

This feeling was amazing . . . one that started at the tip of her head and ran down to her toes . . . her core starting to become more awake by the second. "You are the one who said you wanted one. . . " She said smirking a little before turning around, almost stumbling. . . she was regretting the 6 tequila shots in a little over an hour right about now.

They stared into each other's eyes having no idea how they can have this kind of connection. They barely knew each other . . . but they knew. . .this . . . was something special . . . very special . . . one of a kind special. . .

He ran his hands up her back as she wrapped her hands around his neck playing with the curls around his neck. They slowly leaned in, both licking their lips in anticipation. . . Their lips lightly touch and they pull back slowly to deeply look into each other's eyes.

This was all it took, they crashed into each other with an intensity that neither of them had ever had before. Their tongues dancing around for space . . . to learn every part of the other's mouth. . .

"Derek. . . " she moaned into his mouth, "You are. . . this is. . . wow."

"I know. . . " He moaned back as he moved down her jaw to her neck. She tilted her head allowing him more access to her neck. Her hand moving down his back, grazing his ass before untucking his shirt.

"Mer. . . " He said as his hand went underneath her shirt onto her breast—rolling her nipple in between his fingers. "Are you ok?" He barely moaned out.

"Der. . . don't stop." She said unbuttoning his jeans moving her fingers around the rim of his boxers.

She looked up at him with desire in her eyes and she was met with the same look. They locked lips with more fire . . . more passion than ever before. . . Both sets of hands roaming and learning each body. . .

"Oh. . .Mer. . . " He moaned as her hand grazed the tip of his penis.

"Derek. . . oh god. . . " She responded when he had pulled her top down enough for him to nibble around her breasts.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Meredith and Derek stiffened at the sound—both knowing who it was standing behind them without seeing the person. . .

**Update tomorrow. . . **


	26. The Showdown

"I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS – I TOLD YOU. . . STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER AND WHAT DO YOU DO. . . " He said getting right into Derek's face fighting the urge to punch the shit out of him. 

"ALEX. . . " Meredith yelled getting both men's attention.

Alex took a step back and just looked at her . . . really looked at her and saw it—the look in her eyes . . . pleading with him to stop. He loved her and would do anything for her and right now, her eyes told him to stop. . .

"Alex. . . " Derek said calmly.

"I don't want to fucking hear from you right this second." Alex said sighing as he continued to look at his sister. "Come on. . . we are going home." He went over to Meredith, grabbed her arm and started to lead her away.

"Meredith. . . " She stopped when she heard Derek call her name. Alex tried to pull her along, but she wasn't moving. She looked at Derek then back at Alex . . . she didn't want him to find out this way and she knew he was pissed. . .

Derek was standing in front of her with Alex on the other side of her. "Meredith. . . I am coming with you. . . We all need to. . . "

Meredith just stood as tears started to sting her eyes . . . "Derek. . . " She barely was able get it out. . . "I have. . . I have to do this on my own. . . "

"No. . . Damn it. . . I am not letting you go with him . . . not when he is . . . so angry." Derek told her pleading with her to let him take her home. They all knew she had too much to drink, but Derek didn't drink much just in case he needed to drive her home. Alex had ordered a drink, but didn't drink much of it before his surprised exit. . .

"I will be fucking fine Shepherd and so will she. See . . . what you don't realize. . . I would do anything for her and I need to talk with her . . . just her . . . it is what we do . . . talk to each other . . . tell each other everything. " He said looking at Meredith straight in the eyes. He had so many questions for her and really just wanted to go and talk with her, not him . . .

The tears started coming more and more as she realized he was hurt as much as he was mad. They did tell each other everything and the words . . . they hurt . . . she knew she didn't want him to find out like this . . . especially not like this. . . He has been with her through everything no matter what. . .

"Mer?" Derek looked at Meredith wanting her to tell him that she needed him. . .

"Derek. . . Please . . . he is right . . . he and I need to talk tonight . . . maybe tomorrow." She said through the tears. She knew her and Derek needed to talk as did Alex and Derek . . . but not tonight. She also did need him and want him to be with her; however, it had to be just her and Alex right now.

"But. . . Let me be there for you." Derek said. He wanted to talk to Alex . . . tell him Meredith meant much more to him than a good fuck . . . she was. . . she meant a lot to him. . . he knew without a doubt. . . this may be it for him. . . he only hoped she felt the same way.

"Please. . . please understand." Meredith asked.

"Come on . . . we are going. . . " Alex said forcefully eyeing Derek to stay out of their way as he started leading Meredith towards his car.

"Meredith . . . call me . . . if you need anything. . . I will be there as soon as I can if I need to be." Derek sighed knowing she did have to do this alone, but it didn't mean he had to like it. He also would call her later or text her just to make sure things were ok. He definitely wanted to see her tomorrow and knew he would have to talk to Alex tomorrow before class on Monday.

"She will be fine!" Alex said quickly walking away with Meredith following.

Meredith turned back and mouthed, "Thank you." These words meant many things—for the amazing kiss, for not following her and making this harder on her and Alex, for offering to come if she needed him. She needed both men to understand how she felt. . . She wanted Alex to know Derek was . . . something big. . .she wasn't ready to say more than that right now, but she knew she wanted him in her life in a big way. She wanted Derek to realize Alex is a huge part of her . . . she will not give up any part of her relationship with Alex . . . no matter what, they had to stay close . . .

When Alex and Meredith got to his car, they realized Mark, Izzie, and Cristina had come out and witnessed the encounter. Cristina was the first to come out quickly after Alex with Izzie and Mark realizing everyone was missing and saw Cristina walk out very quickly.

"Here, here are Meredith's keys . . . make sure her car gets home please. . . " Alex said tossing the keys to Cristina who quite drinking after Meredith's 4th tequila shot because she had a feeling it would be along night. . . she just didn't realize how long. . .

The second they got in the car, Alex started, "What the fuck were you thinking?" 

"Can we just wait until we get home. . . I don't want us to wreck." She said trying to hold back the tears. She needed time . . . time to collect her thoughts before she had to speak. She had no idea what she was going to tell him . . . should she tell him how she really felt about him. She wasn't entirely sure how she felt, but she knew for the first time, she thought about getting married, having a family, possibly having kids in the future. These were not things she thought about—ever . . . and in the last few days . . . she couldn't get it out of her head.

"Meredith. . . " He said knowing he should try to cool down a little also before saying something he didn't really mean. . . he needed time to process this. . . to think of what he needed to say to make her understand how he really feels.

They drove the rest of the way home in dead silence. . .you could hear a pin drop. . .and the tension. . .it could cut through glass . . . and the looks they were giving each other . . . If looks could kill. . .

They walk in the condo. . . both stop the second Alex closes the door and face each other— neither knowing what to say but they both knew they had tons to say to each other.

"What in the fuck were you thinking?" Alex said again . . . the same question from the car.

"I don't know. . . Alex. . . I am. . . "

"No, you don't get to apologize." He said flatly.

Tears were starting to fall heavier and heavier down Meredith's face, "Alex. . . I don't know what to say to you so you can understand this."

He sighed heavily, "Well, for starters, what the hell was that tonight . . . what I saw . . . you would have fucked him right there—in the parking lot. You don't deserve . . . a parking lot. . . I knew he was low. . . "

She had no idea how she was going to tell him this, but it just came out. . . "Alex . . . you aren't going to like this, but the parking lot—my idea."

"So, you are back to the old Meredith. . . I guess that is fucking good."

"What did you just say to me?" Meredith looked up with anger . . . the tears still falling, but halting for a second.

"So, what is he, a good fuck . . . a fling . . . what is he? . . . because I told that asshole to stay away from you . . . you are not ready."

"YOU WHAT?? DON'T YOU THINK IT IS TIME TO LET ME MAKE MY OWN FUCKING DECISIONS. WHO SAYS I AM NOT READY—YOU. . . WHAT THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW? HAVE YOU EVEN STOPPED LONG ENOUGH TO LOOK. . . TO WATCH. . . OR ARE YOU BUSY TRYING TO RUN MY LIFE. . . I AM FUCKING FINE AND HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST MONTH OR SO. . . I HAVE BEEN FUCKING GREAT IN THE LAST WEEK, BUT YOU ARE SO WORRIED THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN FUCKING SEE IT." She was yelling, the tears momentarily stopped . . . she had never been this upset at him.

"Meredith. . . I just want to. . . I want to make sure no one hurts you EVER AGAIN and I am not going to apologize for that." He said as calm as he could.

She took a deep breath . . . she knew he meant well and all he wanted was to be there for her... but this was exactly why she did not tell him. . . it wasn't even about Derek being the guy. . . he would be like this with any guy she wanted to date. . . But, the fact it is Derek complicates things a little more. "I don't want you to apologize for it. . . I know you love me and would do anything for me . . . I need you to please try to understand this Alex. . . "

"But, you didn't even give me the chance to understand." Alex said quietly looking up at her straight in the eye.

She breathed heavily continuing to look back at him . . . the tears threatening to fall again because he was right about this . . . other things he may be in the wrong about . . . but not this. . . "Alex, I am . . . sorry about that. . . But . . . you wouldn't have listened."

"Meredith . . . do you have any idea what it was like watching you months ago? It. . . Ripped my heart to pieces. . . I know it was worse for you, but when you hurt, I hurt. . . Meredith. . . I can't see you go through anything like that again."

She looked down . . . it was hard on her, but she never considered what it must have done to him . . . she knew exactly what he was talking about. "I am so sorry Alex" She said, starting to sob uncontrollably.

He went and put her arm around her and pulled her in to a tight hug. "Mer. . . shhhhh. . . you know how much I love you. . . I am just worried . . . he is . . . an ass . . . the women flock to him. . . " Alex said stopping quickly. He knew women flocked to Derek, but he never saw him treat them like a toy . . . not in the way Alex and Mark did.

"He is not an ass. . . " Meredith whispered between sobs.

"How can you be so sure . . . when he finds out . . . about everything . . . he won't stick around . . . guys like him . . . they don't. . ."

"He is not like that." She quickly replied back without thinking . . . like it was instinct.

"Meredith trust me. . . I know about guys like him... They want one thing and one thing only..." Alex said wondering if Derek was different.

"He knows . . . everything." She whispered barely loud enough for Alex to hear. . .

Alex pulled out of the hug and looked at her deeply. . . [iHe knows . . . did I just hear her right . . . she told him. . . Derek . . . she trusted him enough . . . this is big . . . but, he is a guy . . . a typical guy . . . but she told him . . . why would she . . . unless. . . [/i, "You told him? Everything?" He said matching her hushed tone.

"Yes"

"When, I mean . . . that isn't the kind of thing you just say, Oh by the way. . . "

"Ok, before we say anything else, I have things I want to say to you and I need you to be supportive, to listen, and to try . . . to figure this out. Promise me?"

"Meredith. . . I want nothing more than to always support you. . . I promise." He said knowing this was big . . . actually . . . huge for her. He also kept promises he made to her. . .

She knew she had a lot to say and wasn't sure exactly how all of this was going to come out. "Alex. . . I think from the second I saw Derek . . . there was something about him. . . I can't describe it in a way you may understand . . . but, trust me on that. I know you have noticed. . .the looks . . . the first night at The Temple when we were all there and Derek found out we were twins . . . that night was intense. . . then, the first day of classes. . . you noticed I was being weird. . . " She stopped to take a deep breath because she didn't want to say what was next, but knew she had to. . .

"Derek . . . he is in my lab class."

He closed his eyes the second he heard this, shook his head and interrupted her. . . "WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME!"

"Alex. . .You promised. . . I have more . . . to tell you." She pleaded with him.

He took a deep breath, "Ok. . . I am sorry. . . I was just . . . shocked. Keep going."

Taking another deep breath before she started, "Alex . . . he is also my lab partner." They both stop to process this. . . "And . . . " Meredith says knowing he isn't gong to like what is to come. She sees Alex shoot his eyes back up at her quickly. She waited for a few seconds, "The other night. . .My study night. . . It was with Derek . . . and we did study and he cooked dinner. . .and I told him. . . "

"You told him. . . " Alex stated, matter of factly.

"I did. . . "

"Meredith. . . This. . .it is a lot. . .and big. . . I need to process this. I do want you to know. . . I love you and I . . . am amazed at how strong you have become. . . I know sharing that wasn't easy for you . . . so, this. . It must be something. I need you to promise me you will not take anything less than you deserve. . . I want to try. . . I will try Meredith . . . Right now, I am more upset you didn't tell me about any of this . . . not that you actually want to date him, although it pisses me off . . . You have to be open with me . . . talk to me and I will be there, supporting you, every step of the way. " He said, pulling her in for a hug. . . He loved his sister and wanted her to be happy. He knew she wouldn't have told Derek . . . unless . . . she needed to . . . because of her feelings for him. . . Because of this, he had to try . . . try to get to know Derek. There would be a talk . . . very soon. . . If Meredith was going to date him . . . he had to make sure Derek wasn't just another man. . .

"Hey . . . Toots . . . dry the tears. . ." He said.

"Thanks, Speedo. . . I love you."

"I love you too. . . Let's go to sleep. . . " Alex suggested. . .

"Yeah . . . sleep is good. . . I am going to have one hell of a headache in the morning." She said remembering the tequila shots.

"Yeah. . .Oh and Toots. . . don't jump a guy in a parking lot for everyone to see. . . I don't care to see it and I am pretty sure no one else does. . . " He said smiling hoping to get the same from her and smiled a little more when he saw her lips form what looked like the start of a smile. He needed her to know it would be ok . . . eventually. . .

"I will try not to, Speedo . . . " Meredith said feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders as she gave him a kiss on the cheek and went upstairs to her room. . . she had a phone call to make. . .


	27. On the Phone

Derek sat on his couch with a scotch in his hands. When Alex and Meredith left, he wanted to go . . . follow them to her condo. Mark, Izzie, and Cristina stood watching the scene unfold in the parking lot. 

"Hey man, do you want to talk about it?" Mark asked. The two of them drove home in silence after they dropped Izzie off. They all stayed at The Temple about an hour after Meredith and Alex left. Cristina and Izzie stayed because Cristina knew the twins would need some time alone. . . Izzie was ok with it because she found herself enjoying her time with Mark, but was a little subdued given Cristina and Derek's mood.

"I should have gone . . . I need to know that she is ok. . . "

"Call her man. . . "

"No, I told her to call me . . . she will be ok, I just hope Alex . . . he will understand . . . he has to understand. . . I . . . she is amazing. . . I have never been around anyone like her." Derek said not wanting to tell Mark his true fear—that she would decide this was bad . . . whatever this was between Derek and Meredith and he couldn't even think about that right now.

"What if he doesn't?" Mark asked pushing Derek to at least think about this possibility.

Derek sighed. He had no idea what he was going to do . . . he downed the rest of his scotch and got up to pour him a little more. "I don't know Mark . . . but, he is going to have to . . . this thing between Mer and I . . . it isn't going away. . . " He said trying to convince himself of this. . . He knew this thing between them was strong—a strong connection that was unlike any other. . . but, was it enough?

"Wow, man . . . that is serious. . . I don't think I understood until tonight how someone can be like you . . . when they find someone. . . "

Derek looked up, "Izzie?" He said questioningly almost glad they could talk about something other than Meredith because he was going nuts thinking about her.

"No, man . . . what are you talking about. . . I just saw . . . how you looked at Meredith . . . in the parking lot . . . when Alex came."

"You are so lying. I can tell. And, I hope you didn't see much before Alex came out."

"I am so not lying and you can't tell I am lying. . . I am a good liar. And. . . For the record, we didn't come out until after Alex came out to catch you fucking Mer in the parking lot, but I am sure it would have been quite the show. . . " 

"I didn't fuck her . . . and you are a bad liar . . . so, Izzie. . ."

"What about her? She is a hot blonde who would be amazing in. . . " Mark stopped before he said anything. . . she would be amazing in bed, but he wanted to try. . . maybe. . . dating her. . .

"You like her. . . " Derek said looking at his friend with an 'I told you so' look on his face.

Mark sighed. "I have no idea what to do. . . I just fuck girls and that is it. . . I mean. . . I am sure she is amazing at that, but she isn't the type you just . . . she is . . . something. . . "

"You are done for." Derek said grinning at Mark.

"No, I will never be done for." Mark said laughing back at Derek.

"So. . . are you going to ask her out?"

"She is my student in Bailey's class—well, I am just the TA—but there are rules you know. . . "

"Thank god Mer is not in my class. . . " He said immediately thinking about his class—the one he is a TA for. . . "SHIT!"

"What?" Mark asked.

"Alex . . . he is in my class and I will see him Monday. . . I have to go and talk to him . . . before class—I may have to try and see him tomorrow."

"That is going to be. . . " Mark stopped when he heard Derek's phone ringing. . .

"Oh, thank god!" Derek said as picked up his phone from the table to answer it.

"Hello? Meredith?" Derek said hopeful . . . he didn't even bother to look at the caller id.

"Hey. . . " Meredith said.

"I am so glad you called." He said trying to not let the excitement show through too much in his voice. . . He didn't know if she would call him. Now that she has, he had no idea what she was going to tell him. . .

"Yeah. . . " Meredith said not sure where to even start. She came up to her room and got ready for bed. She could really feel the effects of the drinks from The Temple because the adrenaline seemed to quit pumping the second she got upstairs.

They both sat for a few seconds in quiet, unsure what to say.

"Are you alright?" Derek finally asked—he had to know if she was alright.

"I think. . . I am." She said.

Derek let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding when he heard this. "Ok. . . " This was all he could say.

"Ok. . . Did you make it home ok?" Meredith asked. 

"Yeah. . . Mark drove Izzie home . . . and then we came home."

"I guess it is good Cristina didn't take her home. . . I am not sure Cristina likes her too much." Meredith said giggling a little.

Derek couldn't help but smile hearing her giggle . . . the giggle that drove him nuts. "I am not sure Cristina likes anyone."

"She is harmless . . . she is . . . you just have to understand her and I do." Meredith said as they both realize they are skirting around the issue.

"Hopefully I will understand her one day." Derek said hopeful.

"I just wonder what the hell happened, I mean she was supposed to be running interference. . . so, I should be mad at her. . . really pissed that Alex even came out." Meredith said remembering this was the deal at The Temple. Cristina told her she would . . . but, something happened.

"Wow, so she knew . . . you were going to . . . take advantage of me?"

"I did not. . . "

"You did . . . you just need to admit it—you want me." He said with a hint of playfulness in his voice.

"This is exactly the problem with men. . . " She said instinctively.

The line was silent again for a few seconds—neither knowing what exactly to say next. Derek really wanted to know how things went with Alex, but wanted Mer to offer the information. He didn't want to push her. . . "Meredith. . . "

Meredith took a deep breath. She wanted to tell him . . . about everything that happened after they left. "Derek. . . I am not sure where to even start." 

Derek immediately tensed up . . . he thought this was it . . . she was about to tell him she couldn't do this. "Mer. . . Please. . . " He said pleading with her. . . He had to know.

"Ok . . . so, I am going to talk and I need you to listen . . . I just need to get this out without interruptions . . . can you do that?"

"Yes" Derek said swallowing very hard and bracing himself for what she was about to say. . .

Meredith had no idea how this was going to come out, but knew she had to say it. . . "Derek . . . tonight . . . before Alex came out . . . it was amazing—words can't even describe how incredibly perfect it was. . . I have never experienced anything like it. I felt the same thing at your apartment before. . . " She stopped remembering how incredibly perfect that night was. . . he was perfect. . . She continued on when catching her breath, "You . . . are . . . this is something big Derek. . . I feel it but this is complicated. . . "

Derek interrupted her, "Meredith. . . "

She stopped him, "Derek, I have to get this out. . . "

"Ok" He said reluctantly not wanting to hear it. . . he couldn't take it.

"As Alex and I talked, I realized many things . . . with the most important one being . . . you are . . . amazing and as complicated and hard as this may get. . . I want to try this. . . I mean only if you . . . oh god. . . "

Derek sat shocked and didn't know what to say. . . He wasn't even sure if he heard her right . . . he couldn't even say anything . . . she was rambling . . . she was nervous . . . he knew this about her already . . . but, WOW. . .

"Derek . . . are you still there . . . oh god. . . I knew I shouldn't have said anything. . . " She started to freak out. . .

"MEREDITH. . . " He said loudly to get her to stop freaking out as he suddenly came back to his senses and found his voice again.

He waited for her to get quiet to continue, "I am in this. . . I thought . . . the way you were. . . I want this. . . I want you . . . all of you . . . the joys, sorrows, happy, bad, a brother who probably wants to kill me, a best friend who will literally chop it off if I do anything at all to hurt you, the past, the present, and the future. . . I want it all . . . with you. . . " He said not believing he said all of this to her. . . it was too soon. . . she was going to freak out again. . . but, he needed her to know, he was in this. . . there was something. . . a connection that was. . . practically unheard of these days. . . it was more than just physical. . .

Meredith got tears in her eyes. . . "Derek. . . " Is all she could get out.

"Meredith . . . are you ok?"

"Yes. . . I think so. . . "

"Maybe I should be letting you get to sleep, you had quite a bit to drink and. . . Maybe we can have lunch tomorrow . . . or dinner. . . I could cook and we could study or something. If we can. . . "

"Yes. . . I would like that. . . Derek . . . we need to . . . um. . . Alex."

Derek took a breath in knowing they had to talk about this. "How bad is it?"

"It could be worse, much worse."

"So, he isn't on his way over to kill me. . ." Derek said trying to lighten the air worried it would become thick in a matter of seconds.

"No, he isn't, not yet anyway." She said half-joking. He was ok for now, but she knew if Derek ever did anything to hurt her, it would be bad.

"That is good I guess. . . " Derek said hoping he thought this meant what it sounded like—Alex was willing to try. . . let them spend time together, but he knew he couldn't hurt her. . .

"It is good . . . he realizes . . . he didn't at first, but he will come around. He is going to need time to see . . . that we are . . . that you are different than most guys. . . "

"I like to think I am. . . I mean . . . I definitely do not have bimbos the way Mark and . . . " he almost said like Alex. . . but he knew this wouldn't be the time to say that.

"Alex . . . yes, you are different than that. . . I explained that to him . . . he figured when you found out about everything . . . you wouldn't stick around. . . " She said finishing Derek's sentence.

"I am here . . . and I will try to do everything I can to show him that. . . You know, I can't blame him. . . I know if it were one of my sister's, I would be. . . I know it must be hard for him."

"Yes, but, if you do anything bad . . . he is going to kill you and make it look like an accident. . . and I am sure he can get others to join him. . . " She said giggling, both fo them knowing this was true.

Derek sighed. . . He never wanted to hurt her, but no one was perfect. . . "Meredith. . . I am going to do everything I can to never hurt you, but we are going to . . . you know there will be disagreements or small things that. . . I am not perfect. . . "

"Derek. . . I know you aren't perfect and I know there will be bumps along the road . . . but, if you hurt me . . . really hurt me . . . I can't handle that."

"You deserve all of the happiness in the world and I will do everything I can to prove to you I will not hurt you like you have been hurt in the past."

"I hope so. . . " She said as she yawned. . .

"You are tired. . . I should let you go. . ." He said wishing he could be with her . . . holding her close to him letting her fall asleep after her night with Alex. . . He hoped there would be many nights together that they could cuddle. . .

"Will you just stay on the phone with me?" She asked.

"Oh Mer. . . I will stay on the phone with you. . . "

"Ok. . ." She said closing her eyes quickly failing asleep with a comfort she hasn't felt . . . ever. . . She was happy. . . Alex will come around and Derek . . . he is. . .

Derek sat on his end of the phone feeling many different emotions . . . at the present, he was glad Alex is coming around. . . He knew tomorrow would be big . . . he would have to talk to Alex—make sure he was ok to stay in the class. He hoped he would because as much of an ass Dr. Lawrence was, he needed to—he would learn the most from him. Most importantly, he wanted to see Meredith . . . he was overjoyed they wouldn't have to hide anymore from Alex finding out. He wanted to cook dinner again for her tomorrow night. He knew they needed to study for class Monday morning . . . But, he figured she had studied already. . .

He loved just sitting and listening to her breath. . . her breaths getting more and more heavy until she started snoring. . . similar to the way she did the night she stayed at his apartment as she feel asleep. He just smiled thinking about holding her that night as she fell asleep. . . His smile got even bigger listening to her snore . . . he even chuckled when he thought about how such a big noise could come from such a small person. . . They did seem a little heavier tonight, probably due to the alcohol she consumed.

Knowing she was asleep, before hanging up he said, "I am falling in love with you Meredith Grey. . . "


	28. My Head Hurts

**I know this is shortish. . . but the next update is longish. . . so, I had to cut it somewhere and really, this is a scene that stands alone, b/c the next one is a longer scene. I will post it tomorrow. . . if you want. . . **

Meredith rolled over in bed and grumbled . . . she had a massive headache. She looked over at her bedside table and saw a glass of water and some aspirin with a note written in Alex's handwriting, _Figured you could use this. Breakfast is downstairs when you are ready. Love you, Speedo._

She smiled but quickly put her hand on her head. This was his way of saying things would be ok. She was really glad things went better than expected with Alex. Then, there was Derek and the perfect phone call. She couldn't believe he actually said the things he did. She was his past, present, and future. She wasn't sure if she was ready to think about the future with her just starting med school, but she wanted the present with him for sure—the future . . . it would work itself out. She felt comfort in falling to sleep with him on the phone with her.

She decided to get up and head downstairs. Before she left her room, she checked her cell phone for any messages and smiled as she saw she had a text message sent earlier. ..

From: McDreamy

Hope you are doing ok this morning. Lunch or dinner? We need to study.

11/18 8:15am

She smiled at seeing his message and quickly wrote a reply.

To: McDreamy

I have a massive headache, but will be ok. Have you not studied? Shame on you. . . I studied some Friday and Saturday. Maybe I can help you study . . . dinner. Your place?

She smiled as much as she could with her head pounding going downstairs to get something to eat.

"It is good to see you are alive." Cristina says not looking up from her book. She was already studying this morning.

"Yeah." She didn't say anything else. She was pretty pissed at Cristina for Alex coming out to find her and Derek. She was also somewhat relieved Alex knew—she didn't feel like she had to hide anymore.

"Secrets out, huh?" Cristina replied back walking into the kitchen where Meredith was getting a muffin Alex went out and got for them earlier in the morning.

"What the hell happened?" Meredith asked. She was curious why he came running out of The Temple as fast as he did.

"He just. . . I couldn't keep him in. . . He was ready to go." Cristina said hoping Meredith would believe it.

"He had just gotten there, I don't understand."

Cristina sighed. She really wanted to tell her person exactly what was going on. . . They had a fight and Alex was leaving. Alex wanted to tell Meredith about them, but Cristina said there was nothing to tell . . . they were just fucking. Alex got pissed and stormed out. "Yeah . . . it was weird."

"You are so lying to me, but my head hurts too bad to get the truth out of you. And where is Alex?"

"Oh. . . I am not sure. He left a few minutes before you got down here."

"Last night . . . after you left The Temple . . . you and Alex seem to be ok this morning."

"I think we are." That was all Meredith wanted to offer at this point.

"He isn't going to kill him then." She half-laughed.

"No, I don't think so. I think he may understand that Derek is . . . he is something different and that I. . . I mean. . . I do want to get to know him and all."

"Oh god, I think I will be sick having to hear about perfect McDreamy. I just hope he knows I will cut it off if he does anything."

Meredith started laughing thinking about Derek's comment about her last night, "I think he knows."

"So, are we studying today?" Cristina asks.

"UGHH. . . my head is freaking killing me. I don't know if I can right now. Hopefully I will feel better soon."

"You should have stopped after 4. . . You had way too many in such a short time period."

"That was nothing. That is the strange thing."

"But, it has been a while. . . " Cristina said, momentarily looked up at Mer before going back to studying. She hadn't drunk like that for at least a few months.

Meredith poured herself some coffee, got her muffin, and sat down at the table with Cristina.

"Last night. . . I told Alex that Derek knows everything."

Cristina looked back up from the book she was studying. She was sarcastic most of the time, but she knew this was one of those times . . . when she needed to be Meredith's person . . . not the bitch she was most of the time.

"So. . . "

"Alex wasn't happy at first . . . I don't blame him really. You know how we have talked about twins and how I hurt when he is hurting. Remember the race that he got hurt . . . remember how that was for me. There were times that I actually thought it was me. That is how Alex felt during it all with me. He means well . . . but, I should have told him—tried to talk to him. I think he was madder that I didn't tell him." Meredith sighed. She really felt bad about not telling Alex and him having to walk up to find his twin sister's hands down Derek's pants. Then she couldn't help but think of what was in those pants. . .

"Do you think the outcome would have been different if you would have told Alex?"

Meredith thought about this trying to get her thoughts off of Derek, "I think if I would have tried to talk to him, he would not have listened. He told Derek to stay away from me."

Cristina didn't know this and she had to listen to Alex talk about Derek and how he looked at Meredith. She knew if Meredith would have told him sooner, he would have gone nuts. She was trying to help Meredith out when she was alone with Alex and he would talk about Derek and Meredith. She also knew Alex saw something there . . . something different, but wouldn't admit it . . . even to himself. "Meredith, he would have fought it . . . he was able to see the electricity you to have."

"We don't have electricity." She wasn't sure why she was denying this, but this was Cristina.

"You so do, I think I got shocked last night sitting next to you when he walked up behind you. I think there were actual sparks coming off of you."

Meredith laughed. "Please don't make me laugh . . . it makes my head hurt more this morning."

"I speak the truth!"

"You are a lying whore." Meredith said laughing.

They both laughed until Cristina said, "So. . . Alex is really going to try to get along with Shepherd."

"I think so. He realized a few things. Cristina. . ." Meredith stopped because she wasn't sure how her person would react to this, "He is. . . I want this with Derek. Alex. . . he is my brother and I would do anything for him and Derek doesn't change that fact, but he has to try. Derek is going to be around—possibly. . . " Meredith stopped again.

"Mer. . . " Cristina said seeing Meredith look down and bit her lower lip.

"for. . . a long time." She wanted to say forever, but wasn't ready yet. She hadn't known Derek long enough, but she wanted to know him. After talking to Alex last night, then Derek, she realized how much she wanted to be with Derek and hoped that Alex would give it a chance because if asked to choose, she is not sure what the outcome would be. She just hoped she never had to.


	29. We Need To Talk

**I was going to wait and post this in the morning, but I got such a great response in a short time, I thought, why not. . . so here ya go. I am also wanting to get this caught up to where this is over on another board. . . i do have pictures posted on the board of people. . . in this story. . . **

"Something smells good in here." Mark said as he rounded the corner to see what was cooking. "Oh . . . and you are whistling . . . the call must have been a good one last night." He said raising his eyebrows.

"Just happy, Mark . . . that is all."

"So, it went ok. . . "

"I think so."

"Alex isn't going to kill you?"

"Not right now. . . " He said smiling. He knew things could have gone much worse last night, but Meredith really seemed happy and glad to talk to him. He smiled even bigger thinking about her going to sleep, snoring over the phone.

"Man, if that would have been one of your sisters, you would have killed the guy. Remember the time you walked in on Candace and her husband . . . you almost killed him and they were married."

"Correction: they were engaged . . . " Derek said remembering the situation.

"Still . . . you were so pissed." Mark reminded him.

"You were also when I told you about it." He said laughing, "I understand where he is coming from." Derek said a few seconds later getting a serious look on his face.

"I guess, but still. . . Anyone who can't see . . . the spark or whatever it is between you two . . . is blind."

"Wow, Mark that is deep coming from you. I would even say there is a spark or two coming from your direction with Izzie."

"I don't know what to do Derek. I couldn't sleep thinking about it. The rules. . . I just want to say screw the rules, but I have worked too hard getting here to med school and being one of the top students. Man, what in the hell is wrong with me. . . I would consider giving it all up . . . is I fucking nuts?" Mark said shaking his head in disbelief.

"Mark . . . are you ok? Are you sure you are my brother? Did you kidnap him or something?" Derek said laughing.

"I am trying for once to be serious and that is all you can say." Mark said really not sure what to do.

Derek looked at him and knew he was being very serious, "Ok, Mark. . . I am sorry man. Do you want to know what I think?"

"Do you think I am just talking to you about this for your information, of course, I need to know what you think?"

Derek knew this was big for Mark . . . he would never admit that he needed Derek's help unless he was desperate. "I think you should go for it. . . I never thought there would come a time where you even talked about dating a woman or doing anything with a woman other than having sex."

Mark sat down at the bar. . . "I think you may be right. I think I have to go for it. Rules are always made to be broken."

Derek just looked at him with disbelief, "I can't believe it man, I just never thought. . . you are really. . . " Derek said almost laughing at this point.

"Shut the fuck up. I need to see Izzie. I don't have her number. . . " Mark said cutting Derek off from saying anything too crazy.

"You forgot to get her number." Derek asked laughing even harder.

"Yeah . . . new at this, remember, asshole." Mark said looking miserable really not sure what to do.

"You know where she lives." Derek said reminding him they took her home last night.

"Is it ok for . . . me to just . . . show up unannounced or something?"

"She seems like the kind of girl who would be ok with it." Derek smiled.

"Should I take something over to her?" Mark asked looking completely lost.

Derek started to laugh even harder, "You really have no clue."

"Shut up, asshole. . . I do have a clue. . . " He thought for a second, "Ok, I really don't. . . I am in some kind of trouble. She will never want to go out with me. I will screw this up so much."

"Well, you won't ever know if you don't try."

"You are right, I am going to go and shower . . . figure out what I am going to do."

"Ok, man . . . good luck. Maybe you should take over some lunch. . . She did say she was going to be studying today."

"Good idea." He said as he started to get up to go take a shower.

About 30 minutes later, he came back all showered and ready to go.

"Ok, man. . . I think I am going to . . . um . . . go." Mark said nervously.

"Calm down, man." Derek said trying not to laugh at his friend. Derek was enjoying watching his friend uncomfortable . . . this was definitely the first time he had ever seen him like this. Mark was confident at everything they ever done—more confident than Derek at times, but, this . . . it was different.

"What should I get to take over there? I mean . . . chicks . . . what do they eat for lunch?" He said with a serious look on his face.

"First of all, don't call her a . . . chick. Women don't like that! Secondly, get a variety of things and tell her you didn't know what to get her so you came prepared with whatever she may want . . . she will love that . . . romantic and all."

"That is good, Shep. . . how do you know this shit? Oh. . . I forgot . . . you are the king of romance."

"No, I think it was having 4 sisters and a mom who made sure I knew how to be a ladies man . . . too bad it didn't work on you."

"You are lame and for the record, no one can tame Mark Sloan."

"I hate to break it to you my friend, but I think you are being tamed as we speak." Derek said grinning.

Mark sighed, "I think you may be right. Damn it. . . I am going to turn into you."

"And that is a bad thing?" Derek asked.

"Yes, you act all stupid and all . . . the way you look at Mer. . . And whistle . . . and sing in the shower and when you are cooking . . . you can't carry a tune at all! I am stalling and I need to go. How do I look?" Mark said looking back at Derek before heading out the door.

"You look great, snookem's. . . now, leave. . . " He said laughing heading back to the kitchen to clean up his mess.

A few minutes later, he heard the doorbell ring. He shook his head and grinned. As he was opening the door, he said, "Hey Man, I can't believe you are already. . . " He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw who was on the other side of the door.

Derek stood there speechless . . . he had no idea what to say.

"I guess you weren't expecting me."

"I . . . um . . . what you are doing here?" He was shocked to see him.

"We need to talk. . . "

Derek sighed. He knew this was coming, but he wasn't ready. . . "Yeah . . . "

The starred at each other for what seemed like eternity.

"Um. . . you should come in." Derek finally broke the hard stare they both were giving.

Alex stepped through the door taking in the apartment. It was nice like the condo—not like the typical bachelor's pad. It was definitely masculine, but had nice things which made Alex feel a little more comfortable knowing Meredith would be spending time here.

"Look man, I know you are probably wondering why I am here."

"You want to beat my face in . . . " Derek said hopeful Alex would see this as a joke.

"That thought has crossed my mind, but I am pretty sure my sister would. . . " He stopped knowing he didn't want to give Derek too much information, but knew for sure Mer would kill him.

"Well, in that case, do you want a beer. . . I know I could use one." Derek said knowing it would be easier to talk over some beers. It was a man thing.

"Yeah. . . I will have one. As long as you don't drink cheap or light beer." Alex said . . . a man can tell a lot about another man given the kind of beer they drank.

"Only the best." Derek nervously smiled realizing Alex knew his beers which is something Derek knew a lot about as well.

Derek walked back in the room with the beer and motioned for Alex to sit down.

"Look Shepherd, I am not exactly sure what to say to you, but I know we needed to talk. Brad knew where you guys lived. I am sorry to drop in on you, I was going to call, but I thought we needed to talk man to man. Meredith doesn't have a clue I am even here." Alex said eyeing Derek.

"Yes . . . we do need to talk." Derek said wanting Alex to lead this conversation. Being a brother, he knows a little about what Alex is feeling; however, none of his sisters had gone through what Meredith did. He also wasn't as close to any of his sister's as the twins seems to be.

"Meredith told you." Alex said not quite sure how to start this conversation.

Derek couldn't believe he just jumped in with something so big. "Yes, she did." He stated.

"And you are ok with it." Alex said, not as a question, but as a statement.

"Yes. . . I am. She deserves . . . she needs someone who is going to . . . she doesn't need that again . . . she deserves . . . happy." Derek said still nervous where this is going.

"Oh god, she is already rubbing off on you." Alex said almost laughing at Derek and his rambling. He couldn't laugh though; he was still upset about things and needed to talk to Derek about those things.

"What. . . I mean . . . no rubbing or anything . . . " He said unsure about what Alex meant.

"Rambling man . . . you are rambling. I feel like I am talking to Mer."

"She does ramble doesn't she?" He said smiling thinking about how cute the rambling was. She did it when she was nervous and now, he was doing it and was incredibly nervous. He took a deep breath. He needed to talk man to man with Alex and quit being so nervous.

Alex wasn't sure what to say next, things were swirling around in his head. He had so many different emotions. He wanted to be angry with Derek, but he couldn't be. He knew this man was going to be around and he needed to try and figure out how to be ok with it. "I am going to be honest with you. I want to hate you and be angry at you, but Meredith. . . I would do anything for her and right now . . . she wants me to try . . . to be ok with you and her. So, I am going to try, but we need to come to an understanding where she is concerned."

"I wouldn't expect anything different." Derek said a little relieved but still cautious and decided to let Alex continue before saying anything big to him just yet.

"I asked you not to see her . . . that she had enough to deal with right now and still you did." Alex said wanting to see Derek's reaction.

Derek sighed. This was something he hoped Alex wouldn't bring up. "I wanted to. . . I wish I could tell I could stay away from her, but there is something. . . I don't even know how to describe it. She is. . . " He said taking a breath and to see how Alex would react.

"You really like her." Alex said stating a fact realizing more and more that Derek really was in this . . . she wasn't really just a toy for him to play with. He was glad Derek responded the way he did. Meredith needed someone who would fight for her.

Derek smiled thinking about her, "Yes. . . Yes, I do." He said sipping his beer.

"You know, right now, I am more pissed that she didn't even tell me. We tell each other everything. When I saw you guys last night, I was pissed, but talking with her at home . . . she feels the same way about you."

Derek couldn't help but feel the happiness swell up inside of him thinking about her feeling the same way. "I am sorry. . . I never meant to . . . things shouldn't have gotten that carried away in the parking lot . . . you never should have had to found out that way."

"No, I shouldn't have had to see that, but, it is ok. I think I wouldn't have listened if she would have tried to tell me sooner. Maybe it was better this way. . . I was able to see you guys and there is something between you two even I can't deny. I didn't want to admit it and maybe that is what made me that much more upset."

"Alex, are you ok with me dating your sister. I mean. . . I think you realize we have a connection that is . . . strong, but I know how much you mean to her and she needs you to . . . for us to get along . . . and for you to accept us."

"You can't hurt her. . . EVER." Alex looked straight in his eyes warning him. . .

"Alex. . . I do not ever want to hurt her. But, there will be times. . . I think we both can be stubborn and there will be arguments and possibly rough times, but I can promise her and you, I will do everything I can to make sure those times end with great memories." He said with seriousness in his eyes.

"Make sure you do just that." Alex said standing up and extending his hand to Derek.

Derek was shocked at this, but nervously shook his hand with both of them having a look of caution in their eye.

Alex sat down the empty beer bottle and walked out the door.

Derek sat down and let out a big sigh of relief. That had gone much better than he expected. They were not friends, but were definitely taking a step in the right direction.


	30. Time To Talk

Alex drove home in record time . . . he had something he had to do as much as Cristina begged him not to do it last night. He didn't care anymore and if she was pissed, then she was. He realized during his talk with Derek he had to tell her the truth . . . they don't hide things from each other and he was just as guilty. Alex wanted to tell her last night and that is why he stormed out of The Temple in the first place. 

He walked into the condo and noticed Cristina sitting at the table studying and Meredith in the living room watching TV while doing a little studying. He stopped seeing Cristina look up and gave her a look . . . she knew exactly what it meant.

"No . . . " Cristina said quietly not wanting Alex to say anything. She was really worried after Alex found out about Derek and Meredith; he would definitely want to tell her.

Alex just shook his head and went into the living room, "Mer. . . We need to talk, NOW."

Meredith just looked up at him a little shocked. She thought they were ok, "Alex. . . I thought . . . you went and got muffins and you. . . " 

Alex interrupted, "I have something to tell you and I have to get it out and I have no idea how to say this to you. I don't know how you are going to react, but please . . . please understand. I love you so much and I need us to be ok."

Meredith just sat there a little worried, "Alex . . . whatever it is . . . we will be ok. I think after last night . . . if we can get through that. . . "

Cristina walked in the room, "No, Alex. . . " She said pleading with him.

"Shut the hell up." Alex snapped in Cristina's direction.

Meredith sat there and intensely looked back and forth between her person and brother. . . It all made sense to her now. She hadn't been dreaming when she heard Cristina screaming Alex's name . . . they had been acting strange since a few days after they moved in which has been a little over 3 weeks. "You two are fucking."

They both shot their eyes over to Meredith—both speechless as Meredith just made this statement of revelation. No one knew exactly what to say next.

"You so are. . . I mean. . . I heard you guys screaming and I even asked you about it. . . I thought I was dreaming or crazy. . . SHIT . . . you guys hate each other . . . but you don't." Meredith said shaking her head in disbelief although it really wasn't too hard too believe.

Cristina and Alex just stood waiting to see exactly how Meredith was going to react because it was still a little unclear. "YOU ASSHOLE!!!" She yelled at Alex. . . "AND YOU. . . YOU ARE MY PERSON. . . I TOLD YOU EVERYTHING AND YOU. . . "

"Meredith. . . " They both say at the same time as they both take a step forward towards her. 

At that same moment, Alex looked at Cristina, "you knew . . . you knew about her and Derek and you . . . you didn't say a word. . . "

"IS THAT ALL YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT?" Meredith asked Alex. He didn't respond so Meredith took a deep breath before continuing trying to calm down a little, "Alex . . . you . . . last night you said . . . you were most disappointed for me not telling you and you . . . you who is supposed to be my person. . . who I tell everything to. . . I can't believe both of you. The two people who know my deepest darkest . . . everything . . . and THIS. . . You couldn't just tell me. . . I realize I did the same thing, but this. . . LOW BLOW."

"Meredith. . . " Cristina said as Meredith turned to go upstairs.

Meredith stopped and turned around. . . "Why should I listen to anything you have to say?"

"It really isn't anything . . . we aren't in a . . . we aren't anything. . . "

Meredith looked at her and then to Alex who looked at Cristina with hurt in his eyes. . . Meredith had seen a change in Alex over the last few weeks. He didn't talk about many other girls; he wasn't . . . the manwhore he usually was . . . he didn't even try to hit on Izzie which Meredith found strange, but it all makes sense now . . . and now she knows why. . . Cristina and she stands there and says it was nothing. Meredith knew the three of them would get past this, but she needed time.

"Listen . . . both of you. . . I am not happy with either of you . . . and right now, I am REALLY pissed . . . and I need some time . . . to think. I am going to go upstairs, take a shower, get some things together and leave for at least tonight . . . possibly longer." She paused and looked back and forth between the two of them, "It also seems like you two could use some time. . . "

"Meredith. . .You don't have to leave. Please, don't go. We need to. . ." Alex said.

"We have nothing to do. I will be ok, but I need some time to process this. I do believe you two need to figure out what it is between you also." She said looking at Cristina; she was pretty sure where her brother stood by watching his expression. She wanted to be excited for him, but Cristina . . . she wasn't the girlfriend type. . . and right now. . . she isn't sure if Cristina is scared of a relationship or really saw it as only screwing. . .

Meredith started back up the stairs when Alex walked briskly over to her, he stopped within a foot at her and she turned around. He pulled her tight to his chest wrapping his hands around her, "I love you and I am sorry . . . you have no idea how much. You need to know that I just got back from Shepherd's and things are . . . ok."

She pulled back from his embrace and looked up into his eyes. She knew . . . he was really ok with this, or he was trying to be. She then slid back into his arms and said. . . "I love you too. . . I just need . . . time . . . you need to figure this out with her. She is my person, but she is Cristina. . . " She said only loud enough for him to hear.

He knew exactly what she was saying and had been thinking about this the last few days. . . was she ever going to want to settle down or be a couple. . . these were the kinds of things running through his head. Now, he had a whole new revelation in the last 5 minutes. . . Meredith tells her everything and she needed that, but Cristina would always be loyal Meredith . . . no matter what and it wasn't something he was sure he could measure up to . . . even if he tried his hardest.

Meredith finished her shower and got her things together. She had such an adrenaline rush, she had forgotten about her awful headache that was quickly resurfacing as she sat on her bed for a second thinking about where she would go. She knew she needed to leave, even if it was for one night, but she had no idea where to go. She got her cell phone and started dialing.

"Hello?" Meredith heard the voice on the other line.

"Hey, how are you this morning?" Meredith asked.

"I am good . . . how . . . how are you doing after . . . last night?" Izzie asked curiously.

Meredith didn't know what to say over the phone. Her leaving had nothing to do with last night and what Alex saw . . . but, she didn't want to get into that over the phone. "Izz. . .I know we just met each other or whatever . . . but, I need a place to go right now and to stay tonight. . . I won't be any trouble or anything. . . "

"Oh Meredith . . . it was that bad?" Izzie asked sympathetically.

Meredith sighed. "It actually doesn't have to do with last night. I will talk to you when I get over there. . . I mean . . . if I can stay. I won't even be there this evening as I am going to study and have dinner with. . . Derek." 

"Ok. . . I do have company right now though, but come on over now! I would love to have you over." Izzie said excited.

"Oh. . . if you have company I can just. . .I can go to. . ." 

Izzie cut her off, "Get your ass over here now. . . I am sure Mark won't mind."

Now it was Meredith's turn to cut her off, "Mark?" She said with a smile on her face.

"Maybe." She said playfully.

"I should definitely leave you 2 alone; I will just go to the library."

"NO, you are coming over – you need to come over before . . . you know." Izzie said whispering the last part.

Meredith knew what Izzie meant—they were attracted to each other and were having a hard time controlling themselves. . . "Ok. . . I will need to study some this afternoon . . . should I bring lunch over?"

"Oh . . . actually Mark brought some, but there is more than enough for you." Izzie said giggling.

"What is so funny?"

"Well, let's just say Mark wanted to be prepared for anything I might want. . . "

Meredith joined in the laughter. . . "He must really like you. . . "

Izzie quickly quit laughing thinking about Meredith's conversation . . . "See you soon?" She asked.

"Yeah . . . my stuff is together and I will be leaving in a second. See you then."

"Bye." Izzie said.

Meredith gathered her things and got ready to leave. She was nervous they would try to stop her from leaving, but she also thinks they realize they need to let her do this. She walked downstairs to get ready to leave. Both of them were sitting at the kitchen table. They both stood up at the same time and Meredith stopped a few feet away from them. "I am staying at Izzie's tonight. I will be ok, please . . . let me go right now. I will see you guys in class tomorrow." 

"Mer . . . " They both said at the same time.

"Meredith . . . please . . . we are both sorry. You really don't have to go." Cristina said.

Meredith sighed. "I know. . . I am not mad . . . but, you both should know as well as anyone. . . I need time to think and really . . . you guys need some time without me around. You guys have been sneaking around and I just think . . . you need to talk about things—both of you!"

Alex walked up as Meredith moved towards the door; he gave her a big hug. . . "I love you, and I am really sorry."

"I know Alex. . . I love you to and things will be fine. I just need to go though. I have to study tonight anyway."

He stood back to look at her, "With a certain lab partner?"

"Alex. . . we have to. . . "

"I realize you do, but, are you really staying at Izzie's?"

"If I weren't, you wouldn't have any right to say anything." She said with a very serious expression.

"I know. . . I just. . . I am trying and if you do stay with . . . him . . . just . . . be careful."

"I will. . . I promise."

She gave him a kiss on the cheek, turned to Cristina and looked back and forth between the two, "I love you both and I want the best for both of you. . . I don't want this becoming between either of our relationships and I don't want you to hurt each other." She said knowing this would really be hard for her no matter what is decided. Her person and her brother . . . two of the most important people to her. . . She knew her person well and just wasn't sure about her with Alex . . . but, she would be willing to give it a try if they decided to make a go of it.

They just nodded at Meredith as she walked out of the door.

"So . . . we need to talk. But, right now, I need some time to think—a few hours." Alex said to Cristina the second the door closed. She just nodded her head because she also had a lot to think about. He went and changed clothes to go to the gym . . . it was his time to think and he had a lot to think about.


	31. To get books to Studay

**You are getting a longer than normal update. . . I am wanting to get this caught up over on this board. . . When it is caught up, the chapters may not be as long and/or updates may not be as frequent. . . but, enjoy for now. . . some of these next one's are pretty fun!**

"Did I hear we are getting some company?" Mark asked a little disappointed.

"Yes. . .Meredith." Izzie said trying to see the response from Mark.

"Damn. . . I was hoping to get you in bed sometime today. . . " He said half-jokingly.

"So that was the real reason for all of the wonderful lunch choices." She said in a flirting but cautious tone.

"Is it working?" He said giving her the smile. . .

"Never . . . your . . . that look doesn't work on me. . . I am immune." She said as he took a step forward to her never breaking eye contact.

"Really . . . let's test it out. . . " He breathed out as he stopped within a foot of her.

"We . . . can't . . . you are. . . " She was trying to get the words out before he devoured her lips with all of the passion that had been building since the second he laid eyes on her. He wanted to take her like the second he walked into the apartment but had to contain himself, but with Meredith coming he had to. . .

Their tongues danced together exploring . . . wanting to explore.

"Mark. . . " Izzie moaned in his mouth. She knew this should stop . . . both of them had too much to risk, but right now . . . she couldn't.

"God, you are . . . amazing." Mark said pulling away momentarily.

"Yeah. . . " She tried to catch her breath . . . both of them tried to catch their breath.

"Are you going to take back the 'I'm immune'?" Mark asked raising his eyebrows at her flashing her . . . the smile . . . the one that was intense.

Izzie just smiled back at him . . . after a few seconds, she said, "Meredith is coming soon." She decided she needed to step away and went to clean up their lunch.

"Yes, she is . . . what is she coming for anyway . . . is everything ok? She called Derek last night. . ." He didn't stay up long enough to talk to Derek about the conversation and it didn't come up this morning. He hoped everything was ok.

"Was she ok?" Izzie asked.

"Oh. . . I am not sure. I haven't talked to Derek about it. Maybe I could call him to make sure just so we know exactly what is going on before she comes over. I mean. . . If it were one of the sisters. . . I would have gone nuts also . . . they were practically fucking in the parking lot . . . in front of anyone who was interested. . . only Shep." He said smirking. It was more something that Mark would do—not Derek.

"Yeah . . . maybe you should call Derek. I mean, it would be good to know for sure before she gets here. . . I think she is staying the night although she said she was going to go to Derek's to study."

"Ok. . . " Mark said as he was dialing his number.

"Hello." Derek said.

"Hey, I have a question for you man."

"What is it?"

"Well, Meredith called Izzie a few minutes ago and is on her way over. I guess she is planning on staying the night . . . something happened. Was she ok last night when you talked with her?"

"She is coming there . . . we are supposed to study tonight." Derek said a little hurt.

"Come on, Shep. . . Do you really think she wouldn't come . . . she told Izzie she wouldn't even be here tonight . . . because she had plans with you."

"Oh . . . ok . . . back to your original question—yes, she said things would be fine . . . and Alex came over."

"WHAT?" Mark asked wondering if he heard Derek correctly.

"Yeah . . . it was actually a good conversation. We shared a beer and came to an understanding I thought. I wonder what the hell happened." He said really curious why she needed a place to stay. He had to find out.

"I don't know, but something isn't right."

"Thanks for calling . . . and letting me know." Derek said.

"Derek. . . I was calling to ask if she was ok, not to tell you." Mark said a little nervous about what Derek was going to do.

"I know . . . but thanks."

"See you later." Mark said as he hung up the phone.

Derek knew exactly what he had to do . . . the second he hung up the phone, he was dialing.

"Hey there. . . " Meredith said seeing it was Derek calling.

He could tell there was a smile on her face by the way her voice sounded which made him feel much better about things, "So . . . what are you up to?" He knew she was on her way to Izzie's if Mark's information was correct.

"I am on my way to Izzie's." She said as Derek realized her voice had changed and he figured the smile was gone as fast as it formed.

"Mer. . . Are you ok?" He asked.

"Oh . . . um . . . yeah. . . I am just fine . . . absolutely good."

Derek sighed. She definitely was not ok. "You are not ok."

"Yes. . . I am fine. . . I said that. FINE!" She said emphasizing the fine part.

"You are not ok, you can talk to me." Derek said very sincere.

"Alex and Cristina are fucking or something. . . " She just blurted out.

Derek was speechless and didn't know what to say. He knew enough to know these two people may be two of the most important people to Meredith and he had no idea how she felt about them. . . together or whatever they were. He also didn't know how to respond, but knew she sounded upset. "Meredith, you don't need to drive . . . you are upset. Why don't you stop and let me come and get you. Where are you?"

"NO. . . I am fine. . . Izzie's is close." She said determined to go to Izzie's.

He sighed again knowing this was not going to be easy . . . she was determined, but it was something he loved about her. He hadn't found anything he didn't love about her, "Mer. . . Please at least come over here. We can talk about it or not . . . we can do whatever you want."

She did want to go over there. She wanted to call him first knowing he would welcome her over in a second, but she didn't want to depend on him in that way. "Derek. . . "

"What do you have to lose? We can have some lunch . . . study . . . we can have a nice dinner. You were supposed to come in a few hours anyway. . . "

She thought for a second. She really needed him . . . she didn't want to admit that, but she did. She really wasn't sure how she felt. Izzie was nice, but she didn't know her well . . . she hadn't known Derek for a long time, but knew he would be there for her in any way she needed. "Ok. . . I will come on over."

"Try not to sound so excited." He said smiling.

"Oh. . . I am bursting with excitement to come and see you." She said laughing . . . she was already feeling better just thinking about going over to his apartment.

"See you in a few minutes. . . I will get us something together for lunch. . . "

"I can't wait. . . " She said as she hung up the phone.

Meredith turned her car around. . . She was almost to Izzie's. She grew excited just thinking about spending the afternoon and evening with Derek.

Derek hadn't had a chance to go to the grocery store to get the things he would need for dinner. He decided to make one of his specialties. . . Proscuitto wrapped chicken breast with mushroom risotto and asparagus. He would also prepare a spinach salad and wanted to get a good bottle of Bordeaux. But, she was on her way over . . . he wasn't sure what they would do, but he had to call Mark now.

"Hello?" Mark answered curious why Derek was calling him back.

"I just talked to Mer." Derek said but was cut off by Mark.

"WHAT – I told you not to call her. . ."

"Well. . . I am glad I did. She is pretty upset and it is pretty bad."

"Yeah. . . I figured that, but is she ok? Alex isn't being. . . I mean we can kick his ass or whatever if we have to."

Derek smiled thankful his friend would be there if he needed him, "No, Mark. . . I don't think we have to . . . not yet anyway . . . she should be ok, but I was calling to tell you she in on her way over, now."

"Maybe you will finally get laid. . . "

"Mark. . . " He said in a warning tone, but could feel himself getting warm thinking about Meredith. . . being here. . . for the afternoon and evening. He wasn't going to push her in any way. He knew she needed time, but after last night at the bar . . . he thought may be ready. She is the one that grabbed his hand and lead him out there.

"Whatever man, but the little bit I saw at the end . . . you guys would have been well on your way if Alex wouldn't have walked out. . . at least it will be behind close doors this time." He said laughing.

"Listen. . . I wanted to see . . . if you could stay away this afternoon and evening. . . I mean . . . if you need to come home to get your books to study or whatever. . .we will probably go out at some point. . . I didn't get groceries for dinner yet. I was about to go and do that right before you called."

"Woah. . . stop. . . I am sure I can work something out. I can study . . . with Izzie. She just said one of her classes was giving her some trouble."

"I am sure that is all Mark Sloan will the doing with a woman." Derek said laughing.

"Well, there is always time for a first. . . " He said laughing back.

"So. . . "

"Don't worry, Shep. . . I do need to grab some books – Izzie may come with me if that is ok. We were actually talking about studying after Meredith got here."

"That will be fine. . . I am sure you will get a lot of studying done though." Derek said laughing.

"The same goes for you my friend. I'll see you a little later . . . maybe I will text you before I come . . . just to make sure." He said laughing.

At that moment, Derek heard the doorbell. His heart immediately leaped out of his chest at the though of her spending the afternoon and evening with him. He just wished he had more time to plan something wonderful, but he also knew sometimes, afternoons like this . . . were better than anything that was planned.

"Gotta go, Mark." Derek said quickly, hanging up his phone and taking a deep breath before opening the door.

Derek's heart started pounding hard the second he heard the doorbell ring. He took a deep breath before opening the door to see her standing there. . . He wanted to wrap her up in his arms and comfort her.

Meredith looked up into his eyes the second the door opened, a place she could look to for comfort. She did need him right now and she didn't realize it until this second. She immediately took a step into him and pulled him into an embrace—she needed to feel his strong arms around her.

He quickly responded by enveloping her in his arms. He took his right hand to her hair and gently stroked it. She laid her head on his chest. "Come on . . . let's get you inside." Derek said barely loud enough for her to hear after a minute or so of them sharing this tender moment.

She broke away and looked up at him. He noticed the smallest of smiles forming on her lips. "Thank you." She said in a whisper. In return, he gave her the smile . . . the one that was perfect in every way.

He took her hand and led her inside to the couch. He sat down beside her not sure exactly what to say. "I am glad you came over. . . "

"I am too. Being here makes me. . . I feel better. . . " She said smiling at him. She was upset . . . but really glad he called her after he talked to Mark.

"Oh . . . shit. . . I need to call Izzie, I didn't call her back." Meredith said suddenly remembering she didn't call her to let her know she was going to be over later tonight, much later. . .

"I think she knows." Derek said before thinking, immediately looked up at Meredith to make sure she is ok.

"You must have called Mark back." She said smiling a little more this time causing Derek to breathe a sigh of relief.

"Yes . . . so . . . I am going to go ahead and admit it—I don't have groceries yet for dinner, I was actually going to go right before Mark called me."

"Oh . . . you don't have to cook. I mean . . . we can go out to dinner. That would be fine, I am used to that. Let's just do that, we will have more time to study."

"First of all, I am cooking for you and there is nothing you can say to change my mind on that. But we will have to go to the store."

Meredith looked at him. She wasn't used to anyone cooking for her or anything, she is not sure she really has been in a grocery store much except to get sandwich meat, chips, beer, and/or the bear essentials. "Do you mean like a grocery store?" She said almost laughing about it. . .

"Well . . . that is where you normally have to get things to cook." He said before noticing her biting her bottom lip.

"I knew that. . . "

He looked at her and his heart began to swell even more for her . . . she didn't do this, the whole grocery store thing, the normal, day-to-day stuff. He looked at her and smiled again, "Well, the grocery store can be . . . fun."

"Oh yeah?" She said looking up still biting her lip.

"Yeah . . . let's go and I can show you." He said standing up reaching out to take her hand. She smiled up at him and got up off of the couch to go with him. She was nervous about this. She didn't know anything about the grocery store or about cooking for that matter. But, she knew this would be different. She felt very nervous and excited about this. It was something new for her and she wanted new and normal and she really felt that this was exactly where this was heading. She wondered how exciting the grocery store could be . . . but, she figured with Derek, it could be very exciting. . .

Mark wanted to get his books to try and get some studying done this afternoon at Izzie's. He wasn't sure exactly how much studying he could get done . . . but, he would try. He was surprised that Izzie wanted to go with him to get his things. He thought maybe she wanted to see Meredith. She did make some smart ass comment to him about wanting to see how bad the bachelor pad would be. He knew she would be shocked, but this was big for him . . . huge actually because he didn't show women where he lived . . . and if he did, it was for one thing. He wanted that one thing with her, but also wanted to get to know her.

"Hello. . . " Mark called out as he opened the door. He looked around not seeing them anywhere, "Wow. . . Shep already got her in bed. . . " He said as he walked over to Derek's bedroom door that was closed.

Izzie shook her head and followed Mark to the closed door. She couldn't believe it when she saw him put his ear up to the door, "Well . . . no way they are in there . . . not enough noise coming from that room." He said laughing.

Izzie hit him on his arm, "You are so bad." She said while rolling her eyes.

"You have no idea, sweetheart." He said raising his eyebrows.

"I am no one's sweetheart." Izzie said within inches of him.

"Books. . . I am going to get my books." He said. He didn't know if he could keep his hands off of her much longer. She got dangerously close to him that time and he could feel his pants stiffen.

"Yes . . . we wouldn't want to forget why we came now would we?" She said teasing him.

"I never forget what I go for." He said as he turned around to go to his room as she stood in the hallway. He had to get more than his books, to be fully prepared for anything.

He kept a stash of condoms in his bedside table at all times and he never left home without them. . . He had gathered his books and just had one more thing to get. He opened his drawer and got a few different kinds; he also kept a variety of condoms. He wanted to be prepared just in case that moment came at some point today or tonight.

"What will you need those for?" He heard her voice from behind him getting closer to him.

"Oh . . . um . . . well, I just want. . . I don't need them." He said a little worried. He was only getting them just in case, he wanted Izzie. . . hell, who wouldn't, but he thought for the first time ever he may want more than that with a woman.

"If you say so." She said as she reached her hand around his strong middle and grabbed his cock and squeezed lightly. "Are you sure you won't be needing those?" She said breathing into his ear.

He had all he could take, they had been flirting around for the few hours they had been together today. He spun around quickly and took her in his arms and kissed her passionately, shocking both of them.

She walked backwards grabbing his shirt collar as their lips stayed connecting the entire time. When she walked in a few minutes ago, she took a quick look around and knew the bed was straight behind her. . .

Realizing they were almost to the bed, he pushed her down on the bed quickly shedding his shirt hearing her give a slight moan, giving him the ok to keep going.

She ran her hands along the ridges of his toned stomach. He took started to unbutton her shirt, "just get it off . . . rip it off if you have to." She said moaning. . . He ripped it into two with buttons flying off . . . he quickly unclasped her bra and his mouth found her nipple the second it was off. They both were working hard to get the other's pants off while Mark was ravishing her breasts, lightly biting and sucking on them.

Her hand found his cock ready and waiting after his pants were off. "Fuck me . . . now. . . I need you now. . . " She said between breaths.

His hand found her core and he moaned when he felt how ready . . . how wet she was for him. He needed to be inside of her. She had already reached for a condom that had been in his hand and had it open and ready for him. . .

They both moaned loudly when he entered her. "God . . . you are so fucking good." He said while he kissed her hard with his hand on her hard nipple.

It was more than either of them could take and it drove them over the edge.

"Wow. . . " She said, both of them trying to catch their breath.

"You are . . . amazing." He said, not being able to take his eyes off of her. Mark had sex with many women, but nothing had ever been like this. . .

"We should. . . " She started.

"Get going . . . before they get home."

"We have studying to do. . . "

"Yes, I like your kind of studying." He said getting off of the bed to find his clothes.

"Really . . . we have to study – you said you would help me."

"I can always help." He said smiling as he picked up parts of his clothing.

"Seriously. . . " She said looking up at him trying to look annoyed, but, she was far from annoyed.

"What are you going to do about your shirt?" He said while watching her pick up her shirt.

"Well. . .Since you tore it, you will have to pay for it."

"What do you want for repayment?" He said taking a step towards her.

"That may be negotiable . . . give me one of your shirts for now and we will discuss repayment later . . . after studying." She said giving him a seductive smile.

"I like the way you think. . . " He said going over to his dresser and getting out one of his long sleeve t-shirts.

They got their clothes on and Mark got what he needed to study. He also grabbed a few other things as Izzie was in the bathroom just in case he didn't make it back tonight. . .

Meanwhile. . . Derek and Meredith were parking at the grocery store. . .


	32. At the Grocery Store

"So. . . Whole Foods, I guess this is a place for healthy people. . . It sounds healthy." Meredith said as they found a parking spot. 

"It is a great grocery store to shop at. They have all kinds of great things for you." He said looking at her enjoying this time together. It felt perfect in every way—something that he wanted to do with her . . . forever.

"Whatever you say. . . " She said rolling her eyes as a smile formed on her lips. She was excited and nervous all at the same time. She was worried he was about to find out she really knew nothing about this . . . shopping thing. . .normal thing. . .

"What are you doing?" Meredith asked when Derek veered off to the right.

"I am getting a cart." Derek said smiling. At first, he thought Meredith was joking when she said she only came for a few things, but he is beginning to think she was actually serious.

"I knew that, I was just. . . Well . . . when I do come to . . . one of these, I just . . . um . . . fill up my arms and that is all I get." She said looking at him the entire time as he had gotten the cart and stopped right beside her.

Derek wished she would quit biting her lower lip because it made him want her . . . and they were in a grocery store. He knew they would have to study today, but it was going to be hard, very hard to concentrate on studying. His plan was to get home and try to get their studying done this afternoon so they could have the evening to relax with each other.

"So, it seems like you need some education about the grocery store, you are in luck. . . I am just your man to do that..." He said taking a step closer to her becoming inches apart.

"You think?" Her eyes becoming very seductive.

"I know so." He said breathily becoming centimeters apart from her lips.

"You think you are a good teacher?" She whispered feeling her core heat up.

It seemed everything around them stopped and it was only them standing outside the opening to the grocery store. He grazed her lips, "Why don't you find out for yourself." He said challenging her as he cleared his throat and stood back up straight realizing where they were feeling his pants becoming tight. He had to get the thoughts out of his mind . . . bending her over the shopping cart would not be good . . . or at least for the people passing by.

"Yeah. . . I should find . . . out." She said barely able to put a foot in front of the other.

They both took a few deep breaths entering the store.

"Why don't you push the cart . . . this being your first real experience in the grocery store?"

"You want me to take control?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"If you feel up to it." He said challengingly.

"I am always up for it." She said confidently.

They broke the intense stare and looked around the store. Derek noticed she had no idea where to start. "Ok . . . first thing first . . . what is your favorite fruit; we should have some things to snack on as we study. . ."

"Leave it to you to get healthy snacks . . . um. . . Passion Fruit . . . that is my favorite." She said the first thing that came to her mind . . . she wasn't exactly sure why this had popped in her mind, but she had a good idea why.

Derek coughed the second she said this. He was trying to calm himself, but she wasn't helping in any way. He was going to do everything he could to keep calm and not let on that she was getting to him. . . "Passion fruit, huh . . . can you tell me exactly what it is?" He was going to test her. . .

She couldn't believe he just asked her this. . . "Oh . . . well . . . it is a . . . um . . . fruit . . . that is juicy . . . and red. . . I am sure it has to be red." She rambled having no clue really what it was—she just had heard about it.

"Well, you failed this part of the test . . . you will need to study harder."

"Are you going to give me a failing grade?" She asked.

"Tell me about your second favorite fruit. . .Everything you know about it." 

She didn't even have to think a second to come up with what she wanted to say. . . if he was going to play, she was also. . . "Strawberries . . . preferably chocolate covered one's . . . served with whip cream. They are red, juicy, plump, have seeds on them . . . I love when the juices run down my."

"Ok . . . enough . . . you . . . um . . . pass . . . " He had to stop her, he didn't know how he was going to make it through. . .

"We should get some though . . . and I need chocolate and whip cream with them." She said surprising herself how forward she was being, but this . . . it was good and she wanted it—more than she wanted anything else.

"If you think we should." He knowing what he wanted to do with these strawberries. . . chocolate. . . whip cream. . . this was not helping him at all, in fact, he had no idea how he would make it through the store. . .

"Absolutely." She said winking at him.

He smiled watching her look around at everything very curiously. She was pushing the cart and he loved this . . . doing this together . . . it was a very 'couple' thing to do. He knew he wanted that with Meredith and hoped she did also.

"What's next, Mr. Shepherd?" Meredith asked.

He let out a small moan. . . He wished she had not just used that . . . "Veggies . . . we need veggies for the salad and one of the side dishes."

"You eat rabbit food. . . I should have known."

"Healthy food . . . you should eat it also. I have a way to make it mouth-watering." He said taking in every ounce of her. She was perfect without eating her veggies. . .

"You may have to show me . . . so, what do we need?"

Now, it was Derek's turn. . . "The most important thing we need for the salad is the cucumbers. The shape of them makes the presentation of the salad look wonderful."

"What makes them so special?"

"They are very versatile. . . "

"I thought you cut them up to put in the salad."

"Yes . . . you do, but they are good for many uses, you know. Not just salad."

Meredith let out a small grunt . . . she didn't need to think about cucumbers and what they could be used for. She figured Derek would know just how to use them . . . She was dying to find out exactly what he would do with them . . . things he could do to her; but, she also didn't think she would need cucumbers as long as Derek was around. . . He had something that would be unimaginable . . . tasty . . . big. . . Juicy . . . yummy. . . "I didn't realize. . . " She barely got out.

Noticing how flustered she seemingly was, "Again, that is why you need a teacher; I can show you all of the ways. . . " He said raising his eyebrow at her. He wanted her; there was no doubt about that.

"Well, I show you my fruit and you show me your vegetable . . . sounds fair to me. . . "

He shook his head. He couldn't get anything out because he was picturing these 2 items in their cart and all they could do with them.

They were able to get the mushrooms, risotto, and Proscuitto without any 'moments.'

"What else do we need?" Meredith asked. She liked going to the grocery store with Derek . . . she never knew it could be so . . . enlightening.

"Well . . . we need the main part of the dish . . . chicken breasts." The second he said it he closed his eyes momentarily as her breasts came into his mind—they were perfect . . . they were the perfect shape and size. . . he only got to touch them briefly, but it was enough. . . enough to know he wanted his hands on them. . . his mouth licking, sucking, and blowing on them. He was close to them in the parking lot—very close. He can only imagine what her nipples will be like . . . him sucking on them and nipping at them. . .

Meredith noticed the slight bulge beginning to form in his pants . . . she walked up close to him so that no one would notice the growing bulge, "So. . . you need some breasts for supper." She said pushing them against his chest.

"Oh . . . god. . . Mer. . . " He couldn't resist this. . .The feeling he had . . . she was driving him crazy and pushing her breasts against his chest . . . too much for him to handle.

She felt him growing even harder as she pressed up against him more. She reached up behind his neck and brought him to her lips as she kissed the sweet lips . . . she wanted them on her . . . exploring her body. . .

The kiss turned fiery within a matter of seconds and it was only broken up by a grocery worker. . . "Excuse me . . . there are . . children around." The worker said almost embarrassed because it was obvious—the passion surrounding these two. . .

Meredith looked into Derek's eyes as they pulled apart. . . "Later . . . we have to study when we get back . . . but later . . . tonight . . . let's have the evening with each other. But . . . we have to somehow study this afternoon – we have to be prepared for class. . . "

Derek smiled, "Definitely . . . you are right . . . we do have to study . . . but, this evening. . . Mer. . . Will you go out with me tonight?"

She looked at him with a new sparkle in her eyes . . . one he hadn't seen yet, but it was one that he wanted to see . . . forever. . . "I thought we established this already."

"Well, we established studying and dinner, but we never established dinner and not studying this evening. . . "

"I think. . . I would love to. . . " She said smiling as she grabbed his hand.

"Let's get the rest of the things we need and get to studying. . . " He said. . . they both realized it would be hard to study but, they also knew they had to no matter what. Derek and Meredith were serious students and couldn't compromise that. Study now and play later. . .

They checked out, loaded the groceries and headed home. They both were on fire and needed to cool down, so they drove to the apartment in silence trying not to look at each other . . . studying . . . they had to study.


	33. Woman with an Appetite

Derek and Meredith somehow managed to get the groceries put away without succumbing to the desire that had built up at the grocery store. What was even more shocking was they were able to get through 3 hours of studying. There were moments . . . that the stares got intense, but both of them knew the pay-off . . . an evening together without having to worry about studying. 

"Well . . . are you ready to be fed?" Derek asked Meredith as they were finishing their last bit of studying.

"In more ways than one." She looked him straight in the eye. They both had avoided any kind of comments like this over the last few hours . . . but, now . . . was a totally different story.

"I should get started then . . . but, you are going to help me."

"Seriously . . . you want me to help you. . . I don't cook." She said looking at him with the "get real" eyes.

"I can teach you . . . being a teacher is fun." He looked at her raising his eyebrows.

"When will I get to be the teacher?" She said taking a step towards him.

"hmmmm . . . I think that can be arranged very soon." He said taking a step towards her.

"Like now?" She said taking the last step it took for them to be face to face.

"If you think you can handle it." He said in a whisper.

"I can handle anything." She said grabbing the back of his head and forcing her tongue inside his mouth. Derek quickly wrapped his hands around her and pulled her so that her body was up against his as close as it could be. She was ravaging his mouth and tongue, then sucking on his bottom lip. . .

"Oh, god, Mer . . . cook . . . let me cook for you. . .then. . . this. . . great things. . . after dinner . . ." He moaned, both of them feeling how excited he was becoming . . .

She pulled back a little, looking at him seductively. . . "You really think you can cook . . . like this . . . it is going to get hot. . . " She said letting him know she wanted this as much as he did. She knew the last time they were at his apartment . . . she couldn't, but now . . . now was a completely different story. . . Alex knew . . . he was trying . . . Derek was really being great in many ways . . . and she needed this . . . she wanted this . . . BAD.

He sighed knowing it would be hard, but he wanted things to be special . . . not quick and rushed . . . they were both starving, for more than food . . . but, he had thought this out in his head—their first time . . . he had been thinking about it since the first time he laid eyes on her and no matter what . . . he was giving it to her . . . she deserved it all and he wanted to give it to her. He even was able to get a few things ready while he took a study break for a few minutes . . . he spent his time in his bathroom and bedroom getting it ready. . . "I can do it . . . can you?"

"I can do anything I set my mind to." She said continuing to look at him seductively.

[iDamn it . . . she has to stop looking at me like that. . . I won't be able to make it through cooking and eating dinner. . . I just want to take her . . . right now, right here. . . I can't . . . she needs . . . deserves it to be . . . perfect. But, damn, she is hot and I have to calm down . . . tonight . . . tonight will be the best night of my life. . . [/i

"Ok . . . let's cook. . . " He said knowing the heat was going to be intense the entire time.

"Meredith. . . I really do need you to help me."

"I told you, I don't cook . . . but, I know I can help you in many other ways." She said with that look. . .

"You can help me right now. . .With dinner. . . I will need help with other things after dinner." He said looking at her . . . they both knew what he meant by helping later. . .

"I can only help once . . . so, you decide." She said smirking at him.

"You help now . . . and you will also help later . . . you can't resist." He said challenging her.

"We'll see about that . . . what do you want me to do? I am serious, I don't cook. Actually, it isn't about not cooking, I CAN'T cook . . . you know, like burn stuff. I once burned a boiled egg . . . who does that?"

He laughed thinking about how cute she was at this second, "All I want you to do is some cutting . . . can you do that?"

"I want to be a surgeon . . . so what in the hell do you think . . . " She said teasing.

"I want you to cut up and prepare the salad. . . I think you can do that." 

"I can do anything I put my mind to."

Derek gulped knowing she was correct and talking about more than making a salad; he told her what all she needed to do for the salad. . .

"So, the cucumbers . . . what do I do with those?" She asked knowing he had left out what she needed to do with those.

She took one in her mouth and lightly put her lips around it slowly twisting it around with her hand before she bit off the tip of the cucumber. She closed her eyes, "mmmm. . . good. . . very juicy and ripe." She knew exactly what she was doing.

"ohhhhh. . . I am . . . going to. . . I need to start . . . the um. . .chicken. . ." He barely got out watching her seductive eyes draw him in.

"I will just be here working this." She said keeping complete eye contact with him.

He somehow got the risotto and asparagus started and was pan-searing the chicken . . . she was chopping and getting things washed, but she went back to finish chopping the cucumbers. . . He felt himself getting excited imagining her lips around the cucumber . . . he wanted those sweet, succulent lips around him. . . He kept catching glimpses of her; she would chop and then take a bit of the cucumber.

She knew exactly what she was doing. She needed him to know she wanted him . . . badly.

They worked together flawlessly . . . as if they could read each others mind about where to go and how to move around the kitchen together . . . like they had been doing it for years. Derek worked on the cooking part and Meredith got the things he needed after she finished her part. They both found themselves having a wonderful time with each other. The sexual tension still very much present, but they were having fun together . . . something normal couples do in which Meredith knew nothing about, but she figured this was how it worked and she found herself really enjoying this time with Derek. She couldn't wait to see exactly what was underneath all of the clothes, but for now, she couldn't quit smiling just being here with him. . . cooking with him—something she never thought she could enjoy helping with.

When they sat down to eat, Derek grabbed the bottle of wine he bought for dinner and started the conversation. . . "So. . . Mer, you don't cook, why not?"

"Oh . . . well. . . I just don't. I mean, my mother, she never cooked. Our nannies would cook most of the time, or we would just have sandwiches or something. Alex and I . . . when we started driving, we took care of ourselves. Sometimes our older brother would make sure we had dinner or at least food in the house. I am rambling. You don't want to hear about it all."

Derek didn't think his heart could get any bigger for this woman, but it just grew even more. He sat in amazement that someone had to live like this. His family was the all-American family. . . Even after his father died, they ate together and his mom cooked. Anytime he and Mark were home from school, she had a million things waiting for them to eat and made sure they had enough to eat on for at least a few days when returning to school. . . sending enough for everyone else on campus as well. "Meredith. . . I am sorry."

"Don't be. . . I had Alex and that is why . . . we are really close. Bryant was also there for us both . . . a lot."

He could see that she held some pain there, but didn't want to press it further. "So. . . Bryant, tell me about him. . . "

She smiled instantly, "He is married with three amazing children. He has a girl and 2 boys. My niece is 11 going on 18. . . She is beautiful and looks just like him and the two boys . . . loads of trouble, but wonderful! They are 8 and 7."

"Wow . . . they had the boys pretty close together." He said smiling thinking about having children with this perfect woman sitting across from him.

She started laughing. . . "Yes . . . my brother is a smart man, but definitely not smart in that department. The third one . . . not planned. . . " They both chuckled.

"What does he do?"

"He is a professor. . . He is making his way up at the University. . . His specialty area that he does most of his research in is Bio-Chemistry. . . "

"So. . . Science is definitely in your family. . . " He said hoping to meet this brother one day also.

"Ok . . . you have been asking me all of these questions, what about you mister. . . I know you have one sister . . . being I met her, Carrie, but what about the rest of your family."

He was impressed that she remembered her name. They only spoke to each other for a second at the race, but she remembered and that made him smile. . . "My dad died 8 years ago and I thought it would tear my family apart, but it just brought us that much more close together. Mark has been a part of my family since we were 9 years old—he is the adopted child . . . or he likes to think he is. I have 4 sisters and 15 nieces and nephews. . . " He watched Meredith's eyes get big when he said that last part.

Meredith swallowed hard, "Wow . . . that is a lot . . . lots of family. Your family . . . lots of babies and people . . . crap."

He could tell she was getting nervous. "Mer. . . Stop freaking out."

Meredith really had no idea why she was getting so nervous and freaking out . . . it isn't like they are a couple or anything . . . were they? But she was freaking out . . . she didn't do family . . . any family. . . She felt there would be a day . . . that she would meet this family. She actually felt herself hoping. . . But, his family was huge . . . they could have their own circus. "Oh. . . I am not freaking out . . . it isn't like you have a freaking huge family or anything. But, no. . . No freaking out. And right now . . . no reason to meet them. . . I mean . . . we aren't. . . I like you, I mean really like you. . . " She stopped when she saw him giving her his McDreamy smile. . . and a smile started to form on her lips.

Derek smiled even wider at her . .. He hoped she was freaking out because she realized she would have to meet them some day. . . he could only hope. . . the smile that was forming on her mouth was a great sign not to mention the comment. . . , "Meredith, my family. . . they are great and will love you, if. . . I mean . . . one day, maybe you will meet them." 

"Yeah. . . Carrie seemed nice when I met her. . . "

"She was . . . and the rest are too. . . Well . . . there is Nancy. She will be fine once she gets to know you. She is just. . . Nancy. We just let her be." He smiled at her reassuring her things would be fine however they work out. 

"Is she that bad?"

"No. . . But, she is just hard to . . . please. . . I guess you could say. Nothing anyone does is good enough usually. I will be with you every step of the way and I like you . . . in a big way. . . " They both smiled and Derek took her hand across the table and gave her the biggest smile ever. He loved this . . . sitting her with her, having dinner, discussing their families, and the prospect of the rest of the evening.

"We are about done with dinner . . . we have been talking so much, I haven't been able to tell you how amazing this meal is. . . " Meredith said clearing her throat. She couldn't believe she just told him she liked him . . . she even said . . . really like. . . and he said it back to her. . .

"So . . . you like it. Obviously you do . . . you have eaten almost all of it." He chuckled.

She looked down and laughed. . . "Yes, I have haven't I?"

"Have I told you I like a woman with an appetite?" Derek asked raising his eyebrow.

"Then I am just the woman for you." She said half teasing.

"Yes, I think you are." He said with assurance. Making her look down and bit her bottom lip. . .

They took the last few bites in silence, neither knowing what to say.

"I will do the dishes since you. . . I mean you did most of the cooking." Meredith offered.

"That will be good. . . I have some things I need to take care of while you are doing that if that is ok. . . " Derek said knowing this would give him some time to get a few things set up in his room. . .

"That would be fine . . . you do what you need to do and I will be finishing up in here."

He came over to her as her back was turned to him, wrapped his hands around the front of her and said into her ear, "I enjoyed dinner and after you get done with the dishes . . . our night is just beginning." He said leaning around to give her a soft kiss on her cheek before walking out of the kitchen.

She stood there for a second with her head momentarily spinning. She didn't think this night could get any more perfect . . . she had no idea.

**So. . . if I get comments tonight. . . I will post the next part and you will want the next part. . . hmmmmmm **


	34. So Perfect

**So, this update is REALLY long. . . and was in two parts, but I thought. . . I would give it all to you because YOU ARE AWESOME and I HAD 3 NEW COMMENTERS. . . I REALLY love writing this story and I am glad people are enjoying it. . . So, enjoy this. . . And, I expect big props for this one LOL. . . **

Leaving his bedroom, Derek looked back. . . It was perfect. . . He called Mark to make sure he wouldn't be coming home. Mark was Mark and said he would come if he wanted . . . but Derek knew he wouldn't—he was busy working on a perfect evening himself.

Derek made his way back to the kitchen, but stopped when he heard a voice in the living room. . .

"Yeah. . . Izzie. . . It was great. . . I am glad things are going well. . . Well. . . I wanted to call you to tell you not to wait up for me tonight. . . I think. . . I have plans . . . yes, possibly all night. . . I am . . . well . . . probably all night." She said a little nervous.

He was listening to her and couldn't believe he just heard her correctly . . . he hoped she would stay, but didn't know if she actually would. He heard her continue, sounding a little less nervous. . . "I hope you have a good night also. . . I will see you in the in class tomorrow. Bye." He could tell by the way she ended this, she was smiling. . . Izzie must have said something encouraging or funny. . .

The second she hung up the phone, Derek took a deep breath, never did he want something more in his life. He wanted Meredith, all of her . . . he wanted to explore every part of her, know every tiny detail of her body. He wanted to take his time . . . but, he knew it would be hard to control himself. . . He wanted her the first night he laid eyes on her at the track and now . . . she is here . . . a month ago, he never thought she would be here. . .

He walked over to her as her back was still turned so that she couldn't see him approaching her. He looked at her ass and saw how sweet and tight it was . . . he felt himself having a hard time controlling himself already. He tried to take deep breaths as he walked over to her. He wrapped his hands around her and breathed in her ear, "and what do you think you will be doing tonight?"

He felt her stiffen for a second, but immediately relax in his arms, she smiled and said, "you were listening in on my conversation . . . you naughty boy."

"Maybe later you can punish . . . but, not right now . . . tonight . . . is all about you." He said hugging her more tightly.

Meredith turned around slowly to come eye to eye with him. . . She saw the most beautiful blue eyes she has ever seen, she noticed the blue eyes changing before her eyes into dark eyes . . . eyes that were ready to take her.

"You have already done so much . . . it is my turn to repay you. . . " She said as their lips inched closer and closer together.

"We'll see about that." He said his lips so close to hers that he could feel her breath on his lips.

"Derek" She moaned out feeling his hot breath on her lips. . .

"Mer. . . Let me . . . tonight . . . you deserve this . . . relax and enjoy . . . " He said before he closed the rest of the distance between them never breaking the intense lock their eyes held. Their lips crashed together softly as Derek brought his hands to her face and pulled her hair back. . . "You are . . . god. . . " he moaned against her lips, this time pushing his tongue into her mouth to taste her. . .

She moaned wanting her tongue to dance with his. They fight for power as Derek takes over and ravishes her mouth. . . Both moaning in pleasure. . . Her hands go up to sides of his head and pushes him further into her. His hands go down to her waist and he picks her up . . . she instinctively wraps her legs around his waist. . .

The kiss eases a little but, their lips still locked into place. . . "We have to . . . make a stop. . . " he said as he guided them to the kitchen, the entire time keeping focused on her. . . their lips never parting until they get to the refrigerator. . . She kept her legs tightly wrapped around him. He bent down just enough to get the strawberries he washed at some point while he was preparing dinner. Derek went to close the refrigerator. . .

"Don't forget the other stuff that goes with the strawberries. . . " She said in a low growl. He moaned thinking about what they might do with the chocolate and whip cream. . . He quickly gathered those two things, backed her against the counter to steal another passionate, deep kiss from her. He didn't think he could ever get tired of this. . .

"Bedroom . . . now. . . " He said breathily, holding on to her tight with one hand and carrying the strawberries with the other. She had the chocolate and whip cream. . . She grinded her hips a little into his and this caused him to almost drop her and the strawberries. . .

"Please . . . don't do that . . . yet. . . " He said watching her eyes turn a shade darker. .

"What?" She asked innocently knowing exactly what she was doing to him.

"You know exactly. . . " He said not playing her innocent game.

They reached the bedroom and Meredith gasps . . . she couldn't believe what he had done. . . "Derek. . . how did you. . . " she said with tears in her eyes. . . taking in the view around her.

There were at least 50 candles lit around the room . . . all different sizes and shapes. She could only smell one scent . . . the one that was all too familiar to her—her favorite scent . . . lavender. She took a deep breath while noticing the soft jazz playing softly in the background. She has been her once, but it was like she was in a completely different room. He had big, plush pillows on the bed and had a variety of massage oils and lotions out on the bedside table.

He took her over to the bed and laid her down softly. He put the strawberries on the bedside table and took the other items from Meredith. He lay down on the bed beside her and looked deep within her eyes while using his thumb to dry the few, single tear drops that had fallen.

"You . . . this is what you deserve. . . I hope to give more of this to you . . . please let me. . . " Derek said flashing that smile. . . the one that made her melt.

"Derek . . . this . . . it's too much . . . no one has ever . . . you are. . . I don't. . . " Meredith said before Derek put his finger on her mouth, whispering. . . "shhhh. . . listen to me. . . you. . . deserve this and so much more. . . I only hope I can give it all to you. . . Tonight. . .I want it to be perfect for you . . . are you ok with this?" He said tears threatening to fall down his own face.

"Yes. . . I want this more than ever Derek. . . I didn't even realize how much until right now. . ." She said letting a few more tears drop.

Derek dried the few tears again by kissing each of them lightly. . . He then took his hand and brushed the hair off of her face. He then wrapped both hands around her and pulled her closer to him so that they were facing each other.

He leaned in and kissed her very softly on her forehead, then her nose, then each cheek . . . he pulled back and looked deeply in her eyes. . . He bent into her again and kissed her lips softly at first.

She moaned at the touch of his lips on hers. She longed for these lips . . . they kissed lightly before pushing each other further. . .

Derek run his hand along the bottom of her shirt . . . she got butterflies the second she felt the tips of his fingers graze along her stomach and sucked in sharp. His hands worked their way up to her chest lightly touching her lacy bra. . . He slowly flipped her on her back and took off her shirt while keeping eye contact making sure she was ok with every single move he was making.

He gasped the second her shirt was on the floor. "Mer. . . You are beautiful." He quickly leaned down to passionately kissing her as she took his shirt off. He stopped momentarily as she looked at him and ran her fingers over his chest. . .

"You are . . . amazing. . ." Mer said barely above a whisper.

He ran his hands down to her pants . . . keeping eye contact with her. He noticed her nod ever so slightly as he unbuttoned and unzipped her pants. He pulled them down taking in every inch of her. . . He breathed heavily when he noticed what looked like a thong . . . one matching her black lacy bra. He also couldn't help but notice the wet spot already forming. . .

Meredith took this opportunity to take his pants off of him as well . . . slowly undressing each other, piece by piece. She gasped loudly when seeing just how ready he was. . . He smiled down at her before lying on top of her. His lips found her mouth wanting . . . their tongues danced together perfectly. . . He then found his way down her jawbone and into her neck. She tilted her head to the side to give him better access . . . both moaning and letting all of the passion out for each other. He moved down to her collarbone as his hands reached behind her to unclasp her bra.

This gave Meredith time the opportunity to kiss his neck, running her lips along his jawbone and onto his ear . . . sucking the lobe lightly as he moaned immediately at this. She then lightly clenched down on it. . . "Shit, Mer . . . " He said knowing it was going to be hard not to just strip her down and take her . . . fast and hard. . . It was taking everything he had to go slow and perfect. . .that is what they both needed.

The second he got her bra off, he looked at her perfect breasts . . . he had never seen anything so perfect and beautiful. . . "god. . . Mer. . . " He said taking her breasts in both hands and giving them his undivided attention before his mouth found her nipples. . . he lightly sucked and nipped at them. . . taking in how perfect they were.

Meredith closed her eyes before opening them again; she had never felt like this . . . ever. . . "Derek . . . make love to me. . . "

Derek was ready and he figured Meredith was also ready. . . "Anything for you, my love." Neither caring that Derek had just declared Meredith his love. . .

He sat up on his knees and took his boxer briefs off, then taking her panties off noticing the wet mound had grown from the first time he was down there. . . He took a finger to her perfect slit . . . to feel . . . to see if she was as ready as he thought. . . They both moaned at the instant touch. . .

"Shit. . . Mer. . . You are so fucking wet."

"Oh, god, Derek . . . don't stop. . . " She said shaking her head. . . she had no idea how much a touch could send shockwaves through her body. . .

He leaned back down on top of her and kissed her hard, becoming more fiery. . . more passionate than ever before. She was perfect lying underneath him . . . in the most vulnerable position. . . One hand getting her pussy ready for his cock and the other was rolling her nipple in his hands. . .

They broke their kiss just as Meredith could feel the tip of his cock at her entrance. . . They both took a deep breath wanting . . . needing him to be in her . . . filling her. . .

"Derek. . . I need you. . . "

Within one second, he filled her . . . going in very slowly . . . feeling every inch of her wet pussy that was waiting for him. . . "You are . . . so . . . perfect . . . so good. . . " He said knowing how perfect this was. . . it was like the puzzle fit perfectly.

He pulled almost all of the way out of her causing her to moan in anticipation, "Your cock feels so . . . damn perfect. . . " She said running her fingers along his ass which caused him to thrust in and out of her a little faster and harder. . .

They kept their eyes locked on each other the entire time. . . Both on the verge of explosion . . . both not wanting this feeling to end. . .

They were both moaning very loudly and were both out of breath. . . Derek knew she was on the verge, he could feel her insides starting to contract . . . "Oh . . . god. . . Mer. . . I am about to . . . you are so damn good. . . " He said thrusting faster and harder into her.

"I am . . . you are so fucking amazing. . . " She yelled as she exploded into ecstasy. . .

At the same moment, Derek could feel her muscles starting to contract around his thick, hard cock and he couldn't take it anymore. . . He thrust hard into her one last time before filling her completely. . . "Mer. . . You feel so . . . good."

They never broke eye contact the entire time, "That was. . . " Derek started to say. . .

"Perfect . . . like it just fit." Meredith ended his sentence.

"Yeah. . . " he said with his smile that spoke all the way to the depth of her heart. They both lay there a few minutes, not saying anything, trying to catch their breath after the most amazing gift they shared with each other.

"Did I see a two-person shower in your bathroom?" Meredith asked giving her a playful, sexy smile.

"What did you have in mind, Ms. Grey?" Derek asked returning that same smile.

"Follow me in there and maybe you will find out." She said, already out of the bed heading to his bathroom. . .

"I love it when you are bossy. . . " He said, not hesitating to follow her.

Neither of them could believe how perfect this felt. . .

The second Meredith walked into the bathroom, Derek had caught up with her and wrapped his arms around her from behind, nibbling at her ear, "Did you think you were getting away?" He huskily said into her ear causing Meredith to moan loudly.

"I knew . . . You would follow me . . . you can't resist me." She barely got out while Derek put her hair over her other shoulder so he could kiss and suck where her neck connects with her back making Meredith moan even louder.

"I can always . . . go back. . . " he said in between the kisses he was trailing down her back.

It was too much for her . . . she whipped around, pushed him forcefully against the glass-shower wall, not even considering it could break and kissed him hard . . . forcing her tongue to take control of his mouth.

"Mer . . . " He moaned into her mouth feeling himself ready to go again. . . they both felt how ready he was. . .

He reached behind him and opened the shower door and turned the shower on while never letting go of her lips. It was his turn to take control as he took her in his arms, swiftly turned them around, and took a few steps forward so that her back was now against the back of the cold tile. It was his turn to show her . . . how much he wanted her again. He pinned her hair back with his hands and she watched his eyes turn to the deepest shade of blue she had ever seen. He forcefully came down on her lips . . . causing them both to moan loudly into each other's mouth.

"Derek. . . " She said letting her hands roam. . . starting at the back of his neck. . . working their way to his strong, muscular shoulders. . . she ran her fingernails down the length of the back of his arms, coming up the front of his arms causing shivers to run down his entire body.

"Mer. . . You are . . . god. . .your touch . . . " His lips sucking harder at her bottom lip before moving his lips down to her neck.

Meredith continued her hunt with her hands . . . moving them over to his toned chest as her fingers worked the perfect amount of hair that was there . . . the marks of a true man. . . She let her hands play there a few seconds as she moved them down to his abs . . . letting her hands snake around to each side of his waist, lightly tickling him there. . .

"Not nice, Mer" He said knowing this was going to be bad. . . her touching him. . . taking her time. . . working her way down. . . he had to stop it. . . but, he couldn't. . . he wanted her hands to roam every inch of him, just like he wanted to roam every inch of her. . . so, he started his own pursuit. . .

He started at her breast. . . They were perfect in every way and he wanted to know every single thing about them with his hands and mouth. One hand went on one breast and his mouth on the other . . . he started by doing circles around her nipple, being very careful not to touch her nipple. . .

Her hands made their way down his happy trail – the little line of hair leading down . . . his hard, thick, juicy member waiting. . . Her hand brushed against the tip of his cock, spreading the precum. . .

When he felt her hand brush up against it, he bit down on her nipple causing deep moans to come from both of them. . .

Derek's other hand worked its way down to her inner thighs as hers were in the same place on him. . . Derek moved his mouth over to her other nipple that was erect and waiting . . .

"Fuck Derek. . . " Meredith said loudly when he went to her other nipple while his hand was nearing close to her hot core that was wet and waiting. . .

"I want you." He said huskily feeling her hands getting dangerously close . . . he was trying to contain himself . . . but he was ready to let it go.

With this, Meredith took both her hands on his hard cock causing Derek to yell, "oh my fucking god . . . mer . . . " He said as be bucked his hips into her hands. . . She then pulled away causing his mouth to unlatch from her perky breast. . . she moved her mouth down his body causing him to stiffen even more if that was possible. . . her hands continuing to work his humongous cock the entire time. She was moving down, but her eyes looked up at his for just a second where they locked causing her to smile a very naughty smile which caused him to moan loud, "don't fucking stop. . . " She continued her downward decent to his inner thighs. . .

"Mer . . . " he said, taking her hair in his hands and pulling it back. . . he wanted to see her. . . the second he did, she took one of his balls in her mouth causing him to grunt loudly, he loved seeing her mouth on him . . . She went from one ball to the other. . . Her hands still stroking him, rotating between hard/fast to slow/soft. . . He couldn't take it anymore . . . letting her do all of the work. . . "I want inside you . . . now. . . " He barely could get out. . .

"Like this?" She asked glancing up at him before moving her mouth up to his cock . . . taking as much as she could in her mouth. "Fuck. . . " he said feeling those sweet, plump lips hugged around his penis. . . He had dreamed of those lips on him in this way. . . His knees buckled and had to use both of his hands to brace himself against the shower wall with the sweetest thing ever in between him and the wall. . .

She took her mouth off him and quickly went back up to his mouth . . . kissing him passionately . . . both of them moaning and both hands roaming all around. . .

"I want it . . . now . . . inside of me" She demanded looking down at his cock seeing it twitch in anticipation as his hands had found her slit. . . ready and waiting. . .

He grabbed her arms, pulled her around, and slammed her against the glass causing an imprint in the steam that had formed on the glass wall, "Fuck, Derek . . . " Her hands going up above her head to steady herself for his big cock that was coming . . . her breasts pressed up against the glass making her nipples fully alert. . .

Derek took down the shower head as he positioned himself to enter her . . . he got close enough to her opening, they both could feel it, but at that second he took the shower head around to the front of her core and held it right in front of her, "Shit. . . Derek. . . " She moaned loudly.

"You like that?" He said into her ear, his cock eagerly awaiting centimeters from her opening.

"Fuck yeah . . . don't move it . . . but, I want something else to. . . " She moaned out. . .

That was all Derek needed to hear. . . He led his cock into her tight opening and they both let out a huge breath . . . for the second time tonight, he couldn't believe how perfectly they fit together. . .

He used the shower head to work her clit using his other hand to spread her lips to give full access to her clit while his cock worked into her slowly. . . "Don't fucking stop . . . this is . . . oh god. . . " She could already feel herself on the verge of exploding.

"Let it go. . . " He said nibbling her ear while going in and out of her slowly, trying to control himself from exploding himself.

"I am. . . " Her whole body beginning to explode. . . as her hand moved down the shower causing the steam that had formed on the glass to disappear momentarily.

Feeling her contract around him, he dropped the shower head, put both hands on her waist and thrust into her as hard as he could, in and out. . .

"You are so fucking tight . . . you feel . . . so . . . fucking . . . good. . . " He yelled pumping into her so hard her feet were coming off of the floor tile. . .

"Harder . . . please . . . harder. . . " Meredith yelled.

Derek pounded in to her as hard as he could until he felt the hot liquid ready to spill into her. . . "Oh shit. . . " He said spilling himself into her feeling her contract around him at the same time making this her third orgasm of the night.

Both of them were trying hard to control their breath as Derek pulled out of her. She turned around to look at him. . . "Wow . . . that was. . . "

"Incredible." He said smiling at her.

"Now . . . let's finish this shower. . . I am getting hungry."

"I didn't feed you enough?" He asked. . .

"I can always eat." She said smiling seductively.

"Somehow I don't doubt that." He said laughing.

"Shower. . . "

"I thought that is what we have been doing." Derek said smiling.

"I think we got sidetracked . . . you must have a hell of a water heater."

"You have no idea" He said, grabbing for the body wash. . . He opened it and put some on his hands causing the scent to quickly fill the shower.

Meredith quickly looked up into his eyes and smiled one of the biggest smiles he had ever seen. . . "Lavender . . . how did you know?"

"The first time we kissed, I couldn't help but fall in love with the scent that pierced my nose. . . I wasn't sure what it was. . . "

"So, you guessed?"

"I went to the bath and body place. . . I was completely lost." He said laughing thinking about the girls in there looking like him like an idiot . . . he tried to explain and they just laughed at him. . .

"Wait. . .When did you go?" She asked as he was lathering her body.

"Well . . . I. . . I wanted to. . . " Derek stopped and took a deep breath. . . "After the first night you stayed here. . . I hoped . . . you would . . . this would happen . . . you would stay here . . . and we . . . so, I got this . . . just in case." Derek said fumbling his way through that.

Meredith just smiled and tears almost came to her again. . . She couldn't believe he did this for her. "So . . . the scent. . ."

He smiled thinking how thankful he was to see a familiar face. . . "Izzie walked in the store and laughed when she saw me . . . but, I asked her about it and she thought it was lavender."

Meredith smiled and wrapped her hands around him, tightly hugging him, both of them fully exposed, both of them skin on skin . . . that fit perfectly together.

"You are. . . I don't . . . thank you." Is all Meredith could say. . . She didn't know if she deserved this, but she smiled knowing he was going to give it to her . . . and she wanted this . . . more than anything before.

They finished and dried off. . .

"I think we have strawberries. . . " She said looking at him as they walked out of the bathroom. . .

"We do. . . " He said smiling raising his eyebrow at her. He loved that she was here . . . in his bedroom . . . and she felt the same way.


	35. Rules and Stuff

**I know. . . this is shortish. . . but, I can post another update later. . . This is actually the length of a typical update on the boards. . . so once it is caught up, this will be about the length of them. . . or I may combine some updates still. Not sure yet, but we are getting closer and closer to being caught up. **

Derek was lying on his side resting his head on his hand looking at the amazing, naked woman lying in his bed. He smiled even bigger when he thought about how such a big noise can come from such a small form. He continued to smile thinking about all of the wonderful things they shared last night. After the shower, they had an amazing time with the strawberries, whip cream, and chocolate which he hoped would be a regular thing . . . Using these items like they did, they had to take a second shower which caused them to finally collapse in each other's arm.

He sat his alarm on his phone so they would have plenty of time to get up before having to get to class. They had their lab class this morning together. He was a little worried for her . . . when it came time for her to see Alex this morning. She didn't talk about what had happened other than to tell him that Alex and Cristina had something going on—but they weren't sure what. He knew she would talk only if she wanted, so he focused on spending time with her.

She was in such a deep sleep; she didn't even hear the alarm go off a few minutes before. Derek wasn't sure how long she wanted before class and knew he needed to wake her up. He didn't want to . . . she looked so peaceful lying there.

He bent down and kissed her forehead . . . hoping this would wake her up. She kind of twitched her nose but, didn't wake up and the sound started again. He smiled and bent down and kissed her nose. He got a little more response and knew she was coming out of her slumber when he didn't hear the sound start back up. He went down once more to kiss her lips, like he had done to her nose and forehead, but he was pleasantly surprised when she responded back, kissing him.

"Good morning." Derek said smiling at her.

"Seriously . . . don't tell me you are a morning person . . . are you going to start singing to me?" Meredith asked barely able to open her eyes.

"hmmmm. . .i thought after all of the good stuff last night. . . you would want me to sing. . ." He said continuing to flash her his dreamy smile.

"No. . . No singing. . . There was a lot of good stuff last night . . . until you kissing me this morning" She said smiling, but still keeping her eyes shut.

"Excuse me?" He said shocked. . .

"Morning breath. . . I can't believe I actually kissed you and you kissed me. . . I have morning breath and I am sure it negates any good things from last night." She said forming a smile . . . she had never bothered to stay the next morning, so this was new for her . . . she swore though she would never kiss a man without brushing her teeth.

He smiled, "We both had morning breath. . . "

"Yes . . . we do . . . so, that makes it ok." She said putting her hands behind his neck and pulling him back down for a deep kiss. . . morning breath and all.

He started to move over on top of her, but knew they would have a hard time getting to class, so instead he pulled away from her . . . "We have class this morning."

She grumbled loudly, "Do we have to go. . . I want to stay here in slumber with you."

"We do need to go, but we still have an hour and a half until class."

Meredith opened her eyes quickly, "Why in the hell am I awake then?"

"I didn't. . . I mean. . . I know girls sometimes . . . you need time to . . . um . . . get ready. . ." He stuttered getting out not sure exactly what to say.

"You have been with the wrong girls. I can be ready in less than 10 minutes if I have to. . ." She said a little insulted that he would assume she was a typical girl.

"That is why I lo. . . like you .. . And yes . . . wrong girls . . . until now." Derek said, clearing his throat. He couldn't believe he almost let the L word out. . . He just couldn't say it even if he thought maybe he did . . . he knew he was falling for her . . . deeply falling.

Meredith got tense right away. She knew what he almost said. She also couldn't help but wonder if maybe she felt the same way. . . But, lo. . . that word, meant big things. . . things she wasn't ready for just yet.

"I like you too. . . Now, sleep, let's sleep." She said relaxing a little more while closing her eyes again.

"Sleep. . . I like having you sleep in my bed."

She opened her eyes again to look at him. She saw the smile that hit right through her heart. "And I like sleeping in your bed."

"I think we need to make sure you sleep in my bed more often." He wanted to bring this up and figured this was the best way to do it.

"You do huh . . . you just want me to keep you warm." She said giggling.

He needed her to stop the giggling because if she keeps on, he wouldn't be able to have this talk because he would be on top of her, or maybe her on top of him, but either way . . . he needed her to stop. "You weren't complaining about me keeping you warm through the night. . . "

"No. . . I didn't. . . "

"So . . . this sleeping thing . . . in my bed. . . "

"OH SHIT!" Meredith yelled and sat straight up in the bed.

Derek immediately got nervous wondering what she was about to freak out about. He knew he should have waited for this discussion, maybe she wasn't ready yet, "What, Mer?" He said trying to smile at her.

"WE DIDN'T USE A CONDOM. . . OH SHIT. . . THIS IS BAD. . . YOU BETTER BE CLEAN OR I AM CUTTING IT OFF." She yelled at him.

Derek sighed and couldn't believe how irresponsible he had been. He hadn't even thought about it, they were just so . . . perfect. He was a condom ad until last night . . . But, with Meredith, he just. . . "Shit . . . stupid . . . we are so fucking stupid. . . OH SHIT. . . YOU COULD BE. . . WE ARE IN. . . OH GOD. . ."

"That is something we don't have to worry about. . . I am on the pill and have been since . . . well, you know . . . something about regulating. . . So . . . no need to worry there. But, disease . . . you better. . . " She said looking at him.

Derek let out a huge breath he didn't even know he held, but a baby was not something they needed right now with them both in med school, although he couldn't help but feel excited at the thought of one day. . . having children with Meredith would be perfect, "No. . . No diseases. . . I am even willing to go get tested right now if need be." He started to get up to get dressed to go and prove to her. . .

Meredith started laughing. . . "I might have to see the test results . . . now get back down here so we can finish this conversation. "

"If you need the results, you will have them. Oh – and I hope you are clean." Derek said laying back down on the bed putting his boxers back down.

"I am. . . I was tested . . . you know they test you for that when . . . so, yeah. . . I am good." She said nervously.

Derek looked at how amazing this woman really was . . . she had been through so much, "Mer. . . You are good . . . amazing . . . all of you . . . and I want you. . . I want us to be. . . I want it to be you and I together. . . "

Meredith looked at him a little unclear about what exactly he meant although she was pretty sure she understood exactly what he meant, "Derek. . . " She said as he noticed the tears starting to swell in her eyes.

"Meredith . . . don't . . . this . . . it is good . . . you deserve this. . . I am the happiest I have been in a long time . . . maybe ever. So . . . rules . . . we need rules . . . that is all this is."

She looked at him and smiled, "Rules. . . I can do rules . . . "

"Ok . . . so . . . what are these rules?" He asked trying not to let on that he was relieved that she smiled and didn't freak out.

"You and me . . . there is no one else." She said barely above a whisper.

"You and me . . . I like the sound of that. No one else." He said agreeing with her putting a hand on the side of her face over her cheek and part of her hair.

"I think it is time to stake your claim." She said giving him a seductive smile.

"Just what I was thinking . . . we need to solidify the rules . . ." He said moving over on top of her, attacking her lips as they both moaned in pleasure.

"You . . . may want . . . to um . . . set the alarm . . . so we know how long we have. . . " She barely got out as he was ravishing her mouth.

"Already set." He said smiling into her mouth before continuing his pursuit of making her completely his. . .


	36. Concern of Love

Derek and Meredith made it to class just in time for class. Meredith decided to drive her own car so she could go home after her first class for a little while. She knew Alex and Cristina wouldn't be there because their class started about 45 minutes after Meredith's class. 

They made it through class . . . though neither were sure how. They had stopped to get coffee on the way, but were both so tired. This wasn't the entire problem though . . . they couldn't quite staring at each other and touching each other as they sat side by side at their table. . .

"I don't think I even want to know what went on in the apartment last night because judging by the, 'please fuck me again' look that has been plastered on both of your faces through class . . . things went on. . . " Mark said grinning at them both, thinking about his own amazing night with Izzie. . .

"Nothing. . . Mark can tear me away from this . . . bright and shiny feeling I have." Derek said smiling at Meredith.

She looked at him, "I am not bright and shiny. . . I don't do bright and shiny." She said laughing, crinkling her nose as he came down to kiss it lightly.

"That is what we are working on . . . remember." He said raising his eyebrows.

"You two are . . . well . . . you are . . . god. . . I understand it." Mark said shaking his head while realizing he was the exact same way with Izzie. . . He wanted to be bright and shiny . . . with her. He left her apartment this morning to get to class after a night that he imagined was similar to his brother's night. He smiled big thinking about her. He couldn't wait to see her; she said she would try to meet him after his class.

"Wow . . . I never thought you would. . . It is great man. . . . Izzie seems great." Derek said looking in amazement. He knew it would take the right woman and Izzie seemed like just the person. She was perky, but edgy and that was exciting to Mark.

"Well. . . I am going to run home for a little while. Maybe take a nap before my afternoon class. This schedule is killing me. . . I have all early morning classes and then this long break today before my next class." She said yawning really tired.

"Next time, don't try to be the suck up and take a class a year early . . . " Mark said laughing knowing she really worked hard to get where she was at. It was something Dr. Bailey had already noticed about her in the first week of class. He liked being her TA, but she was a pain in the ass sometimes. It kept him in line most of the time.

"She just wants to be the best. . . " Derek said putting his arm around her tightly giving her a squeeze and kissing her temple.

"My mom actually wanted me to do it." She said her face falling a bit causing Derek to stop walking and looked at Mark as if to tell him to fix it—now.

"Meredith . . . you are the best. . . I was just. . . I wish I could get ahead like you." Mark said quickly not wanting Derek to be upset with him . . . he would have been the same way if it was Izzie. He quickly learned what it meant to actually think about someone else.

"Thanks Mark. I do want to get going so I have time to lay down for a bit." Meredith said smiling back up at Mark, then at Derek.

Derek wrapped both arms around her in a hug and bent down to her ear, "I wish I was going with you."

She quickly smiled and said, "Then. . . I would not be napping."

"True, very true. . . " Derek said pulling back and giving her a soft kiss on her lips. He loved being able to do this out in the open. He wanted to . . . he wanted to shout from the rooftops that this incredible woman was his.

"Bye. . . I think we need to study some tonight." She said looking up at him raising her eyebrow.

"I like the way you think." He said smiling back at her.

"Studying, Derek . . . really. . . I am worried about a quiz that I am sure is coming in a class I have tomorrow, but I am sure I could use some help." She said with a serious look.

Mark just watched these two and how much . . . they were perfect together. He only hoped he could have that with Izzie. He thought they could have it, but could he really do it . . . commit to one woman. If he could do it, he knew Izzie would be the one he would want to commit to.

"Ok. . . I can help you; you know it could be fun." He said thinking about all of the naughty ways he could help her study.

"You know, you have a roommate, right?" Mark asked laughing.

"Yeah . . . something I wouldn't mind forgetting sometimes." Derek laughed as Meredith gave him one last hug and kiss and walked off.

"Man. . . You have it bad." Mark said looking in amazement at Derek.

"Yes . . . for that woman, I do. . . " He said smiling, turning to face Mark when Meredith was out of sight, "and it sounds like you may have something too with a woman. . ."

At that second, Mark's eyes became fixated over the top of Derek's head. . . Derek turned around to see what had him so captivated. "And here she is now." Derek said laughing.

"Don't man, I mean . . . we aren't like you and Mer, please don't say anything. . . " Mark said getting all nervous which caused him to rub his hands together.

"So, you don't want me to be . . . you." Derek said watching how nervous Mark had gotten.

"Derek . . . please." Mark said pleading.

Derek had never seen Mark like this. "Wow. . . this is. . . "

"Hey Mark. . . Derek. . ." Izzie said before Derek could say anything else looking at both of the men, but giving special attention to Mark.

Derek turned around to face her, "Hello Izzie, how are you this morning?"

"Oh. . . I am good . . . great even." She said giving Mark a quick smirk.

"I am sure you are. . . " Derek said coughing trying not to laugh. Pay backs were a bitch and Mark deserved this for all of the years of him doing this to Derek.

"Derek, don't you have something you need to be attending to?" Mark asked strongly suggesting Derek needed to go.

Derek looked up just in time to see just the person he needed to talk to before class. . . "Yeah. . . I do actually. Bye Mark, Izzie. . . I will see you in 30 or so minutes." He said quickly before jogging off hoping to catch the person he needed to talk to.

"Alex. . . " Derek said out of breath.

Alex stopped and turned around. Derek took a deep breath when Alex turned around because he looked terrible, like he hadn't slept at all which made Derek that much more nervous that things weren't good.

"What?" Alex snapped back. Yes, Alex was trying with Derek; they had a nice talk the morning before at Derek's apartment, but they weren't friends.

Derek thought maybe this was a bad idea, but he had to find out . . . make sure Meredith would be ok. "I wanted to . . . um . . . talk . . . make sure. . . I know about you and. . . um Cristina . . . Mer loves you both and . . . I want to make sure things are ok . . . or will be."

Alex stood looking at him like he was crazy. He didn't want to talk about it . . . especially to Derek. He had tried to call Meredith last night, but she didn't pick up the phone. He knew she had plans to study with Derek. . . "You don't know shit about this . . . things are fine. . . "

Derek could easily sense that things were not ok. "Look, I am going to just put it to you plainly and if you want to be an ass, then so be it." Derek paused to make sure he didn't find a fist in his face. When he realized Alex actually whipped his head around looking shocked that Derek actually just said that, he continued, "Meredith . . . she is . . . great and is doing really well right now. The reason why she is doing so well is because of you and Cristina."

"Yeah . . . so, why is this any of your concern?" Alex said scathingly.

Derek breathed. He knew this wasn't going to be easy, but he had to know what happened. He also needed to make sure they were ok . . . after their talk yesterday . . . Derek was his TA in Alex's class that was in the next 30 minutes. "Meredith . . . she is my concern . . . I am concerned for her. I just want to . . . be there for her and. . . You are her brother and if you need . . . well . . . if you need to talk. . . I can listen. . . "

Alex sighed. As much as he wanted to hate Derek Shepherd, he just couldn't. In fact, he almost considered the thought that Derek was really great for Meredith. He wasn't ready to let that be known either, but he did see the pleading look in Derek's eyes. Alex saw that Derek wanted to know . . . to make sure Meredith would be ok. Derek was trying to protect her and he couldn't ask for anything more. "There isn't a Cristina and I. . . I wanted . . . it doesn't matter what I wanted. Cristina . . . she isn't the marrying kind . . . she won't commit and at this point, it will all be fine. We will be able to live together and still be there for Meredith . . . although sometimes I think she is terrible for her, but she has always been there for her. It was just better this way." He sighed again. He knew he had to do this . . . the second he found out Cristina had kept the information about Derek and Meredith; he knew he couldn't be with her. She was loyal to Meredith . . . and that wasn't going to change. He was the one that decided to end it all. Cristina basically told him there wasn't . . . a them. . .they only had wild sex that was mind-blowing, but for the first time in Alex's life, he could see himself settling down. He knew deep down it wasn't ever going to be with Cristina and it was better to realize that now . . . early enough so that no one is hurt.

Derek just saw a completely different side to Alex. He saw a glimpse of it yesterday morning, but now . . . he saw it clearly. This man who he thought was a selfish, man-whore . . . was actually similar to him. . . They had a lot more in common than Derek cared to realize at this point. "Alex . . . it is great that you both are there for Mer. . . She couldn't have gotten through the last months without the two of you. She talks about both of you a lot. In fact, when we were studying yesterday, she would tell a story about you and/or Cristina anytime something we were studying reminded her of either of you.

Alex smiled. He knew his sister was truly amazing and was glad he found a way to accept Derek. Derek was really trying, with her and with Alex. "Thanks man . . . it was just . . . it is ok. It really isn't because of Meredith . . . that Cristina and I . . . decided to end things . . . so, I don't want you to think that."

"No. . . I don't . . . think that at all . . . that girl . . . she isn't the marrying kind . . . kind of scary really. I do worry about what you would do to me if I hurt your sister, but Cristina. . . I would be fearful of my life. . . " Derek laughed.

Alex laughed even harder than Derek, "I think you are right man . . . not that I wouldn't kill you and make it look like an accident, but she would make sure it was a very, slow, painful death."

After they calmed a few seconds later, "So. . . Alex . . . everything is . . . ok. . . I mean. . . Mer. . . She is . . . great and I really am. . . " Derek stopped to clear her throat not sure how Alex would respond, "falling for her. . . and you mean so. . . much to her." He said not taking his eyes off of Alex.

"Derek. . . I see . . . today . . . coming and talking to me about . . . Cris and me . . . it was for Toots . . . I see that . . . she needs that. . . I am glad. . .you " Alex said coughing before he could continue, "Don't fucking hurt her or you will have two of us coming after you, and what I will do, won't even come close to what Cris will do." He almost said it . . . he wanted to say he was glad it was Derek that Meredith had turned to. . . But, he wasn't ready just yet, because this was new . . . for all of them and up until yesterday, Alex hated this man . . . or hated what he knew of this man.

"I never plan on it . . . but, Alex . . . problems . . . there are always bumps."

"I know, but it is what you do with those bumps that make a relationship." Alex said matter-of-factly.

"Wow . . . who knew you could be so . . . right. . . " Derek said smiling, a little surprised Alex just said that.

"Yeah. . . I don't make it a habit." Alex said kind of shocked he came back with that, like it was natural.

"So . . . class . . . everything is . . . it is ok. . . I mean I am the TA . . . if you can't. . . " Derek was nervous talking about this after they had made progress. They were still very cautious with each other, but were getting more and more comfortable.

"Yes . . . but, Dr. Wright, he is an ass . . . maybe I should get in the other class just to get away from that ass."

"Alex . . . he is the best . . . you will see. He only rides you so hard because of who your mother is. You will do amazing having him—his students do the best on their steps and boards. . . I learned so much from him last year."

"So, you keep telling me . . . speaking of class, I should get going, I need a seat that isn't front and center . . . at least I don't have to sit by Cristina any more. . . " Alex said with a grin.

"Yes . . . out of his line of vision, but never out of his head . . . you are his target and that won't change this semester." Derek said pointedly.

"Well, good thing I am up for a challenge." Alex said smirking.

"See you in class . . . and Alex . . . thanks. . . I am glad you . . . just thanks. . . " Derek said really glad that Alex is ok with their relationship.

"She is happy. . . when I stopped and thought about the last few weeks. . . she hasn't wiped the smile off of her face and yesterday. . . it killed me to see it. . . go away." He said looking down. He hated doing that to his sister . . . he knew he shouldn't have hid it from her, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time . . . just like she thought it was best not to say anything about her and Derek.

"She is fine. She just needed time. See you in a few minutes." Derek said walking away, smiling as he thought about how fine she seemed last night.

Alex stood watching him walk away, "Yeah." He really was glad his sister had someone that . . . would protect her . . . stand up for her . . . talk to her twin brother who at one time wanted to kill him. He wasn't sure he would withstand as much as Derek had over his sister . . . not until recently. He knew the right woman would come along, but until then, he was actually going to try and be single . . . not have a woman a week or how ever frequent it was. He wanted to date . . . not just . . . have a few nights. He knew Cristina wasn't that girl, but he would find her. . .


	37. Not As Planned

Meredith was really excited. . . Derek and she were going out tonight. He had made them reservations at one of the nicest restaurants in town. She needed to just relax and enjoy the evening with Derek . . . away from books and studying. She was really happy with the budding relationship with Derek. 

Monday was really difficult for her. She went home after her first class with him. She was so tired, he called to make sure she was on her way back and he woke up her from a deep sleep. She would have slept right through class and she really couldn't afford to do that. That class was the first time she had seen Alex and Cristina since leaving the condo on Sunday. She could tell from their body language they were no longer a couple or whatever it was they were . . . and things really seemed to be ok between them . . . back to normal between them. Alex seemed a little down, but, they haven't had a chance to talk without Cristina around or someone around.

Derek found her after class on Monday to make sure she was ok. She loved that he was concerned about her . . . she hoped she wouldn't get tired of it. They had studied together a few times since Monday. . . It was now Thursday afternoon and Meredith only had a few hours before she got to see Derek . . . and would do fun things with him . . . talk. . . drink wine. . . eat. . . then . . . She hoped to be doing many things with Derek tonight.

"Hello?" Meredith said answering her phone.

"Hey there Mer . . . "

"Hey Bryant, what is up big brother?" Meredith asked cheerfully.

"Wow, someone is in a good mood. Glad that makes one of us." Meredith's brother said quickly.

Meredith's smile quickly went away, "Bryant . . . what's wrong?" She asked hearing the stress in his voice. She felt terrible . . . she has been so busy since moving back; she hasn't spent as much time with Bryant and his family as she would like.

"Meredith. . . I hate that I am calling, but I have no one else to call about this . . . do you have plans tonight? I mean, I know you are busy, but I really need a favor and. . . You know I wouldn't ask unless it was really important." He said with sadness in his voice that Meredith picked up on very quickly.

"Well. . . I did, but . . . you sound . . . it sounds like this is important . . . what's up." She said trying not to feel disappointed, but she loved her brother and his children. His wife . . . she was a different story, none of the family ever liked her. She was a self-absorbed bitch who was one of the top lawyers in town . . . which meant she was similar to their own mom. Meredith and Alex could never understand why he married her, but it was his life.

"Well. . . Meredith . . . it is . . . the kids. . . Morgan is working tonight. She wasn't supposed to, she was supposed to be off, but she is working all of the time these days. I am teaching tonight. I am teaching a night class this semester and the kids . . . and, they have been wanting to see their aunt. I will bring them to you. I know you may have to study."

"Bryant, stop . . .you are rambling and that is something I do. . . although I think we both are very good at it. . . you don't have to explain. . . you know I love my niece and nephews and would. . . love to spend time with them." She said trying very hard not to let the disappointment show in her voice . . . she would have to call Derek and try to explain. She thought he wouldn't understand and would get mad . . . just what she needed . . . they were doing great and this. . . She knew Bryant would do this for her in a second if need be, but it didn't help any.

"You said you had plans. . ." Bryant said sighing.

"Bryant, I would love to see my nieces and nephews and Derek. . ." Meredith stopped because she didn't know what Bryant would say . . . he would want to meet him. Shit. She knew she wasn't ready to put more of a definition on their relationship other than they were only doing . . . whatever it was they were doing only with each other. She did like that.

"Derek? You stopped Mer. . . Is there someone I need to meet?" He said curiously.

"I think Alex has it covered . . . you know how he can be." She said laughing.

Bryant laughed . . . the first time he had laughed in a while, "Yes . . . the twins thing . . . so, there is something for Alex to cover though."

"It is . . . you know, we are . . . we study and we . . . we are only with each other, but that is it . . . we haven't really defined anything except we have rules . . . that it is only Derek and I . . . there is no one else."

"Meredith . . . breathe. You are talking in circles . . . you like him." Bryant said smiling happy that one of the three of them was doing ok because when he talked to Alex earlier in the week, he sounded as bad as Bryant.

"Oh . . . well . . . um . . . yeah. . . I do . . . a whole lot actually and it is kind of . . . great." She said smiling thinking about Derek and how much she really liked him . . .

"When do I get to meet this Derek?"

"I think you may actually know him. . . I know you have missed the last few races, which Alex is really pissed about by the way, but it is. . . Derek Shepherd." Meredith said biting her lip.

"WHAT THE FUCK, MER. You can't date a driver . . . Alex is ok with this? . . . why in the fuck has he not mentioned it to me . . . driver's are . . . wait . . . you said you study together. . ." Bryant said taking a breath after momentarily freaking out . . . another trait he and Meredith had in common.

Meredith took a deep breath. That was sort of the reaction she was expecting. "Bryant, Alex . . . he is trying. He didn't. . . I didn't tell him at first, but. . . Bryant. . . Derek . . . he is kind of great . . . amazing really. He is a 2nd year med student."

"Really?" Bryant asked.

"Yes . . . unbelievable huh. . ." Meredith said still having to remind herself every now and then that this was good.

"Meredith. . . I am really happy . . . if you are happy. I will have to meet him though . . . let him know there isn't just one Grey he will have to answer to."

"He is actually more scared of Cristina than either of you I am sure. . ."

They both laughed knowing it was true.

"So, I will bring the kids over in about 30 minutes if that is ok, I have to be on campus by 4:45. . . I think I know where your condo is at . . . do you realize I haven't even been there . . . since you moved in." Bryant said a little disappointed.

"Bryant . . . we need to get together and do something, very soon. Are you coming to the race Saturday night?" Meredith said realizing how much she had missed her older brother and his children . . . she didn't care that she hadn't seen his wife.

"I am planning on bringing the kids. . . " He said knowing it would be a typical Saturday night. . . with only he and his kids.

"Good . . . and I will see you in 30 minutes. We will order pizza or something." She said thinking about the dinner reservations she had at Geseppio's with Derek.

"Meredith. . . I love you and thanks. . . I really do appreciate. . . I wouldn't ask unless. . . Thank you so much. Derek. . . I have to meet him soon." He said hating the fact he just asked his sister who had plans . . . with a man she seemed to really care about. He also hated the fact she sounded so excited about those plans with Derek.

"Yes . . . you should meet Derek and I can't wait to see the kids." Meredith said. Although she was disappointed about her date, she loved spending time with her brother's kids.

"See you in a few. . . " 

"OK." Meredith said hanging up the phone and sighing . . . she didn't want to make this next phone call . . . worried what Derek may say. She knew she had to do this for her brother because something in his voice . . . something just wasn't right, but she wasn't exactly sure what. He never asks her for anything which made her wonder exactly what was going on at home.

She sighed heavily before dialing the number that was becoming more and more familiar to her. . . usually she was smiling and was all giddy. . . but, now. . . she didn't know what Derek would say. . . or if he would even believe her.

Meredith sighed as she dialed the number. She really didn't want to make this phone call. She dialed the number 5 times before this time . . . she would quickly shut her cell phone before she would press send. She wanted to go . . . she didn't realize how badly she really wanted to go until now . . . but, she also wanted to help her brother out. His wife was a real bitch and it didn't surprise Meredith that she couldn't stay home to watch her own children . . . she was similar to their own mother. At least the three siblings had each other to watch out for each other.

She heard the first ring and her heart was beating . . . very fast . . . the phone rang a second time. As the phone rang a third time, she heard the voice, "Are you getting ready for our date?" He said excitedly over the phone.

This made her that much more nervous and she had no idea what to say . . . before she knew it a few seconds passed, "Mer? Are you there?" He said worriedly.

She cleared her throat trying to hold back the tears that wanted to fall so badly. "Yeah, I am here." She said in a whisper.

"Meredith. . .Are you alright?" He said in a worried voice.

"I am . . . um. . . Derek . . . don't be mad please." Meredith said pleading.

"Meredith . . . tell me . . . what is going on. . . I will not be mad . . . don't you know, I can't be mad at you." He said as Meredith knew from the sound of his voice he was smiling.

She took a deep breath . . . knowing he would not be smiling in a few seconds, "My brother called. . . " She stopped.

"Ok, what did Alex need?" Derek asked wondering what the problem was.

"No, Derek, my brother Bryant." She took a pause again not wanting to disappoint him.

"That is great Mer. . . I know you were saying just yesterday that you needed to talk to him." He said trying to stay positive because he knew something was coming. Meredith wasn't hard to read when it came to knowing if something was on her mind. . . what was on her mind. . . was a different story.

"Ok. . . I really don't know how to say this, so I am just going to say it. . . I want to go tonight Derek . . . I want to go and have the perfect date that I know you will give me. . . I want to sit across from you, or maybe next to you and do the stupid little coupl-y stuff that I would usually laugh at others for doing . . . but, I want that . . . tonight. . . " She said sighing, stopping to regain her breath.

"And you are rambling." Derek said laughing at her, "I want all of those things with you as well."

"Oh Derek, I have to watch my brother's kids tonight because his bitch of a wife seems to be too busy to take care of her own damn children. . . " She said taking a deep breath waiting for him to hang up. . .

"Meredith . . . is that all?" Derek said trying not to laugh at her on the other end of the phone. She was really freaking out and he found it adorable.

"Yes . . . and Derek. . . I am so sorry . . . I understand if you don't want to go out with me again. . . I mean . . . this is." 

"STOP!" Derek said loudly over the phone still trying to not laugh at her. She really thought he would not want to date her.

There was a few seconds of silence, "Mer. . . Did you really think. . . I wouldn't want to date you because of this?"

"Well. . . I didn't know. . . I mean. . .I have never really . . . um . . ." She said not sure what to say.

"You have never really been on a date before . . . a real date, have you?" Derek asked making sense of why she was so nervous.

"No. . . I haven't." She said a little embarrassed.

"Wow . . . now, you will be in for the treat of your life, this is great news because now, I can really be McDreamy and plan an amazing first date for you. I am glad I found this out . . ." Derek said as a million things went through his head of things he could do to make it perfect. If he would have known this was her first real first date . . . it would have been way more than just reservations at the restaurant. Now, he could do it up right and he was so excited about this. He was a little disappointed about tonight . . . he wanted to see Meredith, but he was quickly thinking of ways for that disappointment he had to go away.

"Oh. . . I don't need . . . wait, you aren't mad?"

"Mer. . . I told you, I can't be mad at you and if I were, it would be over something much bigger than this. I can't say I am not disappointed, but at this point. I am glad . . . you are going to have an amazing date soon. . . I am going to plan it all."

"Wow. . . Derek, just wow. I thought. . . "

"That is what you get for thinking." They both laughed as Meredith felt relieved . . . in a way that made her heart swell even more for Derek.

"So . . . what are you planning on doing with your niece and nephews?" Derek asked.

"I will probably order pizza . . . and we will talk and play games and just hang out. I am not sure if Alex will be in, but if he is . . . the boys will wrestle and do the 'manly' things they do. Me and Marissa, my niece, will do girly things. . ." She said giggling, thinking about all of the great times she has had with them, but she hasn't seen them as much in the last 4 years, but anytime she was in town, she spent quite a bit of time with them.

Derek couldn't help but feel an intense feeling of happiness. . . Thinking his Meredith with children . . . hopefully one day with his children . . . all 4 of them as he dreamed about. . . "That sounds like fun." He said knowing exactly what he was about to do.

"I should go and get ready for them." Meredith said hating to have to get off of the phone.

"Mer. . . Date . . . you and me. . . " Derek sighed not knowing when this date could actually happen. . . then, the perfect time popped in his head. . . "Sunday . . . we are going on our date Sunday and be ready bright and early." He said smiling . . . he wasn't exactly sure what they would be doing, but it would be many different things they would do.

"Derek. . . I don't do bright and early." She said grumbling a bit.

"You will want to do bright and early for this." He said smiling.

"Cheesefest. . . I can't wait." She said laughing knowing he would have big things planned because she had already learned that was the way Derek operated.

"And, you will love it." 

"Derek . . . thank you . . . for understanding." Meredith said knowing she needed to go and pick up a little.

"Anytime . . . have fun. Call me later." Derek said knowing exactly what he was about to do. Pizza wasn't a good dinner for children. . .

"Bye Derek, I really wanted . . . tonight." 

"I know, but soon . . . very soon. Bye." He said very excited about what he was planning to do right now.

They both hung up the phone. Meredith was disappointed; she really wanted to go out with Derek, but felt anxious and excited for their upcoming date Sunday, bright and early as he put it.

Derek hung up the phone, grabbed his car keys, and headed out the door. . .


	38. Body Slams and Cucumbers

**Happy New Year to Everyone . . . Thanks to all who are reading this story and those who are reviewing - it is REALLY great to see what you all think. . . LOVE IT!!!! Hope you continue to read and enjoy! Maggie**

Meredith finished picking up the living room. Thankfully it wasn't too bad right now. Meredith, Cristina, and Alex had agreed on a schedule to clean because none of them would do it unless they absolutely had to.

She smiled as she heard the boys knock and yell through the door, "Aunt Mer. . . We are here." She heard her brother trying to calm them down. She knew they would be excited to come over . . . they always had a great time together. She had called Alex and he was going to be home anytime and Cristina . . . who knew when she would be there. Things had been ok in the condo between the two of them. . . Alex seemed a little down and they had been so busy, Meredith and Alex haven't had a chance to really talk, but she hoped they would be able to sometime tomorrow afternoon. They didn't have class on Friday's, but it was a study day for all medical students and a practice day for Alex at the track.

Meredith opened the door to see her brother and his three children . . . she was a little surprised. She knew it was her brother standing there, but, he looked . . . tired and stressed. "Hey there guys." She said smiling at the kids before looking back up at her brother to give him a pleading look. He walked in to hug her. . . "I am fine." He said in her ear knowing exactly what she was thinking. She shot her eyes up at him the minute they parted knowing he was doing exactly what they were both good at.

"Aunt Mer, your place is very cool." Marissa said looking around.

"Thank you, kiddo. . . " She responded hugging her niece.

"I am not a kiddo anymore. . . " Marissa said looking up at Meredith and sighing.

Meredith and Bryant laughed, "I forgot, we are turning 30." Meredith said in between laughes

"No, Aunt Mer. . .I am turning 12. . . But, I still have months to go." She said rolling her eyes. 11 year olds are funny people . . . they think they are grown up, they want to be grown up, but really aren't.

"How are my favorite nephews doing?" She said turning to Banks and Braden. Bryant and Morgan were surprised when Banks was a little under a year old when they found out Morgan was pregnant with Braden. It was hard for them to get used to the idea of having another baby and that was the beginning of what seemed like the end for them although they were never great together.

"I am great, but Banks is in trouble at school." He said as his dad gave him a stern look.

"Banks, are you in trouble?" Meredith asked him.

"Um. . . " Banks said dropping his head.

"I hate to break this up, but I really need to get to the University." Meredith noticed the look on Bryant's face . . . she knew something was wrong with Bryant, but he wasn't going to talk about it. She needed to make time for her brother soon. . .

"Bye, Daddy." All three kids gave him a hug at the same time.

"Bye guys, I love you so much." He said looking down at all three of them.

"I will be back in about 3 hours . . . if no one needs anything after class." He said hoping no one would want to stay . . . he always stayed if someone had something to discuss with them because he was that kind of professor. Of course, some of the girls stayed just to spend time with him and he knew it . . . it was flattering, especially when a person gets no attention at home. . .

"You have my cell and I will keep it on . . . just in case." Bryant said looking at his sister.

"We will be fine . . . right guys?" Meredith said smiling, looking at the three of them.

"Right. . . " They all three said.

"Thanks, sis. . . I am sorry. . . I messed up your . . . plans." Bryant said as he stood at the door looking back at them.

"You didn't mess up anything. . . I love spending time with these guys." She said smiling. She was a little disappointed, but she was also excited to see her niece and nephew. She was also excited about the next scheduled 'first date' with Derek.

"I will be back in a little while." He said opening the door. . .

"And we will be having fun . . . eating pizza and whatever else we might can find." She said laughing as the kids looked at each other and smiled. They haven't ever stayed at her place before since she just moved back a few months ago. But, the kids had been around Meredith enough to know . . . she ate junk food . . . lots of it. Their mother always said she didn't know how Meredith could eat so unhealthy, but still be as small as she is.

"Love you all." Bryant said walking out of the door.

Meredith turned around, "Who wants pizza?"

All three kids raised their hands enthusiastically. Meredith laughed, "Pizza it is."

"Aunt Mer, is Uncle Alex going to be here?"

"He should be home anytime . . . he may have said he was ready for tag team wrestling. . ." Both boys lit up as Marissa rolled her eyes. Basically the young boys tag teamed Alex as he tried to teach them actual wrestling moves. He was the state champion in wrestling his junior and senior year in his weight class and was runner up his sophomore year. Bryant was never in to it, but thought it was a great sport for the boys.

"Great, they will be loud and stupid boys. . . " Marissa added watching the boys.

"We should do something girly." Meredith suggested.

"Seriously . . . girly. . . Aunt Mer. . . What happened to you?" Marissa asked with a hint of a smirk. . . one that was a Grey trait for sure . . . Meredith was pretty sure she did something very similar when she was 11.

"This is why we are related." Meredith said laughing as they all heard the door opening making 2 boys very happy.

"Uncle Alex . . . you are home." They said throwing their arms around him tight. They spent lots of time with Alex. In fact, he had lived with them a few months before he found an apartment last year.

"I may have heard I had a wrestling match to get to." He said putting his arm around both boys and picking them up by their waist, one in each arm, making them horizontal with the florr. He walked over to the couch. . .

"Put us down. . . " They both squealed over and over, both laughing hysterically.

"And a body slam." Alex said as he slammed them both down on the couch . . . gently enough so that they just laughed more.

"Boys . . . they are so weird Aunt Mer." Marissa said.

"One day . . . you will find someone . . . and they won't be so weird." Meredith said feeling herself get excited thinking about her someone . . . that was definitely not weird; well, not in the general sense of the word.

"Boys are always going to be weird and stupid."

"Keep thinking that. Boys are stupid and weird." Alex piped in as he was wrestling with the boys already.

"Glad you are finally admitting that." Meredith laughed at Alex before turning back to Marissa, "Most boys are stupid and weird, but there are some . . . that are just perfect." She said not realizing the huge smile on her face.

"Aunt Mer, you are acting really weird . . . since when do you think boys are perfect. Oh god . . . you like a stupid boy don't you?" Said the perceptive 11-year old.

"No. . . Definitely not. . . " She said trying to ignore the fact that Alex had stopped wrestling with the boys momentarily to see what her response would be.

"Hey kids. . . Why don't we talk Aunt Mer into ordering us pizza?" Alex said helping her out. He knew she wouldn't want to explain it to an 11 year old.

"You are so behind, Uncle Alex. . . Aunt Mer has already thought of it." She said again rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, Speedo, keep up . . . get with the program" She said laughing, thinking about how much her niece was like her at that age. She got her laptop to find the phone number to one of the pizza places.

The boys wrestled a little more and Marissa went to get something to drink while Meredith was looking up the phone number.

"This just isn't easy anymore. Do you know you can order online?" Meredith said in shock.

"Yes, Toots. . . I know . . . get with the program." Alex said laughing as one of the boys jumped on his back.

Just about that time, they heard the doorbell ring.

"Are you expecting someone?" Meredith looked up at Alex.

"No, You?" He asked back. She shrugged her shoulders and went back to the computer while Alex got the boys off of him getting up to open the door.

He was shocked when he opened the door and saw a stupid boy standing there with his arms loaded down. . .

"Hey Toots . . . weren't you just saying there definitely wasn't a stupid boy . . . that you liked?" Alex called in to Meredith with Derek standing in the doorway confused.

"Alex. . . I hope. . . I mean, Meredith and I had a date tonight and. . . Her. . . I mean your guy's brother called and needed her to watch the kids and I thought. . ." Somehow Derek didn't even consider the possibility of Alex being home. He was scared shitless with Alex being there . . . they had never been around each other in this way before, but he wouldn't let on to that fact.

"So . . . you are here, with bags." Alex said peaking into the bags.

"Mer said she was ordering pizza and I figured. . . I cook so I thought . . . I could . . . cook."

Meredith rounded the corner to see what Alex was talking about and stopped suddenly when she saw Derek at the door with both arms full of bags. . . "Derek . . . what in the world?"

He just smiled at her. . . "I brought dinner . . . well, actually, I brought the ingredients for dinner."

"So, now we get to see the cheesy side of Derek Shepherd . . . oh wait until I tell the other driver's." Alex said laughing.

Meredith was at the door to help Derek with the bags, "Alex . . . you won't. . . " She said glaring at Alex and then smiling again at Derek, "Let's get these inside. . . but really, we are just going to order pizza."

"Pizza is no fun . . . it never calls and it's not nearly as good to wake up to as Spaghetti. . . " Derek said laughing. . . giving Meredith his McDreamy smile.

"Oh my god . . . this is the stupid boy. . . " Marissa said watching the exchange.

"So . . . you were talking about me it sounds like . . . and for the record, I am not stupid." He said addressing Meredith with the first part giving her the smile, then looking at the girl Derek assumed to be Mer's niece.

"Boys are stupid." She told him in a very bossy tone with her hands on her hips.

"That is what you are teaching her?" Derek asked Meredith.

"Best she learned that now. . . " She said smiling back at him as they were putting the groceries down on the kitchen counter. He just laughed and turned to Marissa. . .

"So. . . I am Derek. . . " He said after he got most of the things set out on the counter, sticking out his hand to shake hers.

"I am Marissa . . . and I don't shake hands." She said with her hands still on her hips.

Alex is laughing knowing his niece is quite a lot like Meredith, "She is just like Meredith was . . . bossy. . . "

"That is one thing I love. . . " He said before realizing maybe he shouldn't say much. . . he wasn't sure how relaxed he could be with Alex there.

There was a silence . . . no one exactly said what to say. . .

"Uncle Alex . . . where did you go?" The boys came into the kitchen looking for him. They were so busy wrestling; they had totally missed the commotion.

"We have company . . . it looks like we are having spaghetti . . . that is good to wake up to or something cheesy like that." Alex said laughing. . .

Derek looked at Meredith. . . He was relieved Alex was actually joking around and didn't seem to be upset he was there. . . He just needed to relax now, "I am Derek . . . who are you to fine gentlemen?" He said bending down to their level.

"I am Banks and this is my brother Braden . . . But, I am older so I am the boss. . . " Banks said. . .

Derek loved seeing this part of Meredith . . . she seemed so natural and comfortable with these kids and it was funny how they were all very bossy . . . something he definitely realized Meredith was very quick. "Wow . . . so . . . what have you boys been doing tonight with your aunt and uncle?"

They both started talking at the same time; Derek just watched them as both faces lit up talking about wrestling with their uncle. . . "Would you like to join us, Mr. . . Um. . ." Banks asked.

"Derek . . . just call me Derek." He said smiling at them. "And, I would love to join you, but I am going to cook you some yummy spaghetti . . . do you like spaghetti?" He asked hoping his sister was right that all kids liked spaghetti. He called her to ask her opinion on what he should cook . . . she had lots of questions and he promised to call her back with more details later.

They both nodded their heads with Marissa standing there with a hint of a smile, "I tell you what boys, let me get the noodles on and then I will join you . . . if your uncle doesn't mind." He said looking up at Alex.

"No. . . I don't mind, I may have to take you down myself." He said laughing finding himself actually enjoying his time with Derek . . . watching him with his nephews . . . was a great thing.

"We will have to see about that. Oh . . . and I think the driver's would be very interested to know exactly how soft Alex is . . . at home." Derek said relaxing more and more.

Meredith just smiled. She never would have let Derek come over if he had suggested it, but now . . . she was the happiest she had been in a long time . . . he was there and he brought things to cook. "We should get started on dinner." Meredith suggested.

"We . . . you mean you are actually going to help." Derek said standing back up and laughing at her.

"I helped last time . . . remember, the cucumbers. . . I chopped them. . . " She said smirking a little. . .

_Seriously, Mer. . . You had to go there, didn't you? I am just getting my nerves down and you bring up the damn cucumbers. . . SHIT. . . Alex. . .he is right there and her brother's children, but she is so damn hot. Why did she have to be wearing that cute little tank top and pajama pants . . . she is so damn cute. . . SHIT. . . I need water,_ "Water, can I get some water please?" He barely got out.

Alex watched them closely. . . He wanted to be mad . . . but, he found himself truly happy for his sister. He knew his sister was toying with Derek and that thought made him laugh as well.


	39. Good Helpers

Derek walked into the kitchen . . . he had to have something cold to drink. . . NOW. . . Meredith followed him knowing what she had just done to him. . . 

Alex occupied the kids in the living room for a few minutes realizing Meredith was being a little vixen . . . he wanted to hate Derek, but he had never seen his sister more happy and comfortable, so he decided to be a great twin brother . . . he had warned Derek and he was pretty sure he got his point across to him on more than one occasion. They understood each other and that was good for now.

"Looking for this?" She said reaching up to grab a cup causing her tank top to ride up exposing her skin. . .

Derek looked over just as she was grabbing the cup. . . [iShit. . . like that is going to help. . . god, she is. . . STOP. . . Two can play at this little game. . . [/i He thought to himself, smirking. He leaned into her, grazed his fingers at the exposed skin . . . that was smooth and perfect.

At the slightest touch of Derek, she felt electrified from head to toe. . . "Not nice." She said under her breath as he moved in closer to her ear grinding into her hip causing her to gasp, she could feel just what her comment had done to him.

"See, what you do to me. . . I want to take you up to your room and take care of this. . ." He huskily said into her ear.

"We . . . can't. . . " She said trying to remember to breath. . .

"Then, don't talk about cucumbers . . . because I want you to suck on the best one you will ever have." He said breathing into her ear . . . snaking his hand up her shirt a little, smiling when he realized she didn't have a bra on. . . her breasts. . . they were perfect.

"Derek . . . oh my god . . . stop or. . . " She said moving away from him quickly looking back to make sure no one was watching. She was thankful her brother was smart enough to occupy the kids . . . doing one of his goofy impressions that they loved in the living room.

"Later . . . " He said, raising his eyebrows.

"Is that the only reason you came?" She said smirking knowing they were more than sex . . . but, she was used to guys only wanting that one thing . . .

"What? Meredith . . . why would you. . . NO . . . hell no. . . I wanted to do this for you . . . you started this . . . I lo . . . like you . . . more than anything like that." Derek said as he was reacting instead of thinking about what he was saying. His head was spinning because he didn't want her to think that and then . . . he almost said it . . . he didn't want to say it . . . not tonight . . . well. . . he did want to tell her tonight, on their date. . . but, Sunday. . . he would tell her Sunday.

"Derek . . . no, I didn't mean it . . . I am just used to . . . but, you are not that . . . you are so much more . . . and I . . . um . . . I like you . . . a lot . . . more than . . . I like you." She said a little uncomfortable knowing she had never felt this way before . . . with anyone and she tried not to think about it because it scared her. . .

They stared at each other . . . their eyes dancing . . . their lips wanting . . . their core's wanting to meet . . . their souls locking together . . .

"Derek . . . you need to come and see Uncle Alex . . . he is so funny." Banks said from the living room breaking the intensity of Meredith and Derek . . . something Alex noticed immediately looking in their direction.

"Um . . . yeah buddy . . . let me get things started . . . then, I will come in. Hey, Marissa, do you want to help in the kitchen?" He said thinking she may want to. He can remember his sisters always wanting to help out in the kitchen until they reached the age that they thought they were too cool to help out.

"Really?" Marissa said happily, jumping off of the couch to run into the kitchen.

Meredith just watched . . . she couldn't believe he would even think to ask her to come and help. . . He really was one of a kind and she was seeing that more and more every second.

Derek got the water boiling for the noodles . . . and got the hamburger meat browning. He instructed Meredith on how to brown the meat, she was pretty sure she would burn it, but Marissa said she had things under control and that made all of them laugh. He bought everything pre-chopped because he knew this needed to be done quicker than normal. . .

"I think you ladies can handle this. . . I am going to go play with the boys." Derek said smiling. . .

"When you smell something burning . . . you are the one to blame." She said smiling at him.

"Don't worry, Aunt Mer. . . I told you once already. . . I have everything under control." She said putting her hands on her hips.

"I think you are in good hands." Derek said laughing looking at this 11 year old. Meredith was right on when she said she was 11 going on 18. . . He saw quite a lot of Meredith in Marissa and that made him smile even more. . . he couldn't help but wonder if the children he had dreamed about. . . would be just like her . . . He went into the living room smiling to wrestle with the boys. . .

Meredith and Marissa cooked and opened cans together. . . "Aunt Mer. . . When will my. . . Um . . . bumps come up. . ." Marissa asked minutes after Derek left.

Meredith looked at her niece trying to figure out what in the world she was talking about, but as she looked at Marissa . . . her eyes starring right at Meredith's chest and it dawned on her. . . She tried to stifle back the giggle that was right in her throat. "Honey . . . are you talking about your breasts. . ."

She watched her niece's eyes get big. . . "No. . . Bumps . . . that is what they are called. . ." Marissa couldn't use the other word. . .

"Ok . . . bumps . . . as you want them called." Meredith nodded her head trying not to laugh and Marissa nodded in agreement.

"Marissa honey . . . it's ok, you can talk to with me, about anything you know." Meredith said sensing from things Brad had said recently her mother wasn't around and no girl going through . . . these things . . . wanted to talk to her father about things like this.

"Really? I can talk to you because my friend at school. . . her mom talks to her about these things and I. . . mommy is gone a lot and it seems when she is home, she is too busy to talk about these things." She said looking down sadly.

Meredith's heart broke at this admission. . . She knew it was time to spend more time with her. . . she was going to have to take time out for her and not let her down. . . she hated Morgan right now. She knew exactly what it was like to not have a mother available to talk with. At least her niece had a father that loved her and an extended family that thought the world of her. "Really . . . anytime . . . in fact, I think we need a girl's night. . . VERY soon . . . maybe we can talk to your dad about a good time." 

Marissa's face lit up in excitement. "Yes. . . I can't wait Aunt Meredith. . .You are the best. But . . . the bumps . . . why do boys like them so much?" 

Meredith's jaw dropped . . . she had no idea what she should say . . . but, she always believed in honesty. . . but that should come in a later conversation, "The reason they like them so much is . . . they are jealous because they don't have them."

This made both of them giggle. . . "I think there is another reason, but I will take that for now." Marissa said too smart for her own good.

"Ok, kiddo . . . now, we better get Derek in here before we burn this meat. . . I am not sure what to do next except turn off the fire." She said thinking that normally she would just have to call the fire department at this point. . . But, she was trying . . . to learn how to cook . . . she wanted to learn and she knew she could with Derek teaching her. . .

"You like Derek, don't you Aunt Mer?" She asked plainly.

Meredith had no idea what to say to this . . . "Oh . . . um . . . we are . . . study partners at school and he . . . we have to . . . study and . . ."

"You are rambling. You so like him and he likes you . . . a lot." Marissa said smiling.

Meredith just sighed knowing her niece was completely right . . . "We need to get Derek . . . this is done. . ." She said looking into the living room watching all 4 boys wrestle. Alex and Derek were tag-teaming the boys . . . for the first time . . . she knew . . . this was it . . . watching him . . . with her family . . . watching 2 men who hated each other weeks before . . . tears came to her eyes . . . she knew . . . she loved him . . . before now she didn't want to face it, but she knew . . . in this moment . . . she knew . . . he was it.

Meredith was thankful she didn't burn anything while she was helping Derek in the kitchen; of course, Marissa insisted it was because she was in there helping. Even Alex was shocked to see his sister trying to be domesticated . . . He actually came in and laughed at her a few times, but Marissa immediately went to Meredith's defense.

Meredith actually thought she could get used to this . . . sharing the kitchen with Derek . . . cooking with him . . . laughing with him. During the course of cooking . . . they shared many tender moments—when their eyes met, or their hands collided by accident.

"Meredith, where is your spaghetti tongs?" Derek asked trying to find instruments and serving pieces.

"What? I don't know what that is, but it sounds vaguely dirty. . ." She turned around to look him going through her drawers . . . clueless as to what he was talking about.

"There are kids around; it is a cooking utensil, you and your dirty mind." He said shaking his head while smiling. He loved that she was really clueless about all of this stuff and he was teaching her . . . and she seemed to want to learn. He continued, shaking his head, "But, you know . . . the thing to grab the spaghetti with . . . everyone has them." Derek said still looking through the drawers and cabinets.

"Seriously . . . we don't cook Derek . . . didn't you notice when you asked for the spaghetti colander and we didn't have that either. Before that it was the right kind of pot . . . How would I know what the tongy things are?" She said frustrated she didn't have these things. . . what woman didn't have them. She figured he had everything in his apartment and he was a guy. . .

He stopped what he was doing and looked at her with a huge, stupid grin on his face, "You were serious." Giving her his McDreamy smile. . . He thought she was cute when she was frustrated. . . another thing that turned him on as much as the giggle.

"What the hell did you think? I was lying?" She said smirking at him trying to keep a straight face.

"You are so cute when you are trying to be mad and serious. . . and when you are flustered." He said wanting to walk up to her and wrap his arms around her.

"Can't you just use a fork or something? Just like you made do with the lid on the pot for spaghetti to drain the water. . ."

"Aunt Meredith . . . we need to get you some things for the kitchen for Christmas . . . I started a list, it was Derek' idea." Marissa said continuing to look at the piece of paper in front on her on the bar.

"WHAT?" She said looking in between both of them.

"Not my idea. . . It was all her." Derek said pointing to Marissa.

"I can't believe you . . . it was your initial idea to get her kitchen things for Christmas, in fact, you even said you needed it because you thought you may be cooking over here more often." She said giggling. . .

Meredith looked at him with a shocked expression while Derek shook his head, looking at Marissa as she was giggling. . . he knew she knew exactly what she was doing.

"Meredith. . . " He said taking a few steps toward her. He didn't want her to be upset.

She looked up at him and smiled, "So . . . you think you will be invited back?" She said in a whisper while looking up into his clear blue eyes.

"And you are saying I won't after the meals I have cooked. You can't resist me . . . or my cooking that is." He said smirking.

"Do you want to test out that theory. . . I will win, I always win." Meredith said challenging him, taking a step closer to him.

"Ah. . . That is where I beg to differ . . . you don't want to play with me. . . I always win." Derek said with Meredith watching his eyes turn a darker shade of blue. . . knowing they needed to stop right now because right now. . . she was ready to take him, right there, not caring who else was there. . .

"Ok, guys . . . break apart. We do need dinner tonight and I think it is all ready." Marissa said smiling. She was only 11, but she knew enough to know these two people really cared for each other. She didn't see this in her own home with her mom and dad and wished her daddy could be as happy as her aunt seemed to be.

They broke their intense stare and Derek cleared his throat trying to adjust himself so that his bulge wasn't painfully obvious. . . Meredith went over and ruffled her hand through Marissa's hair . . . "You really are too old for your age." Both of them laughed while Derek turned his head around to watch Meredith; he smiled thinking about Meredith and children . . .

They sat down for dinner while Meredith and Derek finished putting everything on the table. This was overwhelming for her . . . she wasn't used to this family dinner thing and it was obvious the only one that was, happened to be Derek . . . who wasn't even in their family. She wondered if one day . . . he would be a part of her family.

Marissa insisted that Derek sit beside her and that Meredith sit by Derek. Everyone actually wanted to sit by Derek . . . except Alex of course, although he didn't mind him sitting at the table with them. It was decided that Derek would sit in the middle of one side of the table with Meredith and Marissa on each side of him with the boys sitting across from him.

Alex realized how much Derek was in his element with this family thing. Alex wanted to use this time to get to know a little more about Derek. "So, Derek . . . do you have siblings? I know you have a sister as she was at the track . . . "

"I have 4 sisters and Mark. . ." He said laughing, thinking about Mark being a sibling.

"I didn't realize you guys were brothers."

Derek laughed, "We aren't blood or anything, but my mom kind of adopted him . . . he practically lived with me from the time he was 12. Sometimes I think he gets away with much more than I do with my mom."

Alex just looked at this man . . . one he thought he hated a few weeks ago. But, this man . . . right now, there was little he could find wrong with him. "Are you the youngest, middle, or oldest?"

"I am right in the middle—two older and two younger. Mark and I are the same age."

"I like being the oldest like daddy is." Marissa said smiling.

"Just so you can boss your brothers around." Alex said smirking as he went back to his plate for more spaghetti.

"She isn't the boss of us." Banks said.

"Yeah. . . " Braden said nodding his head with a firm yes.

"OK, you three . . . let's eat before dad gets back. He should be back in an hour or so." Meredith said hoping they didn't get into anything. She loved them all, but she wasn't the best aunt when they started fighting.

"So, tell me about school." Derek said to the kids and all three begin talking loudly and quickly. Derek couldn't help but laugh with the other adults as they all finished eating, everyone complimented the spaghetti. Meredith was yet amazed at how well Derek cooked . . . she wondered if there wasn't anything he didn't do perfectly.

"There may even be ice cream for desert if I have helpers to clean up. Any takers?" Derek said smiling at the three kids.

All three kids raised their hands excitedly in the air and shouted, "Me. . . Me . . . me . . . we are good helpers."

Meredith and Alex looked in amazement . . . this was so natural for Derek. Alex couldn't believe these were the same kids how refused to clean their rooms or clean anything. Morgan insisted on hiring a maid that came everyday to clean their house, so these kids never did any of this.

Alex took a few steps over to where Meredith was standing, "He really is . . . good with them." He said whispering in her ear.

She was standing—smiling . . . a happy, 'almost to good to be true' grin that she was sure had to do with thinking about just how great this was. "Yeah. . . " She said under her breath, thinking about her and Derek. . . in the future. . . in their kitchen. She couldn't believe she was even thinking this . . . it was too soon, but she had always been told sometimes you just know but she didn't think she believed in that stuff. . . until now.

Her thoughts were broken by the ringing of the doorbell. . .


	40. We Are Here For You

Derek immediately looked up from giving the kids instructions with a look of worry on his face. He didn't even consider the possibility of meeting her eldest brother; he is not sure how he missed that. 

Alex looked at Meredith and smiled. . . He knew this was likely going to be Bryant—he probably had gotten out of class early. He was about to go and open the door, but Meredith stopped him.

"I will go . . ." Meredith said wanting a second to warm him. . . or let him know Derek was here. She hoped her brothers would behave. She was so proud of Alex for accepting Derek and even trying to make conversation. Bryant was much easier than Alex normally, but . . . she never introduced him to any of her boys . . . there weren't any that stayed around long enough. She knew her parents wouldn't really care who she was with . . . and that is why it is so important that her brothers did approve and ultimately give their blessing. . .

Alex looked at Derek and saw it in his eyes . . . the worry . . . the small hint of fear. Alex wanted to tell him he had nothing to worry about because Alex knew . . . he was way more protective of Mer than Bryant. Alex shook his head at him and smiled. . .

Derek wasn't exactly sure what to take of Alex's gesture, one that told him he should be worried, or one that said things would be ok. He tried to keep focused on cleaning with the kids. . .

Meredith opened the door. . . "Bryant . . . you are early. We weren't expecting you for at least another hour or so."

"I let my class out early. I wanted to get back to my hellions. . . They really aren't . . . but, sometimes. . ." He sighed before continuing, "Morgan . . . she seems to be gone more and more." He said looking down, trying not to face what really happened today. . .

"Yeah. . . Marissa said something about that. Bryant . . . could her and I have a girl's night. . . I really think she needs it. Maybe next weekend. . ."

He tried to put on his best smile, "That would be good I think. . . WHO THE HELL IS THAT WITH MY KIDS." He said when he looked up from looking down. He stormed into the kitchen. . . "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? MEREDITH DIDN'T TELL ME ANYONE WAS COMING OVER." Bryant yelled making it in a few short strides from the door to within a few steps of Derek . . . causing Derek to turn around while keeping his arm around Braden so he doesn't fall. . . Braden was sitting on the kitchen counter, helping to wash the dishes to hand them to Banks who was loading the dishwasher while Marissa was cleaning the stove off. . .

Alex and Meredith had no idea what to do . . . this wasn't their brother – he was usually really laid back and easy going about everything. They had no idea he would react this way . . . they would have made sure Derek was somewhere else. . .

Everyone stood still for what seemed like eternity but was really just a few seconds, "Daddy . . . this is Derek. . . Aunt Meredith's boyfriend." Marissa said smiling at Derek, then smiling at Meredith, then back at her dad.

Derek, knowing he needed to say something stepped forward, wiping his hands on a dishtowel to stick out his hand, "Um. . . Hello. . . I am Derek. . . Derek Shepherd . . . and. . .for the record. . . I am . . . we haven't declared exactly who I am to Meredith; we do have rules set up though. I just wanted to. . . " Derek said knowing he was doing the ramble. . . something that Meredith did. 

Derek was abruptly interrupted, "I don't care who the fuck you are." Bryant winced knowing he just said the word he didn't like saying in front of his children. Not even making a move to stick out his hand in response.

"Bryant. . ." Alex came up to him and put his hand on his shoulder. "We should talk . . . in the other room."

Bryant looked at Alex and knew his was right. . . "Meredith . . . you watch my children please they are not to be left alone . . . do you hear me?" Bryant said scathingly to her.

Meredith looked at him with tears in her eyes . . . she was trying to hold them in, but she just . . . she didn't understand. . . Derek didn't deserve this . . . he was just helping.

"Bryant. . . I wouldn't do anything . . . ever. . . Derek . . . he was just trying to. . ." Meredith said looking in Bryant's direction. Derek looked into her eyes for understanding . . . for guidance, but in this moment, she had no idea what to do.

"I should go. . . I need to go." Derek said looking at Meredith, grabbing his keys off of the counter.

"But . . . ice cream . . . we are having ice cream . . . we are all cleaning and then ice cream." Marissa said looking at Derek with the eyes that no one could resist.

"Yeah . . . we have to have ice cream." Banks said.

Bryant looked at all three children. . . Braden being the last one he looked at. What he saw broke his heart . . . he had tears running down his face. . . Bryant yelled, he lost control . . . right now, he had no control over anything in his life but his children . . . and it felt as though he was losing that right now having to drop them off for his sister and brother to watch.

"Derek . . . you stay here and finish cleaning, then ice cream . . . with the kids . . . Meredith. . .you help them and Bryant . . . come with me." Alex said not leaving room for anything different to happen. Alex knew this was not his brother . . . he was easier going than Meredith and Alex put together. . .

Everyone got busy with the plan Alex set forth. . .

Meredith went straight to Braden and gave him a hug, "Daddy scared me. . ."

"He was just shocked . . . he will be ok." Meredith said drying the tears off of his cheek.

"Mer. . . I am sorry. . . I didn't know. . ." Derek said coming up behind her, rubbing her back. He noticed the tears starting the second Bryant lost control.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. . . I think something is going on, but he shouldn't have. . ." Meredith stopped not wanting to say more in front of the kids . . . but, she knew this was not her brother.

"I am sorry. . . I said something about you being Aunt Mer's boyfriend. . ." Marissa said looking down at her feet.

Derek squatted down to get to her level. . . "Hey . . . you have nothing to be sorry for . . . and for the record. . . I want to be your Aunt Mer's boyfriend. I just have to get her to say yes." He said smiling watching her look up and smile. They had decided there would be no one else . . . but the actual title never came up.

"I knew you did and she will say yes . . . she likes you." She said smiling, looking up at her aunt.

"I am standing right here." She said watching the exchange between Derek and her niece causing her to smile.

"Oh . . . you are. . ." He said standing back up and taking a step towards her while Braden is still around her tightly.

"So . . . girlfriend . . . that is a fancy title . . . first comes rules . . . then comes the girlfriend . . . what comes next?" She said, realizing what she just said without thinking, a habit she wishes she could break.

"Mer. . . Next comes Sunday. . ." He said smiling, knowing he didn't need to say what he was really thinking, but Sunday . . . it was the next step in their relationship. He went back to working on the dishes and cleaning the kitchen as the kids helped as much as they could. All 5 of them were trying to process what happened when Bryant come in.

Meanwhile, in Alex's room. . .

"What in the fuck are you thinking?" Alex said looking at his brother.

"Who the fuck do you think you are bringing him in here. . . I don't know him . . . and my kids . . . they wanted to spend time with you and Meredith . . . not one of her fuck partners." Bryant said. He knew she slept around. . . Alex made enough comments over the years that made it no secret.

Alex sighed, "Bryant, what is wrong with you? This isn't about Derek. But . . . there is something you need to know." Alex stopped waiting, making sure it was ok to continue. Bryant was silent so Alex continued. . .

"You know. . . Mer and I . . . we have a bond . . . one that makes me overly protective over her." He smiled thinking about this.

Derek let out a small laugh, "Yeah . . . you are tougher on them . . . you really gave it to her and any boy in high school . . . but that never stopped her."

"No. . . And I never approved of any of them . . . and Derek. . . I didn't . . . approve at all . . . but, Bryant. . . I know her . . . you have always talked about the connection we have." Alex said, thinking about all of the times he wondered if Bryant was a little jealous of the connection between the twins.

"You do . . . it is crazy, but you do have it. . ." Bryant said wanting to hear what his little brother had to say.

"Listen . . . Meredith, she is the happiest she has ever been. Derek. . . I wanted to hate him. . . But, there isn't anything to hate. . . He is everything we would want for her. Trust me, I didn't want to face it, but really . . . you should have seen him tonight. He came because they were supposed to go out on a date and she said she was ordering pizza and apparently he is a health nut and couldn't believe that she was going to feed the kids pizza." He said, before laughing, "That sounded fucking stupid . . ."

They both laughed, "But . . . what kind of guy does shit like that . . . doesn't he know . . . true love, it doesn't exist." Bryant said shaking his head with a blank expression, unsure what to say next.

"This isn't about Derek. . ." Alex said clearly.

Bryant sat down on the bed and lay back covering his face. . . "Morgan is leaving . . . she told me last night."

Alex had no idea what to say. . . "Why? Did that bitch give a reason?"

"We have been over for a while . . . but, she is leaving . . . she actually left. She left me a note while I was gone today . . . she is gone and didn't leave anything behind . . . she said she was moving to another state, she needed a fresh start and now. . . I have to look at my children and tell them . . . their mother isn't coming back . . . or at least, not right now. What kind of fucking mother does that? She can leave me . . . we . . . there isn't anything there and hasn't been for a while . . . but her kids. . ."

"I am sorry. . . We are here for you and the kids . . . let it out though. . . " Alex said knowing his brother was trying to hold in the tears. . . but. . . the second Alex said that, Bryant let them out. . .

Back in the kitchen, they finished cleaning and fixed their ice cream. Meredith and Derek kept exchanging glances, wondering what was going on. . . The kids were enjoying their ice cream when Bryant and Alex appeared 30 minutes later.

Meredith looked up first to see them . . . she saw her older brother . . . broken . . . she knew . . . this had nothing to do with Derek and everything to do with Bryant. Something was wrong.

They all watched Bryant come to the table and sit down. . .

"Derek. . . I owe you an apology . . . and you three. . . I love you so much and I am so sorry. . ." He stopped, holding back the tears. . . "I should not have come in here screaming. I am sorry . . . you had to see me like that. I love you so much and never forget that. You also have a wonderful aunt and uncle who love you as well. It also seems Mer's boyfriend likes you too." He said talking very softly and smiling . . . the best smile he could give at this moment.

All three children got up to give their daddy the biggest hug ever . . . he needed it . . . they were going to need each other.

Meredith just looked between Alex and Brant. . . Bryant mouthed, "I love you, " to his sister.

"I love you too," She mouthed back.

"Hey guys . . . what would you say if Uncle Alex came home with us tonight?" Bryant suggested, something Alex and he talked about.

"What about mommy?" Braden asked.

Bryant wanted to kill her for this . . . not even having the courage to stay. They were going to tell the kids this weekend, but she just left. How can someone do that? "She won't be home tonight . . . but, Uncle Alex will do his special Braden Burger tonight." This was a special bedtime thing that they did when Alex stayed with them a few months.

"You will?" Braden asked smiling. . .

"Yep, I will do the Braden Burger, the Banks Bark, and the Marissa Marshmallow." He said smiling, thinking about the bed time rituals with each child. He loved these children . . . and loved the time he spent with them. He knew that he would be spending a lot of time with these chilren

"Ok . . . let's go home." Bryant said. He wanted to tell them, but not tonight. . . He just needed to become ok with it himself before he could tell his children. . .


	41. Waking Up

She could feel the morning sunlight coming through the windows of her bedroom. . . Meredith was glad that morning was here. . . Last night was filled with many emotions. She still didn't know what exactly was going on with Bryant, but she would find out soon enough. She found it strange Alex went to stay the night with Bryant, but, she hated to think she wasn't too disappointed because Derek was able to stay with her. 

She looked over . . . taking in the scene beside her. . . Derek, laying on his stomach . . . his arm wrapped around her mid-section. She wanted this . . . to wake up with him like this every morning, something she didn't think she would ever want with a man. This was only the second time she found herself exposing her entire self to him all night and into the morning making her smile even bigger. . . she didn't think she deserved this a few weeks ago; however, she was getting used to this idea—loving the idea.

Last night, after Bryant, Alex, and the kids left, they didn't know what to say to each other. Derek felt terrible . . . he never considered the possibility coming over and cooking for Meredith and her family could go so horribly wrong. Meredith explained to him there was much more going on with him, she just didn't know what. They spent the night talking and falling asleep in each other's arm . . . affectionately making love before going to sleep.

She felt a large hand move from around her abdomen to her thigh, rubbing up and down causing tingles to run throughout her body. She smiled and turned over to face his sleeping form lying beside her. She saw him smile . . . with his eyes still shut, "Good morning . . . why are you awake?" He groggily said still keeping his eyes shut.

"What? I am not awake?" She said smiling wondering how he knew.

"And that tells me clearly you aren't awake." He said smiling with his hand traveling up her waist and onto her stomach.

"How did you know?" She asked wondering. . .

"You weren't snoring and you were fidgeting a little." He said finally opening his eyes a bit, pulling her tightly into him.

"I was not . . . no snoring and no fidgeting. . . I don't snore." She said playfully laughing.

"You were snoring and fidgeting, and I find it cute . . . sexy even." He said feeling himself grow beneath himself. . .

"You think that is sexy. . . I can show you sexy. . ." She said, taking his shoulder and forcing his whole body to turn over on his back . . . and straddling him . . . all in one fluid moment.

He looked up at her, shocked at her taking control . . . he liked this control, "You . . . pushed me." He didn't think she could be so forceful . . . not that he was complaining.

"I would never . . ." She said with a sexy smile forming when she saw just how ready he was. . . She threw herself into him . . . her lips crashing into his forcefully . . . passionately . . . but tenderly . . . Her hands working through his chest hairs, lightly pulling them. . .

She moved quickly from his lips, down his jaw line to his ear lobe . . . sucking on it, lightly nibbling at it. . .

He let out a soft moan, moving his hands freely along her skin . . . he started at the back of her neck . . . moving up and down her bare back. . . stopping when he got to her ass. He pushed her into him harder, making her feel just how ready he was.

"Derek . . . you are so fucking hard. . . " She barely got out before moving back to his lips . . . kissing them. . . needing him. . . letting her tongue show him what she wanted him to do to her pussy. . .

Her tongue fucking his mouth was too much for him . . . he had the need . . . the need to take control. . . he pushed her off of him. . . rolling on top of her to the other side of her. . . planting his feet on the floor beside the bed and grabbing her waist to bend her over the bed. . . face down. . .

"Fuck, Derek. . ." She said needing him . . . now.

He just smiled; looking at her ass . . . it was perfect . . . he needed to make sure she was completely ready for him, sticking a finger in her pussy . . . that was awaiting him, "Fuck, Meredith. . . you are so fucking perfect. . ." He said with the tip of his cock waiting to enter her . . . he could feel the heat radiating off of her opening. . .

"I need you. . ." Meredith moaned feeling the tip of his cock dangling there . . . teasing her with his hard cock.

"You need this?" He said, thrusting deep and hard inside of her steadying himself by grabbing her hips . . . staying as deep as he could for a few seconds before coming out of her slowly.

"Oh . . . my . . . god . . . your cock is so fucking good. . ." She said throwing her head back as he steadied himself again to thrust into her again . . . harder and stronger, her feet coming off of the ground, causing both of them to moan even louder.

"Faster. . . Oh god, faster. . ." Meredith shouted not caring that Cristina was in the room beside her.

"Like this. . ." Derek said thrusting into her again, this time sliding in and out of her fast and hard. . .

"Perfect . . . so fucking perfect!" She said starting to pant with every thrust, needing more of him. . .

Derek took one of his hands off of her hip and reached around to her clit. . . "Oh, shit. . . Derek. . ." She almost couldn't take it . . . the sheer intensity that she felt building . . . she was on the brink of explosion when he pulled out. . .

He wanted to see her . . . see her eyes when she exploded with him filling her. . . "Derek. . ."

"I want to see you. . ." He said flipping her over on her back as she reached up and pulled him down on top of her, kissing him hard on the lips. . .

She put her arms around him and turned him back around on his back in one fluid motion. Before he could say or do anything, she mounted him . . . coming down hard on his big, hard cock . . . the best she has ever had. . .

"Fuck, Mer. . ." He said loving that she wasn't scared to take control. . . He was able to see her breasts . . . moving up and down to the rhythm she was riding him. He wanted them . . . he grabbed both breasts with his hands causing her to let out a big moan.

"Oh . . . god. . ." Meredith said using her legs for leverage to ride him making sure he filled her completely ever time she came down on him. . .

"Oh . . . god, mer. . . I am close. . ." He said trying to hold out, but Meredith . . . she was perfect.

"I am . . . Oh FUCK. . ." Meredith said . . . as her walls started to contract around Derek's hard cock. . .

The second Derek felt her contracting tightly around him, he exploded into her. . . Yelling his name . . . both of them yelling each other's name as they hit their high at the same time. . .

When they caught their breaths. . . Meredith lay back down beside Derek, resting her head on his shoulder. . . "That was. . . "

"Amazing. . . You are amazing in so many ways." Derek said smiling even though Meredith couldn't see it with his hand running through her hair.

"I am glad you are in my bed." Meredith said after a minute or so of lying . . . taking in every moment.

"I couldn't imagine another place I would rather be." Derek responded knowing he had a stupid, cheesy smile planted on his face.

"Sleep. . . I think we should sleep . . . study later." Meredith said knowing they had to study. They had Friday's off to study. . .

"Yes. . . We need to. It is going to be a busy weekend with practice at the track this afternoon, race tomorrow night, and a special something happening Sunday. I think I may have promised the perfect date to someone. . ." He said whispering into her hair, kissing her head lightly.

"Do I know this someone?" She said smiling.

"I think you may. . . She is . . . a remarkable woman in all ways." 

"This woman sounds pretty great."

"Yes . . . and she isn't afraid to take control. . ."

"My kind of woman." She said knowing this moment was perfect.

"I think so. . ." Derek said as they both closed their eyes . . .

Both of them were so happy in this moment . . . neither cared they had just woken up . . . not looking their best . . . exposed in the most vulnerable ways . . . neither thought they would be in this place in their relationship a few weeks ago, there were so many things that stood in the way, but now . . . here they were, with a connection that couldn't be broken. . .


	42. Good Luck

Meredith spent her time Friday afternoon and most of the day Saturday studying. She wanted to be able to enjoy her time with Derek on Sunday without the guilt of feeling like she needed to study; the only way to do that was to spend her time Friday and Saturday studying. 

She was nervous and excited for the race tonight. The last race was difficult for Meredith. Of course, their relationship wasn't out in the open, so she was inwardly conflicted . . . but, now . . . it is in the open and she didn't know how that would work tonight. Alex wanted her to go to help him practice yesterday, but it was a private practice session, the first one for Derek and Alex since they agreed upon trying it. She thought it would be best if she wasn't there for this first one. Thankfully, Derek and she never talked about racing, but she knew it was only a matter of time before it came up. She knew Derek was going to be studying also during his free time . . . so they didn't have to worry about it on Sunday. . .

"Hello?" Meredith answered her phone without looking at the caller ID as she was hurriedly getting ready to go to the race. She and Izzie had lost track of time as they were studying together this afternoon at the condo. Meredith wasn't sure what is going on with Cristina, she was staying away quite a lot the last week. She figured it was for the better.

"Hey Meredith . . . are you going to the race tonight" Bryant said.

"Yeah. . . I am just getting ready now. . . I was studying and lost track of time." She said trying to flat iron her hair at the same time.

"I wanted to go. . . But, Banks . . . he is running a fever, it seems to be a sinus infection or something like that . . . and I wanted to see if. . . Marissa and Braden could really benefit from getting out of the house. Would you mind if I brought them to the track and you watch them. . . I will even come and pick them up when the race is over because I know you guys . . . like to go out, but the race . . . and it will actually be a good time for Banks and I to spend some time together. . . he seems really down."

Meredith interrupted him, "You know I would love to have them join me at the race. I am sure Izzie will love that and I can bring them back to you after the race . . . The Temple will wait on me." She said laughing.

"I am sure it will. Are you sure you don't mind, and this Izzie person . . . she won't mind?" He asked really not wanting to impose.

"No. . . I am sure she loves kids actually . . . she is kind of . . . bubbly . . . but, really nice." Meredith said knowing Izzie was the type of person to love kids. She talked about a possible interest in peds for a specialty . . . even though they are just starting out—it is never too early to think about it.

"So . . . the anti-Cristina. . ." Bryant laughed thinking about how he really never cared for Cristina. . . he wondered why her and his sister were such good friends, but Alex explained to him they would do anything for each other. . .

Meredith laughing, "Yeah . . . something like that. So, the kids. . . I can meet you at the front gate in about 30 minutes. How does that work for you?"

"Perfect. Meredith. . . You have no idea what this means. . . and I owe you BIG TIME." He said sighing wishing he didn't have to do this to his sister.

"Bryant. . . I hope you tell me soon what is going on."

"How . . . do you know?" He asked.

"Call it sibling intuition. . ."

"I thought that was only between you and Alex . . ." Bryant said surprised.

"Big brother . . . you called the other night for me to keep the kids because you had to work and Morgan . . . she wasn't there. . . Now, tonight, you are calling for me to watch the kids at the track so you can stay home with Banks . . . again, with no Morgan available to do it . . . doesn't take a genius." She said . . . thinking about how much she hated Morgan . . . it was obvious the kids were already affected by her absence. . . which is why Meredith is going to be available to them as much as she can.

"She left. . . I can't say more right now . . . we will talk soon . . . just know Mer. . . I love you and really appreciate everything you and Alex is doing right now. One day. . . I will repay the favor."

"That is what we are here for. . . Now. . .get those kids ready to meet me. . . I can't wait to see them. I love you and those kids. . . TONS . . . and I will be here." Meredith said knowing her own mother did something very similar to her. She had no female role model in her life as a child . . . but, Marissa . . . would always have Meredith.

About 30 minutes, later, Izzie and Meredith parked in the VIP parking that she was always able to park in. She saw Bryant and the kids waiting for her at the entrance. Alex had already gotten them the passes they would need for the race and the seats they get to sit in.

The kids stood with big smiles on their faces. . . Even Banks had a smile . . . it would be just him and his dad tonight. "Hey there guys. . ." Meredith said, smiling to them all when she walked up with Izzie, "I am glad you guys are going to get to hang out with me tonight. Banks, I am sorry you are sick, but you get your daddy all to yourself." 

Banks smiled and Bryant ruffled his hair. Marissa looked curiously to the tall blonde that was walked up with her aunt, "Aunt Mer, who is that? She is very pretty." Marissa said whispering over to Meredith.

Meredith giggled to herself, "Guys . . . this is my friend Isobel Stevens, but everyone calls her Izzie."

"You are very pretty." Marissa said smiling up at the tall blonde as Bryant was looking at Izzie. Meredith noticed that her brother was checking Izzie out. She is a model, something she didn't share with people right away, but she told Meredith it was a way to make money to pay for school and living expenses.

Izzie being typical Izzie, stuck out her hand, "Hi, You must be Bryant, Mer and Alex's older brother."

Bryant returned the shake, "Hello . . . Bryant is my name."

"And you, you must be Marissa . . . your aunt was right. . .You are the prettiest little girl ever." Izzie said watching Marissa's change from smiling widely to frowning at Meredith unaware what she had said that was wrong. . .

"I am not little. . ." She said with her hands on her hips looking between Meredith and Izzie . . .

"Oh. . . not little girl. . . prettiest young lady." Izzie corrected trying not to laugh. She can clearly remember being like this. She also remembers Meredith saying something about how old she acted.

"I am also not young." She said emphatically. 

"Marissa. . ." Bryant said shaking his head at her.

"But, daddy . . ." She said . . .

Izzie hadn't been around kids a lot, but she knew she needed to do something to divert attention, so she bent back down to Braden and Bank's level. . . "And you guys must be Braden and Banks . . . It is nice to meet you. . ."

"Yes . . . I am Banks and I am the oldest. . . But, I am sick so I am not staying with you guys, but daddy says he has a special night planned, isn't that right dad." He said looked up at his father.

"That is correct, son." He said rubbing the hair on his head and smiling down at his son.

"Ok. . .Guys . . . we better get in . . . I need to see. . ." Meredith stopped suddenly, her stomach turning upside down. _Oh my god . . . was I really about to say Derek. . . Alex . . . he is my brother . . . my twin . . . my other half . . . but Derek, he is . . . OH SHIT . . . this is so damn complicated. FUCK . . . what am I going to do? I want to see Derek . . . before the race. . . I am his girlfriend so I should support him, but Alex. . ."_

"Meredith? Are you ok?" Izzie asked noticing Meredith kind of blanked out for a second.

Bryant was also watching her closely, figuring the problem was two racers that she cared for very much. He was a real ass to Derek the other night and he realized it was unjust. . . Marissa talked about how great he was and how happy Meredith seemed to be. The boys lit up when they talked about tag teaming against Alex and Derek. He knew that if Alex could accept him, so could he. In fact, before he, Alex, and the kids left the other night . . . he saw Derek walk over to Meredith and kiss her forehead. Alex was getting the kids in the car and Bryant had stayed behind to call one of Morgan's co-worker's to see if he could get some information. If nothing else, just for his children, he knew this wasn't fair to them—he would be ok, but his children . . . they didn't deserve this. As he walked back in the room . . . he saw it . . . the look and the kiss and he knew. . . Alex was right—they were . . . great together.

Bryant took a step towards her and gave her a hug. . . "I know . . . the conflict is hard for you . . . you can support them both you know. . . Alex will never ask you to choose . . . he knows. . ." Bryant stopped to gain his composure. . . "Derek is . . . you guys are . . . I am really sorry for the other night, I was a real ass." He said into her ear. . .

She pulled back to look at him . . . his eyes that were on the verge of shedding tears. . ."Bryant . . . you were an ass, but . . . something . . . is up with you and you can tell me." She said the last part as quietly as she did not want the kids to hear.

"The kids. . ." He nodded both of them knowing he didn't want to say anything else in front of them.

"I love you and I will see you after the race. . ." She said to him giving him another hug. "Are you two ready?" Meredith asked to Marissa and Braden. They both yelled out an excited, "yes. . ."

They all walked in together with the kids excited as was Izzie. She had been too one other race and she thoroughly enjoyed it. Mark wanted to see her before the race and she was excited to see him. They had been spending some time together even though he was her TA. . .They tried not to spend time on campus, but that was difficult because they wanted to be together. In fact, one of the other girls saw them talking and warned Izzie that he just was a love em and leave em type of guy. Izzie didn't know what to make of this . . . but, for now, she would just have fun . . . but, she couldn't shake the feeling that she thought she might be falling for him.

The second they got to the pit area. . . "Meredith. . ." She heard her name called in somewhat of a panic.

"Brad . . . what is it?" She asked the second he got to her.

"Alex . . . he needs you to look at something. . ."

Meredith looked around wondering what she was going to do with the munchkins . . . "Izzie? Do you mind?"

"Not at all. . ." She replied.

"You guys need to stay with Izzie. . . I will be right back." Meredith said watching both of them nod and smile up at Izzie.

Meredith took off jogging down to Alex's pit while Izzie stood for a second figuring out where to go.

"Izzie?" She heard his voice the second she felt the arms wrap around her. . .

"I think someone would be jealous if they saw you doing that." She said smiling.

"I think so too . . . that is why I am the only one allowed." Mark said into her ear.

"There are children . . . and that . . . you can't . . . and if we are on the subject . . . you aren't allowed either for others to do that or anything to you." She said pulling out of his arms. She couldn't resist him . . . he had awakened her beast and it needed to be feed often . . . because the food . . . was the best she had ever had. . .

"No one else. . . In the past. . ." Mark stopped not sure what to say. . . "No one else." He said quietly. He wasn't ready to say more yet. He wasn't sure if he could really do it. . . Be with one woman, but damn, he sure wanted to try. He was falling for her . . . and this was very new to him.

"Good. . ." Izzie said seeing a look in Mark's eyes . . . not sure exactly what it meant, but she figured for now, she would just let it go. . .

"Izzie, did you forget to tell me something?" Mark said looking at the kids.

Izzie laughed, "No, Mark. . ."

"Then who owns these little rugrats?" He asked looking at them.

Marissa being Marissa put her hands on her hips, "We belong to ourselves . . . no one owns us."

"You definitely must be related to Meredith, you have her bossiness and the look . . ."

"What exactly are you saying Mister. . ." Marissa saying getting a little more frustrated. . .

Izzie decided she needed to step in, "Mark, this is Marissa and Braden . . . They are Meredith and Alex's niece and nephew. . . Meredith is watching them for her brother tonight."

"I hope Meredith isn't planning on bringing them to the Temple tonight . . . that is if she goes. . . Shep said some nonsense about them needing their sleep, if you ask me they should just go and f . . ." Mark was quickly stopped by Izzie's hand covering his mouth. "So . . . is it just the two of you?" Mark asked realizing he needed to watch what he said.

"We have a brother, but, he is sick, so daddy had to keep him, his name is Banks, and he is older than me, but Marissa. . . she really is the boss, or she thinks she is." Braden said smiling.

"I think I like you kiddo." Mark said laughing and rubbing his hair.

The four of them talked for a few minutes when Meredith came back up. "Hey Mark. . . I hope you aren't corrupting my niece and nephew. . ." Meredith hadn't known him long, but knew him well enough to know he possibly could be corrupting them in the small time she was gone.

"Never, Grey . . . Plus, I have to be on my best behavior. . . Izzie is here. . ." He said smiling at her. . .

"Who are you and where is my best friend?" They all heard from outside their circle they were standing in . . .

"Oh . . . shut up, Derek. . . Like you aren't some cheesy ass with Meredith." Mark said laughing.

"Mark . . . kids. . ." He reminded Mark as he went straight to Meredith quickly hugging her tightly.

"I see you brought some supporters. . ." He said pulling out of the close embrace to look at Marissa and Braden.

"Not for you. . . We have to cheer for Uncle Alex. . . I like you and all, but he is my uncle. . . but, I don't know what I will do soon because my daddy and Uncle Alex say you may be my uncle one day . . . but. . ." Marissa stopped when she noticed everyone starring at her strangely, "Why are you people looking at me like that?"

"I think I really like these kids." Mark said laughing . . . breaking the silence that quickly formed.

"Well. . . I don't think I was supposed to hear them talking, but I was awake. . . I also heard them talk about mommy. . . But, I couldn't quite hear what they were talking about. They were doing lots of whispering and I couldn't hear. I need to be a better sneaker." She said frankly.

Meredith and Derek looked at each other, not really sure what to say or do at this point.

"Aunt Meredith, I am hungry. . ." Braden said causing Meredith and Derek to breathe a sigh of relief.

"I think that is a good idea. Would you guys mind if I took you. . . " Izzie said to the two kids.

"No. . . We don't mind. I know you just want to let them be alone. . ." Marissa said smiling at her aunt and Derek.

"I think I have met my match. I think we need to hang out some, kid." Mark said.

"How many times do I have to tell you people, I AM NOT A KID!" She said to Mark with gesturing, big gesturing. . .

"Let's go. . ." Izzie said.

"I am going to the pit." Mark said giving Izzie a quick hug and kiss. . . "See you after the race."

"Yea. . ." Izzie said as they all walked off leaving Derek and Meredith. . .

"Derek. . . I don't know why they were talking, I am sorry. . . I haven't said anything like that to them. . . STUPID BOYS. . ." Meredith was in total freak out mode. . .

"Mer. . . Stop . . . it is ok . . . plus, I . . . stupid boys. . ." He wanted to say it. . . he wanted to say they were right, but not tonight, tomorrow, he was telling her tomorrow. . . big things. . . not a proposal or anything. . . they were no where near that. . . but, it was big, very big. He just hoped she didn't freak out like she just did.

"That is all I am saying." She said smiling at him. [i_But . . .do I want him to be their uncle one day? OH MY GOD . . . can it be true? This . . . it is too soon to even think that way and my brothers . . . they really said that. . . I mean. . . Derek . . . he is great. But . . . That . . . the M word . . . it is big and scary and . . . He is so damn great . . . but, this. . . Stop Meredith. . ._ [/i

"So . . . tonight . . . I think we skip the Temple tonight and get some sleep. . . [i_We_[/i have a busy day tomorrow . . ." He said raising his eyebrows at her.

"I like the way you think?" She said hugging him tightly.

"Mer. . . As much as I don't want to say this right now, I am. . . I am picking you up in the morning because if we do what I know you are thinking . . . sleeping definitely won't be involved . . ." He said sighing knowing he didn't really want to say that, but he had a small drive for their date. . . and it was going to be a full day.

Meredith pulled away from him a little and looked into his dashing blue eyes. . . "I think that sounds perfect actually."

"I need to . . . get going. . . I have a race to win and all . . ." Derek said regretfully pulling her into him one last time, kissing the top of her head, like a habit that he was starting to get used to.

"Yes . . . you do . . . but, you will have to beat my twin brother . . . who is a fierce competitor." Meredith said smirking, both of them pulling out the embrace.

"Yes . . . but, I think I need one thing from you, and then you can go to be in your brother's corner. . ." He said raising an eyebrow.

"And what might that be Mr. Shepherd?" She said equally returning the look.

"A good luck kiss. . . It is the only way I let you go and cheer on your brother. . . Although I know you will secretly be cheering me on. . ."

"Well. . . I think I can do that." She said wrapping her hands around the back of his neck and pulling him in . . . she loved the taste of his sweet lips . . .

It started out as a very soft kiss . . . but quickly turned into one of desire . . . they had not seen each other since yesterday morning. . . "Mer. . ." He breathed into her mouth.

"Yeah. . ." She said pulling away. . . "Good luck." She said smirking a little while she turned away around and walked away to find Izzie and the kids.

"How am I ever going to race now?" Derek said under his breath, smiling, watching her walk away. . . She was perfect and she was his. He couldn't wait to spend the entire day with her . . . it was going to be great . . .


	43. The Anticipation

Meredith woke up to the sound of her cell phone alarm going off at 7:30am. She grumbled and turned over to turn it off. She knew she had to get up to get ready. Derek told her she needed her rest because they had a busy day. He told her to dress casual for the day . . . and that is all he would tell her. It was late September in Arizona; she would definitely bring a sweater or a light pullover in case it got cooler. . .

Derek told her last night she needed to be ready to go around 8am . . . She was not happy with him in this moment for making her get up so early, but she smiled thinking about the day she was about to spend with him. The second her feet hit the floor, she heard her phone beep indicating she had a text message. . .

_From: Dreamy Lover _

_Are you awake and ready? I will be there in 10 minutes. _

_7:31am 9/25 _

"WHAT? 10 minutes . . . you told me 8. . . I have to get ready." She yelled to herself in her room, running into the bathroom to brush her teeth. She had no idea what she was going to do with her hair. . . she decided to get the flat iron out for now and she would carry something to put it up later if she needed to. She hurriedly got ready and 10 minutes later, she heard the doorbell ring. . .

She walked out of her room to be face to face with Cristina . . . "Who in the hell is ringing the doorbell this early on a Sunday morning."

"It is nice to see you too this morning. . . I am going to be gone for the day. . ." She said smiling while walking down the stairs leaving Cristina to stand there wondering who this happy person was that she called her person. Cristina had been spending a lot of time at school and in her room in the last week.

Meredith opened the door to see him looking perfect . . . his hair was all over the place . . . perfection. He smiled at her . . . happy to see her up and ready to go. He was a little nervous she wouldn't be after he didn't hear back from her, "Ready to go?"

"I am." She said smiling at him nodding her head.

He pulled her in to him and said. . . "Ready for the ride of your life?"

"Take me for a ride, Derek." She said, lightly kissing his lips.

"Let's go." He said putting his arm around her tightly.

They walked outside to get into his car, his BMW convertible that was a few years old. Derek had taken the shell of the car and he and Mark rebuilt the engine. He walked around to her side of the car and opened the door for her, giving her a quick kiss before she got in. After she was in, he went around getting in the driver's seat. . .

"So, are you ever going to tell me where we are going or are you just planning on kidnapping me?" Meredith asked smiling over at him . . . she loved this . . . how normal this felt with him . . . being in his car . . . going somewhere with him for the day.

"You . . . just sit back and enjoy. . ." He said putting his hand on her thigh and reaching over with his other hand to pull her towards him to give her another kiss . . . he just couldn't get enough of her. . . This kiss . . . had more behind it. . .

"Derek. . ." Meredith moaned.

Derek pulled back, "With that, I think we need to take off. . ."

"Yeah. . ." She whispered smiling to herself . . . she knew this was going to be a great day. She just didn't realize how great.

Derek started the car with the radio blasting the second the car turned on. . . Meredith looked at him, "Seriously. . . Derek. . . The Clash?"

Derek backed out of the parking spot. . . "What is wrong with The Clash . . . they are a great band. . ."

"No. . . Duran Duran . . . now that was a great band." Meredith said smiling. This was great . . . she didn't realize she could get so excited just talking about music they liked. She hoped the day was like this . . . finding out these things they didn't know about each other yet.

"Duran Duran. . . Next you are going to tell me you like the Go Go's. . ."

"And what is wrong with the Go Go's?" She said smiling at him. . .

He flashed a quick smile in her direction, keeping his hand on her thigh, rubbing it gently. He actually was thinking he may need to move that hand or they would be making an unexpected stop. . . Derek clears his throat and takes his hand away. . .

She knew what his hand on her thigh was doing to both of them. . . So, she needed to divert the attention, "What are other things about you that I need to know . . . as a girlfriend. . ."

"Like what. . ." He asks smiling. . .

"Favorite ice cream flavor . . . you know . . . stuff. . ." She said giggling back. . .

"Let's see . . . coffee ice cream . . . I cheat when I do the crossword puzzles on Sunday morning . . . I have four sisters and a brother if you include Mark and everyone does . . . 9 nieces and 5 nephews . . . Single Malt Scotch is my drink of choice, but I think you have seen that on an occasion or two." He said smiling in her direction . . . thinking about the first night he saw her at the Temple. . .

"And fast cars. . . Mark and I, we built this car essentially . . . you have no idea of the power. . . My dream car though . . . a Jaguar...1954 XK 120 SE in red. . . One day. . ." He said thinking about his future . . . hoping the woman sitting beside him right now would be a part of this dream car. . .

"You were definitely fast last night . . . you realize I should be pissed at you . . . beating my brother. . ." She said smirking at him.

"He wasn't even in the pack last night . . . he seemed distracted Friday afternoon at practice . . . is he ok?" Derek asked truly concerned for him.

Meredith sighed . . . she figured what was wrong with Alex was the same thing wrong with Bryant. . . "I think Bryant has something big going on and Alex knows . . . he will tell me, but, there just hasn't been a chance . . . and. . . He really is sorry about the other night." She said glancing nervously over at him.

"Meredith. . . It seems something is wrong . . . his body language showed that as well. I really didn't take it personally." Derek said lovingly.

Meredith leaned over and kissed his cheek, "Thank you for understanding, Derek."

They rode in silence for a few minutes, "So, what about you . . . I told you about me. I need to know stuff too." He said looking over at her, grinning huge.

"I am boring . . . you know about me and my family." Meredith said.

"Meredith . . . you are far from boring. . . I know for a fact you are NOT boring." He said trying to keep himself from thinking about just how excited she made him.

"Ok. . . I like strawberry ice cream . . . tequila, I like tequila . . . only straight up though . . . My mother . . . I almost never hear from her unless she is calling to check up on me or have heard something about school . . . my dad . . . he left when we were young and I haven't seen him since." She said looking down at her lap, causing him to immediately grab her hand.

"Mer . . . I am . . . sorry. No one . . . should have to . . . experience that. My father died eight years ago . . . he was a surgeon, chief of surgery actually in New York." He had told Alex this one of the first few days of class, but it hadn't come up between him and Meredith.

They sat in silence, with their hands locked together, driving down the road. "Are we just going to be driving all day?" Meredith asked. . . They had been on the road for about 30 minutes.

"We have about an hour to go. . ." Derek said smiling over at her. . . "But, I love spending time with you, even driving in the car."

Meredith leaned over to him and whispered into his ear, "I think I like this too. . ." she said before letting her lips lightly brush his ear lobe.

Thirty minutes later Derek looked over at Meredith getting really fidgety. . . "Mer, you need to stop that."

"Ok, if you tell me where we are going . . . I will stop." She said smiling innocently up at him.

"Fine . . . we are going up to Sedona. But, that is all you are getting for now." Derek said shaking his head in disbelief that he caved and told her, but she had that effect on him. . .

They drove the rest of the way . . . both anticipating what was to come. . .

**This is the first of a few of the date and I hope you enjoy. . . **


	44. I Love You

Derek had never actually been to Sedona before. Since being in Phoenix the last year, he spent most of his time at school and at the track. . . He asked around for the best place to go within a few hours or Phoenix. Sedona was everyone's choice when he talked to people about where to go as there are some really great things there . . . for the perfect date. 

He had been planning this date for a few days now and he had special surprises along the way. . . He had big things to say. He didn't want to rush this, but he also knew he was ready. He just hoped she was and didn't freak out when he told her.

Derek made his way into downtown Sedona without any problems . . . he memorized the directions to everywhere he needed to go yesterday afternoon. He had the day planned and knew what time he needed to be in each place. He did have a "cheat sheet" in case he forgot anything . . . but, he wanted it to be smooth sailing today. . .

"Derek, why are we pulling up to a motorcycle rental place?" Meredith asked looking at him strangely.

"You said you were ready for the ride of your life . . ." He said smiling at her, putting the car into park.

"Seriously – a Harley, Derek. . . I can't ride a Harley . . . We both can't fit. . ." She said looking at him in disbelief, getting out of the car and walking around to his side.

"I guess you will have to sit close and hold on tight. Can you do that?" He said, challenging her. . .

"You better believe I can." She said pulling him into her by wrapping both hands to his ass, bringing him so close to her that he could feel her breath on his neck.

He was lost in her eyes . . . they were lost in each other's eyes . . . feeling her breasts up against his chest . . . he couldn't breathe, she was amazing. "Yes . . . yes you can." He managed to get out. He knew he had to break away from her now or he might just take her right there in the parking lot. . .

"Inside. . . I have to do the paperwork so we can get going." He managed to say once he regained composure. They walked into the rental place hand in hand. . .

Once the paperwork was done and the guy was going through all of the features of the bike, Meredith stood watching Derek . . . and how excited he was about the bike.

After the guy did the final checks and left them on their own, Meredith just looked at him, "You know how to drive that thing . . . right?"

"No, I thought I would learn today. . ." He said keeping a serious look.

"What the hell . . . are you trying to kill me today?"

Derek just looked at her and the look on her face and just busted out laughing. Meredith stood there with her hands on her hips, "You are going to get it mister!" She said laughing and trying to tickle him. . .

"STOP, Stop . . . we have to get going. But, I do know how to drive this thing. . . I have a bike; it is in storage right now. I don't have a place to keep it at the apartment, so Mark and I both have our bikes in storage."

"So, you have a motorcycle . . . I think I am starting to like guys with motorcycles—a complete turn on." She said raising her eyebrows at him.

"I like girls who will ride on the back of one. . ." He said giving her a quick kiss on her lips before handing her a helmet. . . It was a deep shade of red at the base of helmet, gradually turning into an orange at the top of the helmet.

"Sweet Cup, What is that?" She said looking at yellow writing on the helmet and the looking up at him like he was nuts. 

"Your call sign. This is your helmet. . . I figured you would need one because I plan on teaching you how to drive one of these. . . I know you like racing and fast cars . . . so, I figured you would love this also." He took a deep breath seeing her smile wider. "And the name. . . I racked my brain trying to think of a good one to put on there . . . and it hit me . . . passion fruit . . . and the grocery store. I was going to use sucks-a-lot because of the . . . um . . . cucumber . . . but, I didn't think that was appropriate . . . so, I went with this. It is the word for passion fruit in Jamaica . . ." He said smiling at her.

She looked up at him smiling thinking about their time in the grocery store. . . their first unofficial date. . . one that she called out of desperation to stay with him although they had planned on having dinner, but it turned out to be them studying and hanging out for the day, "You plan on teaching me, do you? And you think you can teach me?"

"I can teach you, I am a good teacher . . . we have already established that already. Now get that helmet on and let's go. . ." He said pulling his own helmet over his head. . .

"Why don't you have a name on your helmet?" Meredith asked as they both got on the bike.

"Oh. . . I have had this for a while. . . I just thought it would be fun to personalize yours. One of the surprises for today. . . Now, hang on tight. . ." With that he revved up the engine and away they went. . .

They drove about 25 minutes outside of Sedona . . . "Wow, where are we at?" Meredith asked.

" Oak Creek Canyon. We are going to hike a little ways. I am told there is some beautiful scenery." He said smiling at her, taking off his helmet as she followed suite.

She looked at him . . . and how perfect his hair was. It was messy and perfect all in one.

"What is it?" He asked noticing her looking at him. . .

"Oh . . . nothing . . . just . . . this is . . . amazing. . . I have never had . . . this is really amazing." She said looking down at her feet.

He knew this day really hasn't even started . . . He got all giggly inside thinking about it all, but held his outward composure. He took his hand and lightly guided her head back up to meet his eyes. . . "You . . . are . . . amazing." He said tilting his head and flashing her that McDreamy smile.

He reached down to kiss her lips, one he was going to make quick, but the minute his lips touched hers, she moaned . . . causing him to wrap his arms around her waist pulling her closer. He wanted to taste her sweet lips . . . and he wanted her to feel how ready he was for her. . . The second she moaned he felt himself stiffen. . .

Just the second Derek's hand had snaked under her shirt . . . they were interrupted by the beeping of a car. . . They both looked at each other, both giggling, "I think we need to get going on the trail." Meredith said smiling, her cheeks read from the heat that was radiating from them.

"I think you are right." Derek suggested smiling at her as they started up the trail.

They walked silently, holding hands the entire time taking in the beauty of the red rocks all around them. . . the second they saw the creek, they both gasped at the beauty. . . how the sun was shinning on the water and how that reflected off of the red rocks.

"Wow. . ." Meredith said just taking in all that was around her. She closed her eyes, taking in the smells . . . the warmth . . . the sounds . . . the touch . . .

Derek took his hand out of hers and wrapped it around her shoulder, "this is truly amazing and being here with you . . . there is no place I would rather be." He said looking down at her.

She turned to look at him in the eyes . . . wrapping her hands around the small of his back. . . the sun radiating around him . . . his hair blowing around in the very light breeze of the late morning. . The sparkling blue eyes that told her a story . . . a story about a man who had already proved so much to her . . . blue orbs that held so much . . . for her . . . eyes with a look she has never seen before from a man . . . "I love you." She whispered never breaking eye contact with him.


	45. Just Starting

**I should tell you, I have pictures posted of some of the sites on one of the boards I post this on. I will try and post the link to my homepage - but it is the on call room and the pictures of Sedona start on page 49 and go into the next page or so. **

**It is of Sedona. . . I also have pictures of characters on previous pages . . . Like Dr. Wright, Dr. Lawrence, Brad, Suds (Bar guy) . . .**

Derek stood speechless . . . he was worried how she would react when he said it to her later today. . . but, here he was. . . looking at the most beautiful thing he has ever seen . . . and he was ecstatic on the inside. . . He gazed into her eyes getting lost in the sea of green . . . they were sparkling . . . he noticed a completely new look in her . . . one that told him she loved him . . . He cupped his hands around her face, keep the intense stare, and leaned down to lightly kiss her lips. . . "We have another adventure to get to . . . Let's go . . ." He said, pulling back slightly, smiling at her, and grabbing for her hand.

Meredith couldn't believe she told him she loved him . . . it was a shock to herself. She hadn't planned on saying it, but in that moment, she knew. . .She actually knew it a few nights ago without a doubt, but wanted the right time to tell him. She hadn't actually ever loved anyone . . . not like Derek. She had always heard she would just know, but she didn't really think she would really ever find it . . . love . . . but she was sure this is what it felt like. She wasn't sure why he didn't say anything back, but it was almost like he didn't have to . . . the look . . . in his eyes . . . told her he loved her also. She wondered why he didn't say it, but right now, she just wanted to enjoy their afternoon together.

About an hour after Meredith made her declaration, they had made it back down to the motorcycle. Meredith reached up and kissed him quickly before they got back on the bike to travel another 20 or so minutes . . . during this ride, she decided she was going to have some fun. . .

During the ride to the hiking trail, she just held on to his waist very tight. . . they got down the road about 5 minutes and she started snaking her hand a sneakily as she could to the bottom of his shirt. . . smiling underneath her helmet when she felt the bottom hem. She kept her other hand around his waist tightly. . .

She ran her hand up his shirt until she felt bare skin which caused Derek to intake a sharp breath that radiated to his stomach that she felt against her hand. She smiled even wider . . . she knew he couldn't talk to her or do anything about this . . . so, she continued her pursuit up his chest to rub his chest hairs slowly and sensually. . . She decided both hands needed to hang on . . . to his bare skin. . . Her other hand found its way underneath his shirt to meet the same pursuit against his chest.

Derek was trying to keep his composure . . . but, he didn't know how much more he could take. He wanted to wait. . . he had this planned and detouring now would be bad, very bad. . . he knew it would be longer than a few minutes. He had to do it . . . he could control himself . . . or he would die trying.

Meredith continued her taunting for the rest of the ride to the next destination. . .

"Oh My God . . . seriously? Derek. . . SERIOUSLY? What if I am afraid of heights?" Meredith asked taking off her helmet, seeing exactly what the next adventure was . . . a hot air balloon ride.

"Seriously . . . and you . . . not very nice . . . you should be glad we even made it here without me wrecking . . . and I hope you aren't scared of heights because you will miss out. . . big time." He said smirking at her . . . she wasn't being very nice on the motorcycle, but that was ok . . . he knew his time would come. . .

They made their way to the hot air balloon and the person who was taking them up was already waiting. . . "Everything is ready sir, just like you asked."

"Great!" Derek said, catching a glimpse of Meredith and the completely giddy look on her face. He was so excited to see this . . . her being completely happy . . . he was completely happy himself. . .

They got onboard . . . and headed up, up and away. . . On the way up, they had sandwiches and chips . . . something light because he had a plan for dinner. . .

Once they reached their altitude, Derek popped open the bottle of wine he had special ordered for this occasion. . . "For you" He said smiling at her.

She took it and took a sip, "This is absolutely amazing."

"The wine or the scenery?" He said taking a sip of his own wine.

"All of it . . . what kind of wine is this?" She asked.

"Passion Fruit Wine." He said smiling at her. . .

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. . ." In this moment he just stared into her eyes . . . he loved her, he knew this the night they went to the grocery store. . . one of the reasons for Sweet Cup.

She broke the stare and turned around to take in the amazing view of the rocks and of the land below. "This is breathtaking." She said barely saying it loud enough for anyone else to hear.

He took a step to close the gap between them, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and nuzzled into her neck . . . taking her in. . . Her scent . . . he could smell the lavender . . . he didn't know if it was from her lotion or conditioner, but it didn't matter . . . she was the sweetest smell he had every smelled.

She rested her head against him . . . taking him in. She wished life could always be this perfect . . .

He took a deep breath in. . . He knew this was where he wanted to tell her . . . he had planned on it . . . and was shocked when she said it. . . "I love you, Meredith Grey." He said into her ear. "This was the plan for today . . . bring you here to tell you that. When you said it. . . I was just . . . I love you and I am . . ." He stopped taking a deep breath, feeling the tears from her face hit his arm causing tears to well up in his own eyes, threatening to fall.

They didn't say anything, they didn't need to . . . they stayed in this tight embrace the rest of the ride that was a total of 2 hours . . .

Derek was told the best place to go to dinner was the Oaxaca Restaurant and Rooftop Cantina. He called to make sure he was able to get one of the best seats on the rooftop to see the sun set with Meredith.

They made the 30 minute drive back into Sedona. They had reservations at 6 so they could see the sunset.

"Hola, Senorita Gomez. . . Pienso que hablé con usted por teléfono. (I think I talked to you on the phone). Las reservaciones para Shepherd a las 6." Derek said as they entered the restaurant.

"Permítame ir y ver si todo está listo para usted." (Let me go and see if everything is ready for you). She replied back giving him a wink.

Meredith looked at him again in amazement. "You know Spanish . . . what all where you saying?"

"Just casual greetings. . . I know a little . . . enough for me to get by. We traveled quite a bit as kids . . . my parents wanted us to be well traveled. I know a few other languages as well . . . but just the basics. I am not really fluent in any of them." He said shrugging it off . . . it wasn't that important to him. . . He was a simple guy. . .

"Derek . . . is there anything you don't do?" She said smiling at him with eyes of astonishment. He continued to amaze her every second of the day.

He just smiled, "Meredith . . . no one is perfect . . . always remember that. But, for the record, I know how to do everything." He said laughing. . .

"Cocky . . . what a wonderful virtue."

"You seem to love it." He said playfully smiling at her.

"Todo está listo, Señor Shepherd. Sígame por favor." (Everything is ready, sir. Please follow me.) Senorita Gomez said.

"Muchas gracias." He replied putting his hand around the small of Meredith's back to guide her through the restaurant.

They followed her back to the rooftop . . . sitting at the ledge with the best view of the restaurant. He noticed the band finishing their set up. . . He asked if they had a band when he called and he was told not on Sunday nights . . . but, he made sure they would be there this Sunday night.

They sit down pulling their chairs as close as they could go without sitting them on top of each other. They snuggled together looking at one menu together. . .

"I think I will have. . . I don't know . . . there are too many things to choose from." Meredith said smiling, loving every second of today. She had never had this before . . . a day with someone she couldn't seem to get enough of.

"I was told the Blue Mesa Trout was the best . . . as well as the Canyon Carne Asada." He said smiling at her as he kissed her cheek keeping his arm around her shoulder.

"Umm . . . the Carne Asada sounds amazing. That is what I will have."

"I am going with the Trout. . . I think I have to try it anywhere I go."

"I didn't peg you for a trout kind of man. . ."

He laughed, "I love fish and I like to fish . . . I just don't have time so I haven't been in a while. In college, Mark and I would go during long breaks. . ."

"And I learn more and more about the infamous Derek Shepherd."

The waiter walked up to take their drink order. He ordered a corona for himself and Meredith wanted a margarita on the rocks. She said the only way to drink them is on the rocks . . . frozen was for wussies. . . This was all they were drinking being that Derek was driving back.

"So, any other hobbies for Meredith Grey?" He asked smiling and leaning into her.

"Well. . . I have been known to try the knitting thing when all of the stars in Hollywood were doing it . . . but that didn't go so well. I do try to do it some because it is good for surgical dexterity they say." She said laughing thinking about how her hat she tried was more like ear muffs the way it ended up coming out.

He laughed picturing her with the needles getting frustrated.

"Photography . . . it is something I do to get away from life sometimes . . . I think I am pretty ok at it . . . I have a dark room set up in the condo . . . it is a very small room that is like an office. . . I really love it. I haven't had much time lately. I have some great action shots of Alex . . . on the track. I like to capture people in their natural state. . . not necessarily posing."

"Wow. . . I want to see some of your work. If I would have known, I would have suggested you bring your camera . . . But, you know, I think we have to come back here . . . there are some amazing art museums here . . . maybe a weekend getaway . . . soonish." He suggested, hoping he didn't rush this . . . a weekend getaway was different than a day . . .

"I couldn't think of a better getaway and a better person to do it with." She said smiling at him . . .

They ordered their dinner and when it arrived, they knew it would be delicious. They ate while remaining as close as they could to each other . . .

"Hey . . . you have your own food. . ." He said when she reached over to grab a piece of the trout.

"You don't care. . ." She said giggling.

"Then, I get some of yours." He said bringing his fork over to her plate.

"I don't think so, senor. . . Back your hand away from the plate." She said bringing her fork up to jab him if he moves any closer to her plate . . . giggling the entire time.

"Not fair . . . you don't play fair. . . I still owe you from earlier?" He said not forgetting the motorcycle ride. He put his fork in his other hand and dropped his hand to her thigh . . . dangerously high up. . . He felt her immediately tense up . . .

He leaned over to her ear. . . "You know, I like my women to go pantiless. . ." Nibbling at her ear . . .

She took a deep breath trying to remain her composure . . . she deserved this, but it was evil, very evil. "You may be in luck. . ." Pulling off a smirk . . .

Derek felt his pants instantly become tight. . . "I can't wait to find out." He said running his hand up her thigh, lightly grazing her center before bringing his hand back up from underneath the table . . . causing her to gasp . . .

They watched the sunset and listened to the amazing music. . .

"Are you about ready to head back?" Derek asked smiling at her . . .

"Really? This day has to end. . ." She moaned.

"The day is ending, but the night is just starting. . ."


	46. Little Helpers

**This may have . . . content that may not be suitable for those people unable to vote . . . Enjoy!**

Derek pulled his BMW into his parking spot in the parking lot of his apartment. He looked around to make sure Mark's car wasn't anywhere to be found. . . He had texted him before leaving the Harley rental to let him know they were an hour and a half out. He couldn't believe he had enlisted his help, but Derek asked when Izzie was around . . . and she was more than happy to help. In fact, he was a little worried about what he would actually come home to with Izzie helping out . . . and knowing Mark, there were a few surprises. . .

"Meredith, wake up. . ." He smiled over at her, rubbing her leg to wake her up . . . she had dozed off the last 30 minutes of the trip back, hand in hand . . . he just let her because he knew they could easily have a long night ahead of them despite class in the morning. He also knew this would work much better because he didn't plan on taking her back to her condo and this way . . . there would be no questions. They talked about class for a few minutes when they left and he quickly realized she was way more prepared than him for their class in the morning. They had a pretty important lab. For the first time ever, he was going to have to rely on someone else to know what to do. . . He was just so busy with practice at the track to the actual race he didn't have time . . . but, it was worth it to have this day with Meredith. He was just thankful one of them knew what was going on.

"Oh my god . . . I am sooo sorry. . . I didn't mean to fall asleep." She said opening her eyes up and wiping her mouth.

"It is ok. . . I was able to hum along to the rhythm of your snoring. . ." Derek chuckled knowing this would get a small rise out of her.

"DEREK. . . I DON'T SNORE . . . and if I did. . . THAT IS SO NOT NICE!" She said hitting him playfully on his arm.

"Well, I have been a bad boy Meredith . . . so . . . what do you want to do about that?" He said causing his eyes to suddenly turn that color that said he wanted her. . .

She felt her body immediately react to this . . . thinking what she would do to him. . . She immediately reached over to his cock that she felt was already hardening and pulled him to her with her other hand to kiss him. . . hard. . . "You will have to see. . ." She said into his mouth pulling back a little before he grabbed her head to pull her back to him . . . crashing his lips. . . Both sets of hands starting to explore. . .

"Inside, we have to get inside. . ." He moaned. This was not what he wanted because he was hoping what was waiting for them . . . was perfect. . .

They both pulled back and stared at each other. . . "I guess I am not going home yet. . ." She said trying to regain her breath.

"I can take you home if you want me to." Knowing she wouldn't opt for this.

"Never. . ." She said opening the car door to get out as he did the same thing.

He walked over to her fumbling with his keys to get into the apartment complex. . . He had no idea how he wanted to lead her into his apartment and he was nervous . . . he didn't know why, they had done this together, it wasn't their first time together, but he wanted it to be perfect. . . the perfect ending to their perfect day.

They got into the inside of the complex and got to his door . . . he could smell it . . . the candles. He smiled and looked over at Meredith, "Are you ready, my love?"

She reached up to kiss him . . . "I am . . ." She whispered over his lips. She could smell . . . definitely lavender . . .

He opened the door and gasped when he saw how beautiful . . . there were rose pedals leading to his bedroom . . . there were some candles that lit up the entry way, kitchen , and living room, but he could tell. . . there was a big glow coming from his room. . .

"Derek. . ." She breathily said, "What is this?"

He looked at how beautiful she was in this soft light . . . her hair, her skin, her eyes . . . perfect under the candle light. In this moment, he didn't think he could love her anymore. "For you . . . and they did a wonderful job." He said amazed at what Mark and Izzie had done.

"You had helpers?" She looked at him shocked.

"I did. The tall blonde one is to thank for this I am sure. . ." He said smiling thinking about Mark's expression when Derek talked to them about helping out. Izzie got all excited and started talking about all of the great things and Mark just kept looking at her . . . almost in amazement. Derek thought he would never see the day. . .

"This definitely is amazing . . . and you . . . you are amazing." She said moving her hands to behind his neck . . . both of them leaning in slowly . . . anticipating the touch of their lips together.

Their lips meet softly . . . tenderly . . . this kiss . . . it was full of love . . . the love they declared for each other today . . .

He picked her up in both arms, hers staying wrapped around him with their lips never parting. . . and took them to his bedroom and on in the bathroom. He had only one main request . . . the bathroom . . . he wanted the Jacuzzi tub filled and ready . . . he wanted rose petals floating on top with some bubbles with candles everywhere . . . Before leaving, he knew it would be a long day and they would be outside for most of it . . .

He stopped abruptly when he stepped into the bathroom . . . it was breathtaking. He knew he owed Izzie big time for this. She went and got fresh flowers for the bathroom counter with lavender . . . There was a small table set up beside the tub with 2 glasses, iced down champagne, and a variety of exotic fruits . . . with a small bowl of jello . . . and a note.

Meredith couldn't believe this . . . the second they got to the bathroom; Derek had looked up causing her to look up in disbelief. "Derek . . . this is perfect."

"Yes, it is." He said setting her down to go and read the note.

_Hello Derek and Meredith, _

_I hope everything is just the way you wanted, Derek. I hope you guys had a fun day and end it with the perfect evening. We thought we would add a few special touches . . . Oh – and sorry about the jello – but Mark insisted . . . He said jello is fun . . . _

_IT IS FUN and we took some with us. Check out your bedside table. . . I had to sneak it . . . _

_  
Love, _

_Izz and Mark_

Derek laughed noticing the last sentence was in Mark's handwriting . . . "Are you ready for your bath?" Derek looked over at Meredith who was still standing at the door. . .

"It depends." She said seductively walking over to him, unzipping her jeans and opening the fly enough to reveal bare skin. . .

Derek took a sharp breath in . . . he could see that she wasn't wearing any panties . . . "On what?" He said, swallowing hard.

"If you are joining me." She said seductively taking her hands and pulling his shirt over his head.

The second his shirt was off, he grabbed her face with both hands and kissed her hard, moving his hands down her body into her jeans to push them off in one fluid motion. "Oh god, Mer . . . no panties . . ." He said when he got down there and realized she really didn't have panties on. . . He moved down to her neck and chest with his mouth. . .

"Restaurant. . . I took them off before we left . . . in the bathroom." She said moaning in between each part.

The second they shed the rest of their clothes, Derek picked Meredith up to put her into the tub . . . when he got in behind her.

He got a piece of the fruit and reached in front of him to Meredith's lips to feed it to her while he pursued her neck with another piece of fruit, letting the juices run down as he was licking the juices. . . sucking and nipping at her neck. . .

He ran his hands over her breasts, feeling her nipples already erect, both of them letting out moans of pleasure. She could feel his hard cock against her lower back. "I need you. . ." She said tracing her hand up his thigh, close to his throbbing cock . . .

Derek's hand went from her breasts down to her opening . . . that was hot and ready. He put a finger in, "Fuck, Mer. . . You are more than ready. . ." He grunted.

"I told you. . . I need you." She said when she felt him wrap one arm around her waist, slightly lifting her up while his other hand was guiding his cock into her tight opening. . . She gasps loudly when she realized exactly what he was doing . . . Once he guided his cock into her, filling her completely. . . he put both hands on her waist . . . guiding her up and down. . .

He moaned when he felt her hand go down to her clit, rubbing it in circles, her fingers were brushing his cock slightly . . . "Mer. . ." He said sucking on her collarbone. . .

"Close. . . I am so fucking close Derek. . . Fill me . . . completely." She moaned.

With that, Derek gripped her waist harder and thrust into her as far as he could, quickly. . . water to splash out of the tub and the fruit tray spilling all over the floor. . . neither realized nor cared in this moment. . .

"Oh, Mer. . . Cum for me baby. . ." He said feeling his own orgasm harder and harder to hold back. . .

"Together. . ." She said feeling herself beginning to pulsate, "FUCK DEREK . . ."

"Your pussy. . . Oh god!!!!!" He said feeling her walls tightening on his cock causing him to immediately begin spilling himself into her, both of them yelling in ecstasy. . .

Coming down of off their high . . . Meredith stayed in his lap . . . and lay her head back on his shoulder . . . "I love you." She said smiling, both of them happy to be here. . .

"I love you. . ." He said looking over the edge of the tub at quite the mess. . . He laughed while running his hand over his wet hair, "We made quite the mess. . ."

Meredith looked over and saw the mess . . . the water, the fruit, the champagne they hadn't even opened, the ice from the bucket . . . all of it . . . on the floor, "Yes . . . we did, but I loved every second of it. . ."

"Me too. . ." He said kissing her tenderly on her shoulders, wrapping his hands around her. . .

They stayed in the bathtub for a few more minutes . . . kissing and saying sweet nothings to each other . . . enjoying this time together. They both wanted to stay this way. . .happy and in love . . . they wondered if things could get any better . . .


	47. Sleeping in Class

Derek woke up to the sound of the alarm going off on his phone. . . He felt like he just went to sleep. . . well, he had just fallen asleep. . . he couldn't remember ever staying up all night making love. . . He smiled thinking about her . . . with Meredith . . . he couldn't get enough of her. 

He reached over the perfect, naked body lying next to him to grab his phone to turn off the alarm. As he moved his wrist, to get the phone, he winced. . . It was a little bruised . . . then, he remembered the hand cuffs . . . the surprise from Mark. . . They both had a turn in the handcuffs . . . he felt himself stiffen thinking about using them again sometime soon. . .

"Derek, make it stop." Meredith said burying her head in he pillows.

"Good morning to you also. . ." He said pulling the covers back enough to plant a kiss on her cheek.

"Not a good morning . . . did we actually sleep. . . I don't think we did, I literally think we just went to sleep. . ." She moaned . . . she knew this morning would be hard to get up. . . they couldn't get enough of each other. . . then, she felt it. . . her wrists. . . the hand cuffs. . . she will have to thank Mark for that later no matter how bruised she may be.

"We did just go to sleep . . . and when we are done today, we will sleep. . ." Derek said. Lying back down, with his hand tightly wrapped around Meredith.

"Now . . . sleep now . . ." She moaned.

"We can't. . . Come on, if we shower now . . . together . . . we may have time to stop by starbucks on campus." He suggested.

"Showering together is supposed to help us be faster?" She said throwing the cover's off of them to get up to shower.

Derek followed her in the bathroom . . . it was a mess and he would have to clean it up later. . . They showered together, fighting the urge, but both of them were so tired . . . they literally had gone to sleep 2 hours before. . . It was an amazing day and the evening they had . . . and the sex . . . they started out with it being soft and sweet in the tub, making love to each other, but turned wild with the hand cuffs. . .

"Derek . . . clothes. . . I don't have clothes, or my toothbrush. . . Crap. . ." She said not sure what she was going to do . . . they were in a hurry.

Derek smiled at her; he was glad he had Izzie go to Meredith's apartment and pack some things for her . . . including clothes for today and her toothbrush and other toiletries. "Honey . . . you have a bag actually . . . another surprise." He said walking over to his dresser where her bag was sitting beside it.

"You thought about everything didn't you." She said smiling at him. . .she couldn't believe how great he was. . .

"Yes, now get your ass in gear; we have to get to school . . . if we make it without falling asleep on the way." He really didn't know how he would make it in class today.

They got to school in time for Starbucks. . . Walking into class with a few minutes to spare. Mark was already there. . . "You guys look like the walk of death. Guess you found my present for you guys." He smirked.

"We did." Derek said looking at Meredith, both of them smirking thinking about that. 

"Well, Izzie didn't know . . . she kept saying how perfect everything had to be. . . she knew I had them for you guys. . . but, she wouldn't let me leave them because it was a romantic night or some shit like that, so I had to sneak although she loves using hand cuffs so I found out a few nights ago." Mark said thinking about how perfect Izzie was for him . . . he never thought in a million years he could be with one woman but, he found himself wanting more of her . . . and only her. . .

When neither of them answered, but instead sipped their coffee . . . looking at each other with very tired eyes, Mark said, "You guys stayed up fucking all night didn't you?"

"Just about." Derek said when he noticed Dr. Wright coming in. They got their stuff out ready to begin. He had no idea how he was going to stay awake. He wasn't prepared and now, he was so tired, his eyes were literally shutting.

"Good morning, everyone." Dr. Wright said looking around the room, noticing two of his best students were struggling to keep their eyes open, "I hope everyone is awake this morning." He said causing Derek and Meredith both to open their eyes, becoming alert.

"You guys . . . need to try to stay awake." Mark whispered over to them.

Both of them looked at each other, they had no idea how they were going to do this.

Halfway through the class, Meredith kind of woke up . . . she knew it was the adrenaline. She was glad she spent her time Friday and Saturday studying . . . she knew Derek had not, so she was really helping him along the way.

"Derek, can you. . ." She looked over at him and he had his face in his hands, asleep. . She could barely see his eyes, but enough to know. . .

She pulled his hands out from underneath him . . . his head slumped down before he jerked it up. . . "What the hell?" He asked looking to Meredith.

"You are asleep . . . Wake up." She said whispering to him. Mark looked over and laughed. He knew they would have a long night, he just didn't realize they would have stayed up until 4 in the morning. . .

"Ok. . . I am sorry, I am just so damn tired and I have to go to Dr. Lawrence's class. . . I think he is giving a quiz. . . I should go and talk to him about sleeping. We could go and nap before your next class and mine. . ." He suggested trying to figure out exactly where Meredith was at with the task at hand.

"Mr. Shepherd and Ms. Grey. . . I need to speak with you both after class please." Dr. Wright said watching them struggle through this lab. . .

"Yes. . . Dr. Wright." Meredith said looking down. This was bad . . . very bad. She knew her mother would find out. This was exactly why she knew this would be a bad idea.

"I am sorry. . . Dr. Wright. This isn't usual." Derek said trying his best to open his eyes fully, but he knew they were red . . . and tired. . .

"We will talk after class." Dr. Wright said, turning around and checking on some other students.

"Shit . . . this is . . . bad . . . Derek, my mom . . . she will find out." She said a little freaked out now.

Derek sighed, this wasn't him either, but Meredith . . . she was amazing. But, he knew they would not be able to do this again . . . on a school night, "Meredith, we just need to . . . balance things. It will be ok. . . I promise. We will handle it together . . . anything . . . Let's just try to finish this right now."

"Ok . . . and Derek. . . I still love you, even though I am pissed at you keeping me up all night." She said smiling.

"Yeah. . . I didn't see you stopping anything. . ." He said knowing he had to fight this urge to just close his eyes and sleep, right there.

"We just have to. . .We can't do that on a school night with early morning classes." She said a little flustered thinking about the night. She knew he was right though – she wouldn't have stopped it.

They got through the rest of class. Mark kept helping them a little along the way as well. He felt bad for them this morning. He was thankful things seemed to be a little easier for him and Izzie since she lived by herself right now. He was also not the same as Derek . . . he was just trying to get used to the idea of having one woman. . . She was a challenge for him though and he loved that about her.

They walked up to the front of the classroom while the students filed out. "Let's go to my office." Dr. Wright suggested.

"Ok." Derek said watching Meredith get nervous. He took her hand and held it tight. He didn't care if Dr. Wright or anyone for that matter knew they were together. She was nervous, as much as he was although he was holding it together a little easier than her. He had things to prove, but only to himself . . . she had things to prove to others. Her mother pushed her to be the best and that was hard for her.

They followed him to his office, "Please have a seat." He motioned for them to sit down while he sat down behind his desk.

Derek put his hand on the small of her back, guiding her to one of the chairs and sat in the one right beside her, hanging on to her hand tightly.

"I am not sure really how to start this . . . but, I didn't bring you here to scold you or yell at you. . . I brought you here as a professor seeing some things in two of the brightest students. You two are two of the top I have and both of you will make brilliant doctors."

Meredith and Derek look at each other a little shocked. "Thank you, sir. . . Why exactly did you bring us here then? I mean . . . this morning will never happen again." Derek said.

"I really want to be upset with the both of you for this morning, but you two. . . I don't know exactly what is going on with you, but whatever it is . . . is strong, I can tell, from the second you walked into class late and you two shared a look . . . one that didn't go unnoticed . . . but it is going to be hard for the two of you. You need to know that, if you choose to keep going like this" He said remembering the look on her face when she walked into his classroom . . . realizing Derek was her lab partner.

Derek knew it was complicated . . . and that this was hard. . ."Sir, I know that as well . . . but there is something, Meredith and I …" He stopped and looked into her eyes. 

"We will overcome all obstacles, together. No matter how hard it gets." She said.

"You guys have a lot to learn and it will be hard. This morning, there will be more mornings like this and you will have to work very hard to make sure there aren't." He said out of concern for them.

"Thanks a lot Dr. Wright. . . We will work very hard . . . together." Derek said smiling over at Meredith who looked much more relaxed.

Dr. Wright smiled, "Mr. Shepherd, I have no doubt you will, both of you. You are two of the top students in your respective classes. I guess part of me wants to warn you as well as tell you to be the best."

They both looked at him puzzled. . . "What do you mean?" Meredith asked.

"My wife . . . we met in medical school." He said smiling while looking at the picture on his desk of her, "I just want you to be prepared for the journey ahead. It will be challenging, never lose sight of what you want out of life though, no matter how good or bad things are going." He said getting up to go to the door to let them out.

"We both promise to do our best, always. We will not let this happen again. We just had a big weekend." Derek said with Meredith shaking her head in agreement.

"To be young again. But, sleep at night. . . you both look like hell, you should go and get some sleep." Dr. Wright smiled at them.

They both smiled at each other, Derek put his arm around Meredith, "I think we will. I am supposed to be in Dr. Lawrence's class, but I am going to talk to him and Meredith. . .she doesn't have class for a few hours."

"Good . . . and guys . . . being in love is pretty great." He said looking at them. Dr. Wright smiled watching these two. It brought back lots of memories.

They headed back to Mer's condo since it was a little closer. They knew Alex and Cristina would be in class, "Was Dr. Lawrence ok?" She asked in the car.

"No, but he will get over it. He was his usual . . . he was an ass, but you get used to it. He is really good at what he does and he challenges me like no other professor." Derek knew Dr. Lawrence was a smart ass, but very good at what he does. He also really liked Derek and he knew it.

"Alex is starting to like him more and more . . . he said the same thing about challenging him." Meredith said.

"He is doing well . . . really well. . . Dr. Lawrence said the other day he would be a good doctor because he was honest and didn't sugar coat things and he was smart. . . really smart." Derek said knowing this was very true about Alex.

They drove the rest of the way in silence, just wanting to get home.

They pulled up and parked, trying to make it up the stairs. . .They got to Mer's room and both pulled back the covers. . . "Sleep, we just need to sleep." He said taking off his shirt.

"Thank goodness!" Meredith said falling into the bed, the same moment as Derek . . . both falling into slumber the second their head hit the pillow. They only had at most 2 hours, but that was better than nothing.


	48. The First of It

**Ok - so . . . these next updates . . . yeah - I just want to say - I fix any and everything. Ever character has flaws though - EVERY CHARACTER . . . so, remember that! I will be out of town until Friday, so I will update again on Friday when I get home! I hope you guys are still enjoying the story!**

It had been almost a week since Meredith and Derek declared their love for each other. They spent a lot of their free time together which wasn't a lot. They did study together and as hard as it was . . . they did get lots of studying done. There was occasional off-task behavior going on, but they knew they had to study . . . they were serious students. 

It had been a week since she promised Marissa the girl's time together. Bryant told Meredith Wednesday night what was going on and Meredith knew she needed to do this soon. . . She knew Derek would want to spend Friday afternoon/evening with her . . . but, she needed the time with Marissa. 

"Aunt Mer!!!!" Marissa came up to her with her friends. . . They thought they were very cool in the 6th grade. 

"Hello, Marissa . . . and girls." Meredith said addressing the girls . . . giggling to herself a little at how much they tried to look and act grown up.

"This is my aunt . . . she is in med school and she is going to be a doctor. . But not just any kind of doctor, she is going to be a surgeon, which is the best one to be. She is taking me to get our hair done . . . and then we are going to do a manicure and pedicure." Marissa told the girls a little too snobbish for Meredith's liking. . . it wasn't only what she said, but the way she said it. She definitely needed to talk to her about that.

"Let's get going kiddo." Meredith said, realizing the minute she said kiddo, she was in some trouble.

Marissa put her hands on her hips, "DO NOT CALL ME THAT! We are NOT kids."

"Definitely, not. . . Let's get going. Say goodbye to your friends." Meredith said smiling at the girls.

"Bye girls, we are off to the salon in my Aunt's really cool SUV." Marissa said, whipping her head around causing her long blonde hair to follow.

Meredith looked at the other 3 girls, smiled and said bye to them. She knew she needed to talk to Marissa about this, but couldn't bring herself to say anything to her right now. She was going through a hard time from what Bryant told Meredith on Wednesday night.

As soon as Meredith got in the car, Meredith's phone went off and she could tell it was Derek . . . She smiled when she heard the ring tone. . . You Shook Me All Night Long. . . She picked up the phone, "Hey!" She said with a smile.

"Hey Yourself." Derek said over the phone.

Meredith looked over at Marissa who was putting her seatbelt on while continuing her conversation, "How was your day?"

On the other end of the phone, Derek was sitting down on the couch with a bear in hand, "My day was fine until I came home and didn't find my girlfriend at my apartment like I thought she would be."

Meredith shook her head, "Derek I told you . . . I was spending the afternoon with Marissa."

Derek thought about this, taking a sip of his beer, "No, you didn't . . . I would have remembered if you told me about this because I was planning dinner . . . a nice dinner on a Friday evening because neither of us have to be up."

She did not want to do this with Marissa in the car, "Derek, I will talk to you later. Right now I have to go."

Derek did not want to talk about this later, he wanted to talk about it now, "Why won't you tell me now when you told me about this. I was planning a nice evening with you and now . . . you are telling me you have plans. Are you even fucking sure you are with Marissa?" He said almost yelling into the phone at her.

Meredith couldn't believe this. . . Derek actually thought she was lying to him. . .she knew she told him before she left his apartment this morning. This proved to her he didn't always listen to her. That was a typical man thing. . . she knew it, but it is now very frustrating, "Derek, look, I said I would talk to you later . . . But, right now, Marissa and I have an appointment to get to. . . we are getting our hair done, and toes and fingers polished." Meredith said in a calm voice while looking over at Marissa and smiling. This was the last thing Marissa needed.

He was not happy about this, "Fine, Bye." Before he hung up he heard Meredith say it. . . I love you. He just shut the phone with out saying a word.

Meredith tried very hard to hold back the tears that were at the rim of her eyelid. She took a deep breath and looked back over to Marissa, "Are you ready to do this?"

Marissa was smart and knew something was up, "We don't have to do this Aunt Mer, If you need to talk to Derek, I mean. . . I don't want you fighting because of me. . . you spending time with me."

Meredith turned and looked at her niece, "Look, I don't want you to worry about it. You have enough things to worry about. Today is about me and you. . . Do you know how long it has been since I got my hair done or did something with my nails?" Marissa smiled up at her, Meredith continued, "Now, are you ready for some real girl fun?"

Marissa smiled; her mother never took her anywhere. . . Marissa just nodded her head, "Aunt Mer. . . I am really excited about this afternoon. Thank you!"

Meredith tried to put on her best smile . . . she was struggling on the inside . . . She loved him . . . and she knew he loved her, but this was new. . . she has never seen this side of him and it worried her a little bit, but right now, was about Marissa and she needed to give her attention to her, "I am excited too."

For the next four hours, Meredith and Marissa were pampered. At first Meredith thought her brother would be upset when she took Marissa to get her hair cut, but she told the stylist to just trim the dead ends despite Marissa practically begging for more.

By the end of their time at the salon, Meredith's phone rang a few times, but she didn't answer it. She knew it was Derek . . .

Meredith was glad to see Marissa smiling again like her old self by the end of the afternoon. On the way home, Meredith wanted to talk to Marissa bout how she talked to her friends but, overall it was a good day and she did not want to spoil it. So, she just made a mental note to talk to her about it the next time they were together . . .

"So, what do you want for dinner before I take you home?" Meredith asked.

"Pizza!" She said excitingly.

Meredith should have known that her brother's kids lived for pizza. Bryant's kids definitely were Grey's in that aspect . . . but, it was the only thing Morgan picked up for her kids to eat.

"Pizza? Are you sure?"

"Marissa just nodded, "Yes, Pepperoni." She said licking her lips. Meredith was also thankful they all have the Grey metabolism as well.

They headed to the best pizza place in town, Johnny's Pizza. . . The Home of the Original Sweet the Kitchen Pizza. . .

While they ate, Meredith's phone rang again, this time she answered it because Marissa was playing video games. Meredith was sure it was due to the cute boy also in the video room, "Hello." She answered.

"Hey." He said very short and cold.

"What do you want Derek?" Meredith asked.

"Are you done yet? Are you coming over?"

Meredith raised her eyebrows, "Are you sure you want me to come over . . . you were an ass. . . I did tell you."

"Meredith . . . you know the answer to that . . . I want you to come over. No matter what." He said al little more warmly. He did love her so much. He didn't mean to lose it with her, but he just couldn't help it.

Meredith shook her head, "I don't know right now Derek. . . I don't know if you do."

"Mer." Derek sighed.

"No, Derek, I can't do this, I am having dinner with Marissa." She said.

"Fine . . . have dinner with her. When will you be done?" He said trying to keep his cool with her. He knew they were getting busier with school and their time together was going to be more and more limited.

"We just ordered. . . When we are done, I will drop her off and then I will come by." She said matter-of-factly.

"Ok . . . Bye . . . I love you."

"Yeah." Is all she could murmur out before snapping her phone shut tears stringing her eyes.

Right when their pizza was delivered to their table, Marissa was at the table ready to eat, they both got a few pieces and started eating.

"Aunt Mer, I want to thank you for today, I have had so much fun." She said pulling the pizza out of her mouth with a string of cheese hanging out of her mouth causing both of them to giggle.

"I think it was the boy that you saw. . . But, Anytime, Kiddo." As soon as she said it she knew, "Sorry, I know you hate that and you are definitely not a kiddo."

Marissa looked down . . . she really didn't hate it, she just hated it when others were around, "You know Aunt Mer, I really don't hate it too much . . . In fact, I kind of like it when you call me kiddo, just not around my friends or brothers, or even dad. . ."

Meredith remembered being her age and she got it, "Ok, you have a deal, I keep calling you kiddo, but only when it's just the two of us."

Marissa smiled. They talked about a few other things while they finished their pizza. They both could eat a lot of pizza. . .

Meredith was glad that Bryant wasn't going to be home just yet. He was working and they had a sitter at the house for Banks and Braden.

Meredith dropped Marissa off without going in. She knew the boys would hold her up and she needed to get to Derek's . . . she knew she had some things she had to say.

Meredith stood outside Derek's door wanting to knock . . . holding the tears back. She wiped the one tear that escaped with the back of her hand, took a deep breathe, and knocked on Derek's door even though Derek had given her a key earlier in the week.

Derek got up to answer the door; setting his beer bottle down that he had been drinking . . . it was his third of the evening. He wanted her to be with him tonight. He knew the next few weeks would be tough on them. It was the first round of big testing and they would be studying a lot.

He wasn't sure who would be coming over this late at night. He opened the door, he saw her. He could tell she had been crying. But he did not think he had done anything wrong to make her cry. . . it was her. . . she was the one that gave up spending time with him on Friday night when they were both free. . . not the other way around, "What, you don't use your key anymore?"

He stood aside so she could walk in.

She walked in right past him not looking up. She didn't want him to see. . .how upset she really was. She took a deep breath, "Derek, what the hell is your problem?"

Derek was speechless . . . he had no idea what in the world he had done wrong, "Look, Meredith, I know you say you told me, but you didn't. . . I would have remembered."

She shook her head in disagreement, "Derek, I told you this morning when you were getting out that shit you call cereal. I told you and all you did was shake your head acting as though you were listening, but you weren't . . . this goes to show that. You only listen when you want. You also know. . . I have to do this. . . I have to be there for Marissa."

He looked at her . . . she had a look of . . . sadness. . .she was really upset. He went over to her, trying to take her in his arms. . . Meredith moved closer to the couch to inch away from him. . . Derek sighed and said in a whisper, "Meredith, I do listen to you . . . You know that."

She stood there continuing to shake her head, trying her hardest not to let the flood gates open in her eyes. He wasn't even hearing her . . . really listening to her. "Derek, how can I believe you and how can I know that? You know how important Marissa is to me. You know that she needed me and she is going to need me."

"I know you need to be there for her. But, you can't pick up the slack for her mother." He picked up his beer from the coffee table to take a drink. . . He was trying to stay calm, but he was quickly unraveling inside.

"What did you just say? How dare you . . . who the fuck do you think you are? She is my family." She said loudly.

Without thinking, Derek slammed the beer bottle against the coffee table as hard as he could, causing Meredith to shutter, "Damn it, Meredith. . . I thought I was important to you. . . I needed you. . . We don't get many fucking nights together with just the two of us . . . and you have to fuck it all up. You know we have big tests coming up and we will have to study and you fucked it away. You know I have a race tomorrow night and Sunday we will have to study and you. . ." He said, yelling scathingly at her, seeing the fear in her eyes.

Meredith jumped back; she had never him this angry. They have never fought . . . in fact, they have never even argued, not once. She stood there . . . speechless . . . the tears free falling down here face. This was not Derek . . . her McDreamy. . . She just turned around to walk to the door to leave . . . she couldn't do this . . . fight with him when he was clearly in the wrong.

Derek knew he just fucked up big time. He ran to her and tried to grab her. She jerked her arm away and looked up at him. Her eyes told him everything she was feeling without her saying anything. He didn't want to let her go, he couldn't. She was determined, so she turned around without any hesitation and walked out of the apartment.

"Meredith. . . Please, I am sorry. . . We need to. . ." He said yelling to her as she was walking away, walking faster and faster with every step. "talk." He said quietly, running his fingers through his hair. He was sorry for scaring her and yelling at her, but, the other stuff . . . he was sure she had not told him . . . and if she had . . . he would have still been a little upset about it. He couldn't help it, he loved Meredith and wanted to spend as much time as he could . . . quality time and he knew that would be sparse the next few weeks.

Meredith drove home with tears in her eyes . . . at one point she had to pull over because she was blinded by the tears. Her phone rang and rang and she didn't even have to look at it to see who it was . . . she knew it was him. She turned off the ringer to ignore the sound of the ring. . . By the time she got home . . . she had 5 missed calls and three messages from Derek.

She was glad no one was home . . . she went straight up to her room and changed into some pj's. . . finding a pair of Derek's pants. She climbed into bed and cried herself to sleep.

Meanwhile, Derek sat out on a lawn chair on the back patio with another beer in hand. His other hand behind his hand. . .

"Derek . . . are you here?" He heard a familiar voice say a few seconds after he heard the door open.

"Yeah." Is all he murmured out.

Mark turned on the lights and saw a guy sitting outside that he hardly even recognized, "You look like hell."

"Thanks." Derek looked up at him with red, puffy eyes, barely noticing Izzie. He couldn't believe he had yelled at her like he did. He saw the look in her eyes. She was scared of him and he wanted nothing more than to protect her—no matter what.

Mark looked at Izzie and leaned over to her ear, "Bedroom . . . I will be there in a few minutes, but can you wait for me there? I need to. . ."

"I know. I will be ready and waiting though." She knew by the look in Mark's eyes, he needed to talk to his friend without Izzie. But, she also wanted to remind him of what would be waiting for him. She walked back to his bedroom. . .

Mark went and got a beer out of the refrigerator and went outside to sit by Derek, "Mark. . . I lost her Mark. . . I lost her. I really fucked it up. My temper. . ." Derek said putting his beer down and burying his head in his hands.

Mark didn't say a word. He had seen this side of Derek . . . he did have a temper if things didn't go exactly his way, "I am sure. . .Things will be ok. You guys are like the perfect couple or some shit like this. So, you had your first fight."

"It was more than that Mark. I yelled at her and slammed my beer bottle down on the table so hard that it cracked. She was scared Mark and hell, I don't blame her. I . . . it was bad. I can't lose her. She is my. . . I love her." He said miserably.

"Look, Shep, you are just going to have to fight like hell to show her . . . how sorry you are. She loves you as much as you love her." Mark said knowing they loved each other. When they were in class together, they were almost sickening in love. But, he couldn't make fun of them, because he was feeling the same way with Izzie.

"I hope so. . . What should I do next? I called her a million times and left messages, but she won't call me back." He asked needing this to be ok. He wanted to do any and everything to make this better.

"First of all, you need to give her some space . . . some time. I can't believe your asking me because really I have no idea." Mark said laughing causing a smile to slightly form on Derek's lips, "But, you are going to have to do some major groveling . . . and I think flowers need to be involved. Derek . . . you are my brother . . . the temper though . . . you have to figure that out. I don't know exactly what happened here tonight, but I am sure things didn't go exactly like you wanted. Somehow . . . you have to deal with this because Meredith, she is the love of your life."

Derek ran his hand back through his hair, sighing loudly, "Yeah. . . Mark. . . I know. Thanks man. I don't want to keep you any longer from having sex . . . Just try to keep it down." He said really happy his friend has stayed committed to one woman for more than a week. Derek had a sense Izzie was the woman how would tame Mark Sloan.

"Like you do. . ." Mark said, "Things will be ok. You guys love each other. She isn't just going to walk away."

Derek looked up at him with sad eyes, "Yeah, I hope so. I really do." He said taking the last sip of his beer, "I am going to try and go to bed, thanks, Mark." Derek said almost pleading with him. 

"Anytime, man . . . that is what brother's are there for. You just need to. . ." Mark stopped knowing Derek knew exactly what he was going to say. Mark patted him on the back and walked back into the apartment to go to his awaiting lady.

Derek went to his bedroom; put on his pj's and grabbed one of her shirts she left over there to sleep with. He dialed her number one more time . . . this time, he wanted to leave a different message from the other 3. When he heard her voice, the tears pricked at his eyes. "Meredith, I love you. I was . . . out of line. You are . . . everything to me. Call me just to let me know when you get this. I need to know you are safe. I love you." He said not holding back the tears from falling.

He tried to go to sleep, but couldn't. . . the tears kept streaming down his face, thinking that she should be in the bed with him . . . because no matter what happened earlier, he shouldn't have let it go that far. He wanted her with him, this much he knew without a doubt. The temper . . . he had no idea how to control it.


	49. No Sleeping

The morning. . . Saturday morning . . . a morning she should be waking up warm and cuddly, but instead she feels cold and alone. She heard her phone beep indicating she had a text message, which actually woke her up out of the half sleep she had been in the entire night. She had turned her ringer off, but she must have forgotten to turn off the text message alert tone. 

Meredith turned over and grabbed her phone, noticing another missed call since she went to sleep and 3 voice mails. She couldn't even listen to the other 2 last night, she didn't want to hear his voice because she was scared . . . scared she would hear his seething tone that he had taken with her.

_From: McDreamy _

_10/15/07 _

_8:30am _

_Mer, I am so sorry. I did and said bad things and please believe me when I tell you I am sorry. Please call or at least text me back to let me know you are safe. I love you, my sweet cup. _

Meredith sat up in her bed and sighed. Right before she walked off, she did take one look back and looked deep within Derek's eyes . . . he was sorry for getting so upset. But, he couldn't do this to her, she had done nothing to deserve it. He just didn't get his way and he was acting out. She did love him though and needed to at least let him know she was ok.

She quickly typed out the text and pushed send. It was short and let him know she was ok. She sighed wondering whether she should listen . . . to the voice mails that were awaiting her. She knew she would have to face them . . . after thinking about it for a few minutes; she dialed her voice mail and started listening . . .

--------

Derek didn't sleep at all during the night and finally decided to get up out of bed at 7:00am to go running . . . trying to clear his head. He got back about an hour later to put on some coffee and take a shower. He was worried about her . . . if she had gotten home ok. If he did not hear from her by the time Mark and Izzie got up, he was going to get Izzie to call her to make sure. . . she was ok. He knew she really wasn't ok, but he hoped she was at least safe. He knew he was bad . . . he had to get a hold of himself. This wasn't a new problem, but one that hadn't shown through in a while.

When he finished the shower, he poured himself some coffee and decided to text her . . . in a last attempt. His heart was pounding as he stood at the counter, trying to hold his coffee steady to drink it, waiting to see if she would text him back.

1 minute passed . . . 2 minutes passed . . . 3 minutes passed. . . Then, he heard it . . . the sound that made his heart skip a few beats. She was ok. . . He quickly flipped open his phone and saw her message:

_From: Sweet Cup _

_10/15/07 _

_8:34am _

_I am home and safe._

He frowned a little because it was short, but he was relieved . . . that she was ok and she let him know that. He knew by the message this was bad, but at least she messaged him back, it was a step. Now, he needed a plan.

"I thought I smelled some coffee . . . my blonde temptress would like some." Mark smirked, while in his boxer briefs and a white t-shirt with his hair all disheveled.

"Yeah." Derek said thinking . . . thinking about what his next move was going to be.

Mark looked at Derek, knowing things weren't any better from last night. He wasn't sure if he should say something or not, "She will come around." He said walking over, standing beside Derek.

"She is. . . I finally heard from her. Just a message saying she was safe. But, it is something, right?" Derek looked up, pleading with Mark to agree with him.

"It is."

"I don't know what to do next. I have no idea how I can even race tonight. It is the last race of the season. I don't even care about it Mark. I just want. . . Meredith." He said trying to hold back his tears once again this morning. At the beginning of his run, the words . . . the harsh things he said to her ran through his mind and he hated himself in that moment. She had done nothing to deserve it.

"It is the last race of the season . . . you need at least third to win the all around . . . and if not third, it will depend on what Alex does. You know that."

"I don't even fucking care. . . If Mer isn't there, behind me . . . I don't even fucking care." He spat out.

Mark knew he was serious. "So, what are you going to do?"

"I have no idea." Derek said leaning down over the counter with his head between his arms.

They sat for a few seconds in silence, "Flowers . . . send her flowers . . . every hour on the hour until she calls or talks to you."

Derek looked up. . . "I guess it couldn't hurt. I think it will take more than flowers." 

"I am sure some major groveling will be involved at some point, but the flowers. . . at least that will get her talking to you I bet. Then, you can grovel . . . be all . . . what is it they call you? McDreamy." Mark said grinning, sitting down on one of the bar stools.

"It is worth a shot." With that. . . Derek grabbed the phone book and found a florist to call. . . "Wait. . . I should just go down there. . . There is a florist right down the road."

"That crazy ass flower place with all of the bright, big flowers on the outside of it." Mark said.

"Big, bright flowers . . . are you guys talking about Oopsie Daisy Floral?" Izzie asked smiling in one of Mark's robes. Mark knew she was probably nude underneath which caused him to rise a little.

"That is the one." Derek replied, grabbing his keys and wallet, quickly heading out of the door.

"Come here, my beautiful, blonde temptress." He said giving her that look . . . that said he was ready for more. The second she got within arms length, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in between his legs so that she could feel just what she does to him.

"Coffee . . . I didn't get my coffee." She said seductively to him.

"You want coffee when you can have me?" Mark said into her mouth as their lips were almost touching.

"I like the way you think." Izzie said, kissing him hard. . .

"Izz. . ." Mark moaned, pushing the robe off of her . . . seeing she was in fact, naked as he suspected. He picked her up and put her on the bar in the kitchen, shedding his boxer briefs and t-shirt. He got on the bar with her and fucked her right there . . . something he always wanted to do but, was never able to.

Once they were down from their orgasmic high, they decided to take a shower for another round this morning. Last night. . .was about love making, but this morning was about fucking. Mark never realized there was a difference; before Izzie, it was only about fucking, but now . . . love making was just as wonderful; if not even better . . . the connection he felt with her, was unlike any other.

-------

Meredith sat with tears running down her eyes. She just listened to all three of his messages. The first two were desperate, Derek pleading with her to turn back around . . . come back so they could talk . . . but, the last one . . . his voice. She knew he was sorry, but, she just couldn't forgive him like that. He was going to have to do a lot more than that. But, she needed him to know . . . she loved him. She wasn't happy with him at all, but she was in this and she knew it.

She opened her phone back up and started the message. . .

_To: McDreamy _

_10/15/07 _

_8:52 am _

_I love you._


	50. The Flowers

**Ok - so . . . this update has tons of pictures that if you want to see them in the update , you can go to the on call room (the link posted on my main page and go to page 59. I have pictures of each flower arrangement . . . I will post the second half of this update tomorrow . . . if you want . . .**

Thanks to all those reading and commenting!

Since Meredith sent the second text message to Derek almost an hour before, she had been busy trying to keep her mind off of things. The first thing she did was check her email and looked up some information for one of her classes. She needed to try and study this morning, but she figured that was going to be close to impossible. . . She wanted to call him, but she just wasn't ready yet. 

Alex wasn't home. . . he was at Bryant's where he had pretty much moved in to help out with the kids and Cristina. . . who knew where she was at these days. She came home to sleep some, but she was gone a lot. Meredith had been so busy recently, she didn't ask her too many questions. They had really drifted apart since her and Alex had their "thing". Meredith and Izzie had started to do a lot of things together. . .

Straight up 10:00am, her doorbell rang and she immediately stiffened thinking it was Derek. . . She contemplated whether to answer the door, but she needed to at least look through the peep hole. She sat her laptop down to get up to answer the door. She was amazed when she looked and saw a man holding some flowers. She didn't want to get excited just yet . . . and she was still really upset, but this was her Derek. . .

She opened the door to see a planted pot of some purple flower. . . She smiled at the delivery guy and said thank you.

Purple Hyacinth

Meredith took the plant to the bar in the kitchen and sat them down to open and read the card. . .

_ To My Sweet Cup, _

_ Purple Hyacinth means: I am sorry, Please forgive me _

_ Meredith. . . I am sorry. _

_ All my love, _

_ Derek _

She had tears in her eyes. He went and got her flowers, but not any flower, a flower that meant I am sorry, please forgive me. She had never gotten flowers from anyone. . . EVER. She wanted to call him, but she couldn't. She knew she loved him and knew they would be ok, but she needed him to understand he had really screwed up and he wouldn't be let off that easy.

She brought the potted plant in the living room and sat it on the coffee table so that she could see them as she studied through the morning. She smiled knowing that now, she could maybe get some studying done. . . he was already thinking about her this morning and how to make things better. . . that made her heart swell.

Meredith was deep in the chapter she was reading in her textbook when she heard the doorbell ring again, not realizing it had been an hour since the last delivery. She was a little startled because she wasn't expecting anyone . . . and again, she was hoping it wasn't Derek, she just wasn't ready.

She cautiously got off of the couch and looked again through the peep hole. She was amazed when she saw a similar sight . . . this time with something a little different in the hands of the delivery man. She opened the door and saw him holding the beautiful red tulips.

"Hello again." She told the delivery man.

"Hey there. It looks like someone is popular today." He smiled at her.

"No, someone trying to make up for being bad." Meredith said laughing, taking the flowers from the man.

"Yes ma'am. . . Enjoy your flowers." The delivery man said, knowing how desperate the man seemed to be this morning when he came in to get these flowers.

Meredith took the beautiful red tulips from his hands and smiled. She couldn't wait to read the card attached to these beautiful flowers.

_To my Sweet Strawberry, _

_ Red Tulips mean Believe Me, Declaration of Love _

_ I am sorry . . . please believe me . . .I love you! _

_ All my love, _

_ Derek _

Meredith smiled thinking about their grocery store experience . . . and the strawberries. He figured this was exactly what he was trying to get her to do . . . and it was working because she was thinking about those times . . . with strawberries and the grocery store. . . and the wonderful times they had already shared in their short time together.

She wasn't sure where to put the flowers, so she decided on the kitchen table.

She wanted to get back to studying, but was feeling herself needing a pick-me-up. Meredith decided to make some coffee and try and find something to eat, settling on a can of soup.

As she ate her soup, she thought about the race tonight . . . the last race of the season. She knew she had to go to the race to support Alex. Derek . . . she had no idea what she was going to do. She knew she wouldn't be ready to talk to him . . . or even see him because she knew if she did . . . her heart would melt. He had a way about him . . . that would make her forget how mad she was at him. . .

After eating, she decided to call Cristina to see if she was going to go to the race with her tonight. She knew something strange was going on with her, but she was so busy . . . she hasn't been able to talk to her about it. Last night, she didn't even come home. She usually did at least come home to sleep. She got her voice mail and Meredith left a message telling her she would like for her to come to the race with her and Izzie. . .

Before last night, Izzie and Meredith had already decided they would go to the race together. Izzie was going to come over around 3ish so they could get ready together. She had to go . . . and it would help if Izzie was with her. She decided to call Izzie as well since she was taking a break from studying. . . Meredith wanted to make sure Izzie was still going with her.

"Hello?" Meredith heard Izzie say a little cautiously.

"Hey Izz. . . how are you?" Meredith asked trying to figure out of if she knew anything about what was going on. She knew her and Mark had plans to be together last night and she had no idea if they had seen Derek.

"I am good, what about you?" Izzie said trying to not sound different than normal, but she was a little worried about what was going on. Izzie didn't really know much other than Derek was really upset when they got to the apartment last night and Mark wouldn't say much about it to Izzie. She asked questions, but Mark didn't say a whole lot. Mark and Derek were brothers and Izzie understood this.

Meredith sighed. "I am fine . . . just trying to get in some studying today before the race."

"So, we are still on for 3 today . . . to get ready for the race?" Izzie asked. She and Mark talked this morning about the slight possibility of Meredith not going to the race. Mark just mentioned if she ended up not going, Izzie could go with him. . .she would just have to go early with him. He and Derek were going to check some things out on the car that they noticed the day before needed some attention.

"Yep, still on. I better get back to studying. See you then." Meredith said.

"Sounds great. Bye." Izzie said hanging up the phone.

Meredith sat for a few minutes thinking about the evening . . . She was a little worried what would happen when she showed up. . . If Derek ended up seeing her. She knew he would not need that distraction, but either way, he was going to be distracted. They had talked this past week about him needing at least 3rd to win the all around. . . Alex would take second all around if he finished behind Derek, but if Alex won and Derek finished past 3rd, Alex would win the all around. This thing between her and Derek couldn't have come at a worse time, but she knew she wasn't in the wrong, but it didn't make her feel any better about it.

She heard the doorbell again for the 3rd time and looked up at the clock; twelve noon . . . She wondered . . . the first time was 10. . . The second time was 11. . . And now it was 12. . .

She went to the door eagerly, not even looking through the peep hole this time, "Seriously?" She said when she saw the same delivery man for the third time today looking down at beautiful purplish flowers in a pot. She was trying to hide the smile that was bound to be threatening her lips.

Purple gloxinia with white tips

"Seriously . . . your man . . . he is quite interesting and he loves you." The delivery guy said with a smile thinking about the man this morning talking about the love he had for this woman and how bad he screwed up.

Meredith tried to fight the tears; she knew this man must have seen Derek this morning, "Was he. . . I mean . . . did you see him this morning?"

The man studied Meredith unsure exactly what to say, but one thing he knew . . . they were both hurting from the little bit of what he had seen, "I did . . . and he was . . . well, I hope you accept these flowers. I need to get going now, ma'am." He said, turning around to leave knowing this was not his last time to see her.

Meredith closed the door and sat these flowers on the bar in the kitchen. She quickly grabbed the card and opened it,

_To my Smart Racing Queen, _

_ Gloxinia means Love At First Sight _

_ Mer. . . I knew from the first moment I laid eyes on you. . . _

_ All my love, _

_ Derek _

Meredith let a few small tears fall thinking about the first night she saw him at the track. She knew he had written all of these cards himself . . . they were in his handwriting. She had never gotten flowers before, much less flowers like this. . .

She tried to study but couldn't get her mind off of Derek, she wanted to call . . . but she knew he was preparing for the race and she didn't need to get in the middle of that.

At 1, the same thing happened . . . the doorbell rang, she answered to the same man with different flowers:

Beautiful Orange Calla Lilies

_ To my Intelligent Lab Girl, _

_ Calla Lily means Majestic Beauty _

_ You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen _

_ All my love, _

_ Derek _

And again at 2:00 pm:

Pink Zinnia's

_To my Cute Cucumber, _

_ Pink Zinnia means Lasting Affection _

_ My affection for you is forever. . . _

_ All my love, _

_ Derek _

At 3:00, she knew it would be time for Izzie, so when the doorbell rang a few minutes early, she was pretty sure it was Izzie because the delivery guy was there straight up on the hour.

Meredith opened the door to see Izzie standing there with her outfit for tonight over her shoulder. "Come on in Izz." Meredith said smiling, unsure about what to do with all of the flowers, so she had placed them at various places around the room.

"Hey there Meredith, I am glad I could come on over. Mark and Der. . ." Izzie looked up at Meredith.

Meredith stiffened a little thinking about Derek and that Izzie may have seen him this morning . . . but, she just wanted to listen right now to what Izzie was going to say.

Izzie saw it was ok to continue when Meredith nodded her head at her and attempted to smile. Izzie continued, "They went on to the track about an hour ago to check some stuff . . ." Izzie stopped, mid-sentence, taking in the room that included the living room, dining room, and kitchen. "Meredith . . . the flowers. . ."

That is when they heard the doorbell again and Meredith knew because it was straight up 3 o'clock. Meredith walked to the door and opened it to find the same man . . . with something similar to the other 5 times, but this time he had something extra. . .


	51. And it Continues

**This one also has pictures . . . page 60 on the on call room . . . **

Derek got back home from the flower shop and the mall. . . Once he finished at the flower shop, he had to go and get a few things to add to the flower deliveries this afternoon before the race. He knew she would come . . . if not for him, at least for Alex. He also knew she would be dressed perfectly . . . 

He had left his cell phone at home when he left because he was in such a hurry, but when he got home, he was ecstatic to see the text . . . with those three words. He knew she wasn't ready to talk to him . . . because she would have said more, but he knew it would be ok. . . He hoped it would be after the day is over. . .

It was 3pm and he was now at the track . . . going through some things with Mark. He had been anxious all day long, but tried to keep his mind off of Meredith. He knew it was close to time that she would get flowers and the first of a few surprises.

"Shep . . . get your head in this . . . you have to . . . not think about her right now." Mark said, saying the last few words a little quieter.

Derek sighed, "I know . . . it is 3 and she has some things coming with the flowers in the next few deliveries."

Mark couldn't believe Derek set up to send her flowers every hour up until the time he figured she would be heading to the track. "She will be ok . . . she is coming tonight you know and you have to try and stay focused." 

"I will. Now, let's take a look at the door first." Derek said getting his head in the race as much as he could. . .

Back at Meredith's . . . she thanked the delivery man once again and took the box and the flowers back into the condo.

Lavender Roses

The Lavender Bath Set was in the box.

"Wow, Meredith. Whatever he did, he must be sorry." Izzie said.

"Yeah." Is all she said, opening up the card attached to the box.

_To my Enchanting Lady, _

_ Lavender Roses means enchantment. _

_ You have me under an enchantment. . . I love you, Meredith Grey. _

_ Lavender is the best color . . . your color. . . _

_ I hope you enjoy the gift basket of Lavender Bath Products. Take a long, _

_ relaxing bath before getting ready to come to the track. . . _

_ All my love, _

_ Derek_

Meredith couldn't help but smile . . . he was pretty amazing and she would wear it to the track tonight. Izzie walked over to the counter seeing that Meredith was done reading the card to see what was in the basket. . . She opened it with Izzie standing beside her to find everything she needs. . . body wash, body lotion, body mist, body and massage oil, bath salt, bath pillow, bath net, back scrubber, and a lavender sachet. . . all in her favorite scent and color—lavender. 

"Yeah, but, he really screwed up." Meredith said, smiling the entire time. She didn't want him to screw up that much, but, she did love that he was doing everything he could to make it up to her. She knew there would be problems in their relationship and she knew it wouldn't always be like this with the making up part, but she loved the way he was trying.

"Meredith, I don't know many guys . . . well, actually I don't know any guys who would go through this much trouble to do all of this." Izzie said smiling hugely.

"I know. We should start getting ready . . . you can use Alex's bathroom. . . Cristina's . . . there is no telling what it looks like." Meredith said, showing her to Alex's room and bathroom.

Meredith relaxed with some of the products Derek sent her. She couldn't believe he sent her the gift basket and the flowers . . . all of the flowers. She decided to bring the roses to the bathroom.

She spent well over half an hour in the bathtub, relaxing. . . She looked at the time on her cell phone and decided she needed to get out and get dressed. Before she got out though . . . she knew it was time . . . time to call him. She dialed the familiar number with a rush of nerves filling her stomach. She had no idea what to say to him.

"Hello?" She heard a voice at the other end of the phone . . . not Derek's voice. . .

"Um. . . Derek . . . are you with him?" Meredith asked nervously.

"He is busy, Mer. He is under the car." Mark said laughing knowing that sounded vaguely dirty.

"Mark . . . give me the dame phone NOW!" Derek said almost breaking his neck trying to get out from underneath the car, hearing Mark say Mer.

"Oh . . . ok . . . tell him I called." Meredith said, starting to hang up the phone.

"I think he is . . ." Mark was cut off before she heard, "Meredith."

Meredith's heart stopped at the sound of his voice. Time stood still for both of them. Neither knew exactly what to say, "Derek." Meredith breathed out.

"Meredith. . . I. . ." Derek started to say but Meredith cut him off.

"Derek, let me talk first please. I wanted to call and say . . . um. . . Thank you . . . and, we will be ok. I wanted to tell you thank you and that I love you. I know you have a big race to prepare for and you need to focus on it, not us right now. So, I am going to let you go right now. We need to talk. . . but, not before the race, tomorrow or something, ok?" Meredith said hoping he would let this go for now. She really wanted him to be able to concentrate on the race.

Derek let out a breath . . . a big one. He felt relieved and in his moment, he couldn't love her more. She cared about him so much, "Ok. . . Mer. . . I love you and I do have a race to prepare for, but . . . thank you for calling. I am sorry and I love you."

"I love you too Derek. I will see you in a few hours." Meredith said.

"I can't wait." Derek said before hanging up the phone.

Derek turned to Mark and said, "Now, I have a race to win."

"Let's get going then." Mark said smiling, patting Derek on the back, really happy Meredith called.

Back at Meredith's, it was 4:00 and she heard the doorbell ring. She wondered how long the deliveries were planned for. She was leaving around 5:30ish, so she figured this could be her last delivery.

Meredith had just gotten out of the bathtub, so she called down to Izzie to see if she could get the door.

A minute later, Izzie yelled up to Meredith, "You need to come and see what he has gotten you this time."

Meredith put her robe on and went down the stairs to see a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a box. . .

Orange Roses

The box is a gift box of Romance Perfume

She went straight to the card . . . loving every one of them. She had no idea how he knew this . . . she figured the people at the florist helped him with the meaning . . . but, the cards, he had hand-written each one himself.

_To my Beautiful Rough Rider, _

_ Orange Roses means passion and excitement. _

_ You show me so much passion and the excitement I feel when you are _

_ around is one of a kind. You mean the world to me Meredith; you are my _

_ breath of fresh air. I hope you like the perfume. Romance perfume. . . _

_ You deserve all of the romance in the world. I hope you will wear it tonight _

_ to the track. _

_ All my love, _

_ Derek_

She had tears in her eyes from this one. He couldn't believe he picked all of this out for her. "He really loves me."

"And you doubted that." Izzie said a little shocked.

"No, I mean. . . I know he loves me, but he was a real ass. . . Do you know what happened?" Meredith wanted to know if Izzie knew. . .

"I don't really know . . . we came home and he was outside drinking. . . Mark talked to him while I went to the room. They talked for a while. I didn't really see him this morning. Mark said he went out and Mark and I . . ." Izzie smiled big thinking about her and Mark this morning.

"You what?" 

"Nothing big really."

"Ok . . . like I believe that. But, we should get ready to go. We have a little over an hour until we leave." Meredith said hearing the front door open.

"What the hell happened in here . . . did the florist blow up in here or what?" Cristina said taking a look around, "I am gone for one night and there was a flower shop started in my fucking living room."

"Well, hello to you too. It is nice to see you." Meredith said rolling her eyes.

"This has McDreamy written all over it. . . What did he do? Seeing by the flowers it was bad . . . this flower means something like I am sorry . . . and this one. . . I think it has something to do with love at first sight . . . and this flower means. . ." Cristina said looking around, pointing to the flowers.

Meredith and Izzie looked at her with amazement as Meredith cut her off, "How do you know that?"

"When are you going to learn Meredith, I know everything. So, come on Mer . . . what did he do?" She said smirking at both Meredith and Izzie.

"He didn't do anything. . . He just loves me." Meredith said not wanting to tell her the real story because she would kill him even if he was sorry . . . really sorry. . .

"Like I believe you, but it seems whatever it was, he is making up for it."

"He is." Meredith smiled.

"So, you two must be getting ready to go to the track." Cristina said looking between Meredith and Izzie.

"We are . . . why don't you get ready and come with us." Izzie suggested.

"I have plans." She said definitively.

"It will be a great race." Meredith said.

"Yeah, I bet it will be and you will be there to cheer both boys on." Cristina said.

"I will be and I should be getting ready. We have an hour left until we need to leave." Meredith said looking to Izzie, both of them heading up to Meredith's bedroom to get ready together.

Meredith turned back, "I know you have plans, but do you want to come back up to help us get ready? You can help me pick out something to wear."

"You know if you want an outfit that will make McDreamy want to fuck you right there on the track . . . I am your person." She said smiling and going up the stairs with them.

As the girls were up getting ready, they heard the doorbell ring and sure enough . . . it was 5:00. . . "I thought there wouldn't be anymore." Meredith said in amazement as she quickly went down the stairs, followed by the other two, eager to see what was next, figuring this was the last.

Meredith opened the door and saw the most beautiful flower arrangement she had ever seen, "I hope this is the last delivery because if not, I will not be here."

"Ma'am . . . this is my last delivery. I hope you really enjoy all of these today. I have no idea what that man did, but it must have been bad. I have been in this business for over 20 years now and I have never seen a man want to make sure he is forgiven . . . this was really something special. I hope you have forgiven him." The rose bouquet was huge . . . Meredith had never seen anything like it.

Meredith laughed and took the flowers and the gift bag, "He is. . . I love him more than anything. Thank you so much. Wait right here for a second."

Meredith went and got $40.00 out of her wallet. . . "I am sure Derek took good care of you, but I wanted to also give you this. Thank you so much!"

"It is my pleasure. You too . . . you really love each other . . . a love that goes deep. I can tell." He said smiling as Meredith closed the door.

Izzie and Cristina stayed up stairs as Izzie was in the middle of doing her hair. She opened the card that was attached to the gift bag. . .

_To my one and only love _

_ Red roses mean I love you. _

_ Meredith, I love everyday I have with you. . . Last night, I blew it, I know _

_ that. Please accept these roses and know that each and every one _

_ represents things I love about you. They represent our past, present, _

_ and future together. . . they represent every day that I can say I love you. _

_ You are the love of my life. I know I will screw up along the way, but _

_ I can't live without you by my side. . . Ever. I love you! _

_ I hope you enjoy the other gift I got for you. I am told this is the thing to _

_ get someone right now and I think I remember someone saying how much _

_ they loved it. I can't wait to see you tonight. . . I love you! _

_ All my love, _

_ Derek_

Meredith had tears in her eyes. . . She couldn't wait to see him. She quickly opened the gift bag to see the purse she and Derek had seen in a catalog, the Dooney and Bourke Croc bag . . . with the matching wallet. Meredith wanted it, but together it was over $500 and she couldn't believe Derek would get it for her.

She went back upstairs and finished getting ready. They all three came down around 5:20; Izzie and Cristina couldn't believe the roses he sent . . . with the purse and wallet.

What started out as a terrible day for Meredith, turned into a day of luxury that she totally didn't expect. She was now off to the track and was nervous as hell to see him . . . she loved him and would do what she needed to make this work.

"Are you ready?" Izzie asked.

"I think so." Meredith said with them walking out of the door heading to see the men that these two women love.


	52. At Least Third

Mark and Derek had been working on the car all afternoon and Mark could tell Derek got more and more anxious as time went on knowing it was closer to time for Meredith to get there. Mark was glad she had finally called him; just talking to her earlier seemed to calm Derek down tremendously. He was able to concentrate on the race once he talked to her. Before Izzie, Mark didn't understand this . . . how someone could feel this way. But, now, he completely understood it. He just hoped he didn't do anything quite as stupid as Derek did to have to make up for it. He knew there would come a day though because they all screwed up at some point. 

They were done with everything they needed to do and had some down time, neither sure exactly what to say but both had the same thing on their mind, "Is she coming tonight do you think?" Derek asked Mark, not sure exactly what to say.

"Izzie went over there to get ready, so I am pretty sure she will be here. They were going to come together tonight." Mark said.

They both looked at each other and laughed at the same time, "That sounded vaguely dirty." Mark added.

"Yeah." Derek said, laughing a much needed laugh.

After a few more seconds of laughing, Mark said, "The anger . . . it has been a while." He hated to discuss this now, but he knew it was on Derek's mind and would be until he talked about it. He knew his brother well.

"Mark, I was a real ass . . . she was with her niece who needs her right now and I know that . . . I said things, I yelled at her and slammed my beer bottle down. I think that is what scarred her the most." Derek said running his hand through his hair.

"More than just yelling . . . that is different. Shep . . . she is something special. What you two have . . . it is unique. Don't fuck it up by letting your emotions become too strong. It is you, Derek . . . you get angry to the extreme and you get happy . . . to the extreme. You have to keep it in check. You have been doing really well since we have been here for Med school."

"I know . . . Mark. I just got so upset. I wanted to spend time with her so much. I know we are about to be really busy and she doesn't realize that. She loves her family . . . well, Alex, Bryant, and his kids and I got mad for no reason . . . that is why I did everything I did for her today."

"And again, you went overboard, emotions Shep. I get it . . . you wanted to make sure she forgave you, but every hour on the hour . . . and the other presents . . . It is a lot." Mark said knowing he needed to hear this.

"The flowers were your idea."

"Not every hour . . . on the hour . . . and the other gifts—not my idea." 

Derek sighed, he knew Mark was right, but he had to make sure . . . she was ok. "I know Mark. I just, I do love her more than anyone ever. She is . . . I can't lose her and I might. . . I mean . . . sometimes I don't even realize it. . . So, I might need your . . . help." Derek said continuing to look down. This was hard for him. . . asking for help, but Mark was his brother.

"Shep, you know you don't even have to ask, but if I need to, I will kick your ass. Meredith . . . she is pretty great from the time I have spent with her and she deserves something great . . . you are good for her, but you have to learn." Mark said watching Derek look up.

"Thanks for . . . you are a real good friend . . . my brother." Derek said.

"Ok . . . we don't have to hug or anything, do we because this conversation . . . is bordering on those lines." Mark said laughing.

"Definitely no hugging, but Mark, Thanks . . . really." Derek said relieved. 

"I will need you someday. . . I don't know how to do this dating thing . . . and not looking at other woman and not wanting to fuck anything with legs. . . I am really happy with Izz, but the girls . . . and sex with a different girl every week . . . it isn't an easy habit to break, you know."

Derek looked up right in time to see the blonde walking towards them and cleared his throat, "Hello, Izzie." 

Mark flipped his head around and smiled seeing her walk up, thankful she didn't a few seconds earlier. He gave Derek a quick glance that both of them knew meant, thanks. He stood up to meet her with a hug, "Hey there beautiful!"

Izzie smiled, "Hello to you." She said finding his lips to give him a kiss.

"Mark. . ." Izzie breathed into his mouth after she found the kiss deepen a little.

"You look . . . great tonight." Mark said pulling back, looking at her with amazement. He really was astounded how much he liked this woman . . . he was pretty sure he loved her. This was something he needed help about from Derek, but Izzie walked up before he could talk to him about it.

Derek was looking around, knowing Meredith had to be here somewhere. Mark said her and Izzie were coming together, "Um. . . Izzie, Meredith. . . Did she come with you?" He asked the second her and Mark pulled away from each other.

Izzie looked at him, trying to read his eyes. She couldn't believe how much he had done for her during the day. She still didn't know exactly what he had done wrong, but knew it was bad, "Derek, she went . . . over to Alex's pit. She wanted me to tell you she wishes you good luck." Izzie said knowing this was hard for both of them.

Derek sighed; he was a little disappointed, but understood. Alex's pit was at least a few down, so he knew it would be hard to see her, but as long as she was there . . . that was good enough for him, "Thanks Izzie. Is she . . . never mind?" He said knowing he shouldn't ask.

Izzie knew exactly what Derek wanted to know, "She is better. You have good taste. . . She loves you and you love her. I think you will be fine. She did want to pass along that she would be at The Temple tonight." She knew this would brighten Derek's spirits.

He looked up at her to make sure she wasn't joking, but quickly saw her smiling, knowing she was serious, "Thanks Izzie." Derek turned to Mark, "I am going to get some things ready . . . 5 minutes, I need you in 5 minutes. We have a race to win." Derek said smiling . . . he was really happy that Meredith . . . his Meredith had relayed those messaged through Izzie.

Mark spent his five minutes with Izzie and came back in time to do the last minute checks with Derek. The racers lined up and right before the green light turned, Mark made his famous last words, "It's a beautiful night to win a race, so let's have some fun."

The race was pretty uneventful. Alex and Derek stayed 1st and 2nd most of the race. There was a few times that Derek fell back to 3rd and once he went back to 4th, but was able to regain 3rd.

Meredith and Izzie had made small talk during the race, but Meredith was more nervous than she had ever been. She was always nervous for Alex before races . . . but, now, there were two of them for her to worry about . . . to think about . . . to cheer for. She knew Derek needed at least 3rd to win and if he didn't get it, he needed Alex to not win. This was a strange position for her to be in. Before the race, Alex told her that he understands her position and it was ok to cheer on Derek . . . he had really come around where Derek was concerned. He told her he could see how much they cared for each other.

With the last few laps together, everyone was on their feet. . . Meredith's stomach was becoming more and more nervous for what was to come. She didn't want to be the reason, or feel like the reason Derek didn't win the over all this season. Alex was pretty far ahead and Derek didn't seem to be trying to even catch him. . . He was just trying to hold 2nd or 3rd, but was even having difficulty with that.

"Come on, Derek . . . you have to take at least 3rd." Meredith said under her breath.

"3rd?" Izzie asked.

"Yeah . . . he won't win this race, Alex has a good lead, but Derek has to get at least 3rd to win the all around . . . if not, then Alex wins." Meredith said.

"He will do it. . .He is Derek." Izzie said, cheerfully.

"SHIT. . . DON'T LET HIM DO THAT!!!!" Meredith yelled loudly, watching the 4th place guy try to pass on the inside of Derek. Derek was able to cut him off and keep his position.

The checkered flag was waving and this was it. . .the entire season for Derek was riding on this last lap. Meredith had been nervous for Alex before . . . but, this was different . . . this was . . . it was strange because she wanted nothing more than Derek to take the all-around. The weird thing is if he didn't come in at least 3rd, Alex won. She immediately feels guilty for wanting Derek to win the all around. . .

She watched Derek try to maneuver to keep at least 3rd, having a difficult time holding his position. He was also trying to go after 2nd, but hopes of that was fading more and more. It looked to her he was really just trying to hold off the car behind him, which was probably a good idea at this point, probably something she would recommend if she were directing him.

As they were nearing the finish line, Meredith and Izzie were yelling along with everyone else. . . Alex crossed first . . . then, the 2nd place winner crossed. . .

"Oh my god." Meredith said as she watched both cars just a few inches apart coming to the finish line.

The two cars crossed at what looked to be a tie. . . Meredith was freaking out with most of the stadium. People did really like Derek Shepherd, the race car driver . . . he was one of the good guys as they called him.

The announcer said the judges were busy reviewing the call on the track . . . still unclear what the call on the track had been.

Meredith ran down from the stands onto the grass, unable to remain calm in the stands with everyone else. She wanted to go down to his pit, but she didn't want to distract him anymore . . . she knew he would be nervous enough. Maybe she should have talked to him earlier in the day, or gone to see him . . . or something. She knew this was not his best race . . . in fact; it may have been one of his worse races.

She just couldn't stand there though, so she took off running because win or lose, he was going to need her and she needed him. They still hadn't announced anything when she reached his pit. . .

She abruptly stopped when she saw him . . . he had just gotten out of the car. . .

The minute he saw her, time stood still for him and he momentarily forgot that his racing season depended on hundredths of a second that the judges were trying to decide upon.

They both smiled at each other, forgetting everything that had been said or anything that needed to be said between them. She went up to him and hugged him, looking deeply into his eyes, "I love you!"

In this moment, he could have cared less what the decision was . . . this was all he wanted to hear, anything more would be an added bonus, but, it was that minute that he heard the announcement. . .

"And third place goes to Derek Shepherd." The crowd erupted into cheers, knowing what this meant for him. The guys were already popping open the champagne in the pit. . . but, all Derek cared about was the woman in front of him. . . he picked her up, swung her around, causing both of them to giggle. He put her down and looked into her eyes, with the cheers going on around him, he took her face into his hands, "I love you Meredith Grey." He leaned in and kissed her. A kiss that said everything he needed to say. He then wrapped her up in his arms as tight as he could. They were the only two people at the track in this moment.

In his ear, Meredith said, "I am so proud of you."

Derek and Meredith stayed in this tight embrace, not caring about everyone around them who was celebrating. Mark had come down from upstairs, where they called the race from to celebrate. Izzie had found her way to the pit as well which caused Mark and Izzie to celebrate together . . . they were all happy and celebrating. Alex had even come down to join in . . . a few months ago, he would have been fuming about this, but now, he was happy . . . for Derek and his sister because she was truly happy, he even figured one day they would be brother's by marriage. At least he didn't know about what happened last night. . .


	53. The Flower Shop Man

Derek had to stay at the track doing interviews and various things to wrap up the race and season. Alex was doing the same thing. He had a good year as well—second place overall and winner of the last race of the season.

Mark stayed at the track instead of going on to The Temple with Meredith and Izzie. He wanted to go on with them and Derek even told him too, but Mark knew that is where Derek wanted to be as well. Derek knew he had to do the PR thing tonight though and it is one reason why he had the fan base he had—he was good with people.

Meanwhile Izzie and Meredith got to the bar, "Hey Suds, how are you tonight?"

Suds, the name they had given to the bar tender and owner of The Temple, replied, "I am good . . . the race was great. . . I am assuming you ladies were there. You girls look amazing tonight."

Meredith and Izzie smiled, "And we are both taken." Meredith said smiling.

"I know. . . I know, So, what is it tonight? The usual?" He asked them both.

"Yes." Izzie said.

"Actually, I am going to try and do something a little more light tonight . . . or should we say, less abrasive. . . What mixed drinks do you make with tequila?" She said nonchalantly, knowing she could make that last a little longer than her usual tequila shots and not get drunk. . . the goal tonight was not to get drunk.

Izzie just smiled, knowing why Meredith was trying to stay away from too much of the hard stuff.

"What a change in you, are you feeling ok tonight?" Suds asked and continued when Meredith giggled and shook her head yes, "Well . . . I will make just about anything . . . but, I do make a really good Herradura Splash. I actually just started making it. It has your staple in it." Suds said flashing her a smile.

"I have no idea what is in it, but sounds perfect." Meredith said smiling.

Suds went to making the drinks for the girls. He knew Izzie would want a cosmo. . . that is what she usually drinks.

"So . . . Derek, he did it, he pulled out the win for the season." Izzie said happily.

"He did." Meredith said watching the door. She knew he would be coming . . . they had talked about it before she left, but he would have a lot of interviews and things like that at the track before he could leave.

"Are you guys ok . . . because from what I saw at the track . . . after he won, you guys are definitely ok." Izzie said sure they would be ok.

Meredith looked at Izzie, "I think so. Things won't always be perfect in relationships, will they?"

"No, they aren't and Derek . . . he made sure you knew he was sorry with the flowers . . . all of the flowers."

Meredith laughed, "Yes, he did seem to want to make sure he made it up to me."

"Thanks Suds." Meredith said as he put down their drinks in front of them. Meredith and Izzie decided to go and grab one of the big tables for the group that was coming. They knew there would be at least 3 others if not more. Meredith had called Cristina, but didn't get an answer. She wondered what she was up to these last few days.

"I think I am in love with him." Izzie blurted out as both of them took their first drink.

Meredith almost choked on hers, not sure why Izzie just blurted this out to her and then, what was she supposed to say to her. She wasn't good at stuff like this and Cristina . . . she was her person, but they didn't talk about this stuff—ever. "So, you are in love with him."

"Yeah. . . I mean, I think so, but how do you actually know? I have been in relationships with guys but Mark . . . he is different, really different. But, he is totally a man whore. How do I know he can stay faithful and all of that? But, I do love him . . . or I think. . . I don't know." Izzie was talking very fast and gesturing with her hands.

Meredith just watched this person beside her go into complete freak-out mode . . . something Meredith is very familiar with, but in a different way. Meredith rambled and just acted . . . normal. Izzie kind of got . . . animated with her freak out. Meredith couldn't help but start laughing.

"Don't laugh at me." Izzie said smiling.

"I am not laughing at you, but Izzie. I am the one that freaks out, but you freaking out is some sight."

"And I thought we were friends." Izzie said laughing knowing she had freaked out.

They calmed down from the laughter a bit, "Seriously though . . . You love Mark. Do you think he loves you back."

"I don't know. There was a moment, this morning . . . that I just knew that I loved him and I think he felt it to. But, how do you know?" Izzie said.

"You think I am the person to talk to about this? Izz, there are many things you don't know about me . . . and relationships, or should I say the lack of them."

"You are . . . well, you are one of my best . . . good friends here. And, Derek and Mark . . . best friends, brothers really. Not to mention, you and Derek . . . you are kind of perfect for each other . . . real love or something, so I thought you may know something about it." Izzie said getting a very serious look on her face.

"Oh, Derek and I . . . we are just dating, you know. But, Izz, it is great about you and Mark. I think he does really care about you."

"Hello ladies."

Meredith and Izzie focused their attention on the man walking to their table, causing one of the girls to smile hugely. They both knew they would talk further about this at a later time.

"Mark, we were just talking about you." Meredith said smiling; pretty sure Mark hadn't heard what they had said as he was still a little ways off when he addressed them. Meredith immediately started looking around Mark though, hoping to find Derek close behind.

"He is coming Mer, he stopped off at the bar to get us drinks . . . and get another round for the babes sitting at this table." He said leaning down to kiss Izzie on the cheek while both girls looked up at him with a pissy look . . . for calling them 'babes.'

Mark quickly sat down beside Izzie put his arm around her and looked into her eyes before pulling her in for a kiss . . . a strong kiss . . . that went on and on. . .

Meredith looked over at the bar causing her eyes to meet his crystal blue eyes that were perfect. He was leaning on the bar, smiling and she hated when he did that because it made her want him . . . bad. Their connection was broken the second Suds had the drinks ready.

"You two are . . . causing a scene." Derek said to Mark and Izzie, laughing and setting down the drinks on the table.

Izzie and Mark pulled apart, "No more than you and Grey have done on numerous occasions." Mark said smirking, while never taking his eyes are hands off of Izzie.

"We have not." Meredith piped up as Derek snaked in beside her, pulling her in a tight embrace causing her to giggle.

"Ok. . . let's see. . . first we have had eye fucking a few times right here at The Temple, we have had the parking lot, which would have led to fucking in the middle of it if Alex would not have walked out, oh – not to mention at school. . . need I go on?" Mark said smirking, turning his attention over to the two of them and added, "and right now."

"We aren't doing anything right now." Derek said never taking his eyes off of the most beautiful woman.

"Ok – you would take her right here on the table if you could." Mark said causing Izzie to playfully tap him on the arm.

"I would if I could." He said smiling at Meredith.

"Ok, enough of hearing about my sister and her boyfriend having sex on the table." Alex said holding a beer in his arm with Brad beside him.

Meredith broke her gaze with Derek and looked up at her brother and smiled, "Hey there my twin brother, Brad." She acknowledged both of them as the two couples sat closer together to make room for Alex and Brad. . . the large booth would hold up to 8, so they really didn't have to squeeze too much together, but the four didn't mind.

"Congratulations, Shep. I have to say, Mark, you really are calling them well these days." Brad said, this being the first time he has seen him since after the race.

"Thanks and Mark. . . I am lucky to have him." Derek said.

"You are and don't you ever forget it. I am the reason you are what you are." Mark said laughing.

"Well, isn't this cozy. Can I join in or are you two not into threesomes." Alex said to Mark and Derek, laughing . . . causing an eruption of laughs from the table. All of them a little surprised they were all sit around, drink together, and laugh together.

As they were laughing, Meredith felt Derek's hand on her thigh, rubbing it ever so slightly, but causing her heat to raise a few notches. Derek looked at her when she cleared her throat and smiled. He reached down almost like it was natural, not even realizing what it may do to her, but now that he did. . . it wasn't going to stop there.

The table continued with casual conversation and drinks as Derek continued her pursuit on Meredith, bringing his hand up her leg closer and closer to her throbbing clit. He moved his hand to her other thigh causing a moan to escape her lips when he skipped over her middle. "Meredith, are you ok? You look a little flushed. What in the hell are you even drinking tonight?" Alex looked at her, curious what was up and why she was drinking something that appeared to be a little on the frilly side. She was a straight up tequila girl.

"I am . . . ah . . . fine and trying to . . . um . . . try something . . . ah . . . new tonight . . ." She barely got out when Derek squeezed on her thigh, his thumb brushing her center.

Noticing that they all needed drinks, Derek and Alex volunteered to go to the bar to get another round of drinks for the table, talking a little about the race tonight and the season overall. They talked a little about how far things had come and they were pretty shocked thinking back over the last few months.

"Well, it is a small world, how are you tonight?" A man asked them from behind them.

Derek turned around and sighed, "Oh . . . um . . . things are good."

"Well, from the looks of things, it looks like all of those deliveries of flowers and gifts today . . ." The flower shop man said.

"Oh . . . yeah . . . you know, she is pretty great and she really liked everything." Derek said cutting off the man, not wanting Alex to know anything about what had happened.

The man looked at the other guy standing beside Derek and knew Derek didn't want him to know anything else by the way Derek cut him off, "Well, I hope you have a good night . . . and great race tonight." The man said.

"What in the hell was that all about?" Alex asked.

"I sent Meredith some flowers today, just as a pre-race thing . . . you know . . . and a few gifts and stuff." Derek said nervously, fidgeting a little with his hands in his pockets.

"You totally fucked up. What did you do?" Alex said smirking.

Derek sighed. He wouldn't tell Alex the extent of what he did, but knew he wouldn't get away with not saying anything, "You know. . . I told you I wasn't perfect and I was a little upset last night that she sent the afternoon and evening with Marissa even though she needed to. I was an idiot, complete idiot." He said, regretfully.

"Well, as long as you made up for it. She seems to be ok and trust me, if she wasn't, you would know about it." Alex said laughing, grabbing 3 of the drinks while Derek grabbed the other 3.

Derek let out a relieved laugh, "Yeah. . . I did and I am really sorry about it."

"She is happy Shep . . . you make her happy." Alex said as they were nearing the table.

Brad got up allowing Derek to slide back in close to Meredith. She got close to him and whispered, "What was that about. . . I saw him talking to you."

"It is ok. I took care of it." He said in a whisper, grazing her lips . . . that had the taste of the drink of choice for the night. "Sweet . . . you have sweet lips mixed with tequila. It must be this drink."

"I wonder what is in it. It is good." Meredith questioned.

"I think I saw him putting pineapple and cranberry juice in it with a splash of lemon-lime soda. He put a shot and a half of tequila . . . he said you needed a little extra on this one." Derek said still whispering right at her lips.

"You want to take advantage of me." Meredith said as his hand was getting dangerously close to her hot core.

His lips went to hers . . . soft at first, but when a moan came from her throat, he went deeper with it causing a soft moan from him.

They pulled away not even realizing 4 sets of eyes glued to them, "I think . . . car. . . I need to go to my car. I think I left something there." Meredith said hoping Derek would follow her.

"You can't walk out there by yourself." Derek said motioning over to Brad to get up so they could get out, both of them knowing exactly what was about to happen.

They got out of the door as fast as they could without running or causing a bigger scene than they already did. "They are so about to fuck and after what Shep did, I am surprised she is giving in so easily." Mark said as Izzie shot her head at him, knowing he just screwed up. Mark saw her and realized. . . Alex. . . Mark looked over at him.

"It is ok; Derek already said he screwed up last night although I think it was worse than he said. It isn't my business though as long as Meredith is ok and by the looks of things . . . she is more than ok. Hell, for the first time possibly ever, I am jealous of the sex she is about to get because from the looks of it . . . it is going to be hot." Alex said laughing.


	54. Love the Car

**So, i thought . . . we needed to see just how . . . much they needed to be . . . alone. So, yeah - not appropriate for young 'ens . . . **

Meanwhile, the second they got out of the door, Meredith turned around, "I need you . . . now . . ." Attacking his lips and wrapping her legs around him as he picked her up. 

"God, I love you." He said trying to direct them somewhere, "Car . . . your car?" He said questioningly, continuing his assault on her mouth.

She got her keys out of her pocket, never leaving his lips and started pushing the button hoping her car was close enough by to pick up where it may be.

"You are amazing." Derek breathed in her mouth, but disappointed there wasn't a car that was responding yet, but he kept walking, hoping soon, they would hear something happen in the parking lot.

Finally, they heard the beep of her car. He quickly made a quick glance in the direction of the car and took them there, slamming her against the side of the car, as gentle as he could, but with force . . . he needed her and she needed him. 

When her feet hit the ground, her hands immediately when to his jeans, knowing he needed to be released . . . she could feel him the second he picked her up and she knew. Her hands grazed his cock that was rock hard and waiting.

"In. . . We need to get in the car, I need you, I need to taste you." He said thankful she had tinted windows in the back of her VW Toureg. He quickly opened the door and put the back seats down flat. He wanted to get to a bed, but he knew they would never make it and with the seats down, they had tons of room.

Meredith started to climb in and Derek was right behind her, falling on top of her. His hands immediately went underneath her shirt she wore tonight that fit her perfectly. When he saw her in it after the race, he couldn't believe how beautiful she was . . . how perfect she was and he was going to do everything to let her know that.

He took her shirt off in one quick movement, seeing her bra . . . the indigo blue, lacy bra that was for him. . .

"Like it?" She said biting her lip, looking at him as he looked at her in amazement.

"You are . . . so beautiful." He said pulling her pants off of her . . . the one's that fit her ass perfectly, although all of her pants fit her ass perfectly.

His breath caught in his throat when he looked at her . . . with matching indigo laced thongs. "My favorite color." He said moving his mouth down to her perfect abdomen.

She grabbed the bottom of his sweater and pulled it over his head; Derek pulling away just long enough to get his sweater over his face. He moved up her chest, to her neck, causing Meredith to moan, loudly.

She had already unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, so, her foot worked to get his pants the rest of the way off.

He sucked and nipped at her collarbone with her hands moving through his hair, down his shoulders, and onto his back.

"Oh, Derek . . . I love you." She said breathily.

He stopped momentarily and looked into her beautiful green eyes, "I love you and I am . . ." Meredith put her finger up to his mouth, "Shh. . . Talk later, but I know you are." She said as both of them moved forward to each other, locking their lips together . . . their tongues together . . . their souls together.

He took her in his arms and flipped her over on top of him so that he could take off her bra. Once it was successfully off, he flipped her back on her back and looked at her again, this time with her breasts perky and waiting. Her nipples were already erect, in anticipation of what was to come. He took both of his hands on them and ran circles around the nipple of both breasts.

"I need you Derek . . . in me." Meredith moaned while arching her back.

"Soon, my love, but, right now, this is all about you." He said the second before he lowered his mouth on her nipple.

"Fuck Derek." She moaned loudly.

His hand worked his way down her stomach and onto her mound still covered with her thong, feeling how wet she was. "Oh my god, Mer . . ." He said, taking his hand and pulling her thongs off of her, moving his mouth rather quickly from her nipple to her stomach, then to her thigh, not ready to take her throbbing clit just yet.

He stuck one finger in while he nipped at her thigh, "Derek. . ." She cried out as his other hand was squeezing her nipple.

"You are . . . Beautiful." He said licking one side of her lip, causing Meredith to shutter in anticipation.

"And flawless." He said licking the other side of her lip.

"Oh, fuck Derek, I can't take this. Oh shit." She moaned.

"And you are all mine." He said smiling, ready to take all of her in his mouth. He immediately went to her clit, swirling his tongue around it before hitting it directly.

"Derek . . . you are . . . god, you are good." She was trying not to explode already. She wanted this . . . needed this . . . to feel this immense pleasure he was giving her right now.

While his tongue was giving all of its attention on her clit, his finger was finding her spot . . . to play with it as well. He could feel her walls starting to tighten and he loved it. He loved that he did this to her. . . "Let it go, Mer." He said to her in between his hunt for the prize . . . her pussy was like a delicate fruit that he was sucking away at . . .

That was all she needed to hear, "Oh. . . Derek. . . I am . . . oh god . . . so fucking good." She moaned out knowing she never felt orgasms like this . . . not until Derek.

His mouth never left her until she was down from the amazing high she was on. He moved up her body to her lips, crashing them down on her, letting her taste her own juices. She licked every bit of his tongue in her mouth, feeling herself ready for him . . . for his big, juicy cock that was rock hard.

"I need this inside my waiting pussy, now." She said grabbing his throbbing member to direct him inside of her.

"Meredith . . ." He moaned the second the tip of his cock felt the heat from her pussy that was on fire.

He didn't need any more assistance from her, he thrusts hard into her. He continued thrusting into her . . . desperately thrusting. Needing to fill her, let her know she was it for him. He needed for her to know she was his.

"Meredith . . . your pussy is . . . oh god . . . perfect." Derek said, biting his lip trying to hold back the orgasm that was building, that had been building from the second she suggested she needed something out of the car.

Meredith knew he was ready to explode into her, "For me, Derek . . . do it for me." She said, feeling her own wall's closing in on him, taking her to her second high of the night.

Derek couldn't take it, "Oh, God, Mer." He said as he continued to thrusts into her as deep as he could, wanting to fill every inch of her with him as he hit his peak.

They lay there, together, in the back of the car . . . knowing it was not the best place, but neither felt better than in this moment.

"I love this car. It is nice and big, back here." Derek said, smiling at her.

"It is." She said, happily.

"So, should we go back in there?" Derek asked.

"Umm . . . think we should?"

"I think . . . we need to go home and do more of this . . ." He said kissing her cheek, "and, more of this . . ." Kissing her forehead, "and this . . ." Kissing her other cheek, "and this . . ." Making his way to her neck.

Meredith giggled the entire time, knowing she had to go back in there, the purse he got her earlier today was in there, "Derek, stop now, or we will never get out of this parking lot."

"I can't stop. I love you so much." Derek said, stopping to look in her eyes, to see . . . what they hold. He was relieved to see . . . they had the look . . . the look of love.

"I have to go back . . . I left my purse in there." Meredith said trying to gather her clothes that were scattered around them.

Derek started laughing, "Ok . . . if you want to hear it from them. You definitely have sex hair."

"And you love it." Meredith said smiling at him putting her clothes back on; Derek followed suit.

"I do love it, but Mer. . . Alex. . . I still worry a little you know."

"Oh, he will probably just be jealous that I just got hot car sex . . . love making sex . . . and make up sex at that."

Derek looked down a little, remembering why they were so urgent . . . but, knew they would be ok, "Mer, I don't want make up sex a lot."

Meredith stopped for a second, struggling to get her pants on and looked up at him, "I know you don't . . . but, it was fun, wasn't it." She said trying to make him feel better even though he was an ass.

Derek smiled at her knowing she was trying to make him feel better, "It was. Now, let's try to look presentable if we are going back, but they will definitely know we sexed."

"Oh well, they will be jealous and will all want it." Meredith said giving him a quick kiss on the lips while he ran his hands through her hair trying to make it look less . . . well, sex-like. Once clothes were back on, they got out of the car, straightening their clothes one more time and walking hand in hand back into The Temple.


	55. Butter Fingers

**Haha - I think this is pretty funny . . . hope you likey!!!!**

Meredith woke up to the smell of something good . . . wonderful even. She looked around her room and over at the clock, 9:37am. She couldn't believe she had slept so long. She put her head back down on the pillow, seeing a note on the pillow beside her. Sitting up, she took the note in her hand to read it. .. .

_Good morning, my love _

_ When you wake up, come on downstairs. . . I have a surprise waiting. _

_ I love you, Derek _

Meredith smiled . . . she knew he was cooking her breakfast, she could smell it. She decided to put on some pajama pants and her Dartmouth long sleeve t-shirt she loved so much. She received her undergraduate degree from there; her mother wanted her to go to medical school there, but only because that was where she finished medical school at. 

She descended the stairs and took in the smell bacon but quickly wondered where that would have been from. She thought for a second and knew it could have been from the freezer . . .

Meredith stopped the second she saw him in her kitchen. In his boxers, a white t-shirt and his hair all messy . . . he looked good enough to eat for breakfast. He was busy concentrating on what he was doing, so she decided to sneak up behind him slowly so that he couldn't hear her.

When she got behind him, she reached her arms around his abdomen and reached her mouth to his ear, slightly grazing with her lips, "You know what I want for breakfast . . .I think . . . I will have you for breakfast." She moved her hands down his abdomen, into his boxers and grabbed his cock that had already started into position.

"Oh god, Mer." He moaned not even realizing she was up yet, much less, standing behind him, with her hands down his boxers, removing them quickly.

He turned around so that he was facing her while she moved her mouth down his body, never letting go of his cock. She had started lightly stroking him, being careful to not touch the tip of his cock that was ready and waiting by now. 

She looked over on the counter . . . to see what she might want to use . . . and sees the butter out and open. Her mouth worked back up his stomach, keeping one hand on his cock; she took the other one and got a handful of butter . . .

She moved her mouth back down all the way to his thigh and back up to his balls . . . where she took one in her mouth, gently sucking on it, just perfect. She took the hand with the butter and smeared it over his cock.

He couldn't help but thrust in her hands feeling the butter smear over his cock, not even thinking about the bacon that is cooking . . .

She decided to keep her mouth on his balls for a while and let her hands work some magic. She laced her hands together and stroked him up each time starting as lost as she could and stroking up.

"Shit, Mer. . . Faster." He moaned titling his head back, thinking about how amazing this felt with her hot, buttery fingers on him and her mouth lightly sucking at his balls, something he really loved.

She unlaced her fingers in order to get her hands moving faster, up and down his cock. The butter made her hand move faster and faster up and down his cock.

"Oh, God, Mer, I am close . . ." He moaned out.

She quickly moved her hand to the spot on his cock that would stop him from coming, squeezing tightly with her thumb and fore finger, right below the skin.

"Fuck, Mer." He said looking down at her as she just looked up at him and smirked. She had other plans as well.

After a few seconds of holding there, "Not nice, Mer." Derek breathed.

"Oh . . . so, you don't want me to do this?" She moved her mouth up and put her entire mouth over him causing him to moan loudly.

He instinctively put his hands in her hair and leans up against the counter for support. "Suck it . . . baby . . . hard . . . oh god." He could feel himself ready to explode when he hit the back of her throat, over and over.

He couldn't help but thrust his hips into her mouth and shoved her head harder into him. "Fuck, Mer. . . Right there . . . I am. . ." He shot his cum all in her throat . . . over and over until she sucked him dry. 

He was in pure bliss when they heard it . . . the smoke alarm going off. . . "Shit." Meredith said.

Derek quickly turned around and saw the smoke from the stove . . . the bacon was burning.

Meredith quickly went over to the sink and got a cup of water to put it on the smoke as Derek grabbed a kitchen towel and fanned it over the smoke detector. Meredith started opening the windows to try and get the smoke out.

When she got back to the kitchen, they just looked at each other and laughed, "So, who is not so good in the kitchen now?" Derek said.

"Oh, I think I was plenty good. You should just learn to multi-task a little better." She said smirking.

"Ok, so, next time you are studying and I am ready to play, I will remind you of that. You will need to continue to study will I give you the ride of your life."

"I gave you the ride of your life?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Let's just say this was a first for me in the kitchen and yes . . . it was the ride of my life." He said walking over to her, wrapping his arms around her, in just his t-shirt. He didn't think to ever put his boxers back on.

He closed his eyes and held her for a few seconds, thinking about how lucky he was to have her and how much he needed to do everything in his power to keep her . . . forever.

"What the hell happened in here?" They heard from the door, Meredith turned around and saw 10 eyes staring at them.

Meredith looked at them in disbelief. She wasn't even considering the possibility they would come here. She noticed Marissa looking very curiously, trying to get a peek. Bryant quickly covered her eyes and Alex took the boys eyes.

"Shit." Derek was thankful Meredith was in between him and her brother's, thinking about how pissed he would be if he walked in on one of his sister's and boyfriend. He at least had a shirt on, so it could be worse he supposed.

"Go get some damn clothes on, Shep while my sister explains to me why the condo smells like it was almost burned down." Alex thought he knew exactly what had happened here. Alex and Bryant turned themselves and the kids around so that Derek could at least cover up.

"Oh, ok." Derek said, looking to Meredith when she turned back around to face him. They looked at each other, a little serious and then both kind of giggled when Meredith looked down, seeing Derek was ready to go again . . . except this time, Meredith would have enjoyed what he had to give her. Meredith motioned that his boxers were just a few steps behind Derek which he was thankful about.

Derek really wanted to stay down with Meredith . . . to help her because he was sure she would need it, but he also . . . needed to get at least something more than boxers to wear. . . considering he hadn't completely gone down all of the way.

"I am just going to run upstairs to get some pants on." Derek said heading off upstairs, trying to be quick.

"Do you two ever stop?" Alex said smirking as they all turned back around.

"Alex." Bryant mumbled looking at him, reminding him there were kids present . . . and Marissa especially. She was a sponge, soaking in everything, looking around her aunt and uncle's place.

"So, did you guys get too busy in the kitchen and forget something was cooking?" Alex smirked looking at Bryant, challenging him to say something because he purposely phrased the comment so that it would be . . . clean for the kids, but right to the point.

Meredith turned a few shades of red, having no idea what to say and she was thankful to see Derek already coming back down, "Yes, your sister was really hungry this morning and just couldn't wait for breakfast." He said, walking to Meredith and wrapping his hands around her from behind and giving her a kiss on the cheek. He was embarrassed, but he also knew Alex. He wouldn't let his embarrassment show through because that would be more ammunition for him.

Bryant just smiled, "I bet she couldn't." He looked at them both and knew they were really happy. He then looked to Alex and just laughed because Bryant knew Alex was surprised Derek even came back down and . . . so quickly at that.

"Aunt Mer, what is with all of the flowers? Did you start a flower shop or something in the condo?" Marissa chimed in all of a sudden, then thinking a little more, "Oh . . . this has to do with Friday afternoon doesn't it?"

Meredith immediately felt Derek tense up behind her, "Oh, Marissa . . . boys . . . they send flowers sometimes . . . even when they just do small things . . . they all mess up from time to time." Meredith rambled on and stopped when she noticed Bryant looking around at the flowers and settling his eyes . . . with a hint of worry . . . on Meredith and Derek.

"But, you were on the phone with him and you had tears in your eyes when you hung up and you were not yourself as much as you tried to be." She was a smart girl and as much as she enjoyed the day with her aunt, she knew something was wrong.

Bryant didn't like what he was hearing knowing there was more to the story. He could see it on both faces of his sister and her boyfriend, but he also knew it wasn't Marissa's business. "Hey, honey . . . sometimes problems are . . . grown up problems."

Marissa looked down sadly, "Like you and mom."

Bryant took a deep breath. She didn't mention her mother much, it had been almost a month since she left and it was hard on a girl her age. He had no idea what to say to her because this was nothing like he and Morgan. He and Morgan never looked half as happy as Meredith and Derek did, but how do you say that. He also would never consider sending so many flowers to make up for anything, no matter how wrong he had been.

"Not like me and mom. Marissa, we have talked about this. If flowers were enough . . . But, they aren't sometimes." Bryant sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He really hated Morgan at this point for leaving . . . and calling only 4 times to check and see how everyone was doing.

"Derek, I don't think you need to mess up too much, but enough to get Aunt Mer flowers." Marissa said walking over to Derek, satisfied by what her father told her.

"Hey . . . what did we say about calling adults by their first name." Bryant warned.

"I am sorry." She said, but looked back at her dad, "Then what do I call him?"

Derek looked at Bryant and indicated that he had it. "Well, your dad says you can't call me by my first name and I definitely don't want you to call me Mr. Shepherd, something about that is too formal. What do you want to call me?"

Marissa thought for a second, "Well, Uncle Alex called you pussy whipped this morning. I don't think they knew I was up already. I am not sure what that means, but . . ." Derek closed his eyes as did Meredith.

"Ok, that is enough . . . let's get what we came for, big brother." Alex said trying to divert attention, knowing he was in some kind of trouble with Bryant.

Bryant gave him a look . . . they had been talking about the night before. Bryant and the kids went to the race, but then Bryant took them home. Alex told the account of what happened at The Temple the night before. "Marissa . . . can you and your brother's go in your uncle's room real quick and watch TV." Bryant said a little more sternly than he wanted. 

"Of course, you have some grown up things to talk about. Come on boys." She said pulling them into Alex's room. . . But, stopped before she went in, "I think you are in trouble." She smiled and looked at Alex.

There they stood unsure exactly what Bryant wanted to talk about, but by the way he looked at all three, he had some things to say to all of them.


	56. Calling Uncle Derek

Bryant calmly stood in the living room, "Let's all sit down at the table." He spoke in a normal tone, it wasn't like him to yell or raise his voice much. 

Derek looked at Meredith; both of them a little unsure, but Derek took her hand and led her to the table, pulling out the chair for her, before sitting down himself.

Alex really just wanted to go with the kids . . . he knew he was about to be reamed and Bryant . . . he had a way of being mad that was different. He didn't get angry or raise his voice; it would be like he was disappointed.

They all sat around the table and looked at each other. It was like Bryant was the father getting ready to facilitate a discussion. He took a deep breath, "First of all, we walk in here and it is obvious there is smoke in here. How old are you two?" He said to Meredith and Derek.

They looked at each other, unsure what to say. They weren't expecting this, Meredith started, "Um . . . we are . . . old enough . . . we aren't children and we just . . . we got busy. It happens . . . you know I burn things in the kitchen." She said rambling on nervously.

Bryant looked at Derek to see what he had to say. Derek really didn't know what to say, "Look, man, we are sorry we got carried away. It was careless of us . . . both of us know that. But, it just happened. I am not going to say I am sorry though . . . I am sorry that I almost burned down the kitchen, but I am not going to say sorry for . . . having fun with my girlfriend in her own house."

Bryant just looked between Meredith and Derek for a second; thinking about what he would say next, everything he said was very methodical. He wanted to address Derek, but he would wait and do that one on one before he left, "You have to remember there are other people who live here. Meredith . . . you have to be responsible. I need you right now more than ever." Bryant said needing to stop, to take a deep breath, "Marissa . . . I need someone for her. She looks up to you so much. She needs a positive person in her life."

"And I am that, Bryant . . . and I can't believe you would say that just because you walked in after I had finished giving my boyfriend, in my own house, I remind you, a blow job. . . Yes, there was food going on the stove . . . But, they make smoke detectors for a reason. It doesn't make me irresponsible. I love that girl so much. . .that I even gave up. . . " Derek grabbed her leg under the table and her hand found his . . . She shouted much louder than she needed to, but thinking about Friday afternoon caused her to stop.

"Time with Derek on Friday afternoon and evening. Marissa knows you were upset all afternoon. She came home feeling terrible about it." Bryant said. 

"She had a great time." Meredith said loudly with a look in disbelief.

"She did . . . but, she knew Meredith, she knew that you were upset and it had to do with Derek and the phone call when you first picked her up. She didn't tell me at first. She talked about the fun you guys had, but I knew there was something she wasn't telling me. I kept asking her and she wouldn't say anything else. Finally . . . she told me that she was scared Derek would be mad at you because of her. That she was the reason you were crying . . . or almost cried and tried to be happy, but she knew, Meredith . . . my almost twelve year old daughter knew."

Meredith had no idea what to say. She could feel the tears rushing into her eyes and she was doing everything she could to not let them show. Meredith started to speak, unsure what to say, but Derek knew he needed to say something, "Bryant . . . I am . . . that was . . . look, I am not perfect and I am . . ." He wasn't lost for words much, but right now, he was nervous as hell. He took a deep breath, "I love Meredith and I was selfish and I did upset her and I am sorry for that. I am sorry for what I did. But, Meredith . . . she is . . . the only woman I would want my children to look up to . . . she is strong . . . giving . . . loving . . . and she loves those people close to her . . . more than anything." He couldn't believe he just said this . . . all eyes were on him, a little in shock. He really just said . . . he wanted his children to have Meredith.

Bryant sat back in his chair looking at them before focusing on Derek, "I am glad you talk about how great she is . . . and she is my sister, there is no one better for Marissa to look up to."

He turned his attention from Derek to Meredith, "But . . . there are a lot of things right now that has your attention and you know it. Morgan has only called 4 times to talk with her and I am worried about Marissa. Even though she is almost twelve, she's not grown up yet and in many ways . . . she is still my little girl . . . I just need someone who can be consistent with her and be there for her . . . she needs it and deserves it . . . the boys have Alex and I, but she needs. . . you."

"And she has me. I will be that Bryant. I do have school and I do have to study, but I can do it Bryant. Derek will be around though and that will have to be ok." Meredith was very clear about that.

Bryant eyed Derek carefully, "She likes Derek, and we just need a different name than pussy whipped for him." He turned his attention to Alex who had been smirking the entire time, "Yes, I have been watching you, Alexander, smirking the entire time, thinking you had gotten off . . . you didn't." Bryant said calmly; ready to say what he needs to say to him.

"Woah . . . you can't be pissed at me about anything. You were just as interested in the story I was telling you about last night and you laughed your ass off when I called him pussy whipped and just because your daughter happened to hear. . . I am all of a sudden in trouble." Alex said knowing he wasn't going to get off that easy.

Derek was standing almost with his mouth open at what Alex just said. Alex . . . it is one thing Derek always hated and loved about him . . . his pure honesty.

"You are right and I also need to be more careful . . . I have a fucking twelve year old at home who thinks she is twenty and I just . . . we just need to be more careful around her . . . all of us. I think that is part of. . .this . . . all of this. But, you have to be careful what you say because as much as I was laughing, I didn't and wouldn't have used those words knowing my kids were home." Bryant calmly said setting his elbows on the table and putting his head momentarily in his hands.

"Or . . . I know . . . I have a better idea . . . why don't you guys NOT talk about Derek or me for that matter . . . our lives . . .And more importantly, our sex lives do not involve either of you." Meredith said a little frustrated.

"Well, maybe if you didn't sex your boyfriend any and everywhere . . . we wouldn't talk about it." Alex smirked at her.

"You are just fucking jealous you aren't sexing anywhere." Meredith said nastily.

"Ok, you two, stop. This isn't helping. I would really like to focus on the kids right now." Bryant said, shaking his head. He really didn't care to hear about his sister's seemingly good sex life.

"Mr. Derek . . . That is what she should call me. I mean for now . . . she can call me that. . .all of the kids can call me that if that is ok with you." Derek suggested thinking one day they could call him Uncle Derek. He was trying to follow Bryant's lead and get off of talk of his sex life . . . amazing as it was, he didn't care to talk about it to her brothers. It was already bad enough with what they saw earlier and last night . . . going back in to The Temple was stupid because Meredith really had sex hair . . . and they both looked much . . . sexed.

Meredith smiled at Derek and put her hand on his leg, "I think that would be great." She gave him a quick kiss on the lips and looked back at her older brother.

"Bryant, I know . . . things are not easy for you or for the kids right now. I really can't imagine what you must be going through, but me . . . I am really happy right now . . . maybe more than . . . I have ever been . . . in my life. I am not going to apologize for having some fun, but I can do that and be there for Marissa in the way she needs. I know, Bryant . . . what it is like to grow up with an absent mother. I mean, she was around you know, but not really. Alex and I . . . we had you and now . . . your kids have us." Meredith said sincerely to her brother.

Bryant looked at his sister and smiled. He did see it . . . how happy she was. He really worried about her. He knew some things happened to her months ago, but Alex never talked about it and Bryant never asked. He had accepted the fact that Alex and she shared every single thing in life, "Meredith, you know I want nothing more than for you to be happy . . . and right now, you are. As much as I . . . hate you guys almost burned down your kitchen doing stuff that I definitely don't want to know about, I am glad . . . you are having fun and happy. I don't want anyone different for Marissa to look to. I am really glad you want to be there for her."

"You know I do, Bryant. I love that girl and I know what it is like . . . and I promise you . . . it will be different for her that it was for me. You know . . . she is starting puberty and . . . things will start happening and have already started. It is about time for the talk Bryant . . . And I am sure you don't want to do it. I wanted to talk to you about it before I just talked to her myself, but I will do it." Meredith knew Bryant wouldn't want to hear this, but he needed to because she had noticed she was really developing in many ways and new her monthly friend would be joining her soon as well.

Bryant sighed, he really didn't want to think about his little girl growing up at all, but knew his sister was right, "God, where did my baby go? She is my baby girl . . . but, you are right. I want her to know . . . things . . . before it happens so she doesn't freak out. Just . . . when you talk to her, be honest with her. She is going to have lots of questions for you I am sure." He let out a much needed laugh.

"Since when have you known Toots not to be honest?" Alex chimed in.

"Thank you, twin brother . . . that is definitely a quality we both share just fine." She addressed Alex first, rolling her eyes. "Bryant . . . I think . . . I get out of class early enough on Wednesday's and I could pick her up from school. Why don't I start getting her those days and if I can't, I will call Marissa at least a day ahead of time." She suggested, happily.

Bryant looked at his sister in amazement, "That is a . . . great idea. Do you really have time?" 

"I do . . . I may have to take her home pretty quickly, but most of the time, she can just come hang out with me here while I study or do whatever I am doing even if it includes Derek being there . . . and us behaving of course." Meredith looked at Derek and smiled.

Bryant looked at Derek and back to his sister, "She will like that, but please . . . please don't . . . be . . . you know . . . at each other the entire time."

Derek laughed, "I will keep my hands off . . . any parts that have to be covered up."

"That will be almost impossible." Alex said under his breath.

"Ok, that . . . has to stop if you are going to continue to stay in my house. I am glad you are helping me because it would be hard by myself, but that shit is exactly what my children are hearing." Bryant stood up looking at Alex.

"Man, I am sorry . . . I am trying, I really am. It just comes out." Alex said, really serious. He has to learn, but it will be hard for him.

"I am going to talk to Marissa . . . we need to explain to her a few things. Meredith, would you like to come with me? I am going to send the boys out. I am sure they will enjoy a good wrestling re-match with you two." He said smiling. Meredith got up to go with him.

They walked into the room, "Boys, go in the living room with Uncle Alex and Mr. Derek which is what you are to call him." Bryant said looking at all 3 kids.

Both boys looked at each other and got the biggest smile in their face, "Yay!" They shouted going into the living room. Bryant could already him them started.

Marissa sat on the bed, with a sad look, "Daddy, am I am trouble? I am sorry if I said something wrong."

Bryant sighed, "Come here, baby." He took her into his arms, "Daddy loves you so much." He held her a second as tears trickled down her face as Bryant held his in.

He and Meredith explained a few things about not repeating things she hears and if she hears something and wants to know what it means, to ask one of them. They explained Meredith would be picking her up on Wednesday's and she was really excited about this; although, at first, she made sure Derek wouldn't be mad. Meredith explained Derek would be with them some of the time, but other times it would just be the two of them.

As they were walking out of the room, Marissa looked up to both adults, "So, when can I start calling Mr. Derek, uncle?" Meredith stopped dead in her tracks and looked up at Derek who had suddenly stopped wrestling. . .


	57. A Game

**Ok - I am warning BIG TIME . . . b/c this update . . . is a tribute to RL making it to page 69 on one of the boards . . . it is a game of lick/kiss/suck. If you are were not able to vote yesterday . . . you aren't old enough to read. Just wanted to make that clear up front. I hope you enjoy, it was tons of fun to write (I even had one try it and report back LOL)**

Derek was glad when Bryant, Alex, and kids left a few hours ago. He and Meredith really needed to study; he hadn't gotten any done because of being angry Friday night and trying to make up for being angry the night before, all day on Saturday before the race. He knew Meredith didn't get as much studying done either as she needed tol. 

They had been studying for a few hours when Meredith said, "Derek . . . this is hard . . . I just don't know how I can remember all of this . . . all of the parts." She learned the basics in her biology program for her undergraduate program, but now she was trying to remember the more intricate details they were learning in med school.

Derek looked up at her. They decided to study for some of their other classes before studying for the class they had together. He closed his book, "You know, I need a break and I can help you. I aced that class last year."

"Was there a class you didn't ace?" She challenged him.

"No. But, I know lots about nerve endings and . . . the body." He said in a somewhat raspy voice.

"Hmmmm . . . I may need your help then." She moved a little closer to him knowing exactly what that tone meant.

"Let me show you some things, I think, I need you to lay down on the floor . . . naked." Derek huskily demanded.

"So, this lesson should happen in my bed room after what happened earlier today . . . And if I am naked, you are naked as well." Meredith seductively said, unbuttoning her shirt and letting it fall as she turned around to head upstairs.

Derek quickly followed her, taking off his shirt as well going up the stairs.

They reached her room and Meredith walked over to kiss him but before she could, "Mer . . . lesson . . . I have to show you some things . . . you need to lie down on the floor as I said earlier. I am going to teach you some things and you are going to have to point some things out to me as well."

They both quickly got the rest of their clothes off quickly and Meredith lay down on the floor.

"Here is how it is going to work. I am going to touch different places and you have to lick the first time, kiss the second time, and suck the third time each place on my body then, we start over in that order." Derek could hardly wait, already feeling himself becoming excited, ". . . and, if you are in the right place . . . you may get a lick, kiss, or suck there as well on your body. Do you understand?" He seductively said.

"I think." Meredith barely got out, nodding, biting her lip while taking a deep breath . . . already feeling herself heating up.

"Let's get started. Now, I have to make sure you really understand the right body part, so make sure to be very thorough. If you get it right, you may get a similar action." He nodded as he lay down on his stomach at her head to work his way down her body touching, so that she can lick the part he touches.

"We are starting with this." He put his finger at her forehead and she licked with her tongue on his forehead and they both giggled licking each other's forehead.

He went to her left cheek and touched as she giggled and kissed his check with him returning the kiss. Next was her other cheek that he touched, she sucked and he sucked.

"Are you going to remember to start over, with a lick this time." He seductively said as he touched her nose. She licked his nose and he returned it.

Meredith took a breath, hoping she knew what was next . . . He took a deep breathe as well, touching her lips. They couldn't see each other's eyes which made it that much more interesting. They meet each other, kissing, starting off as a small kiss for a second, and then turning passionate . . . full of need . . . full of desire. It took everything Derek had to pull back and continue this pursuit on her. 

"Derek . . ." She moaned, both of them wanting more, but both wanting to keep going with this game of lick, kiss, and suck.

"Patience, my love. You have some things to learn and I have to make sure you know how all of these nerves work." He wantingly said. 

The second he touched her neck, she attacked his neck, causing him to moan, "You are . . . getting the hang of this game." He barely got out before attacking her throat.

"I like . . . this game." She said pulling her hands into his hair.

"No, no, no touching; only mouths are involved. I think I get an extra . . . suck . . ." He felt her lips already assaulting his neck, sucking, "Fuck, Mer . . ." He said out of desire for her.

"You said, you got an extra." She giggled innocently.

"New Rules, no talking. Remember the rules. Just . . . my hand can touch, not yours." He said, touching the spot right in between her breasts, causing her to breathe deep in her stomach. She licked, he licked.

Left breast, he touched, she kissed his nipple, and he kissed her nipple.

They were panting already, thinking what was next; neither could wait . . . both ready to go . . . His hand covered her right breast.

She immediately had her lips around his nipple, sucking and nibbling on it, "Oh, god, Mer." He said no talking, but, he momentarily forgot what he was doing . . . that . . . he never had someone suck on his nipples before, but damn it was . . . hot. He was doing everything he could to not just end this and fuck her right then. He gained his composure and attacked her nipple as well. She bit down on his nipple the second his lips found her nipple, sucking on it . . . hard. "Derek . . ."

She pulled back causing him to pull back, both of them knowing there was no way to keep quiet . . . that was a rule that was definitely not going to be followed. This was a slow . . . seductive . . . pursuit. Getting to know each body and they needed more.

He went to her stomach and touched her perfect belly button. She licked all around as he followed suite.

He was having hard time even thinking about where he wanted to go, but he knew if he got any lower between the place he is now and her perfect, wet core, his hard, waiting cock would be dangerously close to her mouth . . . and he had plans, but those plans were getting harder and harder to stick to.

He scooted down her entire body, causing her to moan when his cock brushed her cheek on her face and rested right in the middle of her body. The tip of his cock could feel the heat radiating from her core ready and waiting. He couldn't wait to get back there, meeting in the middle . . .

He got to her right knee . . . stopped and touched it. She kissed his and he kissed hers in one fluid motion. Even in this position, they fit . . . perfectly together.

He moved on down to her foot and touched her big toe and he gasped when she created a vacuum around his toe and about lost it. He took hers and did the same which caused her to let go of his, "Derek, oh my god."

They continued this, rotating between a lick, kiss, and suck, until he was there, at the place that he was his and only his. He took a deep breath, knowing she was going to be doing the same thing to him . . . he touched her left lip while breathing, "lick" and Meredith breathed the same, licking up and down the left side of his hard cock , including his left nut as he did the same thing to her lip, both hot . . . both ready . . . more than ready.

They both took deep breaths, trying to keep their hands away from touching . . . exploring, but mouths, that was it . . . for the moment. "Kiss" He breathed and Meredith could feel. . . his hot breath on her core as he went over to her other lip and both of them . . . at the same time kissed the right side . . . of each part . . . of each other . . . the most cherished of all parts of the body.

It was time . . . he had been waiting for this part the second their lips crashed together at the beginning of this game.

"Suck." She breathed out as her lips closed in around his throbbing cock . . .

"Fuck . . . mer . . . suck . . . time to suck." He moaned out before going in . . . lightly sucked her clit, like a delicate piece of fruit.

She moaned the second he took her clit between his lips causing the vibration on him to feel unbelievable.

She moved her mouth to his balls and started to suck lightly as her hands found his cock, "Rules . . . no . . . um . . . touching . . . " he breathed out as he was went deep in her . . . feeling his way around with his tongue . . . something he has done a few times to her since they have been together, but it always felt like the best time . . . he savored every flavor she had to offer.

"Fuck the rules . . . you will have to punish me later." She said, continuing sucking lightly on his balls and stroking his cock.

He flicked her clit with his tongue before diving in between her lips for a second time . . . feeling . . . with his tongue . . . droving him nuts how wet she was . . . for him. He loved the fact that he did this to her . . .

The second his hand got to the juices that were flowing down her leg to spread her legs farther apart, he felt her hands on his balls with his cock going right back in her mouth, immediately hitting the back of her throat, "Fuck . . . Mer . . ."

He continued sucking and nibbling perfectly on and around her clit. She moaned anytime he changed his directly or changed the pace causing vibrations on his cock as she sucked like no one else could. 

"I am so . . . close, baby. . ." Meredith yelled as Derek was nearing there also. He knew he couldn't keep hitting the back of her throat and hold it in because the first time it hit back there, he was ready to explode, but he was holding back as much as he could, feeling Meredith starting to contract a little.

He stopped and blew on her clit while his hand went in . . . hitting her spot that he had found the first night they were together.

She bucked hard against him sucking him as hard as she could, "oh god . . . Mer."

He knew he was about to let go when he felt her walls start tightening in on his fingers while he was sucking on her clit, just the way that drove her nuts and sent her over the edge.

"Together . . ." He breathed out a second before he was shooting down her throat as she continued to suck every bit that he had until it was all out, moaning loudly as her orgasm hit at the same time as his.

He quickly rolled over to the side, not wanting to collapse on top of her, but at this second, he couldn't move. That was the best study session he had ever had and by far the most interesting game he had played.

"That was . . ." He said looking up at her with as little energy as possible.

" . . . wow." She said turning her head ever slightly to look in his direction.

"We may have to play that game again." He said trying to wrap his mind around what they just did and how . . . great it was.

"I think we do . . . definitely do." She said scooting a little closer so that she could lay her head on his chest and look at him.

They looked into each other's eyes for a few seconds, "I love you." Derek said thinking about all of the things he loved about his girlfriend.

"I love you, too." She said quietly, keeping her head down on his chest.

They lay there for a few minutes, basking in each other and their love for each other, "Derek?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah." He answered, stroking her hair.

"Do you want . . . I mean, one day . . . a long time from now . . . will you want . . . Bryant's kids . . . I mean . . . do you think they will call you uncle . . . one day." They had just kind of avoided this earlier.

Derek lay there, and couldn't help but feel pure love for this woman. This woman, who was so closed off, was talking . . . about her niece and nephews . . . calling him uncle. "Meredith, one day . . . I would love for nothing more."

They lay there for more time than they needed to . . . but, it was perfect. They knew they would have to get up and face the world outside, but for now, they were on top of the world.


	58. Almost Nothing

**This is some fun updates with pictures for the costumes on the board . . . **

It has been almost 2 weeks since Meredith and Derek had their run in with the smoke detector. Meredith has kept her promise to Marissa, picking her up the last two Wednesday's. The first Wednesday, they had fun together, but Meredith knew the second week, she was going to have to have the talk with her. It had gone well, but Marissa was completely mortified. 

Derek and Bryant had lunch earlier today. Bryant wanted to go sooner after the conversation, but their schedules never met up. There were some things Bryant wanted to discuss with Derek.

As a result of the conversation, Derek understood a little better why Bryant was so protective over Meredith and Alex. He found out that Bryan practically raised the two of them . . . well, with the help of a nanny, but the nanny was just there because someone had to be there in case of an emergency. Bryant had some tough questions for Derek regarding his intentions with Meredith and was very happy with what Derek had to say. Derek reiterated the same thing to him as he did with Alex . . . he would try his hardest to not make mistakes, but he would . . . he would also spend a life time making sure he always made it up to her. 

Meredith and Derek were watching Pirates of the Caribbean. It was Thursday evening and Halloween was tomorrow. Meredith wanted to know what Derek and Bryant talked about and Derek just responded, "just stuff." 

She looked up at him from where her head was on his chest, "Stuff, like what kind of stuff?"

Derek knew if he told Meredith, it would be hard for her. He shook his head, "He just talked to me about why he was . . . like he was last week with us. How he was the one to watch over you and Alex.

Meredith thought back to the many nights when she would need help with homework and it was Bryant . . . or the first time she thought she had a broken heart because the boy she liked in kindergarten didn't like her. . . it was always Bryant.

Meredith just nodded and moved her head back to resting on his chest.

Derek knew that she would be hurting just thinking about her younger days . . . he had to think of something, "So, what time is the party that you have us going to tomorrow night?"

Meredith laughed thinking about how Derek will make a very hot Johnny Depp, "It is 7 and it will be fun. I bet Izzie throws great parties. There will be lots of good food anyway . . . maybe even cucumbers." She raised her eyebrows.

"I will show you a cucumber." He grabbed her and flipped her over on top of him while they were on the couch and kissed her passionately. She had to bring this up every so often and when she did . . . he just couldn't contain himself and immediately felt a rise. He knew they would always have . . . cucumbers . . . forever.

They made love on the couch and again in the bed before going to sleep. They were going to study tomorrow during the day so they could go to the party . . . and have a great time for the night.

They were probably going to crash at Izzie's. She said she didn't mind because she had an extra bedroom. When Meredith first met her, she wondered how she offered such a nice place, but they soon found out Izzie modeled and apparently made tons of money doing it. It was something else that Mark loved about her. They came from similar backgrounds . . . Izzie had her fair share of men like Mark . . . But, they had decided they were done with that . . . hopefully forever.

They got up the next morning, studied, and went and ran some errands to get ready for the party. They went and picked up their costumes. They had decided they were going to go as Pirates and picked one out for the other without the other knowing what they had picked out.

They started getting ready around 5:30 at Derek's. Cristina had actually come home for a little while to sleep. She said she was coming to the party tonight and would have a date which didn't shock Meredith too much. Cristina was almost never home anymore and figured she was staying with someone.

"DEREK!" Meredith yelled from his bedroom when she went to open the bag her costume was in.

Derek smirked in the kitchen, knowing she had seen the costume. He picked it out knowing it would look great on her. He shook his head and headed into his bedroom.

"WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING, I AM NOT WEARING THAT. WHERE IS THE REST OF IT?" She yelled loudly at him, gesturing . . . major gesturing, pointing to the costume . . .

He walked over and continued smiling at her, trying not to laugh, "I think you will look hot."

"THIS IS NOT A PIRATE'S COSTUME!" She continued to yell at him . . .

He was really trying not to laugh; this was exactly what he expected from her . . . he knew she would fight him on it . . . but he also knew she would look great and would wear it if he asked nicely, "Mer, it definitely is a pirate's costume. See, it has the hat . . . and . . . well, it is a pirate, Mer . . . I knew . . . I wanted a hot pirate on my arm and this . . . will definitely do it." He smirked.

"I might as well go with nothing on." She smirks back, "the boys should love that."

"But, you are all mine . . . they can all look, but you are mine. I am the only one who knows your ticks . . . the ones . . . that make you . . . scream." He said to her with his eyes becoming dark . . . thinking about her ticks and how she was completely his.

She could feel her heat rise quickly, "I am yours." She said biting her lip, getting a little excited . . . thinking about her wearing Derek's choice for her costume. She will parade around him all night . . . two could play at his little game.

"You are and this . . . you are mine and you are . . . gorgeous." He walked up and wrapped his hands around her.

"Get ready . . . we need to get ready." She breathed wanting to just be late, but she promised Izzie they would be there on time if not a little early.

"We do . . . what did you get for me to wear?" He asked curiously, trying to get his mind off of his rising member thinking about just what Meredith will look like in the costume he got for her.

"Oh . . . It is right here and . . . you are going to be hot." Meredith said grabbing the costume to hold it up to show him.

"Johnny Depp, Mer . . . seriously. You only want me to wear that because you have the hots for Johnny Depp. You just want hot sex with Johnny Depp." He smirked, knowing she had a thing for him.

"Wow, is Johnny Depp coming to the party tonight? I do want hot sex with him. I wonder where I can find him?" She said giggling knowing exactly where she was going to find her willing participant.

"I think you will get your Johnny Depp . . ." He smirked knowing this was going to be an interesting night.

"Oh yes, I think so." She was dangerously close to his lips, ready to ravage them.

"Ready . . . we need to get ready." Derek breathed.

"We should . . ." She closed the rest of the way in to kiss him softly.

"Mer . . ."

"We have time." She stated in his mouth.

He pulled away, "No, later . . . it will make it . . . hot." He raised his eyebrows a few times.

She giggled, "Then, you take your costume and go in Mark's room or something. I will meet you out in 45 minutes and we will go."

"Oh . . . you want to surprise me. I can't wait." He said leaving the room.

45 minutes later, she called for Derek to let her know she was ready. She walked out of the room and her breath caught the second she saw him . . . he was way more hotter than Johnny Depp ever thought about being.

Derek saw her and he thought his mouth had fallen to the floor. "Mer . . . maybe you shouldn't wear . . . um . . . that."

"You picked it out. I think . . . I look rather hot in it." She seductively smiled at him.

"No, you . . . can't . . . wear that. I won't be able to . . . um . . . leave your . . . side." He muddled through wanting to rip off the costume and show her what she does to him.

"It will be . . . fun." She grabbed the keys to head out the door.

"Fun . . . having me want to bend you over and sex you in front of whoever is standing there . . . tons of fun." He groaned.

Meredith felt her core heating up more and more. She walked up to him and whispered in his ear, "If you are a good boy, maybe before the party starts, we can . . . find a private bathroom or something." She stated and walked out of the apartment to head to the car. 

Derek followed her, hoping he could settle down before they go there. He had no idea how he could contain himself with her . . . looking like that. What in the hell was he thinking? 


	59. The Rest of the Costumes

"I can't believe you really are wearing that." Derek said as they walked to the door of Izzie's apartment.

"You picked it out for me. . . I think it is fun actually." Meredith smirked at him. When she first saw the costume, she thought there was no way she was going to be wearing that to the party. But, now . . . she loved it and knew Derek would be regretting it, but she was going to have fun . . .

"You would think that. Just . . . I am the only one touching." He knew the minute he said he shouldn't have, but he just couldn't help it because she looked damn hot and knew every guy in the place would want to touch.

She batted her eyes, "Only look . . . all they can do is look because there is only one man that will be touching."

"And who is the lucky man?" He moved in close to her and put his arm around her back, pulling her in to where she could feel . . . his excitement peaking already.

"The pirate. . ." She said breathily.

"I am glad I am the pirate . . . and a hot one . . . we are . . . we make a hot duo." He breathed into her lips before he grazed them, eliciting a moan from Meredith.

"We need to . . . go in." She pulled back a little. She knew they had to or she might take him right in the hallway of Izzie's apartment.

"We should." He rang the doorbell.

Meredith leaned up to his ear, "If we . . . finish the last minute preparations for the party, you may get a before-party fuck from a naughty pirate-ess."

Before Derek could even speak or do anything, he heard the door open, "GUYS. . . your costumes are so great. Mark, come and see." Izzie said excitedly.

Derek could hardly breathe; he was trying to do everything he could not to think about the promise of a quickie before the party. He wanted her . . . before they left his apartment and in the car . . . it took everything he had not to pull the car over and now . . . she said . . . they could. He just wanted to pick up her up and find the first available place to pull that skirt up and ram her.

Meredith looked at Derek, she knew she had gotten to him and moved in front of him. "You look great too Izzie . . . a roman goddess . . . beautiful."

"What is it Izz?" Mark walked up as he took one look at Izzie in his roman costume, giving her a kiss on the cheek, cleaning his hands off with a kitchen towel. He looked over at the first guest who had arrived, "Holy Hell . . . Shep, what the fuck are you thinking . . . I know you told me the costume was hot, but . . . Mer . . . you look . . ."

Derek threw him a warning glare, "She does look great and she is mine." He smiled, wrapping his hands around her stomach.

"And you . . . are you dressed . . . as Johnny Depp?" He laughed.

"I look hot." He smirked at Mark.

"Ok, you two . . . stop with the girly chit chat and let's get going . . . I really need help. Meredith, Mark told me you were good at chopping up vegetables, and said you were an expert with the cucumbers. He was so weird about it and did some stupid ass smirk when he said it. And Derek . . . Mark needs your help doing some decorating. People will be here in thirty minutes, so we need to get going." Izzie said. She was great at planning parties, but she started to get nervous as time got closer to the time of the party.

Meredith laughed thinking about the cucumbers, "Well, Derek says I am the expert with the cucumbers, so I can handle that."

"I bet you are." Mark said, smirking at both of them.

"Settled." Izzie said turning around not really aware why there were giggles and walked into the apartment.

Meredith went to follow her, but was pulling back by her shoulders when she heard in her ear, "You are an expert with the cucumbers, and I know of one that needs to be . . . used . . . twenty minutes." Derek whispered in her ear seductively, before walking in Mark's direction.

She took a sharp breath in . . . she needed these twenty minutes to be over. They both walked away and got busy with their jobs . . .

Fifteen minutes had passed. Derek and Mark were hanging the last minute decorations. Izzie had turned the place into a very cool haunted looking place. Meredith and Derek were very impressed. They had already partaken 2 glasses of scotch, "Mer . . . what in the hell were you thinking letting her wear that?" Mark asked.

"She is hot and keep your hands to yourself." He said hanging the spider web.

"Don't worry, Izz would chop it off . . . and . . . actually . . . Izz is special. I may look, but I don't touch . . . and don't want to. It is crazy, right?" Mark asked at Derek.

"Oh my god, you have turned into me." Derek laughed.

"Shut the fuck up man." Mark said, laughing at little because it shocked him . . . a lot. He was Mark Sloan, a woman a week . . . not anymore.

"I am happy for you, man." Derek stopped for a second to look at Mark.

After a few seconds of them working, "I bet you have already had hot sex tonight. . . Izzie was all weird and wouldn't even let us get ready together. She wanted me to be surprised or some shit. I knew what her costume was . . . that woman drives me nuts sometimes. Is that their job?" Mark asked.

Derek laughed, "Yes . . . it is I think. But, we wouldn't have it any other way. Let's face it man, they have us. And for hot sex . . . I think we are going to use the guest room in . . ." He stopped to look at his watch and grinned, "2 minutes."

"Izz will kill you guys." Mark laughed.

"She is the one that said we could stay over. In fact, she insisted to Mer that we stay so we could drink and not worry about getting a taxi or anything. So, we are going to . . . test it out. She had to realize after a night of partying and drinking . . . there would be sex . . . lots of it actually. Mer is fun when she is drunk, well, she is fun anytime, but when she has been drinking . . . incredible. Her body bends in all sorts of ways." Derek felt himself more ready than ever to go and get her out of the kitchen.

"Izz . . . she is . . . the best I have ever . . . and I mean . . . ever had. And you know, that is . . . saying a lot. She is the best at it all . . . not just one thing or another." Mark was trying not to think about all of those things. . .

"It is almost like when you find the person. . .that you can't live without, it is all perfect, it fits together." Derek said grinning thinking about how well Meredith and he fit in all aspects.

"You are right. I think . . . I am about to go sweep Izzie away for a quick 5 minutes while you do the same with Meredith. She is going to kill me, but she can't resist me." He smirked, hanging the last decorations.

"Tonight will be . . . fun . . . we needed this. School has been stressful in the last week." Derek said.

"Yeah, it has. It is nice to let go before we have to get ready for finals, because the next 5 weeks are going to be hell." Mark shook his head.

"None of that tonight . . . I think it is time to escape. Maybe you should as well." Derek suggested.

"Izz . . . she is too stressed out about this party. But, she has promised me a getaway during the party." Mark said.

"Hey you two, Derek, can I see you a minute . . . I need . . . um . . . some help . . . I need another cucumber." Both boys turned to see Meredith in the door way, biting her lower lip, looking very innocent.

"You are one lucky man, Shep." Mark whispered only loud enough for Derek to hear.

"We both are." He said low as well, before saying to Meredith, "I may be able to help you with that."

Derek quickly left the room with Meredith. Mark sat there shaking his head as Izzie came in without Mark's knowledge, and whispered in his ear, snaking her hands around his lower abdomen, "You know . . . you were a good boy . . . helping me today and I think . . . good boys get rewarded."

"Now?" Mark asked almost unable to breathe thinking about where her hands were going.

"Now . . . guest . . . they will be late and if they aren't . . . oh well. I need you. Seeing you with that on . . . I just . . . now."

Mark turned around pushed her gently against the wall, raised her dress and his costume and quickly entered her. He knew they only had a few minutes, but it was long enough . . . for both of them.

"That was . . ." Derek said zipping his pants and making sure everything was in place.

"Hot." Meredith was also getting herself back together.

After a minute, "Why does the doorbell keep ringing? If that many people are coming in, don't you think we would hear them?" Meredith asked.

"Why don't I go check it out." He started to walk out the door before turning around, "You are mine." He smirked.

"I am. You need to make sure I remember that throughout the night." She spoke seductively; walking closer and closer to him as they both heard the doorbell again, "Go." Meredith said.

Derek walked out and looked around and didn't see anyone, "Mark, Izzie?" He yelled into the main room and stopped the second he saw them, "Well, well, well . . . too busy to get the damn door?"

Mark turned around and smirked back at Derek, "Oh . . . um . . . we were . . . just making sure the decorations were all in order. Door . . . we need to get the door." Izzie said, hiding behind Mark trying to make sure everything was back in place.

Derek laughed, "I will go . . . you two need to . . . fix yourselves. You look sexed."

"I will get the door. Come on, Shep, you are coming with me." Mark walked up to Derek and motioned for him to go with him as Izzie walked to her room to make sure she looked ok after what they just did.

"So, I thought she wasn't putting out until the party started." Derek laughed.

"Yeah, well . . . she can't resist me man." Mark grinned, opening the door to reveal Alex and his date.

Alex was dressed like a pimp with a fake mustache and all.

"Alex . . . who do you have tonight?" Mark asked looking over the French Maid on his arm. He looked, but wouldn't consider touching her. Izzie . . . she was perfect.

"Hello, guys . . . don't you both look cute, I bet your girls coordinate. Knowing my sister . . . and Izzie. This is Christine." He said smiling.

"And you are a pimp . . . how fitting. Hello, Christine, I am glad you could join us tonight." Derek said laughing. He was glad they could joke about that.

"You are a hotter than Johnny Depp." Christine looked Derek over a few times.

"He does make a hot pirate, my pirate." Meredith walked behind him, slapped his ass, and reached up and kissed his cheek, letting Alex's date know very quickly who was boss.

Derek smiled at Meredith . . . knowing she was the only woman he cared to ever look at, "Hello." He kissed her lips, putting his arm around her.

"WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING?" Alex said loudly to Meredith, with his eyes almost popping out of his head.

"You don't like it? Derek picked it out for me." Meredith smiled, while smiling at Derek.

"Where you fucking crazy?" Alex said to Derek taking off his robe to give to Meredith.

"What are you doing?" Meredith asked looking at his brother, who didn't have a shirt on underneath.

"I am giving you a cover up. You are not going to parade around here like that." He demanded.

"Your date . . . she is going to parade around here like that, so what is wrong with me?" She said to Alex, before looking at his date and smiling, "Hello, I am Meredith and I am Alex's twin sister. It seems he has lost his manners." She smirked at Alex.

"Hello, I am . . . Christine." Is all she could say to Meredith.

"Hey guys . . . Come on in." Izzie said quickly while walking into the room, before stopping to look at Alex and his date, "Hi, I am Izzie." She looked at Alex's date not sure what to think.

They walked in and Alex looked to Derek, "You are really going to let her wear that?"

"Well, it is her costume . . . and at the time, I thought it was a good idea . . . but now, I am not sure." He said thinking not only about the other guys, but himself . . . would he be able to handle it.

"So, Christine, what do you do?" Meredith asked trying to get off the subject of her costume.

"Oh . . . I am a massage therapist actually." She speaks up.

This caught the attention of all of the boys, "So, Alex, have you experienced those hands yet, because if not . . . " Mark suddenly stopped, "you will probably need to soon." He recovered . . . old Mark . . . old Mark comes out sometimes. He almost said if not, he would . . . but that would be stupid, so stupid.

Derek looked over at him, knowing he had just done something that was a first for him. "Drinks . . . we should get some drinks." Derek said trying to break up the stare that Izzie was currently giving Mark.

After about thirty minutes of talking and mingling, Meredith saw her person coming in the door with a mysterious date. . .

Cristina was almost like a she-devil and his date . . . was masked in a scary like costume.

"Excuse me, I will be right back." She smiled at the people from school she and Derek were talking to. Izzie had invited some people from school.

As she turned to walk off, Derek grabbed her and pulled her into him hard, "I am ready . . . you are so damn hot. I need you again . . . in five minutes, meet me in the room."

Meredith took in a sharp breath because she wanted him as well, "Yeah," is all she could get out.

She took a deep breath before walking over to Cristina, "Good evening, I am glad you could join us. Hello, I am Meredith." She extended her hand for Cristina's date to shake.

He did stick out his hand but didn't offer any information. He leaned over to tell something in Cristina's ear and walked off. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, he was going to get us drinks."

"Who is he?"

"The grim reaper."

Meredith laughed, "No, seriously, who is he? I know you are sleeping with him, you are never home."

"The grim reaper . . . that is who he is and yes, the sex is the best with that man."

"I can't believe you are holding out and giving me nothing."

"I am going to go and find him. Izzie really invited a lot of people. I am not sure where he even went." Cristina looked around for him.

"You are changing the subject, but I am glad you came." Meredith smiled, she was genuinely happy her person came tonight.

"Yeah . . . well, don't go all sentimental and crap." She said walking off to join the person she brought.

She looked around the room and that is when her eyes met his . . . the perfect one's that made her heart melt. He gave her the smile . . . he had different smiles and that one was definitely the 'I need you now' smile, which was more like a smirk. He started walking out of the room towards the room they were staying in and he turned back and with his eyes, he told her to come . . . to the room.

She didn't hesitate to follow closely behind him and into the room. The second she closed the door, his lips were on hers. "I had to have you. Watching all of the guys . . . look at you. I have to have you." He breathily said into her . . . Tugging at her top . . . or what was covering her perfect breasts . . . he needed it off. The sex they had before the party didn't involve her breasts, but now, he needed him. He had been watching her . . . and her breasts and how they are popping . . . in that costume.

He figured out how to get the top off of her to free her breasts, he ravaged them the second it was off and found himself pushing her towards the bed, never letting his mouth off of her nipple . . . where he was nibbling and sucking.

"Harder . . ." She said running her hands through his hair, laying on the bed now, grabbing for him . . . she needed him.

He groaned the second her hand found his cock, ready and waiting.

He drove his hand into her unexpectedly, "Fuck, Derek . . . I need you."

He took his freed cock and thrust into her. Within a few minutes, they were both at their peak. . .

When they were done, Derek laid there looking at her, "You are beautiful . . . but, never again can you wear something like that in public. Watching everyone . . . look at you, it is driving me nuts and makes me want you that much more."

"You did this and I am not complaining. I look damn hot." She giggled.

"And cocky, this outfit has made you cocky." He kissed her lips while starting to sit up.

"I am hot. We are a hot couple." She laughed, starting to feel the effects of the alcohol that has already been consumed.

He could already feeling himself want her again, but he knew they needed to get back. "I think we should get back to the party. I am getting hungry and should eat."

"Again?" She laughed knowing what he meant, but thought she would mess with him a little more.

"Oh – I will be eating again very soon . . . don't you worry about that."

"You better. But, for now, let's go get actual food. I do say, I worked up an appetite as well." She raised her eyebrow at him and smiled.

"Stop looking at me like that. We need to go out there . . . and with that look . . . it will be hard." He knew it would be hard in more than one way.

"Ok, let's go." She said leading them back out and into the kitchen. They were happy to be here together. They needed this . . . to have fun and let loose so closely before finals, because for the next five to six weeks, they would be studying almost non-stop.


	60. First Full Time

The last month had been very busy for them as expected. Meredith was doing her best to spend her Wednesday afternoons with Marissa, although the last one had to be at Meredith's apartment while she studied for a bit. 

Alex was staying with Bryant and the kids some, but was doing many late night or all night study sessions at the condo. Alex went back to his usual behavior when it came to girls. He really was getting ready to settle down, especially watching Meredith do it, but after experiencing what Bryant was going through, he never wanted that. He also knew he wanted . . . what his sister had found. He wouldn't admit it yet, but he saw the love they had. Even through their few problems, they had worked it out. He also saw something very special between Mark and Izzie. He knew if Mark could do it, he could as well.

Cristina came to a few of the study nights, but seemed to be doing her own thing and no one really knew why. Meredith tried talking to her a few times and knew it had to do with the mysterious person with her at the party, but Cristina wasn't talking and Meredith decided not to push.

Mark and Izzie were in love as much as Derek and Meredith. Mark and Izzie had to be careful though . . . He was the TA for her class and it was against the rules. Dr. Bailey suspected, but there was nothing she could really say without proof and if truth be known, she liked Mark even though he was a cocky ass and would have just taken care of matters herself and they all knew she was capable.

Derek and Meredith . . . they practically were together every night at one place or the other. At the current time, Meredith was outscoring him a bit in their class together, but she was the best at it all. She would be great like her mother and everyone knew it. She retained all of the information she needed. She hadn't even hit the actual practical side, but her professors knew she would be as good there as she was in the classroom.

They had decided to order pizza tonight. Derek and Izzie had cooked together a few times to provide some good and healthy meals while they studied. Finals week was hell week for any student, but especially for med students. The first day of finals started tomorrow and they all felt they needed more time, but that was normal for any student.

"Pizza is here." Meredith excitedly put her laptop down and went to the door, grabbing the money on her way there.

"She gets way too excited over pizza . . . that is the unhealthiest stuff ever." Derek smiled watching her.

"She always has." Alex watched his sister get the two pizzas, breadsticks, and Buffalo wings. They knew it was going to be a long night and possibly an all-nighter tonight.

Derek got up off of the couch to help her in the kitchen get plates and things they would need. He wrapped his arm around her form behind and whispered in her ear, "I love you."

"Hmmm . . . do you just want pizza first?" She giggled.

"Pizza . . . you know I don't like that unhealthy stuff."

"So, you say, but you seem to eat a lot of it when we get it."

"Well, I just eat it because . . . you do and I love anything you love." He kissed her cheek before opening one of the pizza boxes.

"You do want to be the first." She giggled again, watching him find the perfect piece.

"Well . . . I just want to get it before the vultures come in." He laughed opening the other box and getting a piece out of that box.

"And you are getting the more unhealthy pizza. Are you ok?" She said watching him take a bite of the pepperoni, mushroom, and olive pizza instead of the vegetable pizza.

He shook his head, yes and smirked at her with his mouth full of pizza.

She just giggled at him seeing Mark coming their way with the others in tow.

They had been eating about thirty minutes before going back to work. Meredith and Derek opted to sit on the floor for a little while as Izzie and Mark were sitting on the couch with Alex and two other students sat at the table.

"I am so full, I can't even concentrate." Derek said rolling over on his back.

"You ate a lot of pizza . . . and breadsticks . . . and buffalo wings." She giggled while patting his stomach.

"Don't remind me. We need to study. We need to rock this test tomorrow." He said sitting back up, leaning his back against the couch.

"We will, but of course, I will score higher." She challenged him in every way.

"No, no way . . . I have this one." Derek said playfully, pulling her over to him for her to lie between his legs on his chest.

"We will see." 

"You wanna make a bet?" He challenged her.

"If you want to lose, we can?"

"Nope, I will not be the one losing, my dear." He kissed her head.

"What are the terms?" She asked, she would never turn down a challenge.

"If I win, you have to cook me dinner, by yourself. If you win, we cook dinner together."

"Wait . . . either way I am cooking, what kind of shit is that? And you like to cook. So, if I win, I get . . . dinner . . . that you cook by yourself, then a night of . . . you being the slave . . . I get to do whatever I want." She said seductively.

"I think I would let you win for those terms." He breathed into her ear.

Her whole body shivered as she felt his hot breath on her ear. She felt her body react . . . the way it always did when either of them did anything seductively. She turned around to face him and looked deep in his eyes, they both knew they had to take a break without saying a word.

Meredith stood up quickly and went up the stairs not waiting on Derek. He looked around noticing everyone was looking at him, "Um . . . we have to look for something . . . some flash cards she made."

"Yeah . . . right. Please just keep the noise down this time." Mark rolled his eyes. 

"I didn't need to hear that, Mark." Alex said as they all watched Derek climb the stairs quickly.

He opened the door to her room and she was already naked, "You are starting without me." He quickly took of his shirt and pants.

"I couldn't wait." She said as she rubbed circles around her clit with one hand and ran her other hand around her nipple.

"I think you have been a bad girl." He said flipping her over and slapping her ass.

Meredith squealed, "He bent down to her ear, you have to keep it down, your brother is downstairs tonight."

He knew they didn't do quiet . . .

After 45 minutes, they came back down the stairs, "I almost came up and fucking killed you. Were you killing her?" Alex grumbled to Derek.

"Oh . . .We were . . . sorry." Derek said, not able to control the smile that was forming as Meredith came down the stairs.

"What in the hell was that? We got no studying done. I think you ran off the other two, they said they needed some energy drinks about 20 minutes ago." Alex addressed Meredith.

"Oh . . . we were looking for something." She said innocently.

"I hope you fucking found it." Mark piped in.

"I think we did." She giggled looking at Derek.

"Back to studying so I can have a slave for the night." Derek smirked, raising his eyebrows at her.

"No, no, you have it wrong, I didn't agree to that . . . but, it doesn't matter, because I will win."

"I don't even want to know." Alex said shaking his head before putting it back in his books.

"You don't." Meredith laughed before going back to studying with Derek on oversized chair that they had to snuggle closely together.

They needed these breaks as they studied. Both of them had really studied non-stop for the last two weeks. It was perfect . . . studying together and able to have fun together. Now, all they had to do was get through finals week . . . Meredith's first full finals week . . .

120


	61. Unexpected Plans

"I rocked that test. I really thought Dr. Wright's final would be harder, but I knew everything on it." Meredith said confidently as her, Mark, and Derek walked out of the room. 

Derek and Mark looked at each other rolling their eyes. Both of them were thinking the same thing . . . the test was pretty hard. Trying to be a supportive boyfriend, "I am glad your first final in medical school went so well." He smiled and put his arm around her shoulders and squeezed her a little.

"How did you guys do?" She asked excitedly.

"Oh . . . fine, I am sure I did ok." Derek said trying to hide how nervous he really was.

"Yeah, me too. I am glad I don't have anymore today. I am just glad only one day this week I have two finals in one day. The rest of the days, I only have one." Mark said wanting to find Izzie before her final was started.

"I need to go and see if Dr. Lawrence will need me for his final that starts in a few minutes. Knowing him, he will want me to stay while his ass leaves." Derek moaned.

"Bailey let me off this week. She is a hard ass, but, she takes care of me. I think I am going to be her TA next term too, but Izzie doesn't have her, thank god." Mark really wanted to be able to be more open with his relationship with her. Bailey had not let Mark photocopy anything for her final which let him know she suspected, but he didn't care too much. She warned him . . . but, also mentioned off the record he better do nothing to hurt her because she was a nice girl, a little perky, but good.

"What are you about to do?" Derek asked Meredith smiling at her through tired eyes and kissing her forehead.

"I need to go and study. . . I have two tests tomorrow." She sighed looking at Mark because Bailey's was one of them that she had tomorrow.

"Don't look at me, I know nothing. Study the material she gave you and you will do fine on it . . . like you need to study a lot . . . you have the highest grade in the class. In fact, you have the highest grade out of both classes she has." Mark grumbled at Meredith.

"I am sorry if I am genius." She smiled looking ahead which was good . . . because the look Mark was giving Derek . . . was not good.

Derek sighed, he knew he had to say something to her but was really hesitant, "Mer . . . honey . . . I am so glad you feel so confident . . . but, well . . . Mark and I . . . we hear it a lot and we . . . well . . ."

She stopped quickly and whipped her head around, "Well, what . . ." She said with a hint of anger in her voice. She couldn't believe he would say anything to her.

He stood there not sure what to say, so Mark spoke up, "We get tired of your shit . . . we know you are a genius and we aren't too shabby ourselves, but enough is enough."

Meredith looked at Mark shocked not knowing what to say, "You are just pissed you can't be as smart as me . . . you are the one that said I had the highest grade in both of Bailey's classes. . . and you" She said looking at Derek and pointing her finger at him, "you just can't take it . . . that I am smarter than you."

"No . . . Mer . . . honey, I didn't." He tried to say but before he knew it she had stormed off. "Fuck," He mumbled, looking at Mark and shaking his head before running after her.

"Meredith, stop, please . . ."

"No . . . I have to go and study and I wouldn't want to hurt your ego."

"You aren't, honey . . . it is just . . ."

She turned around sharply again, "It is just what?"

"Mer . . ." He whispered. He knew they were all tired from studying and he didn't want to say anything else to upset her, "I love you . . . I think we are just all a little tired from studying."

"But, that doesn't make it right for you or your fucking friend to call me out. I am sorry if I am smarter than both of you." She shouted, but stopped when she realized what she just said.

"I can't believe you. I basically make the same fucking grades as you and you say this shit." Derek spat. He was trying to be nice, but that . . . it hurt.

"You just can't handle your girlfriend is smarter than you." She continued.

He took a deep breath . . . he knew the pressure of finals . . . it was way more intense then anything he ever had done in his undergraduate program and this was her first experience with it. She did take a final for her summer class, but that was one . . . she has a full load of them. He had to try and be patient. He was trying to keep his cool, which was HUGE for him.

They looked into each other's eyes . . . they were both exhausted. He quietly began, "You know what, Mer . . . I am so proud of you. I want you to be the best. You deserve to be the best . . ."

She noticed the look in his eyes . . . and realized he really didn't want to fight about this. She looked down to the ground and bit her lower lip, "It is just . . . my mom . . . and I have . . . I want to prove that I am good on my own, not because of who my mom is."

He took his hand on her chin and pulled her head up to look at him, "You are amazing . . . and you will be better than her. Dr. Lawrence thinks you will for sure. You have already proved yourself Mer."

"Dr. Lawrence talked to you? I don't even have him and he doesn't know me."

"Well, he knows you are my girlfriend, Alex's twin, and Ellis Grey's daughter. He just mentioned it in casual conversation."

"You didn't tell me? He is . . . one of the best." She responded knowing he would be a good professor to have on her side.

"He is . . . that is why I wanted to be his TA . . . I feel like I have so much to learn from him." 

"Yeah . . ." They stood in an uncomfortable silence.

"I need to get going . . . I will probably have to give his test for him, we have a lot to learn from him, but . . . he is still an ass."

She giggled and he breathed a sigh of relief, "He is . . . an ass . . . Derek . . . I am sorry. I did not mean . . . I just . . . this is the first thing I feel like I am really good at . . . and that I can be the best at . . . nothing else . . . am I good at. I don't really brag like that in front of anyone else and I don't know . . . I am sorry."

He gave her his mcdreamy smile, "I am sorry too and Mark . . . he cracks sometimes . . . you know he doesn't study as much as he should. He always ends up ok because he is almost a natural himself."

"I know . . . we all are just . . . this is so hard." She said resting her head on his chest.

"It is . . . but, we will make it through. Are you going home to study?" He kissed the top of her head.

"Yeah, I think so, maybe I will go to your apartment to study for a few hours. It seems the condo has become a place that everyone is congregates to study which is nice when we have questions, but sometimes . . . I just want to study alone or with . . . you." She smiled at him.

"I would love for you to go there . . . maybe we should take a nap for a few hours and then get up and study." He said thinking about their all-nighter last night.

"I think . . . I would love to." She pulled away a bit, and reached up to kiss his lips softly.

"I love you." She said with drained eyes.

"I love you too." He pulled her in tightly for a hug. He loved her so much and knew they would get through this week, but he also realized . . . they could have more spats similar to this one before it was all over.

-----------------------

Derek walked into his apartment to see Meredith sitting on his couch, unphased by the fact he just walked in . . . with a bottle of tequila and a shot glass sitting on his coffee table. He sighed looking at her . . . seeing how drained she was and she still had one test to go tomorrow which was Friday.

He sat his leather book satchel down, took off his shoes, and walked over to the couch where Meredith was sitting, still staring at the tequila bottle, "Mer . . . honey . . . are you ok?"

"I am. Tomorrow . . . I am downing this bottle." She was completely exhausted. Everyone on campus walked around like zombies.

He knew she had been pushing herself a little too hard to make the best grades and be at the top. "Ok." He said sitting beside her, putting his arm around her, kissing her on the temple. He was sure that was how much tequila was in the bottle the last time they had drank a little of it.

She finally looked at him, "I am exhausted and I need to study but I can't even see the words on the page. Today's test killed me."

"I am sorry. Just think, this time tomorrow we can relax together . . . for over a month." He was worn out and his face showed every bit of it, but was glad when he felt her relax a little in his arms.

She closed her eyes, "I can't wait."

"And Christmas in New York will be nice." He said. 

"WHAT?" She sat up quickly and looked at him.

" New York, we are going to go to New York for Christmas. Mark and I always go for Christmas and this year . . . you are coming too. It'll be fun." He said smiling at her thinking about everything they could do.

She looked at him in disbelief, "AND WHEN WERE YOU FUCKING GOING TO TELL ME?" She yelled and stood up abruptly.

Derek just sat there looking at her, unsure what he had done wrong. "Mer . . . I just assumed . . ." He said quietly.

"THAT WAS YOUR FIRST MISTAKE. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY WHEN YOU ASSUME SOMETHING . . . YOU MAKE AN ASS OUT OF YOURSELF." She continued to yell. She was so mad. She couldn't believe he would just assume . . .

He really had no idea what he had said to make her so upset. He really was at a lost for words.

She looked at him . . . she couldn't do this not right now, "I have to go and study . . . I will be at my condo and do not come tonight. I can't think about this and I can't even believe you would bring it up right this second."

"I didn't . . . I am sorry . . . I just thought . . . I will come study with you." He said desperately hoping she didn't . . . want to go . . . alone. They hadn't studied away from each other this week. They did study in different rooms occassionally, but they were always at the same place.

"No . . . I am studying by myself tonight." She said quietly, grabbing her things and headed towards the door. She stopped right before she turned the door knob to walk out. She slowly turned her head and looked at Derek . . . "I love you."

He quickly stood up and walked over to her, "I love you, too." He wanted to smile, but he . . . he couldn't right now.

She turned and walked out the door.

After a few hours of studying in their respective places, neither could shake their conversation.

Meredith couldn't believe Derek would just assume she would go with him . . . home . . . with his family. She had her own family . . . Bryant and the kids would need her . . . there was no way she could leave them, even if she did want to go to New York with Derek.

Derek sat at home . . . not able to even open a book. He wanted her to meet his family and he had never spent a Christmas without them. He didn't have any idea she wouldn't want to go with him. She just assumed she would come with him. It was their first Christmas together and Derek knew it would be the first of many. Christmas with his family was perfect . . . and New York in the winter is beautiful. He had thought of all of the things they could do together . . .

Meredith wanted to call him . . . she wanted him to come over . . . they had studied together and it was . . . wonderful to have him there. She was almost used to it.

She couldn't fight it anymore . . . she had to call. She slowly dialed his number and pressed send . . .

"Hello." He sadly picked up the phone knowing it was Meredith.

"I seem to not be able to study." She said trying to hold back the tears.

"I can't either." He sighed.

"So, I would like for you to . . . come over . . . I mean if you are able to and want to."

"Of course, I want to. I will see you ten minutes. Can I . . . I mean, can I bring my clothes and stay over?" They had stayed at one house or the other during the last week.

"Your clothes . . . bring them." She said knowing she couldn't sleep without him.

"I love you." He said hopeful.

"I love you, too."

He got his things together as quickly as he could and got over to her condo. The second he walked in he saw her sitting on the couch rubbing her eyes, "Mer . . ."

She stiffened not wanting him to see the tears coming down her face, "Hey there. I am . . ."

"Come here." He said quickly taking her in his arms on the couch. He wrapped her up, "I am sorry, Mer. We should talk though. But, maybe we should study today . . . and we can talk tomorrow."

"I want us . . . Derek, we need to figure this out . . . the holiday's. I do agree, we need to study today. But, promise me, we will work this out . . . compromise . . ."

"Absolutely. Study now, talk tomorrow . . . and honey, we will be fine . . ." Derek kissed her forehead. He knew they needed to talk, but also knew they needed to study for their final. He was relieved they were about done with this week. It had been a stressful one for all of them. Meredith and Derek had gotten into a few arguments over the week, but they were always able to discuss it and work it out. Derek had fought hard to control his temper a few times and had been successful thus far.

122


	62. A Date With Jose

"We made it . . ." She smiled excitedly walking out of her class seeing Derek waiting for her, leaning up against the wall across from where her class was. She melted anytime she saw him leaning.

He wrapped his arms around her and picked her up slightly. "We did and now . . . it is celebration time."

"A date with Jose . . . I can't wait." She giggled as he put her down to look at her.

"You would rather Jose over me? My feelings are hurt." He poked his lips out, pouting.

"Why can't I have both of you?" She raised her eyebrow with her lip curling upward.

"You can . . ." He didn't want to think about kissing her with the tequila on her breathe . . . not in the middle of the medical school building they were in . . . He loved when she was intoxicated . . . they had . . . many fun times.

"Go . . . we need to go." She whispered while their faces were dangerously close together.

"We do." He said taking her backpack and putting his arm around her shoulder.

They got in his car and they both knew they had some things to talk about, but wasn't sure when the best time would be. Meredith would have preferred to put it off another day, but it had been on both of their minds since it came up about Christmas yesterday.

"Your place . . . We are going to celebrate there, right?" Derek asked wondering what the plans were. There had been talk of a party at Meredith's tonight for a celebration of the end of finals.

"Derek . . . I am not sure if . . . I mean, I want to celebrate, but I am not sure if . . . I mean, I would rather something a little more low-key. Maybe we can just go out with Mark, Izzie, and Alex. I bet he can find someone to go with him and do more of a normal couple-y thing with couples." She stopped to take a breath.

Derek laughed, "You are rambling . . . are you ok?"

Meredith sighed knowing they needed to talk and was trying not to avoid it. "Yeah . . . I am fine, but Derek . . . we need to . . ." She stopped.

"Talk . . . we do. Let's go to my place, talk, and then, get ready to go. Why don't you call Izzie and Alex and see if we can have dinner. We can either go out to dinner or cook something. But, we do need to talk . . . when we get home."

She smiled at him, knowing everything would be fine, "Sounds like a plan."

Meredith pulled out her cell phone and called Izzie first. They were all on board and said either was fine, but they didn't want Derek to have to cook.

"Hey there . . . I figured you would be relieving stress with Derek." Alex said laughing, answering his phone a little surprised to hear from her.

"Yeah, yeah . . . I was actually calling . . . I know you have some things in the works for a celebration of some sorts, but I was thinking . . . I would like to do something more on the down low. We haven't decided exactly what we are going to do, but I know Mark and Izzie are going to have dinner with us and we would love for you to come. We even have a girl in mind . . ."

"Toots . . . First of all, never have a girl in mind for me. . . I always have one in mind although I appreciate your concern for me." He said sarcastically. "Secondly, I am going to celebrate . . . the Alex Grey way."

Meredith could tell he was smirking on the phone, "The Alex Grey way, huh . . . Well, I hope you have fun and be careful . . . Try to stick with just one girl . . ." She laughed.

"Yeah, I think . . . I may have to give Christine a call . . . French maid was good . . . really good . . . so, I think another night with her would be just the celebration I need."

"Have fun with that Speedo and remember . . . no glove, no love." She laughed.

"You are funny Toots . . . using my line on me."

"Don't forget we are all having dinner together tomorrow night at Bryant's. Derek and I are bringing desert."

"See ya then, Toots, love ya."

"Back at ya Speedo." She laughed, hanging up the phone.

Derek and Meredith drove in silence back to Derek's apartment knowing they had the talk to get to . . . They both knew it would be fine . . . but, knew it would be compromising on both parts.

"Do you want me to fix you . . . a few shots of tequila?" Derek asked grabbing a beer for himself out of his refrigerator.

"Just one. Talk . . . we need to talk and . . . one shot." She said nervously.

Derek knew she wanted to keep her mind clear, but needed something to relax her when talking . . . about this big thing. He poured her shot and handed it to her, "So . . ."

"Yeah." Neither of them knew exactly where to start. Meredith tipped her head back, expertly downing the shot and decided to continue, "You assumed I would just . . . go with you. You didn't even stop to think about things, you just assumed."

He breathed heavily, "I thought you would want to go with me."

"No, Derek . . . I don't want to . . . well . . . My family . . . I have a family I will spend Christmas with and that family needs me more than ever this year . . . that is why I don't want to . . . because really . . . " She was talking a little more loudly knowing she wanted to go . . . but, just couldn't.

It hurt . . . when she said she didn't want to go, "Meredith, It is our first Christmas . . . the first of . . . a lifetime I hope." He stopped to look into her eyes because this statement was big. They had casually mentioned a lifetime together, but, this was a little more serious.

"Yeah . . . a lifetime. . . It is our first Christmas and I . . . want to be with you. But, you have to understand . . . I just can't leave. Bryant and the kids . . . have been through so much." This was hard for Meredith. She wanted to be with Derek, but she couldn't just leave her family, not this year.

"Mer, I do understand you can't just leave. I just . . . I have never spent a Christmas away from my family . . . ever and I am not sure I can." He sighed. He wanted to be with her, more than anything, but he knew it would be the hardest thing ever . . . not to be with his family. He knew Mark would go and had even talked about taking Izzie.

"Then, we spend a lifetime of them together, but not this one." She broke the intense stare between her and Derek as she was feeling the tears coming.

"I don't . . . know." He shook his head. He just didn't know how he could be away from her. He also didn't know how he could not be home with his family.

"What?"

"This is . . . Mer . . . I love you so much."

She looked back at him, "I love you too and it is ok . . . we have gone this many Christmas's without each other and really, I hate it . . . just another holiday for me to remember how much Alex, Bryant, and I have always been on our own. No traditions or anything like that. We didn't have Santa Claus come. Mom told us there was money put in our trust funds. She always thought toys . . . were for kids and we had to be . . . older . . . or act older."

This actually made Derek's stomach curl. It has always been just them and Ellis . . . she always expected so much of them, even as children. This cut right through Derek. He wanted to give her traditions . . . and memories. He thought for a second about them . . . and having children with this woman . . . this amazing woman that he loved more than anything. She deserved so much and he wanted to give it to her, "Oh Mer." This was all he could say trying not to let the tears fall as they were so easily falling down her face.

"It is ok . . . really. We now have Bryant's kids and playing Santa is fun. Seeing their faces light up . . . is fun even if it is at 4 in the morning right after all of the presents have been put out. I actually . . . I hated Christmas until Marissa got old enough to understand it." A small smile was forming on her lips as she looked over at Derek.

He took his thumb and wiped the tears that had fallen down her face and smiled at her, "Yeah . . . the nieces and nephews are fun to watch. It is a real joy seeing them."

"You have a ton of them. It must be a zoo." She laughed.

"It is . . . and one day . . . I hope you can see it." He said not even thinking. He did want her with him.

She looked at him, "One day, I want to . . . I really do. But, Derek, please . . ."

"Come here." He held his arms out to wrap her up tightly in his arms.

She stayed there . . . in his arms. She wanted to be with him, more than anything.

He wanted to be with her . . . more than anything . . .

Both of them felt like they had to be with their families. This was definitely one of the hardest decisions either of them has ever had to make.

"Mer, let's rest for a few hours before going to dinner." He said pulling away slightly to look at her.

"I think we both need it. We look like shit." She let out a small giggle before taking a sip of his beer.

"Hey . . . you wanted tequila, remember." He smiled at her, needing to lighten the air.

"Yeah . . . you love it though." She giggled a little more, taking another sip.

"I will share anything with you, my love." He hugged her tightly.

She stopped and looked into his eyes, "I love you and . . . we can celebrate maybe after Christmas or something. Maybe . . . I could fly to New York the day after Christmas. I mean . . . I guess . . . I have to meet your family . . . sometime." This scared the hell out of her.

His smile went from ear to ear . . . his heart bursting for love for her, "You do have to meet them and they will . . . love you. I love you." He pulled out of the hug and grabbed her hand, leading her to his bedroom where they made sweet love before resting for a few hours before their dinner plans with Mark and Izzie.

"Derek . . . Meredith?" Mark yelled when he walked into the apartment, not wanting to just barge in on whatever may be going on. They had decided that Mark and Izzie would come to the apartment so they could ride to the restaurant together. 

He didn't hear anything, so he and Izzie proceeded into the apartment. Mark called and got them dinner reservations at one of the top restaurants in town, Compass and assumed Meredith and Derek would be ready and waiting for them.

"Where are they?" Izzie asked seeing everything turned off and quiet.

Mark walked back to Derek's room and smirked seeing them tangled in the sheets . . . both naked, but covered in the right places. "Figures . . . do you two ever wear clothes?"

Izzie caught up to Mark and looked in, "MARK!" Izzie yelled and closed the door quickly, "I can't believe you." She then tried to say in a hushed tone.

"I think . . . Mark is here." Derek smiled in a sleepy slumber before kissing Meredith and rubbing her leg that was over his body.

"Yeah . . . what time is it? How long have we been asleep?" She asked not able to open her eyes, but felt Derek kiss her again, this time lingering at her lips a little longer.

"Probably time to go . . . to dinner."

"Sleep, I think we need to sleep."

"Come on sleepy head . . . we are going to have over a month until classes start again to sleep and do . . . fun things."

"I say we stay naked the entire time." She smiled opening her eyes to look into his.

"I like that plan, but right now . . . dinner . . . you need to be fed."

"Yes, I do." She looked over his shoulder to see the time, "Holy shit, Derek, we need to get up. We only have 45 minutes until our reservation."

"Now, you figure that out." Mark yelled from the hallway walking by putting on a clean shirt.

Derek and Meredith both got up and quickly got ready to go. They had decided on dressing up a little to celebrate; nothing too fancy, but the girls wore dresses that accentuated every curve. The boys decided on nice slacks and shirts.

They ordered drinks and appetizers. They wanted to relax and enjoy the evening out. The last time any of them had any real fun was Halloween.

Meredith and Derek both noticed that Izzie seemed to be overly excited, "So, Izzie . . . are you glad finals are over."

Izzie looked at Mark, she knew she had been talking a lot and was being . . . Izzie to the extreme, but she was so happy she couldn't take it, "I am . . . but, I am more excited about . . . well, Mark asked me to go home with him for Christmas and meet the family. I am so excited it will be the four of us."

Meredith just closed her eyes and Derek started coughing.

Izzie looked at Mark, unsure if she said something wrong and he just shrugged his shoulders, unsure what was going on. He and Derek talked about their plans for both girls to go home with them for a week or so.

"I am sorry . . . did I say something wrong?" Izzie said with concern.

Derek took Meredith's hand, "Mer . . . she is staying here and will join us the day after Christmas." He said calmly.

She opened her eyes not wanting tears to fall. She really wanted to be with them. "Excuse me, I need to . . . bathroom."

Derek sighed, watching her leave.

"I will go." Izzie got up from the table to follow her.

Mark waited a few seconds before saying anything. He could tell Derek was stressed about this because he had already run his hand through his hair twice in a matter of seconds, "Shep . . . you really are going to let her stay here for Christmas?" 

"I don't have a choice. Bryant and the kids . . . they need her . . . this Christmas more than ever." He said reluctantly.

"Christmas, Shep . . . your favorite holiday." Mark said.

"Please, don't remind me. I don't know how I can do it . . . without her."

"Don't."

Derek looked up at him, "I have to. I have never spent a Christmas without my family."

"They love you, but Meredith . . . she is your future . . . your everything." Mark paused when Derek looked up at him and both of them smirked, "God, I am turning into you."

They both laughed, "She is . . . my everything. I have never . . . Mark, they will hate me if I don't go."

"You will be miserable there without her. And Shep, she . . . she hasn't had the family you were fortunate to have and I was fortunate enough to inherit. She does need to be with her family . . . and you."

"Izzie is really rubbing off on you." Derek smiled, but feeling more conflicted really thinking about what Mark just said. He will be miserable without her on Christmas morning.

"We are back." Izzie said looking at Meredith who had obviously shed a few tears.

The second she sat down, Derek took her hand, leaned over and said in her ear, "I love you."

She smiled at him, "I love you too." She really did and had no idea why she got so upset. They had already decided what they were doing for Christmas. But, she really wanted to go with him; she knew she would be miserable Christmas morning without him.

125


	63. Perfect Night

Derek and Meredith had enjoyed their last few days together since the end of finals. They spent almost every waking moment together . . . hanging out and just be with each other. They haven't really had this opportunity since they have been together, there was always school or racing. They had been together now for about four months now and it was nice . . . really nice. 

Meredith never thought she was capable of this . . . to be this happy. But, she was. They didn't talk about Christmas, both a little sad, but she needed to know what they were going to do about presents. She had no idea what to get him . . . she had never really bought a present for a boyfriend at Christmas.

They were getting ready to go out for a while today. It was cool today, so they knew they needed sweaters.

"Are you about ready, honey?" Derek smiled watching her brush her hair in her bathroom. It seemed they had the condo to themselves most of the time as well as Derek's apartment. Mark was at Izzie's most of the time, Alex pretty much moved in with Bryant for the time being, and Cristina, who the hell knew what was going on with her. She stayed at the condo about twice a week.

"Did you honey me?" She giggled.

"I did . . . you love it." He walked closer to her and leaned up against the door frame.

"Don't lean . . . you can't lean because we won't leave . . . we will not make it past the bed."

"You can't resist me?" He had that smile on his face . . . the one she just couldn't resist.

"You are a cocky ass." She smiled.

"And you LOVE it."

"You are sure of yourself." She giggled.

He moved to wrap his hands around her. "I am sure . . . I love you." He said near her ear, placing kisses on it.

"Oh . . . Derek . . . going . . . we need to get going." She knew they had some shopping to do. They were getting Christmas presents for her family and his family.

"We do." He pulled back and watched her . . . mesmerized by her.

She finished getting ready and they headed out for the day . . . They had decided trying to go to the mall on a weekday would be much easier than the weekend. Meredith knew what to get for the kids and was even helping Bryant out by getting Santa gifts as well. He hated fighting with the crowds, shopping for Christmas and knew Meredith and Derek wouldn't mind. Alex didn't mind doing it, but would rather let Meredith do it.

"I think we need to make a trip to the car. We are loaded down and we can't carry anymore." Derek suggested.

"Ok . . . sounds good." 

As they made their way back into the mall after dropping the first load in the car, "Derek . . . I have no idea what to get you for Christmas." She had been trying to find a time to talk to him about it.

He looked at her, "Mer . . . nothing . . . I don't need anything. Really."

"I knew you would say that. I bet you know what you are getting me . . . you probably have the perfect present." She sighed.

"I do." He smirked. He had thought about it for a few days now after dinner the other night. It was a really hard decision, but after talking to Mark . . . he knew he had to do it.

"Tell me . . ." She giggled looking up at him.

"No, but, I promise . . . you will love it." He leaned down and kissed her while they walked in the store. He wanted to tell her so bad . . . but, he couldn't . . . he knew he couldn't.

She quickly got a sad look, "I just wish . . ." She stopped knowing she didn't need to go there. She was flying out the day after Christmas, she already had her airline ticket.

He just smiled; he was bursting at the seams to tell her, but didn't want to ruin the surprise, but he couldn't not tell her, "I am staying here and we are both flying out . . . the day after . . . or that afternoon if you want."

She stopped and looked at him, "Derek . . ."

He smiled knowing she would be surprised.

"Serious . . . you are being serious." She said in awe. She was so excited she jumped into his arms and he supported her.

"I take it you like your present." He laughed.

"Derek . . . I love it and . . . I love you." She kissed him again so excited they were really going to spend Christmas together.

She then looked up at him though remembering . . . what he was giving up, "Your family . . ."

"You . . . are my family. They understand; I have already talked to them. Well, Mark talked to them before I got a chance. He and Izzie are going ahead a few days before Christmas and we will meet them there."

"You are really ok with this? Not being with them, I mean . . . they are your family and me . . . I haven't known you that long. We are just . . . you are just my boyfriend." She rambled on nervously not wanting to be the reason he didn't spend Christmas with his family.

He looked at her . . . with the most adoring eyes ever, "Mer . . . I am more than your boyfriend . . . we both know that. I love you more than anything and there is no where I would rather be on Christmas morning than snuggling with you, watching your niece and nephews after my Christmas morning sex." He raised his eyebrows as she giggled. He continued, "So, no more . . . we are spending Christmas with my family . . . just a day late. They do really understand and my mother can't wait to meet you." He kissed her seeing the tears coming to her eyes.

"I love you . . . so much." She said as he wiped the few tears that were falling.

They stood there for a few seconds before he grabbed her hand, "We have Christmas presents to buy."

"We do." She smiled at him, "And Derek, Christmas sex . . . definitely going to happen." She giggled.

"My whole reason for staying here." He laughed and she shook her head both knowing this was one of many reasons they were going to spend it together.

They walked hand in hand in the mall . . . buying all of their Christmas presents for her family and his family. Neither of them could remember being this happy . . . ever.

"Do you have everything?" Meredith said a little panicky in the car right before they got to Bryant's.

"I have everything, dear." He had no idea that Meredith would get like this for Christmas. It was Christmas Eve and Bryant had hidden all of the Santa Claus gifts at the condo. The second the kids went to bed tonight, they would go to the car and get out all of the Santa gifts.

They got over to Bryant's around 4:30 pm. They decided they were going to open their gifts Christmas Eve night since Derek and Meredith had decided to leave Christmas day, their flight left at 1pm, arriving in New York at 5:45pm. 

"Derek . . . did you get the present's for tonight?" She asked looking in the back of her car.

"Yes . . . they are right near the back. I will come and get them."

They both just stared at the open trunk and busted laughing.

"We have a million things back here." He loved Christmas and it was like they were going to his family's house with all of the presents for just a few people, tonight was nothing like what they would experience tomorrow night at his families house.

"They will love it though. Even though I was away at school, I always made it for Christmas. They love it . . . the kids love it."

"They do and I am glad I am here. I really am." He said pulling her in tightly and enjoying their few more minutes alone. He knew the next week would be hectic for them.

"Thank you Derek . . . I love you." She said into his chest.

They stood there about a minute before they heard Alex come out, "Do you guys need help?"

Derek backed up to address Alex, "I think . . . we went overboard."

"Yeah, Toots tends to go overboard." He said getting to the car.

"Most of this is NOT mine . . . it is Santa." She defensively said.

Derek leaned down and kissed her head before they all loaded up their arms, "You love it all . . ."

"I love getting my nieces and nephews things and Alex is just as bad." She said looking to her twin who was smiling, knowing it was true.

"And you guys love it." Derek smiled at them giving them both things to carry in.

"We do." Alex said before turning around to head in.

Everyone was really excited and bustling around to get ready for the evening. It had been decided Derek was going to do most of the cooking with the other adults helping out. They had decided on cooking a rack of lamb with mashed potatoes, sting bean bundles, acorn squash, and fresh rolls. For desert, they decided on a chocolate mousse.

Derek started dinner, Alex made the eggnog, and Meredith . . . she was talking to Marissa. They had really grown close and she always had questions for her.

------

"That was delicious. I am glad I have a boyfriend that cooks." Meredith said licking her lips from the desert.

"It was and I am lucky to have a girlfriend who likes to eat." Derek stood behind her at the sink with his arms wrapped around her and his face nuzzled on her shoulder.

"Cut it out. It is time to open presents." Marissa smiled when she came into the kitchen to put her cup in the dishwasher.

"One day . . . you will have your boyfriend for Christmas and we will . . . remind you to cut it out." Meredith looked down at her niece as Derek pulled away slightly.

"No, No boyfriends and don't egg her on." They heard Bryant say loudly in the dining room clearing off the table.

Marissa rolled her eyes, "Daddy, I will date one day."

"No, no way . . . you are daddy's little girl." He replied coming into the kitchen.

"I will always be your . . . well, not little girl . . . but, you will always be my daddy . . . I love you, but seriously . . . I will date." She demanded.

Bryant looked too Meredith. He knew she would date and that time is coming . . . She was starting to talk about boys and it scared the hell out of Bryant. Meredith gave Bryant the look. They had talked a few times in the last few weeks about Marissa and that he has to let go a little. He was just so scared . . . that she would walk out on him as well.

Bryant sighed walking over to his little girl, as much as she denied this, she was still his little girl, "I love you sweetheart. I just hope . . . when you do find someone, they respect you and . . . treat you the way you deserve." He hugged her tightly.

"Seriously, daddy . . . you think I would settle for less?" She looked up at him. This was a conversation she and Meredith actually had a few weeks ago.

He laughed, "I should know better and seriously . . . Maybe you need to stop hanging out with your aunt so much . . . seriously." Bryant loved how his daughter was using the word that was Meredith's and loved that his sister was there. Marissa . . . loved her so much.

"Ok . . . daddy . . . you are smushing me and it is time for presents. I know what Aunt Mer got Derek." She smiled. She was with Meredith when she picked it up.

Derek's face lit up, "I definitely think it is time." He enthusiastically said. This was so different from his family Christmas . . . it was so much more . . . intimate.

"Well, come on . . . Uncle Der . . . I mean . . . Mr. Derek." Marissa said. She saw him as her uncle and knew it would happen eventually. She asked her aunt about it during one of their recent shopping trips for Christmas presents and she said one day . . . he would be her uncle.

Derek looked to Meredith to see her reaction to Marissa's slip up. Meredith grinned and pulled her hand out, "Let's get to the living room, shall we? We have presents to open."

He took her hand in and pulled her into him while he noticed the others leave the kitchen. "I love you, Meredith Grey and I am so happy to be here and one day . . . I will be . . . their uncle."

"I am happy you are here . . . and . . . I hope one day . . . you will be their uncle . . . I love you." She looked into his eyes that held all of the love for her.

He took her in and whispered into her ear, "And hopefully there will be a present waiting to be unwrapped in the morning . . . in the guest bed we are sleeping in over here."

She smirked, "I think . . . there will definitely be something for you to unwrap in the morning . . . something that is only for your eyes." She said in her sexy voice.

"Let's get in there or . . . I may be unwrapping now." He pulled back slightly with a sexy grin on his face, knowing they were both flushed.

"Yes . . . we should." She smiled and they walked out hand in hand into the living room. This was the way it should be . . . they both knew it. He only hoped this time tomorrow night, things were ok. His family was great, but Meredith was used to the small, quiet family. His family . . . was the exact opposite of that.

127


	64. Unwrapping

Last night . . . was perfect . . . They were together . . . watching her family open up presents. Meredith loved spending every second with Derek. Seeing his face light up when he opened his present . . . a matching helmet to hers saying, Giant Granadilla. Marissa then had to tell the story of when they picked it up and she wanted to know what Giant Granadilla meant and Meredith told her it was a fruit. Marissa didn't really understand why a fruit would be on his helmet, but she explained she had Sweet Cup on hers, a type of passion fruit. Then, Marissa got very animated and said . . . it was the biggest passion fruit because she looked it up on the internet. Alex and Bryant both just laughed and Derek turned the deep shade of red that was on his helmet. Meredith matched the colors, except reversing them so that the orange started at the bottom of the helmet and faded up to the deep red at the crown. 

He had gotten her one present here . . . and said she gets more when they get to New York . . . little did Derek know, he had more as well. But, the one he had for her last night was a weekend spa getaway . . . it was her present, but of course, it was for two. She didn't care though, she loved the thought of them going together and . . . getting the spa treatment.

She laid there . . . it was Christmas morning and was thankful she didn't hear the kids up yet. She rolled over and noticed it was 6:15am and wasn't sure why she was awake. They stayed up late putting out the Santa presents and having more eggnog than they should have, but it was fun and the adults were able to relax and enjoy each other's company.

She looked at Derek . . . he was perfect in every way. His curls were all over the place on the pillow, and his mouth was open just a tad bit. She promised him . . . a Christmas present to unwrap first thing. She knew the kids would be getting up at any time.

She had a special Santa bra and panties outfit that she thought she would put on . . . for fun. Derek wasn't necessarily a lingerie type of man, but she saw it the 'outfit' in Macy's and had to have it.

[IMGhttp://i157. quietly got up and was able to put it on without waking Derek up. She crawled back into bed and started nibbling on his ear a little.

She then started running her gloved hands down his unclothed body. He moaned . . .

"It is time to unwrap your Christmas morning present." She seductively said in his ear.

He sleepily smiled, but kept his eyes closed for a few more seconds before saying, "I am ready." He opened his eyes and noticed she had sat back a little on the bed smiling seductively at him.

"Oh god . . . Mer . . . you look . . . you are my naughty Mrs. Claus."

"I am . . . ready to let you unwrap me." She lay back on the bed . . . letting him . . . take total control.

He went from being in a deep slumber to being completely ready to take . . . his present that was graciously waiting for him . . . but, he wanted to take it slow and deep . . . this was the first of many Christmas morning gift's for them. He just looked into her eyes for a few seconds before dipping his head to kiss her lips . . . the sweet lips that always had the perfect taste . . . a taste he couldn't seem to get enough of.

His mouth found every part of her body . . . that was exposed. He wanted to take his time with her this morning. His hands rubbed any part of her that his mouth wasn't on. "Mer . . . you are . . . perfect."

"Derek . . . I need you."

"Not yet . . . let me . . . unwrap slowly." He smirked using his hands to go underneath her bra to cup her breasts . . . giving them a squeeze causing her to moan loudly. His lips quickly went to hers, "Quiet . . . you have to be quiet . . . little ears."

"Don't do that too me . . . oh god . . ." She moaned into his mouth as he laid his cock down on her lower abdomen.

He loved this . . . but knew they would get loud quick. His hands quickly worked to get her thong off of her, keeping her bra on and the gloves. He wanted her breasts in his mouth, but knew . . . that would drive her to be loud . . . very loud.

He wanted to know if she was ready . . . the second her thong was thrown somewhere around the room, his mouth was immediately on her wet lips . . . "perfect." He breathed into her heated core.

"Derek . . . oh shit." She was so ready for him.

His tongue licked the places that he had learned were hot spots for her.

"Fuck . . . you are . . . your tongue . . . magic." She quickly took a pillow and put over her mouth because she knew she may be letting out a scream at any time. She wasn't quiet . . . neither of them were.

He knew she was getting close, but he wanted them to reach their peak together. They both felt an amazing connection when they did . . . and this was one of those special times. His mouth found hers . . . she loved to kiss him after he had his mouth on her most intimate of places.

He was more than ready and moved his thick cock into place. Before he entered her, his tip could felt he heat . . . "Mer . . . this is . . . you are . . . god I love you." He entered her at the same time and both of them moaned a little louder than either needed to.

She pulled him down to her to kiss him, to keep their noise down and contain it into the other's mouth.

He thrust in and out of her, slowly, keeping eye contact with her the entire time. 

"Fuck Mer . . . I am already close . . . cum with me." He breathed in her ear.

"I am . . . oh god . . ." She could feel her walls tightening the second Derek could feel himself unable to hold back any longer.

"That was . . . Thank you for my present this morning." Derek said a few minutes after lying on top of her, neither wanting to move.

"You are welcome. I love you Derek, but . . . you are starting to squish me."

They both laughed and he rolled over beside her and continued to look in her eyes, "We should . . . I mean, I wonder if anyone is awake?"

"Let's . . ." She was interrupted when she heard, "Santa came . . . he was here." From what sounded like one of the boys.

"That answers our question." Derek laughed, kissing Mer's nose before starting to get out of bed.

He noticed she was still laying looking up at him, smiling. "What?" He asked.

"I really love you and we are going to meet your family today." She was trying to not be nervous, but it was hard.

"You are and they will love you as much as I do . . . and your brothers and niece and nephew do." He bent down to kiss her again, "Get your ass out of bed and get dressed . . ." He laughed.

"Yes, sir. . ." She giggled before slapping his bare ass playfully as she got up.

They were both so happy . . . their first Christmas . . . first Christmas morning sex . . . their first of many things . . . and they both hoped . . . this would be . . . forever.

----------

He looked over at Meredith and noticed the once relaxed look she had disappeared and instead saw the nervous, worried look he had not seen recently. He took her hand, "Mer . . . you will be great. My family will love you."

Meredith started to feel nervous the second their plane touched down in New York. She got a little impatient with the clerk at the rent-a-car place and was fumbling a little with her luggage, but Derek just smiled and helped her along the way. "Derek . . . they are . . . big . . . and my family is small and I am just not . . . sure. I am not sure I can even remember your sister's names, much less all of the nieces and nephews."

"I can hardly remember them all. But, you are . . . you are great with your niece and nephews."

"Exactly, there are 3 of them . . . 1 niece and 2 nephews . . . I am good with 3, not fifty." 

He was trying not to laugh because he knew they would be great with her and vice versa; he also knew they wouldn't expect her to know all of the names of the family members. "There aren't fifty . . . just enough for a football team and substitutes." He laughed.

"Oh god." She put her head in her hands.

"Now, you can't say that . . . you were saying that about two hours ago a mile up." He looked at her suggestively.

"Derek . . . seriously . . . you bring that up when I am completely freaking out."

"Well, I was happy to join the club, weren't you? I think we will need to renew our membership on any flight we are on. It is a requirement I think." He was doing everything he could to lighten the mood and get her mind off of meeting his family and this . . . was something they were definitely good at.

"Oh yeah – I have never heard of that. Once you are in . . . you are in." She laughed a little which made Derek smile.

"Nope . . . we will have to renew." He said emphatically.

"We will see about that . . . and speaking of sex . . . no sex in your mom's house."

He noticed she immediately got stiff again. "What?" He asked a little worriedly.

"You heard me mister! We can't keep quiet and NO WAY do I want your family to hear . . . us."

"You are the loud one." He grinned at her.

"No . . . you have that completely wrong. I know just how to make you . . ."

"Ok, enough . . . before I pull the car over before we get there just to prove to you . . . who is the loud one."

Meredith sharply looked at him . . . thinking about this made her body temperature instantly rise a few notches she was sure. "Let's just . . . um . . . drive. I am sure we are almost there."

He smiled knowing he had gotten to her. Little does he know . . . she just gave him a challenge . . . of sex in his mother's house, in his childhood room. "Yeah . . . we are almost there." He grabbed her hand and quickly glanced to her and then back to the house they were pulling up to.

"Derek . . . this is beautiful." She was in awe looking up at the house. It looked perfect. Even from the outside she knew this house was completely different from the one she grew up in with her brothers. Hers was very formal . . . everything about it was formal. This house . . . was a home . . . and amazing.

"Home . . . Let's just go in and I will come out later and get our suitcases and presents and everything." Derek suggested.

"Yeah . . . I guess that would be best." She bit her lip.

They both got out of the car and Derek quickly joined her, grabbing her hand securely. They walked up to the door and right before they got to the door, Meredith stopped, "Please don't leave me alone . . . I mean . . . stay with me tonight while we are . . . or I am meeting the fifty nieces and nephews."

He cocked his head and smiled, "Not fifty, and I wouldn't dream of leaving your side, but you do know Mark and Izzie. She has told you about the family."

Meredith couldn't help but giggle a little, "Yes, she did . . . she fits right in it sounds like."

"And you will too, although I think you will love Carrie the most . . . I mean, you kind of met her, but she is . . . she is more like you I think and she is my favorite."

"You shouldn't have favorites." She laughed.

"She and I have always been close. She is only 2 years younger than me. Are you ready?" He asked keeping direct eye contact.

She nodded and gave a hint of a smile, "I think so."

He bent down and kissed her softly, "I love you and they will love you."

"I love you and . . . I am glad I am here . . . meeting your family." This . . . was perfect. She was truly happy to be here with him . . . doesn't mean she isn't scared as hell to meet them, but this . . . she had a feeling . . . they could be her extended family one day.

129


	65. Meeting Them

"We are here." Derek opened the door knowing his mother wouldn't want him to knock and wait for the door to be opened. 

Meredith was shocked Derek just walked in. Her mother would have died if she just walked in her house like that without knocking or anything. She tried to take in the sight before her. She could see people . . . not too many yet . . . but she knew they would be coming out in droves.

One woman stepped all of the way to them, "Welcome home son." Caroline Shepherd gave her son a hug but quickly releasing him to take a look at the woman she has heard so much about.

"Mom . . . this is . . . Meredith Grey, my girlfriend." He proudly introduced her. He had brought girlfriend's home before, but this one . . . it was . . . the big one and they all knew it.

Meredith extended her hand, "Hello, Mrs. Shepherd. Thank you so much for having me."

Mrs. Shepherd smiled at her, "Honey . . . we hug around here." She said sincerely and embraced Meredith warmly.

She let go of Derek's hand in order to hug Mrs. Shepherd. This was something Meredith definitely wasn't used to, but oddly, it felt . . . kind of nice.

Mrs. Shepherd stepped back, "Meredith . . . call me mom. Anyone who stays in my house for more than dinner . . . calls me mom." She smiled affectionately.

Derek felt a strong hand on his shoulder, "Well, well, well, you two finally made it . . . I knew you two would stop off before you got here . . . can't contain yourselves. I bet you joined the club." He smirked.

Derek shot a glance to Mark then quickly looked to Meredith who was already turning at least 3 shades of red, "Mark . . . it sure is nice to see you." Derek said clutching his teeth together.

"Oh Derek . . . I may be getting older, but I am not stupid. You two are young . . . and healthy . . . and we have been hearing Mark for the last two nights." Mrs. Shepherd walked off laughing.

Mark's mouth fell and Derek stood smirking at him. Meredith had no idea what to think. "So . . . you and Izzie . . . in the house." Derek raised his eyebrows.

"What can I say? She is . . . I can't keep my damn hands off of her, but she is going to be so embarrassed when I tell her . . . mom heard. She actually said no sex while we were here and that was out the window in a few hours. I am irresistible."

Derek smirked at Meredith, "Yeah, Mer seems to think we can do it . . . no sex." 

"No sex for who?" They heard a voice unfamiliar to Meredith who was mortified that within five minutes, they were having this conversation.

"Carrie . . ." Derek hugged his sister, "You remember Meredith."

"It was a quick introduction at the track that night, but, yes . . . I do remember . . . but, at the time, I think . . . you guys definitely were not in the place to be coming home to meet the huge, scary family." Carrie laughed, looking at Meredith.

"No, we weren't . . . I thought you were . . . well, it doesn't really matter. It is good to see you again." Meredith smiled instantly feeling comfortable with Carrie. Something about her was very relaxed. She hated that she initially thought Carrie was . . . another woman that Derek was seeing or something.

Derek could sense Meredith was feeling more at ease . . . he could see it in her body language. "So, let's get in and meet . . . the family."

He put his arm snuggly around Meredith and whispered in her ear, "You are amazing."

"We will talk later, Meredith . . . the stories I could tell you about Derbear here . . ." Carrie smirked at Derek before walking into the kitchen to help her mother with dinner.

"Don't you dare!" Derek yelled playfully.

Meredith smiled, "I want to know . . . stories."

"Oh . . . god, Izzie has been hearing them for 3 straight days now about me. She is already turning into a Shepherd sister . . . and I haven't even . . . she isn't one." Mark didn't think . . . a Shepherd sister. He wasn't blood related to them, but he was as good as a Shepherd child as any and Izzie . . . she would be an adopted Shepherd sister . . . eventually.

"She loves it here with them." Meredith smiled at Mark. She had talked to Izzie a few times on the phone since she had been in New York. 

"She does . . . and they are ready to meet you. They have grilled both Izzie and I about you two." Mark smirked.

"And what might you have told them?" Derek asked.

Before Derek could say anything else, another woman who Meredith assumed to be another sister walked in to the foyer, "You guys see each other all of the time . . . we want to meet this amazing woman you have told us all about."

It was Derek's time to turn a little red. He couldn't help but talk about how amazing she was to anyone who would listen, "We are making the rounds to everyone . . . but, Kathleen . . . Meredith . . . this is Meredith. Mer . . . this is my oldest sister Kathleen."

"Hello, Meredith . . . it is nice to meet you. I have 5 kids running around here with the oldest being 15 . . . I can't believe I have a 15 year old. My husband is . . . outside playing football with the boys . . . boys will be boys."

Meredith couldn't believe how nice they all were to her, but they were Derek's family and he was . . . pretty great. "It must be nice to have a house full of kids." Meredith knew this woman lit up when she mentioned her kids.

"It is the best gift ever. Now, there are some other Shepherd sisters who want to meet you. We have to meet the woman that has our little brother so captivated." Kathleen smiled at Meredith and then at Derek. She noticed Derek's hand stroking Meredith's the entire time. She also noticed the way they looked at each other . . . they were two people in love. This wasn't as shocking though as Mark . . . he had found the woman to tame him and they were all surprised.

Meredith stood in the middle of a room with what seemed like a million people. She was nervous as hell and was freaking out on the inside, but on the outside, she appeared to be confident and strong. This was one of the positive things about having Ellis Grey as a mother. She always told Meredith to appear confident even if she was not feeling like it. All of the Grey's were good at it.

Derek was by her side, holding her hand tightly the entire time. He knew her . . . and knew she was freaking out, but also knew no one else in the room realized it. She was good at this . . . holding it together. He imagined her mother was exactly the same way, but he hadn't met her yet. Meredith kept saying she would come into town sooner or later, announced or unannounced . . . they never knew.

"Meredith . . ."

Meredith almost cringed when she heard her name shrieked. "Izzie."

Izzie hugged her quickly, "Mer . . . Have you met all of the sisters and their families? They are all so wonderful."

Derek and Meredith both were trying to hold back their laughter. Izzie was perky . . . and generally a happy person, but this . . . it was like she was on drugs. "Oh . . . I am . . . met Mrs. Shepherd, Carrie, and . . ." She looked to Derek, "Kathleen . . ." She remembered, thankfully.

"Mom is great . . . isn't she? She did tell you to call her mom, didn't she?" Izzie asked a little concerned.

"Yes, she did." Meredith replied.

"Hey Izzie . . . why don't you . . . I bet Mom needs help in the kitchen." Meredith was thankful to see a woman who was surely another one of Derek's sisters.

"Oh . . . Yeah . . . I have to finish the desert." She bounced off to the kitchen.

"She is . . . one of a kind. We never thought Mark would bring someone like her home, but he really does adore her . . . in a un-Mark way . . . and hello, I am Laura." She smiled, noticing she had the same eyes greenish eyes as her mother and looked much more like Caroline than the other two sisters and Derek.

Meredith giggled at hearing Laura talk about Izzie. Meredith really enjoyed Izzie, but she figured holiday's . . . Izzie was like a person on drugs, "She is . . . happy to be here I think. And . . . hello, I am Meredith . . . Meredith Grey." She stuck out her hand confidently, but, could feel the nervousness running up her arm on the inside.

"We are so glad to finally meet you. I am sure you can imagine we have heard tons about you . . . not just from Derek, but Izzie and Mark. Of course, Mark only wants to talk about the sex he has heard from you guys." Laura smirked . . . they have always been pretty open about sex and stuff like that but Mark . . . he had some stories to tell.

"Oh god . . . what has he said." Derek moaned feeling Meredith tense up a little. She didn't know this was ordinary for them.

"Ha ha . . . worried little brother?" She laughed.

"Never." He smiled at her, "Now, the kids . . . I want to see some of the nieces and nephews."

"They are all in the game room. They were getting in the way of dinner and . . . we have an incredibly huge family and we seem to be growing." She raised her eyebrows.

"Don't tell me another sister is popping one out. You girls are baby making machines." He laughed a little nervously knowing exactly what she meant by a growing family . . . with Meredith standing there.

"No, thank god none of us are having babies, not yet anyway." Meredith heard another unfamiliar voice from behind her.

"I am Nancy . . . and I guess you could say I am the bitch of the sister's, but really, I am not that bad . . . as long as you aren't bubbly and way too happy all of the time."

Meredith smiled . . . she wasn't sure about this one, but she actually liked that she spoke the absolute truth . . . something Meredith could admire in a person.

"With that, I am going to go and tell the kids that Uncle Derek is here. They will all run up in a matter of seconds. We tried to contain them so they didn't bombard you and we could meet Meredith before . . . the herd stampeded." Laura laughed as she walked out of the room.

"Derek . . . you have finally found someone to put up with your crazy ass . . . being a driver and in medical school." Nancy said coyly.

"She loves me." He smiled at her and kissed her nose.

"Oh god . . . Mark has been doing that shit and we are all quite sick of it. I mean – MARK . . . our Markie. You . . . we expect that from your ass." She laughed.

Meredith giggled and started to say something until they heard the stampede . . .

They all started talking at once and hugging their Uncle Derek. "Hey . . . guys . . . hold on . . . I have someone for you to meet." He was trying to keep standing straight up and Meredith was retreating more and more. The sisters . . . it was like they had staged their introductions . . . little did Meredith know, they had. Derek asked them not to bombard her the second they got there. He knew she was overwhelmed, but this . . . he knew the kids would do this.

He noticed Meredith had let go of his hand and was at least a few steps behind him. He stepped back to her and took her hand firmly in his. He looked into her eyes and knew this . . . this scared the hell out of her. She was not showing it in her body language as much, but her eyes told him everything.

"This . . . this is my girlfriend, Meredith Grey." He proudly introduced her again to all of the nieces and nephews eagerly awaiting. Even the young one's were excited.

Meredith smiled warmly at them all, "It is nice to meet you all." She then felt a small hand on her leg, tugging at her pants. The little boy seemed to be around 5 and seemed to have the same Shepherd characteristics as many of the children had. Some of them had more than others, but this one . . . looked a lot like what she thought Derek looked like as a child, "Meredith . . . you are very pretty and I think . . . will you be my girlfriend?"

She giggled at this little boy and crouched down to his level. "You know what buddy . . . I think . . . Uncle Derek is my boyfriend, but why don't you be my best buddy."

She saw his face light up . . . she didn't eve know his name or who he belonged to. "Really . . . we can be best buddies." He said excitedly.

"Sure we can." She smiled at him, stood up, and looked at Derek, who was smiling adorningly at her, but quickly looked to his nephew . . . Kathleen's youngest, "You may be my competition." He laughed.

"Scared of a little competition?" Meredith asked in his ear.

"He definitely doesn't have what you want . . . and if you are good . . . you can have it . . . tonight." He knew what she said . . . but, he also knew they couldn't keep their hands off of each other.

"I knew I heard a ruckus in here . . . one of you go get the boys from outside . . . it is dinner time." Caroline Shepherd said the second she saw most of her grandchildren surrounding Derek and Meredith. "And why don't you two go and freshen up real quick. I am sure you could use a few minutes after . . . all of this." She smiled warmly at both of them.

Meredith couldn't believe how wonderful his family was . . . they tried to ease her into them slowly . . . not all at once. She could tell they were ecstatic to meet her, but were calm. She held it together. She knew she would be able to; however, it didn't make it easier. She had met the sisters and they all seemed great. She still had all of the husbands to meet and . . . the herd of children . . . they were all there, but she didn't know who was who and the sister they belonged to. She inwardly smiled as they walked up the stairs . . . happy to be here with Derek.

"So, do you want it now?" Derek said in her ear, making sure to nibble it real quick on the way up the stairs.

"Derek . . . no . . . we have to get back down in a few minutes." She said trying to pull away from him as they got to the top of the stairs. 

Derek grabbed her and pressed up against her back, "I want you . . . now and I can't wait." He grinded into her a little.

"Oh god . . . why do you have to do that to me?" She smirked knowing them not having sex . . . straight out the window.

"That is what I thought. We don't have long." He breathed into her ear, opening the door to their room before closing it quickly and guiding her straight over to the bed . . .

131


	66. Mothers

Meredith couldn't believe how wonderful Derek's huge family was. At times, they were a lot to . . . be around, mainly because she wasn't used to it though. She liked all of Derek's sisters and realized Derek was right about Carrie and her hitting it off. Maybe it was because she was the only sister without kids . . . she was also the only non-doctor. She was a Computer Graphics Designer and Meredith was still trying to figure out exactly what that meant. She worked primarily from her home office she has set up in her home Manhattan townhouse, but did travel all over the world on occasion. Derek said she was one of the top in the country and highly sought after. Just the little bit Meredith has been around her in the last few days, she could see she was very good at what she did. 

She was also surprised to realize they entire Shepherd clan spends at least a week together at Christmas. Meredith was quickly realizing really what a big deal it was for them to all be here for the holidays. Mrs. Shepherd was wonderful and insisted Meredith call her mom. She wasn't quite sure how comfortable she felt calling her that, but she was growing more and more to the idea.

Meredith stood outside the front door thinking about how much she loved it here, even with the big family . . . but, she had no idea how she was going to tell Derek about the phone call she had just hung up from.

She heard the front door open, "Are you coming back in? You must be freezing out here." Derek hugged her tightly from behind.

"I am fine." She quickly said biting her lip.

"That phone call . . . who was on the phone?" He asked curiously noticing she was very tense.

"Oh . . . um . . . my mother." She turned around and scooted out of his arms.

Derek sighed. He wondered when he would meet Ellis Grey. Meredith kept saying she would show up soon to check up on her and her brothers, but they usually didn't know when. He could tell she was more tense than she normally was after talking to Ellis, "Mer . . . what did she say to you?"

"She called Alex and . . . well . . . he told her I was here in New York and . . . um . . ." She looked down, biting her lip harder.

"What is it, Mer?" He was now very concerned.

"She is actually here . . . in New York and thinks . . . actually not thinks, she demands to see me and meet . . . you." She looked up at him, needing him to tell her it would be ok . . . she saw . . . not eyes that she needed.

"Who in the hell does she think she is . . . just thinking she can barge in on us and our family." Derek scathed.

"Derek." She said in frustration unsure what to say.

"This is my fucking time with my family and that woman will not come in here because she demands it. Fuck her. This is our time . . . my family is getting to know you . . . not your fucking mother." He yelled a little louder.

Meredith felt the tears coming. She had no idea he would react this way . . . she had no idea what to say to him. "She is my mother Derek."

"And a pretty damn shitty one at that." He spat quickly.

"Not everyone can have the perfect fucking family Derek . . . she tried her hardest . . . she provided everything for us and was there when she could. She was a single fucking parent because my dad decided to leave us when I was 3. She did the best she could and still managed to become one of the foremost surgeon's in the world. You don't get to call her a shitty mom." She was angry now and was yelling loudly.

"Defend the bitch that never comes and sees you. She couldn't even take time out of her busy schedule to come home for Christmas to spend time with her children and her grandchildren. The only reason why she wants to come now . . . is because it would be convenient for her."

"We are done with this conversation." She turned around and walked back in the house. The second she did, she stopped seeing Caroline Shepherd along with Carrie and Kathleen.

"I am sorry . . . I have to go. I am just going to get my things." Meredith said quickly running off with tears streaming down her face. She couldn't believe it . . . her and Derek were having the time of their life together.

The three women stood there remembering this side of Derek and how much . . . he was like his father. "Oh my." Caroline finally sighed.

"He is just like dad." Kathleen said in disbelief. Mark had talked about the anger . . . showing up a little, but they really hadn't seen it since high school and even then . . . it wasn't too bad.

"What?" Carried asked, unsure what they were talking about.

"Your dad . . . he learned and Derek will too I am sure. Carrie . . . you are not old enough to know this . . . you only know your father as a very loving man. He was an amazing father and husband, but at one time . . . he was just like that . . . like Derek. He never got physical . . . but, his temper . . . he had one." Caroline said very seriously to her youngest daughter.

Carrie swallowed hard. "Mom . . . Derek . . . will he be able to . . . I mean he and Mer really love each other . . . she is it for him and she . . . I don't think she will put up with that."

"It may take . . . a lot for Derek to realize. I hope . . . it doesn't." Caroline said sadly remembering back to when Laura, her third child, was just born . . . what she had to do was possibly the hardest thing she has ever had to do.

"Mom . . . maybe we should . . . or you should talk to him." Kathleen suggested being the shrink of the family.

"I think . . . I am going to have to. It is time and after some things Mark mentioned to me . . . I know I have to." Caroline had tears welling up.

"Tell him what exactly?" Carrie knew there was a little more to the story than this.

Kathleen looked to her mother to see exactly what she should say. Caroline shook her head, yes, to let Kathleen know . . . Carrie needs to know.

Before Kathleen said anything, the door opened and they saw Derek with anger in his eyes . . . the eyes that scared Caroline to death . . . not because he would physically do anything, but she remembers . . . all the hurt those eyes caused very early on in her marriage . . . to the love of her life . . . and the father to her children.

"Where is she?" He scathed.

"You are not . . . you need to calm down before seeing her." Carried pleaded.

"Get out of my fucking way." He scathed at her causing tears to quickly come to her eyes. Carrie and he were always close. She had seen him get angry . . . but, this . . . was different.

"Derek Cole Shepherd . . . We need to talk. Kathleen, why don't you go up and talk to Meredith." Caroline Shepherd never took her eyes of off her son . . . daring him to move or defy her in any way. "Carrie . . . please make sure no one gets close to dining room and we will talk . . . very soon."

"Son, come with me." She said sternly not allowing him to say anything to her as she started walking to the dining room.

Meredith sat on the bed . . . Derek's childhood bed . . . balling her eyes out. She was so embarrassed . . . Derek's mom, Kathleen, and Carrie were standing there . . . when she came in and Meredith was sure they heard most or all of the conversation by the expression on their faces.

She needed to get out of there, but she had no idea where she needed to go. She would call her mom back and see where she was at. They discussed maybe having dinner tonight so that Ellis could meet Derek. She had heard a little about Derek from Alex and/or Bryant.

"Hey Meredith . . . I saw you run up the stairs . . . what did my dumb ass brother do this time?" Mark was concerned and walked over to her.

"He . . . nothing Mark." She cried.

"Bullshit. If he . . . he didn't hurt you did he?"

Meredith shot her eyes up to him, "He wouldn't . . . not purposefully anyway. But, he . . . it is like he just snaps."

Mark knew Derek couldn't control himself with girls . . . when he liked them and Meredith, she was . . . he knew this was it for Derek, "He has done that . . . since I have known him. He has really been trying."

"Really? He has always . . . I mean, this is only the second time I have ever seen this." She said through her tears.

Mark sighed and they both turned when they heard the door opening, "Mark . . ." Kathleen said surprised to see him, but knew how close Derek, Meredith, Mark, and Izzie seemed to be.

Mark looked over to Meredith unsure how comfortable she would be with Kathleen.

Meredith looked at Kathleen, "Oh . . . hi." She said nervously trying to quickly dry the tears up.

"Meredith . . . Can I talk to you?" Kathleen asked in a very quiet voice.

Meredith looked between her and Mark and back to Kathleen, "Um . . . I guess . . . I mean, you were standing there and probably heard it all and probably hate me." She looked down.

"Mark, can you excuse us." Kathleen said clearly.

He looked to Meredith and she looked up enough to let him know she was ok.

Kathleen sat beside Meredith, "Meredith . . . I want to start by saying . . . I am here for you. He is my brother, but . . . what he said to you today was . . . inexcusable and I don't hate you. I personally would have probably kicked his ass if I were you."

Meredith looked up at her shocked at her comment. "Oh . . . I . . . I wanted to and still want to."

Kathleen sighed knowing a similar conversation was occurring simultaneously downstairs, but it doesn't make it any easier. She wondered if she should wait and let Derek tell her . . .

"Derek . . . sit down." Caroline said calmly.

"I am fine standing." He replied very coldly.

"You will sit." She stared him down until he decided he needed to sit. This is something she learned through the years . . . take command and be the demanding one. She continued to stand, unable to sit just yet.

Caroline took a very deep breath before starting, "I have never been disappointed in you Derek . . . never . . . but, today . . . I am."

Derek started to speak, but Caroline was ready for it all, "You . . . are going to listen . . . to EVERY WORD . . . .I have to say. Are we understood?"

Derek couldn't say a word, he had so much he wanted to say, but he was speechless, he had never seen his mom . . . so calm and upset all at once. He knew she was serious. He nodded in agreement unable to even form a yes.

"Ok . . . good. Now that we have come to an understanding of how this is going to work, I have a few things to say."

"I didn't hear the entire thing and only went to the door when I heard my son . . . screaming at the woman he says is the love of his life. Not only was he screaming at her, but he basically demeaned her in every way possible. That poor girl should have slapped you back to Arizona."

"Did she even . . ." Derek started to defend himself.

"NO . . . YOU ARE NOT . . . GOING TO PIN ANY OF THAT ON HER. You need to get a hold of yourself. Anything she said . . . was in response to you . . . it was all she can say or do. DO NOT say anything else because I have a thing or two to tell you."

He had never seen his mother like this, but noticed her eyes soften a little and she sat down across from him and looked into his deep, blue eyes. He swore the closer he looked, he saw tears starting to form, but he wasn't for sure.

After what seemed like eternity, but was more like a minute, she finally spoke, "You . . . are just like your father, Derek and that scares the hell out of me."

Derek wasn't sure what she meant by this and wasn't sure if he could say anything, "Scares you? Dad was amazing . . . and you . . . I want to be like him mom. He was . . . he was successful and loved us so much."

"He did . . . but, son . . . the road . . . started out rocky."

"Mom, what do you mean?"

She noticed his eyes soften dramatically. "You and your father . . . you want to protect the people you love and do not know how to channel it. You both also want your way or no way when it comes to the one you love. You do it . . . he did it . . . and it almost costs your father his family." She knew she had the tears coming, but tried to hold them back.

Derek sat back in his chair unsure exactly what she mean, "Mom, what do you . . . I don't understand."

Caroline looked into his son's eyes knowing this wasn't going to be easy for her to say or for him to hear. She took a deep breath in, "Derek, before you were born, I left your father with your 3 older sisters. I had just had Laura so . . . she doesn't know about this either. Kathleen and Nancy . . . they both remember."

Derek stood up suddenly and looked harshly at his mother, "And you never told me? You didn't think it was important? I am part of this family and you . . . and dad . . . and my sisters have kept this from me . . . and I bet Carrie nor Laura know." He was yelling at the end.

"Derek, sit down."

"I will NOT sit down." He looked at his mother full of anger.

Caroline stood up, unable to let the tears fall that were pooled up at the corner of her eyes, "You will . . . sit down and listen."

Derek looked at her, "I don't care what you have to say . . . You . . . You guys kept this from us. I can't believe this."

Caroline never broke eye contact with her son, "That girl . . . she is the love of your life and you need to hear what I have to say before . . . she can't deal with this. It took me leaving . . . for your father to realize and I do not want that to happen to you."

Derek shook his head in disbelief, "So, the only reason you are telling me now . . . is because you think Meredith will leave me?"

"If you continue like this, she will. No woman will put up with that."

"She loves me." He said quickly.

"She does . . . and you love her which is why . . . you do this." Caroline said clearly.

"I don't do anything. She just . . ."

"Just nothing . . . she doesn't do anything. You berated that poor girl for no reason and you will feel very bad about it once you can sit down and think about exactly what you did. You will feel horrible actually and then . . . you will do everything you can to make it up to her. Your father . . . he did it. You want to have your way . . . when it comes to her. You want to control her every move. You think you are doing it out of love and it angers you when things happen that are . . . not what you had planned."

"I don't. No . . . I love her and . . . I just . . . oh god." He sat down quickly and leaned back in his chair, looking up at his mom.

Caroline saw his face soften but noticed he continued to look down at his hands. She wasn't sure what to say next, but . . . she knew he realized everything she just said . . . was true. She hoped this would be the last time . . . but, she had a feeling this wouldn't be the worst of things with him. His father . . . really had to work hard not to fall back into the pattern and he didn't. He had turned around after Caroline left him for a few weeks . . . realizing she really did mean business. She just hoped, her son and Meredith . . . wouldn't go through the same things she and her husband did; however, because of those things, they were able to get through anything together. They had learned to appreciate one another and love each other fully. It was terrible at the time, but made them a truly amazing couple that loved the other . . . deeply.

133


	67. Everyone Has Faults

Derek sat at the table at least thirty minutes after his mom walked out. He couldn't believe his parents ever had problems . . . they were the perfect couple and loved each other so much. His mother explained to him it took them a while to get there . . . but, what they had together was amazing, even through the fighting and the anger . . . just like he and Meredith had. 

He couldn't screw this up and he knew it. He knew Meredith was it for him and he doesn't even know what made him snap like he did. He knew he couldn't do that, but what pained him more is he didn't know how to stop . . . he felt exactly the same way during their only other big fight. He got so upset because she was going to spend the afternoon with Marissa instead of him . . . he was controlling and got angry when he didn't get his way . . . but, not with everyone, only the one person he loved the most.

This thought brought tears to his eyes quickly and he didn't notice that someone had sat down at the table beside him.

"Derek?" The female voice said quietly and calmly.

Derek looked up, "Carrie . . ."

Neither knew what to say. He had no idea if she had a clue to any of it with their parents. Carrie could see the confusion in Derek's eyes and decided to speak first, "Mom . . . she just . . . she told me."

"Yeah." Derek looked back down.

"You . . . you scared me Derek and Meredith . . . you had no right." Carrie didn't want to upset him, but, she had to say it.

"I know." He continued to look down when he quietly let that fall out of his mouth.

They sat in a silence for at least a few minutes, "So . . . is she still here?" Derek looked up for the first time since Carrie spoke his name.

"I think so . . . Kathleen went up to talk with her."

"WHAT?" Derek was shocked to hear Kathleen talked to her.

"She . . . Mom suggested she go up. You know Kathleen is good at that stuff."

Derek breathed heavily, "What did she tell her?" 

"I don't know Derek . . . but, you have to talk to her and you have to . . . you have to learn how to deal with this. Apparently our father did and . . . you have to." Carrie said with very concerned eyes.

Derek sighed, "Yeah . . . I do. I was an ass . . . worse than an ass really."

"Has this . . . I mean, does this happen often?" She wondered.

He couldn't lie to her. They told each other everything growing up and still do. They were very close, "One other time . . . and it was bad." He leaned to the table and propped his elbows up on it . . . he put his head in his hands.

"She forgave you."

He stayed in his hands for a second before looking up at Carrie, "She did . . . but, it was bad . . . I did everything I could."

"That was the last race of the season, wasn't it? I knew when I saw the interviews after the race; you didn't seem like yourself and knew something was wrong."

"It was . . . how did you know?" He wondered.

"Oh, come on big brother . . . you know I can tell things . . . we have always had that." 

He laughed very gently, "We have . . . and yes . . . it was the night before . . . but, after that interview . . . and I finally got to her at The Temple, things were great."

"Then, you get up there and you beg . . . but, Derek . . . keep doing this and . . . begging won't work anymore."

"I know . . . the problem is I don't even know what makes me snap, but I do."

"Derek . . . she is the love of your life. She is a wonderful woman and you can figure this out."

"I am trying. I should . . . I need to get up there to her. I have no idea what to say."

"Be honest. That is all you can do." She looked at her brother, concerned for him, but gave him a smile of confidence.

"Wish me luck . . . I am going to need it."

"She loves you and I do too big brother . . . even when you are an ass." Carrie knew she did.

"Thanks Carrie and I love you too." He said walking up to go up the stairs; Derek stopped right at the door of his bedroom, the one he grew up in. He couldn't hear anything and wasn't sure if she was still in there. He slowly opened the door to see Izzie and Meredith laying down on the bed, neither talking, but both laying on top of the covers, looking up at the ceiling. He took a quick look around and saw her bag lying on the floor with some of her clothes in it.

He watched for a minute or so and noticed they both had their eyes open and had not even looked to see who was at the door.

"Meredith." He said quietly wondering what she would do.

He watched closely for any movement, not seeing any, he took a few steps forward, his stomach turning over and over.

"Izzie, thank you." Meredith finally said indicating she could leave.

Izzie didn't say a word, but she got up and left the room, giving Derek a look that said many things, with the most important telling him not to hurt her. He knew she didn't deserve this.

He watched Meredith continue to lie on her back, looking up, not moving. He had no idea what to do. He was thankful when he heard her speak, "Derek."

"Yeah." He tried to say the first time, but it barely came out, so, he cleared his throat and more clearly said, "Yes?"

"I am not going to . . . you are not going to talk to me like that." She said very clearly, almost unemotional.

It felt like someone had just hit him in the gut. He knew he had really fucked up, but . . . she didn't deserve this. He loved her more than anything in the world and he had no idea why he talked to her that way, "Meredith . . . I don't know what . . . I am sorry." He said choking up a little.

Meredith sat up to look at him; she wanted to see his eyes and knew he needed to see hers. They had always said a lot just with their eyes . . . but, right now, he needed to know . . . she wouldn't keep doing this.

They stared in an uncomfortable silence . . . Derek seeing the hurt and Meredith seeing the sorrow.

"Meredith . . . I love you and please . . . I never want to hurt you." He pleaded continuing to stand as she sat on the bed.

"Really? Because you . . . your words hurt. I didn't do anything to deserve it."

"You didn't." He sighed and sat beside her glad when she didn't make any movements, allowing him to sit beside her. He was even more shocked when she took his hand in hers.

"Derek . . . I do love you . . . and I want to . . . we have to get past this. It is something you have to work on. I know it may not be easy, but you can't do that just because you don't like what you hear. I love you and I want to be with you more than anything."

He let out a strong gush of air that he was holding from the minute she started talking. "I . . . I love you and . . . I am going to try and do everything in my power to stop this. I am not sure how at this point; I don't even know what triggers me. Mer . . . I do love you . . . so much that it hurts me to know that I . . . was . . . I said some very terrible things to you. I am . . . sorry isn't even enough." He couldn't hold back his tears any longer.

Meredith knew he was sorry . . . and from what Kathleen told her, this wasn't something that was going to be easy for them. She went to wrap her arms around him and they both sat in each others arms, Meredith holding onto Derek tightly, letting his tears flow freely. She wanted to believe things would be better . . . she loved him . . . he was the love of her life . . . for the first time ever she thought she wanted to settle down with someone and possibly get married. Everyone had their faults . . . she sure had hers, but she hoped this . . . wouldn't get any worse.

134


	68. Casual Greetings

"So, Derek, tell me a little about yourself." Ellis said flatly from across the table at the restaurant they were eating at. 

"I am from New York; went to Columbia University for my Undergraduate Degree." Derek said nervously. He was thankful Meredith let him come to dinner. She didn't want him to at first after how upset he had gotten. He wanted to met Ellis . . . not because of who she was in the surgery world, but because she was Meredith's mom. 

"Did you not get into medical school there? They have an excellent program." Ellis asked curiously.

Derek sighed. He had gotten in with no problem and his family wanted him to go there, but he really wanted to go somewhere where he could have more access to a racing track, "They do, but I decided to go to Arizona . . . for various reasons."

"Yes . . . would those reasons be racing? You and my son . . . both of you are intelligent people wasting your time with that stuff." She said very serious.

"Mom . . . they . . . it is their passion." Meredith has tried many times to explain this to her mom about Alex and now . . . there is Derek. She wished she had a passion . . . like them.

"Meredith . . . it is silly. I mean, studies . . . it has to take away from school." Ellis suggested.

"No, mom . . . Derek is the top in his class actually and Alex . . . Alex and I both are doing well." She smiled and looked at Derek who took her hand under the table.

"And Dr. Grey . . . your daughter is the top of her class." He was so proud . . . even though she beat him out in the class they had together and he owed her . . . he didn't care . . . he loved her and wanted her to be the best.

"I have been hearing about that. You have to stay focused on school. I know you think you might be in love from what the boys say, but . . . it won't be easy." Ellis stayed in contact with their professors . . . especially Dr. Wright. She knew Derek was his TA and would be this coming semester also. Dr. Wright actually had nothing but good things to say about Derek . . . and Meredith although he didn't have her. Dr. Wright and Ellis . . . were old friends . . . and never missed an opportunity to see each other.

Derek couldn't help but smile at Ellis's admission of them being in love, "Yes . . . Dr. Grey, I do love your daughter and we know . . . it won't be easy."

They were enjoying their meal and were closer to being finished, but continued in the conversation.

"Good. Now, tell me about those grandbabies. I know they are growing so much. I think I will actually be there in February sometime giving a few presentations at school." Ellis smiled talking about them.

"They are getting so big. Marissa is discovering the world of boys and . . . puberty. The boys are as crazy as ever. Bryant really is a good father and Alex . . . he has really been amazing." Meredith said smiling; she loved her nieces and nephews.

"Meredith is amazing with them too . . . don't let her fool you. Even with her busy schedule, she picks Marissa up at least once a week and spends the afternoon and evening with her." Derek grinned at Meredith again, taking his hand from hers and putting it around her chair. Her hand found his other hand to hold on to.

Ellis was a little taken aback, "I am a busy woman . . . I try to see them as much as I can." She looked at Derek.

Derek didn't mean it like that and hated that Ellis thought he did. He quickly said, "Dr. Grey . . . I didn't mean . . . I know you are busy ma'am."

Ellis saw that Derek really didn't mean anything towards here, "It is ok Derek . . . I know what you were trying to say. You really do love my daughter, don't you?" She always wanted someone to take care of her and now her daughter . . . may have found that. But, Ellis knew they never stayed around.

"I do . . . I really do."

"You hurt her . . . I will make sure you have no career in medicine." She eyed Derek making sure he knew she was serious. She could tell her daughter loved this man. Dr. Wright also told her . . . they really were amazing together. Before that, Ellis would never have approved, but Dr. Wright . . . he told Ellis Derek was a good one. Ellis also knew Dr. Wright would kill her for saying anything to her daughter or her boyfriend.

"Yes ma'am . . . I don't intend to. I mean . . . everyone makes mistakes . . . but, I do everything I can not make them." He was truly sorry about earlier and Meredith knew it.

"So, are there plans to get married?" Ellis was always very direct. But, she wanted to know what the plans were. They still had a long road ahead of them.

Derek had no idea what to say. He wanted to say he had every intention of marrying Meredith . . . so much that the thought of looking at rings had crossed his mind a time or two . . . he had already figured out where the money was going to come from for the ring . . .

Meredith was also speechless, but knew she had to speak up . . . she didn't want to appear weak in any way with her mom, "Mom, Derek and I . . . we do . . . love each other and one day . . . I think . . . I mean, we haven't talked about it really. But one day . . . maybe."

She got very nervous and Derek could feel it and decided to jump in, "Dr. Grey . . . I fully intend on being with your daughter . . . forever, if she will have me. Right now, we are focusing on school. We actually haven't been together for very long, just a few months now. But, she is . . . amazing." He looked into his girlfriend's eyes, fully intending on marrying her one day. He also knew throwing in the school stuff would be something Ellis would want to hear. Derek was always a bit of a charmer.

"Very well then. You know, I will be checking up on you guys to make sure you are doing ok . . . in school." Ellis looked at Derek, "You know your dad was a good friend of mine and . . . he would be proud of you following in his footsteps. He was not only an amazing surgeon but was always one of the few that could balance family with being successful in his career." Meredith watched her mom say this and noticed her eyes fell slightly when she said this.

"I didn't realize . . . I mean, I guess all of the big surgeon's know each other. Thank you for saying those things." Derek thought Ellis was an interesting woman. He did see that she did care . . . she just wanted her career more. She was content letting nannies raise her kids . . . but, she wasn't as bad as Derek thought before going to dinner. He just didn't know what kind of mom could be like that . . . but, he was starting to understand.

"Your family lives here . . . I am in town for a few more days . . . since it looks like you two will . . . whatever you do in the future . . . I should meet your mom. I may have a long time ago at a ball or something . . . but, I would like to meet her as Derek's mom." Ellis suggested.

Meredith wasn't sure about this, but Derek quickly answered, "I think she would love to meet you as well. I can imagine she will want to cook dinner at our house and have the family over or some of the family." He smiled thinking about how big his family was.

"That would be nice. I do need to get going tonight though . . . an early consult in the morning. Dinner was great. Meredith, call me about meeting the Shepherd's." Ellis hugged her daughter goodbye and shook Derek's hand.

When Derek and Meredith got to the car, he went to her side and opened the door, but before she got in, he pulled her tight to him and kissed her head, "Meredith . . . I do love you so much."

"I know . . . and I love you too." She replied knowing he was really sorry and was doing everything he knew how to show her. From everything Kathleen said, this would happen again and Meredith would have to stand her ground. Being the psychologist, she told Meredith to calmly remind him . . . he is doing it . . . snapping for no reason. She said Derek would work on it, but it would be hard for him to never snap. Even their father did from time to time and Caroline would calmly remind him, it wasn't ok.

"Let's get to the house." Derek said squeezing her tightly before letting her get into the car and closing her door.

Both of them knew . . . things wouldn't be perfect, no relationship was . . . and they would fight to hold on to the good . . . because they had found a love . . . that came once in a lifetime.

-----------------

Mrs. Shepherd was more than excited to have Meredith's mother over. She was pretty sure they had met years ago at a ball for the hospital. When she told her daughters the famous Ellis Grey would be joining them for dinner, they all wanted to be there . . . Carrie included, although she wanted to come to meet Meredith's mother . . . not one of the best surgeon's in the country. She knew it would be a house full, but that was the way it was in the Shepherd family.

Dinner was almost ready . . . Caroline decided on cooking meatloaf. She knew there would be a lot of them for dinner, so she decided to make two huge loaves. They were going to have mashed potatoes and gravy, mac and cheese (for the kids), and fresh string beans. For desert, Izzie baked a chocolate caked; she said she made the best and she wanted to make it for the family. They all admitted, it looked beautiful.

"Meredith, honey . . . can you go ahead and put the ice in the glasses?" Caroline asked kindly. Meredith stayed away from any cooking going on, but said she would help with anything she needed as she cooked. Izzie helped out as did Carrie.

"Sure." Meredith got the glasses down from the china cabinet a few at a time and put ice in them. She was amazed at how beautiful the china and crystal was that they were using tonight; it was simple, but elegant and Meredith loved the red inside with the dark grey outside. Mrs. Shepherd had at least four different sets of china from what Meredith could see while she has been staying in her home . . . and figured there was more. They were all very different ranging from contemporary to traditional to ornate.

"Hello ladies. It smells delicious in here." Derek said walking straight to where Meredith was filling up the cups.

"Hello to you." Meredith looked up briefly to look at him. He could tell . . . she was appearing to be very strong, but on the inside, she was nervous . . . the eyes told him everything.

He leaned close to her ear, "It will be fine. I will be right here and . . . I love you."

At that second, they heard the doorbell ring, indicating Ellis had arrived. "I will go get the door." Derek said before kissing Meredith.

"I am going to go and greet her. Izzie, can you make sure the meatloaf comes out in 5 minutes if I am not back." Caroline said happily, wiping her hands off to go and meet Ellis.

Izzie watched Meredith . . . she could tell she was a little worried because she was biting her lip, "I am sure it will be ok."

"Oh . . . I'm . . . it's ok. I think she likes Derek. I am more worried about the . . . entire family." She said the last part very low making sure none of them heard her.

"I am always worried about us all." Izzie and Meredith heard from behind them.

_Shit_ Meredith thought while turning around. "I didn't . . . You guys are so great, but your family . . . it is big."

"Meredith . . . No way would I bring a boyfriend's mom over to meet them all. They are nuts with all of the kids and everything. That would be enough to scare anyone away." Carrie laughed.

Meredith was relieved Carrie saw the humor it in, "Yeah . . . great family, but big and my mom . . . She isn't used to the family stuff really."

"It will be fine." Carrie assured her.

"I should go and . . . say hi to my mom. Thanks to both of you."

Meredith walked in the foyer and saw 2 of the sisters, Derek, and Caroline talking to her mom. Her mom was nervous; no one else in the room would know, but Meredith knew . . . she could look at her and tell.

"Mom . . ." Meredith walked over to her and gave her a quick hug.

"Hey honey. You were helping in the kitchen." She said plainly.

"Well, I was filling the cups . . . I still don't cook." Meredith said looking to Derek thinking about their various experiences in the kitchen.

Derek put his arm around Meredith and smiled, "I am trying to teach her though."

"You cook?" Ellis asked shocked.

"I do . . . I use cucumbers whenever I get a chance." Derek smirked, but didn't look at Meredith. He was trying to get her to relax and he hoped bringing up some . . . fun times would help.

Kathleen raised an eyebrow at her brother knowing there was a story there when Meredith giggled slightly, "What exactly do you make with cucumbers, little brother?"

"Oh . . . well, they are good in salads. I think Meredith likes them a lot." He knew he was starting to blush a little. He was going to kill Kathleen because she had that smirk . . . one that he had given a time or two.

"I didn't realize you liked cucumbers Mer." Her mother said curiously.

_I am going to fucking kill him . . . why . . . he just had to bring it up . . . I know I am getting flushed. Dead . . . he is dead. But, I sure wouldn't mind a taste of his cucumber. OH GOD . . ._ "Well, I have grown to like them . . . I like chopping one . . . finely chopping . . ." She said emphasizing the word chopping. She knew he was trying to get her to relax . . . but, he has done nothing but get her . . . hot and wanting . . .

"What are we chopping?" Mark said walking into the foyer.

"Cucumbers . . . apparently Meredith likes chopping one and eating them." Laura said amusingly while she was taking in the conversation.

Mark just busted out laughing, "You have no idea . . . in fact, I bet she will eat one tonight." He couldn't help himself.

"No . . . no . . . not tonight." Meredith said quickly . . .

"Yeah . . . you say that now." Derek smirked saying it very quietly in her ear.

Caroline and Ellis looked at each other . . . they had no idea what Derek said quickly in Meredith's ear, but by her expression, they were pretty sure it was good. Neither of them really wanted to hear anything else. Although they are older, it doesn't mean they are clueless . . .

"Dinner . . . dinner will be ready soon. Kathleen and Laura, do you want to round up the zoo we have here and get them ready for dinner. Ellis . . . we have wine if you would like some, I think I will need a glass myself." Caroline looked to the others in the foyer.

"Wine would be nice." Ellis laughed a little.

Derek noticed . . . she was nervous. No one else would even realize it in the room . . . but, he had seen it a million times on the face of his girlfriend. Ellis Grey was nervous . . . but, she held it together . . . just like Meredith. He kept his arm around Meredith and followed their mothers into the kitchen.

136


	69. Marry You

"Will you ladies hurry up?" Mark yelled into the bathroom where Meredith and Izzie were getting ready. 

"You want us to look amazing don't you?" Izzie yelled playfully at Mark.

"Honey . . . you look amazing when you have just came out of the shower all wet . . . so, you are asking the wrong person." Mark laughed.

"Mark . . . there are little ears running around." Izzie yelled trying not to laugh though. 

"Mark and I will be downstairs waiting for you ladies . . . take your time . . . Carrie is going to take us to her place and we are going to either walk or take a cab from there." Derek said loud enough for them to hear. Carrie didn't live that far from Times Square and that is where they were celebrating New Years. 

"Ok . . . see you down there. We won't be too much longer." Meredith said.

"Just another hour." Mark grumbled knowing the ladies would take a while longer as Derek hit him lightly while they walked down the stairs.

"Dinner last night was good." Izzie said smiling while curling her hair.

"It was . . . mom was really nice and I think her and Mrs. Shepherd got along well." Meredith smiled . . . she was really happy things went ok. She was very nervous, but her mom was really nice. She was still very straightforward at times, but she could have been much worse.

"She really likes Derek and Mark." Izzie noticed she really favored them.

"Yes . . . she likes the boys . . . same thing with my brothers. She adores them. Me . . . I am Meredith with so many expectations." She sighed.

Izzie looked at her through the mirror, noticing her expression drop. She didn't mean to say this to upset her in anyway and knew Meredith had a hard time living up to her mom's expectations. Izzie saw that she did hold Meredith to a very high standard . . . just the few hours she was there. She also noticed Meredith was a different person . . . she watched everything she said and was very business like, "Well . . . you are . . . I really am glad we are friends."

Meredith smiled, "I am too and I am glad you have been here this week." Meredith really liked Izzie and was really glad they were friends. Sometimes she was a little on the cheerful side, but she was genuine . . . Cristina has been very strange and distant lately. She knew something was going on, but Cristina wasn't talking. She did this one other time . . . and Meredith wondered if something similar was going on.

Izzie and Meredith continued to get ready . . . they had been shopping earlier in the day and found something more suitable for the cool temperatures, or that is what they told the boys anyway . . .

"We are ready in under an hour." Izzie announced as her and Meredith pranced down the stairs.

Both men were sitting on the couch, talking to Carrie and Mrs. Shepherd. They both turned their heads . . . and couldn't believe the site before them. 

"Boys . . . pick your mouths up." Carrie said laughing.

Derek and Mark stood up . . . they just couldn't believe the site before them. Both of them wore jeans . . . jeans that showed off every single curve they had and the curves . . . were good, "Those girls . . . they are our dates for tonight." Mark said almost at a lost for words.

"You look . . . amazing." Derek walked up to Meredith and just stared at how beautiful she looked.

"Shopping was fun today . . . especially with Derek's credit card." Carrie laughed.

"She can have . . . whatever she wants." Derek said not taking his eyes off of her. He had seen her dressed up and ready to go out . . . but something about tonight . . . starting this New Year together . . . he was amazed how much he loved the woman in front of him.

"We should get going." Carrie said quickly knowing Derek may end up taking Meredith back upstairs.

"You kids have a fun evening." Caroline said as they all walked out of the house. She had a huge smile on her face. Her boys were in love . . . and she couldn't be happier. She missed them, but knew they were happy in life and that is all she ever wanted. She only had one other child to worry about . . . and that was Carrie. Before the boys came from upstairs, Carrie told her that she may be moving . . . to Arizona with the boys. She said she needed a change and Derek offered. Her job was such that she could do it from just about anywhere. She would have to travel to New York about once a month for a few days . . . but, that wasn't a big deal to her. Caroline hated the thought of her youngest going, but she knew Derek and she were close . . . Meredith and Carrie had also formed a bond of sorts. She thought this may be a good move for Carrie . . .

They had reservations for 9pm at a restaurant overlooking Times Square and then were planning on joining the party outside for the evening. Derek and Mark knew the girls would love it. One of Carrie's best guy friends was her date for the evening. They were close friends and nothing else, but they had a good time together.

"This is . . . really great." Meredith said snuggled up against Derek dancing a little to the music that was playing on the street.

"It is . . . and only 5 minutes until midnight . . . the start of a new year . . . and a New Year with you." He smiled while breathing her in . . . her sweet smell.

"This has been . . . thank you for bringing me home . . . to meet your family."

"They love you . . . of course . . . not as much as me."

"I don't do big families . . . but, I really felt at home Derek."

Derek couldn't believe she was saying this . . . she was open with him . . . but she didn't do large families but he had seen how relaxed she had become with all of them. Of course, she loves kids and they love her . . . but, there are a lot of kids in his family and adults. Meredith . . . she really knew how to interact with them all . . . even Nancy . . . who was a pain at times.

Mark looked over and caught Derek's attention as his head was over Meredith's shoulder. Mark smiled at Derek . . . and Derek saw his friend the most relaxed and happy . . . more so than he had ever seen him. Mark saw the same look on his best friend's face and both of them . . . were truly happy.

They were snuggled up . . . in the middle of Times Square waiting for the stroke of midnight . . . and only had a minute to go, "Derek . . . I love you."

"I know . . . and I love you."

"No . . . I mean, I really love you." Meredith said emphatically.

"Mer . . . what is this?" He pulled back slightly to look at her.

She looked at him for at least 10 seconds . . . and they vaguely heard 30 seconds . . .

"You are . . . you are the love of my life. This week . . . I have realized you . . ." She looked down at her hands needing to take a breath.

Derek took his hand and slowly pulled her chin back up so that he could see her . . . He heard the countdown starting as they gazed into each other's eyes for seconds, "Marry me . . . not tomorrow, but tell me you will . . . in the future . . . marry me." He had no idea where this came from. . . . 5 . . . 4 . . .

"Marry you . . . one day . . . in the future." 2 . . . 1 . . . Happy New Year.

137


	70. New Things

**I am really sorry for not updating . . . for a few days. I have hives (I just found out yesterday) and had a HUGE paper due. I am teaching full time and am in graduate school . . . So, this was one of those weeks. And, I am not working today and possible not tomorrow. So, I can udpate . . . at least once if not more possibly, if you want . . . **

"Ughhhh . . . do we have to get up?" Derek asked hearing the alarm go off bright and early on the first morning of classes for the next semester.

"You have to get up . . . I am sleeping." Meredith sleepily smiled at him.

"I would get up for you . . . if I didn't have class." He pulled her to him.

"No, you wouldn't . . . you didn't last semester . . . I was the only stupid ass getting up everyday early and now . . . you get to do it." She laughed a little. She had class early everyday last semester, but this semester . . . her earliest class was at 9am on Tuesday and Thursday and today, her class wasn't until 10:30.

"Only to TA for Wright . . . I shouldn't have done it . . . but, he wouldn't let me out of it."

"You are his bitch." Meredith laughed, keeping her eyes closed.

"If it gets me a top spot in any intern program . . . I am willing to be a bitch." Derek knowing he needed to get up, but this . . . it was perfect. They had five weeks of spending almost all waking hours together . . . and New Years . . . was perfect. They had never even talked marriage . . . but, it just came out and it was amazing. He knew there would be a proposal with a ring and all of that . . . eventually, but now . . . they couldn't be happier.

"My bitch . . . you can be my bitch."

"Honey . . . I have been your bitch for a few months now." He was smirking at her.

"And you love it." Meredith's eyes opened with the look . . .

Derek knew what that look meant and he groaned, "Mer . . . I have to get up and the only way . . . there is time for any of that . . . you will have to . . . take a shower with me." He grinned.

She thought for a minute, staring at his bare chest and running her hand down it, "I think I have some things to do on campus . . . before class." She said leaning into him and kissing him passionately.

He picked her up and took her into her bathroom, turned the water on and passionately made love to her. They had a wonderful 5 weeks . . . engaging in this act . . . most of the time . . . more than once a day . . . they had so much love to offer one another.

"Thanks for taking a shower with me . . . it helps you know." Derek smiled at her in the mirror as they were drying off.

"It does?"

"Helps me . . . wake up." He laughed.

"You seemed plenty awake before your shower." She glanced down at his now flaccid cock.

"Mer . . . don't even look because that look . . . we have to leave in 30 minutes."

"Ok." She knew they had to get going. It was their first day of school and they had the continuation of the first semester class together as well with Dr. Lawrence again.

As they got ready in their respective areas in Meredith's bedroom/bathroom, Meredith asked, "So, when will Carrie arrive today?"

"I think she should be here around 4:00 this afternoon. She said last night she was only about 8 hours she thought and she was going to try and get off by 8am. Maybe we should call her when we get in the car." Derek suggested. Carrie decided she needed a change and was moving . . . she is driving a U-Haul. She sold her car in New York and was going to buy one when she got into town; she wanted a new car anyway.

"Is she going to come here or to your apartment?" Meredith asked. It had been decided that Derek was going to stay with Meredith . . . Mark with Izzie and Carrie was going to stay in Derek and Mark's apartment. For the time being, she was going to put her stuff in storage until she got settled.

"I think she is going to just come on here. She knew it was our first day of class . . . I figured we could go to dinner and then get her settled over at the apartment."

"Alex wants to come with us to dinner tonight. I told him I was pretty sure we would be going. I hope that is ok." Alex had practically moved in with Bryant . . . he did sleep at the condo when he brought the occasional woman home . . . which was on the rare side . . . which was very different than before . . . Cristina.

"Oh god . . . I have to warn Carrie . . . Alex is trouble." Derek laughed with a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"He is my brother Derek . . . my twin brother . . . he is definitely not trouble." She rolled her eyes at him.

"He is trouble for my sister . . . he is Alex . . . likes to have a different girl a week." Derek stated the truth.

"He is Alex . . . and he likes the women . . . but, I think he is looking for something . . . the numbers have drastically decreased since . . . Cristina. He wants something more." She stated knowing he wanted this.

"Well . . . as long as it isn't my sister, we are good." Derek stated.

Meredith looked at Derek, "Derek."

"I know . . . I am sorry . . . I love you." Derek kissed her forehead.

"I love you too." She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. She knows they are going to be getting back into the bump and grind of school and they both knew moments like this wouldn't be as frequent as they have been in the last month.

"Did you get a dress for Saturday night?" He asked pulling away slightly to get his books together that he would need for the day.

"I may have found one." She stopped getting her books and smirked at him.

"I think I need a sneak peek tonight." He continued to pack his backpack, but, stopped momentarily to look at her.

"It isn't here . . . because I knew you would sneak a peak . . . you did say cocktail dress, right?" She smirked.

"I did and no underwear . . . that is the rule with cocktail dresses." He smirked.

"You aren't helping us . . . to get out of the door." She could feel herself wanting him again . . .

"I am not . . . and we do have to go." Derek pulled his pack around his shoulder.

"We do." Meredith smiled walking out the door as Derek walked out behind her, making sure everything was locked up before placing his hand on the small of his back . . . something that was natural for them now . . . a new semester . . . a new racing season . . . what will they bring?

138


	71. Challenging

"You will love this place, it is Meredith's favorite." Derek said to his sister while looking to Meredith in the review mirror and smiling.

"I do love it. They have the best hamburgers." She smiled knowing Derek would say something about her eating habits.

"I was hoping you would consider trying something new tonight. The grilled Mahi Mahi is really yummy." Derek knew he was fighting a losing battle, but it was worth a shot; although he loved this girl that had no shame in scarfing down a hamburger and fries . . . most girls just wouldn't.

"Leave the girl alone Derek, I think I will also have a hamburger with Mer." Carrie smirked at her brother sitting beside him. Meredith insisted she sit in the back although Carrie put up a hard fight. But, Meredith didn't mind.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you instantly." Meredith smiled seeing Derek rolling his eyes through the mirror.

"Just what I need . . . you two ganging up on me." He said.

They drove the rest of the way talking. Carrie was excited for this new time in her life. She needed a change. Her company didn't care that she was moving as many of their employees didn't live in New York, she was just one of the few. She was always up for adventure and that is what she saw this.

As they pulled up to the restaurant, "I wonder if Alex is here yet." Meredith said getting out of the car.

"Alex? He is coming tonight?" Carrie asked curiously. She had seen him at the race track when she was in town and had seen him on TV when the races were on and the view was . . . not bad.

"Meredith had to invite him. I don't really know why." Derek abruptly said.

"Derek, he has dinner with us a lot and I don't understand why . . ." Meredith stopped and looked at Carrie. He was worried about Carrie and Alex. This morning when they talked about it, Meredith thought, he was not really serious, but looking at him now, she knew he was very serious.

"How was the first day? Mine was . . ." He stopped when seeing the girl beside Derek. She knew his sister was going to be with them for dinner, but he never imagined she would be . . . so hot. He got a glimpse of her months ago when she was in town for the race, but didn't really get up close to her, but she was . . . beautiful.

Derek looked between his sister and Alex and instantly didn't like what he saw, but his sister was a smart woman, she would never go for someone like Alex . . . or so he thought.

"So, are we having burgers Meredith?" Carrie asked smiling.

"I think so. You will not be disappointed. I get the bacon cheeseburger with pepper jack cheese, it is the best." Meredith smiled.

"You know, I like women who aren't afraid to eat . . . real food." Alex smirked to Carrie.

"Do you even know what a real one is with the type of women you probably date?" Carrie matched the smirk Alex was giving her. She was good at this, she was a smart woman. This boy though . . . she was strangely attracted to him but knew he was like the others in the racing business, or she imagined he was, something about him was different though.

Derek breathed a sigh of relief; Carrie just gave it to him and obviously was not in any way going to succumb to him.

"I only date real women." Alex continued to challenge her.

"Then you don't date much." Carrie retorted.

"Ok, kids, let's play nice." Meredith smiled at both of them. She could feel the tension in the room, but it wasn't one of anger, definitely sexual.

The waitress came to take their order and they continued the conversation.

"Alex, you never answered about your first day today? How was it?" Derek asked curiously knowing he had Dr. Wright first thing this morning.

"He is not going to cut me a fu . . . a break." Alex stopped himself from saying 'fucking'. He knew what caused him to do it, but he couldn't believe it.

Meredith noticed the change Alex made mid sentence and was a little surprised. "Who? Dr. Wright?"

"Yes, that man . . . I think he is out to kill me. Just because I am Ellis Grey's son, I have more expectations than anyone else."

"He is just challenging you, pushing you harder to do your best. He did the same thing to me last year." Derek knew Dr. Wright really was hard on Alex and at times, felt terrible for him because Derek knew exactly what it felt like. He did it to him last year and still does.

"How were your classes, Toots?" Alex asked.

"Well, Dr. Lawrence, he was the same. At least Derek and Mark keep it interesting." She smiled at Derek.

"He is, something, isn't he?" Derek laughed.

"I don't envy you guys in anyway." Carrie laughed after hearing them all talk about their classes. She knew how hard Derek studied during his undergraduate program and was glad she was born with the talent she had for computer graphic design.

"Well, not everyone can be as lucky as you . . . getting right out of high school and offered a hundred thousand starting out doing graphic design." Derek rolled his eyes.

Carrie smirked a little, "If you are good . . . you are good and I am one of the best."

Alex's jaw dropped. He had never been with a woman so confident and now, he had to have her, no doubt about it, "You know . . . I am the best at many things."

"You are? I think my brother may have beaten you out this year on the track." She laughed.

Alex didn't know how to handle this woman which made her that much more appealing, "Not too many people know my special talents." He raised his eyebrow.

"That is not what I have heard, but what are the special talents?" She asked curiously not realizing she moved her body in closer to his, darkening her brown eyes a little.

Meredith noticed the way her eyes changed . . . just like Derek's did. She looked to see if Derek was watching this exchange and she knew, he wasn't going to be happy. Thankfully, he didn't seem to realize the change of eyes as much because he didn't see his own eyes when they changed. He didn't look happy, but right now, seemed ok.

"Wouldn't you like to find out?" Alex lowered his voice a little and leaned into her a little more.

Carrie couldn't help but feel . . . something deep in her core. There was something about him that she liked. She didn't want an ordinary guy. She loved her brother to death, but she didn't want someone like him. She wanted someone more like Mark, an ass, but deep down, a really great guy. She thought Alex may be that guy. She quickly took a drink of her water thankful when she saw their food arriving.

"You were right Meredith, this was good." Carrie said taking another bite of her hamburger trying not to make eye contact with Alex.

"When do you have to start back to work?" Derek asked Carrie.

"Work is always there. That is one problem with doing the kind of work I do; there are always projects to be done. I will be working tomorrow for at least a few hours. I have a layout due in three days."

"So, your firm is out of New York?" Alex was sure he heard mention of it at some time.

"It is."

"Then, how can you just move?" He wondered.

"Even in New York, I never went to the office. Most of the employees work from a remote location. In fact, very few of the employees live in New York. Some do, but, most do not. We have virtual meetings once a week and more if we need them. I will have to fly up there for a few days every month or two." She explained.

Meredith watched Alex and smiled. She had been around her brother enough to know, he was acting completely enamored by her, "Carrie, your job must be interesting."

"I love what I do and couldn't imagine doing anything else in the world. It was hard on the family when I chose to do this rather than be a doctor like everyone else. I didn't even go to college, but in my world, most of the greats do not. Like I said, if you are good, you are good. There are no two ways about it when it comes to fields like this." She was confident in her line of work just as the rest of her family was confident doctors.

They ate and had light conversation, but Meredith didn't miss the stolen glances between his brother and Derek's sister. Derek watched closely, unsure of exactly what was going on, but was starting to get more and more uncomfortable with Alex and his sister sitting here together and the prospect of them . . . made him sick.

Derek smiled at his sister after the waitress cleared the table, he had missed her so much and couldn't believe she was really going to be here . . . in town; however, he was more and more worried about the one boy he couldn't deal with her dating. "Carrie, when we leave here, Mer and I have to stop by the store, I hope you don't mind."

Before Carrie could say anything, Alex piped up, "Well, I can always take her to your apartment. I don't mind." He wanted to spend time with her, get to know her more. If that consisted of ripping her clothes off in the process, so be it. But, he knew this woman was different.

Derek looked at Alex and couldn't believe he would even suggest this. Before he could refute the offer, Carrie spoke up, "Sounds like a plan."

"NO. I will do it. Mer and I can stop at the store on the way back from the apartment." Derek was adamant and sorry he said anything at all.

Meredith knew exactly what Derek was doing and her brother deserved to at least go for this. She liked Carrie and knew they would be perfect for each other. When Carrie told them she wanted to move, Meredith actually thought her and Alex would be good together, but knew better than to breathe a word to Derek about it. Alex and Carrie were both very cocky and very sure of themselves . . . they also liked challenges and never shied away from one. "Derek, we are going to go to the store when we leave here and Alex is going to take Carrie to your apartment. We can go by tomorrow after class to make sure she doesn't need anything." She shot Derek a glare that told him, this was the way it was going to be.

"But, my car, the keys. I need to show her . . . " Derek started to protest.

"The keys to his car are on the kitchen counter for you. We stocked up the refrigerator yesterday for you, we went grocery shopping." Meredith stopped to smirk at Derek thinking about the time they had yesterday. Grocery shopping was always an event for those two.

He didn't even react to Meredith other than to glare at her, pissing her off. She looked to Carrie, holding back what she really wanted to say to Derek, "And if there is anything else you need, Derek and I will be a phone call away. We will see you tomorrow when we get done with school."

They sat looking at each other for a second. The tension was thick in the air and none of them liked it.

"No, I am taking her. Why don't you go with your fucking brother and let him take you home." Derek spat at Meredith getting up from the table, "Come on, we are leaving." He eyed Carrie demanding she get up and go with him.

"Derek, don't make a scene." Carrie got up and walked over to him.

"I won't if you come with me." Derek said under his breath to her.

"Stop . . . now." Alex stood up challenging Derek doing everything he could to keep from grabbing hold of Derek.

"You will not tell me what to do with MY family. Get out of my fucking way." Derek said in a low growl, grabbing Carrie's arm and leading her out.

Alex through enough money plus some on the table and followed them out motioning for Meredith to follow. Meredith knew . . . this was going to get ugly.

140


	72. Messed Up

"Derek, let me go now." Carrie said looking into his eyes.

"You are coming with me. Do you even know what you are doing? I should never have let you come here." He said angrily realizing he didn't have his own car, they were in Meredith's, but he had the keys. 

"STOP. You need to calm down. Meredith is not going to take much more of this." Carrie reminded him. 

"I am protecting my fucking sister. This is a family matter . . . she needs to take care of her fucking twin brother and keep him away from you." 

Carrie jerked free and turned to look at Derek in the eyes, causing him to stop abruptly, "This . . . was one reason I came here. Derek, you lose control sometime and that girl . . . you love her and it has to stop. You got most upset when she told you what you guys were going to do."

"No one is going to tell me what to do." Derek told her plainly. 

"I have a few more things to say and you are going to listen and not talk." Carrie looked in square in the eye. 

Derek gulped knowing his sister meant business, "First off, I am almost 23 years old, I can capable of making my own decisions. I have been living on my own in Manhatten for 4 years now . . . ON MY OWN. If I choose to go with Alex, you are going to let me."

"But . . . he . . ." Derek started to say, but was interrupted by Carrie, "STOP.", who noticed Meredith and Alex walking towards her. She looked to Meredith, trying to get her to realize to stay back a few more minutes to give her and her brother time to talk. 

"Alex, wait." Meredith said quickly. 

"I am not fucking waiting . . . he will not treat you or her like this." He kept walking. 

Meredith grabbed his arm, "Don't you think Carrie has this. Look at her."

He took a long hard look at her and realized, he had to stay back, "Fine, but if he . . . I will be on him and I don't care what you may say. I know you love him, but he can't . . . he has a temper, doesn't he?" Alex asked to his sister. 

"No more than you." Meredith said knowing Derek's was a little worse, but not by much sometimes and she knew if Alex went over there right now, things would be bad. 

Carrie was relieved when she realized they were staying away for a few more minutes because she had more to say to him without them interrupting. She also noticed Derek almost at a loss for words and wasn't even trying to say anything, "Secondly, Meredith, if you keep on, you will lose her. She and her twin have a special bond and you can't act like that with him or with her. She tried to make the conversation light by bringing up the grocery store and your dumb ass basically ignored her and went on a rampage. 'I'm Sorry' will eventually not be enough one day. Meredith is your family. She is your future and she is a part of this just as much as you and I are." She never took her eyes off of his. 

He had no idea what to say, people didn't stand up for him in this way. He stared at her at least 20 seconds not sure what to say. "Carrie . . . I." He broke the stare for a second and looked down before looking back up, "I am so glad you are here. I love Meredith so much but, I just . . . Alex is not the guy I think is a good choice and I can't help but tell you that."

Carrie was glad he seemed to have taken a deep breath and calm down a little which was good . . . very good for Derek. "And why not? His twin sister is the love of your life, what if . . . they are very much alike Derek."

"How do you know that and 'what if' what?" Derek asked. 

"You can see it, they are just alike. They adore each other and I am sure it wasn't easy when his biggest rival on the track started dating his twin sister." Carrie said remembering Derek saying a few things to her over the phone about it. 

"No, he was . . . it took a lot of getting used to." Derek sighed knowing it was not easy for Alex in any way when he and Meredith started exploring their feelings. 

"Then, I am going to go with Alex . . . Derek, I am not going to lie to you, I feel a certain pull to him and I want to explore that pull. He isn't like most guys and you have known me long enough to know, I don't go for 'most guys.'" 

"But, he is . . . you have no idea, he has girls and fucks them over. I don't want you to be another fuck over." Derek pleaded knowing his sister would do what she wanted, but he had to warn her. 

Carrie let out a laugh, "Since when have you known me to be a 'fuck over,' I know you don't want to hear this big brother, but, I usually have guys by the balls when I date them." 

Derek couldn't help but smile at his baby sister who he was so close to, "I forget, you aren't like the other Shepherd sister's . . . you are definitely your own mold and you can take care of yourself. Just be careful." 

"I am always careful. I never enter into anything I can't handle." She looked at him seriously in the eyes. 

"I really fucked up back there. I am sorry." Derek said shaking his head. 

"I am not the one you need to apologize to. Well, I am . . . but, there are others too. Let's join them, they are waiting for us by what I assume is Alex's car . . . his hot car." Carrie said, raising her eyebrows. 

"I love you and I am glad you are here. We just need to work on your taste in men." Derek laughed and put his arm around her to lead her over to Meredith and Alex. 

Carrie looked up at him, but couldn't help but laugh. She knew he was picking around with her now, "I am sure Alex was saying that to Meredith months ago when you came in the picture."

"I am sure he was." Derek still felt a little uneasy, but knew Carrie . . . she really could handle her own. He would still watch closely, very much like Alex did to him. The thing that worried him the most . . . he had been around Alex enough to know that he and his sister would actually be perfect together; he just didn't want to face that fact in any way.

"Meredith, please, just talk to me." Meredith drove her car, staying focused only on the road not saying a word to him. 

Derek sighed and sat back in his seat, running his hands through his hair. After a minute or two, Meredith spoke, "How do you think Alex felt?" 

Derek looked at her, unsure what to say. He had never really thought about it. "I have never thought about it I guess." 

"Well, it is time you should. He is my brother Derek . . . my twin brother who besides you is the most important person in my life. What would be so bad about him being with your sister, if it even comes to that?" She said frustratingly. 

Derek put his head back against the head rest on the passenger side. He really hadn't thought about any of this at all. It must have been hell for Alex when he and Meredith started dating although Derek wasn't known to have different women on his arm weekly like Alex. But, he had to admit to himself, he has been a different person since his time with Cristina. There were women, but not anywhere near the women before her. "Mer, Alex has women, many women. I just worry."

Meredith knew Alex had women; however, she also knew her brother well. She realized he was ready for someone and was ready to grow up and be in an adult relationship with feelings and all. "He has. Derek, I was . . . before I met you and before . . . things happened months before I met you, I wasn't that different than him. And now, I can't imagine even considering not being with you and being faithful to you." She said quietly, but very serious. 

"Do you think Alex is there?" Derek asked. 

"I think if he found the right person, yes, I do."

"I hope you are right? They . . . I have never seen Carrie like that." Derek admitted. 

"Yes, she challenges Alex in a way . . . that he needs. I hate to say it, but they are . . . almost perfect for each other." 

He continued to sit back in his seat, wondering if he could do this, really be ok with them if they pursue something, "I know." He barely got out knowing this was going to be hard for him, but he had to try. Alex gave him the chance to prove himself and he had to return the favor. 

Meredith couldn't believe Derek just admitted this, but she knew this was not easy for him as it wasn't easy for Alex. She knew what Carrie was feeling and it was hell. She and Derek were close, maybe not as close as the twins, but still very close. Derek wants to protect her always and she hopes he will allow them to try . . . like Alex did, "I love you." She said quietly. 

"Mer, I love you too. I know Alex gave a lot with me and I am going to try and do the same. But, he will know that I will kill him if he does anything to hurt her." He said looking to Meredith. 

"I wouldn't expect any less. I am sure there was threatening on his end as well." She giggled a little. 

"I will never give him a reason to kill me . . . he on the other hand . . ."

Meredith interrupted and took her hand away, "He won't either . . . he won't give you a reason either. Besides, they aren't doing anything; he is just taking her to your apartment."

"Yeah." Derek muttered out knowing . . . that was not all that would happen. He knew guys all too well, but he had to trust Carrie. He knew she wasn't the most innocent of girls. 

After a minute or so of driving, Meredith glanced over at him, "I am very proud of you."

Derek looked at her questioningly, "Oh yeah? For?" 

"You were really upset and you . . . I am glad you realized things before you got out of hand." She said nervously. 

Derek sighed, but couldn't help but smile on the inside, "Mer, I am really trying. I love you and I know you aren't going to keep giving me chance after chance. I have to work on it because losing you . . . is not an option and you deserve better than that." 

"I do. I deserve to have the love of my life." She said moving her hand to his that was resting on the center consol of the Touareg. 

He didn't realize how much he needed her soft touch on his at just this moment. He knew she wouldn't stand to be treated unjustly. He was really thankful his mom talked to him as well as his sister; coming from anyone else, he might not have listened, "And I am . . . the love of your life." 

"You are." She simply stated. 

"You are mine too, I love you Meredith." 

"I love you too." She was thankful he realized he was being an ass tonight before it was too late. She wanted to be there . . . with him every step of the way, but she wasn't going to be talked to and treated unfairly. 

They drove silently for a few minutes hand in hand in hand before Meredith said, "So you know . . . boys who act like asses need to be punished and I know one . . . that needs it right now for being a bad boy tonight." She had a naughty smirk plastered on her face.

"I think he would admit he was bad . . . an ass that definitely needs punishment. What might you have in mind for him?" 

"I was thinking . . . he definitely needs to be handcuffed and maybe whipped a few times." She laughed evilly. 

"I think . . . you need to put the petal to the metal and get home." He smirked thinking how much he did truly love this woman beside him and all of the things she did to drive him wild . . . he knew tonight would be a wild one. 

142


	73. The Party

**This is very close to being done. This is actually finished on the boards now . . . and I say another 5ish Chapters. I just wanted to go ahead and . . . give you some head's up. I do have another one . . . in the works though, Opposing Forces. I will actually post that the same time I post it on the boards so it will not be behind here. I also have Rancher's Paradise on here as well . . . that is in progress. Thanks for reading!**

They had all gotten through their first week in the new semester. Derek had not killed Alex yet, but kept a very close eye on him. Alex and Carrie were seeing more and more of each other and weren't trying to hide it. So far, Derek had to admit, Alex seemed captivated by his sister. He also knew Carrie could take care of herself; she had always been very independent. All four of them had dinner at Bryant's last night and they had a great time. Marissa had lots of questions for Carrie about Derek and what he was like as a child. Of course, Carrie told some really great stories. Derek had to admit, the night was good and he felt better about his sister and Alex, doing whatever it was they were doing. He didn't really care to think about what they were doing.

It was early Saturday evening and the night of the kick off to the new year for racing season. He knew Meredith had her dress early in the week, but she wouldn't let him see it. Meredith and Carrie wanted to get ready together, leaving Alex and Derek to get ready downstairs. The girls wanted Izzie to come and get ready with them which would include Mark hanging with the boys, but they had some things to take care of before the party and decided to meet them there. 

"You and Carrie . . . what is it with her?" Derek asked as they sat in the living room, already dressed, ready to go. 

Alex took his eyes from the TV to Derek's. He had no idea what to say to Derek . . . he was trying to sort the feelings out himself because the feelings, they were there and were very different than anything before, but he had no idea what exactly. She challenged him in a way no other had, "I like her." The minute Alex said it, he knew it sounded stupid. 

Derek watched him, his expression. He was surprised at what he was seeing. He expected some smart ass comment with a smirk, but instead, the look on his face was soft. "You like her?" 

"I do. I don't know what else to say to you." Alex didn't take his eyes off of Derek's. 

"Don't hurt her . . . I will . . ." He started to say until he saw Alex turn a small smile and interrupt him. 

"You will kill me, just like I will do to you. I get it . . . don't you think this is hard for me?" Alex got a very serious look on his face before continuing, "I mean, I am not this guy . . . I am not the guy to do this. I guess if Sloan can do it, I can to, but Derek, I am going to try like hell to do it. It just doesn't help it is with your sister." 

Derek actually was shocked and had no idea what to say. He had no idea what Carrie was thinking, but could see the stolen glances between her and Alex. "Don't give me a reason to kill you; just like I am doing my best not to give you a reason." 

"When you met . . . my sister, what made you know you wanted to be with her? I mean, you two are perfect for each other really. How do you get that way?" 

Derek couldn't believe it, he was asking for advice now. Not only that, it was apparent to Derek that Alex . . . may really like Carrie, "You just . . . it is hard to describe the feeling, but Meredith . . . when I am with her, she is it. It is the feeling I get anytime she is in the room . . . the feeling I get when I think of her. It is hard to describe it, but when you find it, you will know." Derek said wondering if Alex had found it. 

Alex looked down for a few minutes thinking and finally said, "Thanks, Derek. I am glad . . . things worked out like they have. My sister really loves you." 

"I am a lucky man. I know that." He stopped and looked over to Alex, "You can have it you know." Derek couldn't' believe he was saying this, but he could see the wheels turning in Alex. 

"I want it." Alex said seriously. 

After a few minutes of appearing as though they were watching the TV, but both really thinking about things, Alex said, "I wonder if the girls are about ready. We need to get going in about ten minutes or so." "You know them, they have to . . ." Derek said turning around when he heard the bedroom door open and heard clanking on the hardwood floor. 

Derek's jaw fell wide open the second he saw her . . . he didn't know what to even say or do in this moment. Meredith seductively smiled and swayed her hips perfectly coming down the stairs to meet him. He knew his sister was behind her, but he couldn't take his eyes off of his . . . goddess. 

"You look . . . wow." Derek was able to stand up off of the couch, although he had no idea how his legs were supporting him in this moment. 

"Do you like?" She bit her lower lip in sexy way. 

"Um . . . no, I love." He leaned in to her ear and whispered, "Do you think I can go all night seeing you in that dress and not wanting to rip it off?" 

"You better not, it was expensive and . . . just maybe, you will have easy access anyway without ripping it off." She said in his ear, breathing into it. 

"I may have to find out right now." He grinded his hips into her to let her feel . . . how she made him feel. 

"Derek." She moaned quietly in his ear feeling just how ready he was. 

"Bathroom, we need to go now . . . before we head out.""We need to get going, don't we?" Meredith said disappointed knowing they needed to go soon. 

"We have a few minutes and I have a feeling, that is all it is going to take." He continued to whisper. 

"Yes, I have to . . . or my legs will be . . . wet." 

"Bathroom." He said while nibbling on her ear lobe and lightly picking her up, taking her to the half bath downstairs. Before he even got the door shut his hands went under her dress. "Oh god." He moaned out when he felt she really didn't have panties on; she usually wore panties, hot and sexy one's, but not tonight. 

"Door, shut." Meredith muttered to remind him the door wasn't shut yet. 

He quickly shut the door, dropped his pants, turned her around with her back to him, bent her over, and pulled her dress up while sticking fingers from his free hand into her hot, awaiting pussy. "You are dripping.""Just fuck me, we have to go." Meredith yelled out more loudly than she wanted to. 

Derek knew they were desperate for a quick orgasm. Most of the sex they had was making love, but sometimes, they had quick, needful sex and this was one of those times. He quickly filled her perfect pussy with all of him, thrusting in and out until they were both shouting out in ecstasy not even remembering . . . the siblings that were in the living room. 

"It is about time you guys get your ass here." Mark said the second he saw the four walk up to he and Izzie. Cocktails and heavy hor'dourves started at 6, but no one showed up on time; so, they had decided to meet at 6:30 which is when most people show up to things like this. 

"Don't look at us. Something held us up." Alex said first glancing at Carrie and then at Derek and his sister and rolling his eyes. 

"Damn, Shep, you couldn't wait could you." Mark grinned and shook his head. 

"In this dress, no way and I would assume, you didn't wait either, judging by the smug look on your face." He flashed his McDreamy smile to Meredith hoping she didn't get mad for the comment. 

"Like you said, look at the dress on that girl." All three boys looked at the girls who had gathered next to them, trying to ignore the conversation they knew was . . . boy talk. The girls started laughing hysterically when they noticed they all had dresses with bows on them. 

"Ladies, would any of you like a drink?" Alex asked as the guys wanted to get drinks for them all to give them a chance to . . . do what girls do. 

"That sounds great. I want an Icebreaker tonight." Meredith replied. She was becoming a connoisseur of mixed tequila drinks. When the group did go out drinking, she had decided she didn't want to down shots of tequila, so after doing research on different cocktails, she has found her favorite's with tequila in them. 

"Oh, what is in that? Carrie asked curiously. 

"Tequila, a little triple sec, grapefruit juice and a little grenadine. It is oh, so good." Meredith answered. 

"That sounds perfect, I will have one." Carrie replied. 

"Izz?" Mark asked. 

"Amaretto Sour." She smiled watching all three of them walk off immediately noticing them getting stopped by different people. They knew it would be like this most of the night, especially with Alex and Derek, but it gave time for the girls to chat. 

"So, Carrie, you and Alex are here together." Izzie asked curiously the second the boys walked off. 

"No, he needed a date and I . . . don't know anyone in town and thought it would be good to get out and honestly . . . who wouldn't want to wear this dress out either?" Carrie quickly replied. She would never admit . . . she wanted to be here with Alex. 

"Well, you look fabulous in that dress." Izzie said quickly. 

"I do . . . we all look fabulous tonight. Look at them . . . the boys are over there fetching us drinks." Carrie laughed causing all the girls to look at them. 

"And I bet they are talking about us, as we are about them." Meredith giggled. 

"God, they look smoking hot tonight." Mark said to the other boys. 

"She does." Alex said never taking his eyes off of Carrie standing at the bar waiting for their drinks. 

"My sister does look great, doesn't she? As does your sister!" Derek chuckled a bit knowing it would cause a reaction out of him. 

"Fuck you." Alex growled jokingly. 

"Ah, There is the Alex I know." Derek laughed. 

"You and Carrie are fucking." Mark looked at Alex seeing it all in his eyes. 

Derek shot Mark eyes that told him to shut the hell up, "Don't answer that, I don't need to hear about . . . that shit about my sister." Derek said quickly. 

"Just like I don't care to hear about your escapades with my sister, but I had to hear that shit before leaving." Alex scowled this time, not so jokingly. He had heard them more times then he cared to, but he was glad his twin sister had found . . . someone that made her so happy. 

Just then, the bartender had their drinks ready for them and the girls. They gathered them and headed back over to where the girls were. The entire time they were trying to get back there, they were stopped by other drivers wanting to talk to the #1 and #2 finishers from last season. Derek wanted to believe this season would be the same, but he also knew his time was much more limited than it once was. School was really getting harder all the time and Meredith . . . he and Meredith were better than ever. 

"Well, I wasn't sure you were going to make it back over here." Meredith smiled to Derek. 

"I had to make it back to the hottest girl in the room." He gave her the drink she ordered, put his arm around her shoulders, and leaned into her ear, "And I can't wait to see what is underneath the dress tonight." 

Meredith shuddered at the thought, wondering if there was anywhere they could go right now, before she could suggest it, they heard someone call out. 

"Derek Shepherd and Alex Grey." He heard from behind him as all 6 people were talking. 

Derek turned around and smiled as Alex looked on, it was the owner of the track in Arizona, "Hello, Mr. Carlton." Derek said shaking his hand.

"Who is this beautiful woman you have on your arm tonight? You usually come alone to events like this." He smiled and looked at Meredith. 

"This is Meredith Grey, my girlfriend." He smiled proudly knowing he was lucky man to have her. 

"Grey? Any relation to you, Alex?" Mr. Carlton asked curiously. 

"Actually, she is my twin sister." Alex never cared for Mr. Carlton and that wasn't changing now. 

"Well, it is nice to meet you Meredith." He said to Meredith before turning to look at Mark and Alex, "I see both of you have another woman on your arm tonight, always someone new."Mark wanted to say something loud and clear, but Alex actually spoke up first, "This is Carrie . . . Carrie Shepherd and Izzie Stevens and with all due respect Mr. Carlton, neither of them is just another woman on our arm." Alex seethed. 

"Shepherd, I am assuming you are Derek's sister? You guys look alike in the face." 

"You know what they say about people who assume, they make ASSes out of themselves." Carrie said quite frank. 

The rest of them tried to hold their smirks that were quickly forming. This was Carrie though; she always had something like this to say, "Well, I hope all of you have a good night." Mr. Carlton said. 

"Thank you, you too." Derek said quickly ready for him to leave. 

The second he walked off, they all started laughing. Alex never took his eyes off of the beautiful woman with him; he couldn't believe how perfect Carrie was . . . for him. He never thought he would find someone like her, but he knew if he ever did, he would be holding on to her. 

"Hey Toots, let's go and grab another drink." Alex suggested before leaning into Carrie, "Can I get you anything?" He asked softly. 

"Your cock." Carrie said plainly in his ears. 

Alex swallowed hard and had no idea what to say. One thing he learned about her is she wasn't a whore and she didn't sleep around. They have spent a lot of time together the past week and he realized she called most of the shots but, made it seem like it was actually his idea or his shot to call. They hadn't actually had intercourse yet, although, they had done just about everything but that. He was thinking that tonight, it would happen. He couldn't get out of his mind those few minutes when Meredith and Derek were in the bathroom before they left; they had a major make out session themselves in the living room, enough of one for him to know she had on a thong under her dress that he wanted to see. "Ok. I will be back with one for you." He was able to challenge her a little further. This is what they did. 

"I look forward to it." She smirked as Alex and Meredith walked to the bar. 

"Carrie, are you enjoying yourself?" Derek asked the minute they walked off. 

"This is pretty amazing. I mean, no wonder you are a cocky shit though, as much as Alex is." She smiled at her big brother. 

"But, you like . . . my cocky shit . . . and Alex's?" He asked questioning her on her status with Alex. 

"I do . . . both." 

"Be careful with him. I am sure you have noticed the girls . . . looking." 

"I can handle him. He . . . he challenges me." 

"I know you can. Actually, you two are kind of perfect for each other. But, I am still keeping my eye on him." 

"And I wouldn't expect anything less." She smiled at her big brother, noticing him looking over at Meredith, "You really love her." 

"I do." 

"So, when will you ask her to marry you?" 

"Oh . . . I am not sure Carrie. I mean, I love her, really love her and we have a long road ahead of us, but I want to . . . I would do it . . . now, if I knew we were ready." 

"Wow. That is great Derek." 

"It is." He smiled, looking to his girlfriend and twin brother. 

"Hey, Shep, we are going to get going. Izz isn't feeling great and we should get going. I will see you guys tomorrow evening, right? To study?" 

"Yeah, sounds good. Hope you feel better, Izz." Derek said. 

Mark and Izzie went to walk out and didn't notice the man lurking at the door, who had his eyes fixed on Meredith . . . and her twin brother. He was shocked to see Meredith with him and not another bimbo, but things can change in a year . . . and he was ready to return to racing this year . . . 

145


	74. The Return

The second week of school flew by very quickly with them studying; Alex and Carrie were seeing each other as often as they could. Bryant and the kids loved having Carrie around although she was taking some of his time away from them; Bryant was getting back on his feet and ready to start dating again.

Izzie was much better, it seemed just a few days of being under the weather and she was back to normal. They were all anxious about tonight, the first race of the season.

"Come on girls, let's hurry. I need to see Derek before he goes into his zone or whatever. He is waiting for me now." Meredith yelled to Izzie and Carrie who were getting ready in her bathroom.

"We are coming, we are coming." Izzie said rolling her eyes, but giggling a little.

"Is she always like this?" Carrie asked.

"She gets . . . race days are always like this. It can't be easy in her situation. I mean, she has Derek and Alex. From what I can tell, she has always been Alex's biggest fan. She knows all about it, I mean, I don't know girls who knows anything about race cars, but Mer, she knows everything." Izzie informed Carrie.

"Yes, when I met her months ago at the track, I got the sense she really did love the track and supported her brother." Carrie added.

"I think she gets even more nervous now with both of them racing. She gets nervous for them about winning and . . . the danger of racing. You don't get worried?"

Carrie thought for a second, she didn't think about it much. Racing was something Derek was always interested in, but she never got to into it other than to support him, "I guess I just don't think about it."

"Well, Meredith, just wait . . . she is very intense." Izzie warned.

"Then, we shouldn't keep her waiting." Carrie smiled, grabbed her clutch that she decided went with her outfit for the night and headed downstairs with Izzie following.

"Thank god, it is about time. We have to go. Derek just called and he needs my opinion on something for the car." Meredith rambled on.

"Then, let's go. I'll drive if you want me too and drop you off. I know where the VIP parking is." Carrie suggested seeing how nervous Meredith was, but holding it together well. She had to admire that in Meredith even when she met the family.

"Good idea." Meredith suggested.

Right before they pulled up, "I am nervous for them tonight. I mean, they both had good runs yesterday at practice, but they both seemed distracted or pretty rusty." Meredith said.

"It is the first race; Alex said it was pretty normal for them all to be a little off." Carrie and Alex actually talked a little last night in bed about the race tonight. Alex had stayed with her a few times at Derek's apartment although she was pretty sure she was just going to be taking it over completely. She and Derek talked about it a few days ago, but he didn't know how to approach the conversation with Meredith. They knew that would be the next step, but it would mean much bigger things for Derek and Mark. They all had agreed to Mark staying at Izzie's and Derek staying at Meredith's in order to give Carrie some time to get settled, but neither boy had any intention of ever moving back, so, it seemed like the logical thing.

"Oh, it is very normal and maybe that is why I worry more. I mean, it is dangerous and I worry every race if they will be ok. I mean, it was bad when it was just Alex, but now, Derek . . . he is my . . . everything." She clasps her hands together, not letting go.

Meredith was thankful they were pulling up to the track, needing to get in there to see Derek and look at the car. She knew it rode good yesterday, but, he wanted her opinion on tires knowing it was something she had very good sense about when it came to driving.

"I will see you in there." Meredith quickly opened the door and went in the VIP entrance.

She walked straight to where Derek's pit was, knowing Alex's pit was almost completely opposite Derek's and she knew she needed to try to get by there before the race started.

"Hurry your ass up, will you?" Mark said immediately when he saw Meredith as he was keeping look out for her.

"What is going on?" She asked curiously.

"He is freaking out a bit. You know Shep. Well, you don't know this, but he kind of has a minor freak out before the first race of the season. He always has even when he raced in smaller leagues. He just wants everything to be perfect and he needs you with him. I have been replaced." Mark laughed a little thinking about that.

Meredith giggled with Mark, "Let's go."

"There you are." Derek went straight to her and wrapped her up in his arms, "I needed you here. I should have just let you come with me when I came."

"Derek, you are fine." Meredith held him tightly.

"I love you." Derek pulled away and kissed her.

"I love you, too. Let's go and take a look, shall we." Meredith said as she and Derek walked closer to the car, as Mark stood back and watched them interact.

"Hey, do you know her?" The man asked as Mark stood there.

"Lance?" Mark asked, turning to see the man who had just disappeared from racing without an explanation.

"The one and only."

**Update 146**

"What is going on man? You just disappeared." Mark said shaking his hand. He didn't know him well, but he had been around as a driver for a few years now.

"Yeah, well, shit happens, but I am back. Not too many people know yet except the people who have to know. I guess I will be making my grand entrance tonight." He smirked.

"I guess you will." Mark couldn't quite place it, but Lance really seemed to be acting strange, continuing to look around at people.

"There you are." Izzie smiled widely seeing Mark, but noticing quickly he was talking to someone that was dressed as though he was a driver. Izzie had never seen him around before.

"Here I am. Izzie, Carrie . . . this is Lance. He is a driver although he just disappeared last season, but he is back." Mark made the introductions, but kept a close watch on Lance. Something about him seemed off.

"Well, hello girls. I must say Sloan, two beautiful women tonight . . . I am impressed." Lance continued to have a sly smirk plastered to his face.

"Let's get a few things straight right now, Lance or whoever the hell you are. I am definitely not some woman with Sloan and secondly, I could have your balls in the back of your throat in a matter of seconds, so I would wipe that silly ass smirk off of your face and worry about the race." Carrie said clearly to Lance before turning to Izzie, "I am going to find Alex. He just called to ask where we were and told me where I need to go. So, I will see you in a bit." She said to Izzie before whipping around and going towards Alex's pit.

"Damn, that girl is hot." Lance said feeling himself needing her.

"She is . . . but she is off limits. She is dating Alex and is Shepherd's sister." Mark said clearly as he also took Izzie in his arms, a little more possessively than normal.

"So, Grey and Shepherd know each other then?" Lance was curious as to how much people may or may not know about the past.

"Mer, Alex's twin sister, and Derek are dating . . . hell, they are practically married." Izzie smiled looking up at Mark as she said it.

"They are what?" Lance said feeling the sinking in his stomach. He had no idea. He assumed she was with Alex at the party the other night when he saw them, not with Derek Shepherd who got any and everything he wanted and was a hell of a driver.

"Do you know Meredith?" Mark asked curiously seeing the look on Lance's face.

"Oh . . . no. I don't know her." His blood was boiling. Derek Shepherd was not going to have her. If he couldn't have her, no one would.

"Well, we should get over to him. It was good seeing you man. I am sure a group of us will be going out tonight afterwards to The Temple." Mark said nicely, still not sure really what he thought of Lance, but it was what they did, be casual and invite other driver's out of courtesy.

"I haven't ever been there."

"Well, a lot of medical students go there and since we are all . . . medical students, we go there a lot." Izzie said cheerfully loving The Temple and Suds, the bartender who they named.

"You guys are medical students?" He asked curiously.

"We both are as is Meredith, Alex, and Derek." Izzie answered.

"So, she did it." He said under his breath.

"What?" Mark asked curiously watching his every mood. He didn't seem interested in Izzie, but did seem interested in anything having to do with Meredith.

"Nothing. I need to get going. It was good . . . seeing you and I am sure . . . I will see you around. Oh, and maybe for now, it would be best to wait to mention you saw me, you know, I wouldn't' want anyone to have . . . pre-race jitters and ruin my grand entrance." Lance didn't want to be mentioned in front of Meredith for sure, not yet anyway. He had no idea how they would really react.

Izzie and Mark watched him walk off, Mark thought Lance was acting a little strange, but decided it had to do with him being gone for a year and tonight being his first night back, "So, you guys finally made it. Derek was shitting a brick needing Meredith here and it didn't help when he called her and she said you guys were holding you up."

"Yeah, let's go and find them, shall we?"

"We can, but I want to do this first." He wrapped her up with both hands, pulling her desperately to his lips for a long and passionate kiss, "I love you."

"I love you too." Izzie said in a daze, following Mark over to Derek's pit.

147


	75. Go and Wait

"Who the hell?" Meredith said wondering who was driving the new car that seemed to be staying in the pack with Alex and Derek.

"What?" Carrie asked curiously quickly seeing that Meredith was really intense when it came to the boys racing.

"Who is that? In that car? It seems like a new car, but, isn't a new car. I have seen it before." Meredith wondered who drove that car because it seemed familiar to her.

"I have a program; you know I had to get one, just in case you ever do a scrapbook or something." Izzie said cheerfully.

"Seriously, do you think I am a scrapbook . . . happy . . . crazy person?" Meredith laughed at Izzie, but, quickly snatched the program out of her hand. Meredith hated scrapbooking on principal because it seemed like the kind of thing really cheerful and creative people do . . . and she considered herself neither of those things really.

"Meredith, it is one of the fastest growing industries . . . maybe Carrie will want to use it . . . you can do amazing things with digital scrapbooking as well." Izzie suggested. She loved scrapbooking and found any chance she could to do it.

"Actually, I just read an article on digital scrapbooking. I am more into the graphics though. Although, I would love to have that picture of Derek and do some morphs of it. I think I could come up with some cool stuff." She didn't have many of him in his racing gear.

"So, do you do photo editing as well?" Izzie asked almost yelling over the noise.

"I do a little of it on the side. It is more of a hobby for me." Carrie smiled. She never had too many girlfriends and even though Izzie was perky, she liked her.

Just then, they noticed Meredith look up . . . dropping the program without even realizing and had a look of shock in her eyes, "No fucking way." She breathed out, just starring at his car . . . she remembered . . . it was ihis/i car.

Carrie and Izzie just watched her for a second, she was turning as white as a ghost and they weren't sure why. Izzie picked up the program that had fallen and looked at the names, trying to find the car that she was curious about. Izzie saw the car and saw the picture of the driver, "Oh, I met him before the race. He seemed ok, but a little strange I suppose."

"You? What?" Meredith looked at her in a state of complete shock.

"Yeah, he was a fucking idiot and I wanted to shove his balls in his throat the way he was prowling at me." Carrie said rolling her eyes when she saw the picture.

"You . . . talked to him . . . he is really . . . oh, god, I am going to be sick." Meredith ran down from the seats they were in and quickly made it to the ground before the contents of her stomach came out.

"What is going on?" Carrie asked curiously to Izzie watching Meredith from the seats, quickly getting up to go to her.

"I have no idea. I mean, he was a little creepy, but he didn't seem terrible." Izzie said.

"Yeah, but there is something more, I knew it the second I laid eyes on that son of a bitch. This is not good." Carrie said to Izzie before they reached Meredith.

Meredith just wanted to crawl into a ball and die right now. She never wanted to see him again and now . . . she was with Derek and was happy. They were talking more and more about getting married and having it all, but Lance . . . it could change things . . . everything.

"Mer, why don't we find something to drink for you and find somewhere quiet? I know Derek said we had passes up to the box, but you prefer to watch from the stands, but maybe . . . we should go up there." Carrie suggested knowing she needed to get somewhere to calm down.

"He can't be here . . . he can't . . . no, this isn't happening." She just kept saying almost like in a trance.

Neither girl had any idea what to do. Meredith was starring straight ahead at the track with tears streaming down her face, continuing to mumble to herself words that they couldn't make out.

Carrie stood there rubbing her back. Izzie left to go and find Mark. She knew where the box was he was in, but knew he would be busy. She just needed to see if he knew anything about why she would be acting this way. Maybe even Brad would know something.

"Miss, you can't go in there." A guy stopped Izzie from going in the box.

"I have a pass. Shit, I left the pass, please, sir, I need to see Mark Sloan."

"He is busy, ma'am." The attendant said.

"Just tell him Izzie is here and something is wrong with Meredith, trust me, if Derek finds out something is wrong with her and we didn't get at least Mark, we will all be in big trouble." Izzie knew this was the best thing to do. She knew Mark's right hand man was with him at all times to be the call guy for Derek, just in case Mark was called out.

"Ok, miss, I will go and get him."

"Fine." Izzie rolled her eyes.

After 30 seconds or so, she saw him come out, "This better be good. We are in a hell of a race, but the guy said you seemed to be worried."

"It is Meredith. She is . . . something is wrong?"

"What?" Mark looked with worry.

"Well, something with Lance, that driver we saw before the race."

"Lance? He said he didn't even know her. What is going on?" He was a little confused.

"I don't know Mark, but she didn't know who drove the car that was staying up with Derek and Alex, she looked at the program and turned white, ran down, puked everywhere, and is now in some kind of weird trance." Izzie said concerned.

"Oh god. I have no idea babe. Where is she now?"

"Carrie is with her, but Mark, I have never seen . . . it is bad. Something bad happened."

"Let me see if Brad may know anything and I know I need to take care of her while Shep finishes this race. He would have nothing different I am sure. But, somehow I have to give a reason for Moby to finish calling the race for Derek instead of me. So, give me a few minutes, and I will be right out."

"I am sorry, I had no idea what to do and I thought maybe you would know." Izzie said worried.

"No, you did the right thing. Shep would want me to do this . . . and Alex too. Why don't you get on back to her, and I will be down in a minute. I need to find a good reason to tell Shep Moby is going to call and I need to talk to Brad. He and Alex are pretty tight. He may know something."

"I hope so."

"Me too or Derek . . . I just hope we figure this out before this race is over because I swear if that man hurt her in any way . . . Derek will kill." Mark knew his best friend well and knew no one hurt his family and Meredith, she was his everything.

**Update 148**

"I am ok. I am breathing and . . . oh god. I bet they don't know." Meredith said to Carrie.

"Don't know what?" Carrie asked curiously.

"He . . . he can't be here. That isn't him; it has to be someone else." She said trying to convince herself he really wasn't there.

Carrie had no idea what to say and was thankful when she saw Izzie coming back. "He is coming." Izzie said quietly to Carrie as she fully understand who Izzie was talking about.

They had no idea what to say or do so they just stood with Meredith as she had tears still flowing out.

"Meredith . . . look at me." Mark said to her the second he got to them.

"No, I can't. You can't look at me, no one can." She said shutting her eyes.

"Meredith, open your eyes, and look at me." Mark demanded saying it slowly, lightly touching her arm to let her know, he was there . . . and was not going to be leaving until she looked at him.

Meredith slowly raised her head, opened her eyes, and looked at him.

"Good, good. The race will be over soon. Why don't we go and wait . . . behind the pit. The race is almost over and Derek is in the lead right now. He will want to see you right after."

"No, he can't . . . he will . . . oh god." Meredith didn't even know what to say.

"Mer, what is going on? Do you know Lance?" Mark asked plainly knowing he needed to figure this out because she was really upset and Derek . . . he could only imagine if Derek knew . . .

"Do you know him? Do you know what kind of man he is? He is a monster. Yeah, I know Lance . . . he is the guy to fuck a girl, get her pregnant, and call her a whore and leave . . . yeah, I know Lance." Meredith starred hard into Mark's eyes, but he never took his eyes off of her for a second.

Carrie and Izzie just stood there watching, in shock. Both of them had a feeling, Meredith knew those things . . . because she . . . experienced it first hand.

"Why is he here?" Meredith asked after a few silent seconds, still not quite believing he was really there. She was trying to take deep breaths in order to regain some of her composure.

"I have no idea. He is a driver, I mean, he kind of just seemed to have disappeared last season and no one knew where he went." Mark said cautiously thinking there was a perfectly good reason he wasn't around.

"Does Derek or Alex know . . . he is here?" Meredith asked knowing the answer to that because she was pretty sure, if they had realized, there would have been . . . quite a show before the race, but she was pretty sure they fireworks would fly after the race.

"I don't know." Mark said honestly.

"They don't. If they did . . . they don't." She knew they didn't know. She also knew how sly Lance was and realized it would be easy for him to snake his way in without being noticed, he was good at that.

"Let's go wait for Derek behind his pit, the race is about over." Mark put his arm around Meredith like one of her brother's would do.

She knew the end of the race was coming, but she couldn't even focus on any of that in this moment. She had no idea why now . . . he would show up. She was happy . . . her and Derek were doing great. Any time the temper started to flare, he was doing a great job pulling back, but this . . . she couldn't imagine what he would do and Alex . . . he thought Alex was going to kill him the last time.

149


	76. He Would Have His Chance

"I did it, but I want to know who the asshole was that was trying to bump me and Alex out there, the fucker wouldn't stop and the fucker you got to call for you wouldn't tell me his name, he said he didn't know. But, I won!!" Derek was smiling hugely and was very excited as he came out of the window of his car the second he pulled up to the pit. He quickly stopped as he took his helmet off and saw Mark standing beside Meredith with Carrie and Izzie standing a few steps behind her.

Meredith couldn't even look up at him. She wanted to run and kiss him and tell him congratulations, but in that minute, she couldn't because she felt like . . . her whole world she had built up was about to come crashing down. He would have to face who she really was . . . instead of the image he has of her. She knew life couldn't always be as perfect as it had been in the last few months and it was spiraling downward, fast.

"Meredith?" Derek took the few steps he needed to be standing right in front of her, "look at me." He said.

She looked up and Derek immediately sharply breathed in, not sure why her eyes looked like she had been through the ringer and back, "What the hell is going on?" Derek said a little louder at the other people around him, never taking his eyes off of Meredith knowing there was . . . dread in her eyes. Something big was happening; he had never seen this look in her eyes, like she was losing everything.

Meredith couldn't talk and just kept focused on him when Mark spoke up, in a low tone, "Derek . . . you remember . . . Lance Dawson?"

Derek felt anger immediately boil up inside him just hearing his name. He turned hard to look at Mark, square in the eyes with anger, "Yeah, I know who the fuck he is . . . and why would you even bring that fucking bastard up." He was pretty sure he didn't want to know the reason why Mark brought him up.

Carrie got immediately nervous seeing Derek like this, knowing he was about to blow his stack. They still hadn't gotten anything out of Meredith. When they got to the pit as the race was nearing the last few laps, she sat quietly behind everyone, not saying a word, with tears slowly falling down her face. They didn't know how much to push, but all they knew . . . it had something to do with Lance.

Mark had no idea what to say because judging by Derek's reaction, there was no doubt he knew . . . why Meredith was so upset about seeing him in the program as a driver, "Derek, you need to calm . . . I mean, you won the race. Let's focus on that and . . ."

"Shut the fuck up." Derek cut Mark off, needing to talk to Meredith. He took a deep breath to gain his composure and in a lower tone he started, "Mer . . . honey, why would . . . I mean, you aren't ok and Mark mentioned . . . he is here, isn't he? It was his car, wasn't it?" Derek was doing everything he could to remain calm . . . he knew he had raced against that car many times, but he figured it was another driver, that no way Lance Dawson would show his ass ever again.

Derek knew . . . by the look on her face, it was him. He shut his eyes and took her in his arms, knowing that all his anger had to be gone for a few seconds because the love of his life needed him to be there, not running off, there would be time for that . . . but, right now, she needed him. It took every ounce of his being no to run . . . and bet the shit out of him . . . and knowing how he felt right now . . . he could kill . . .

"I thought I would never see him again, ever. I promise Derek, I had no idea he would. God, I am so sorry." She sobbed into his chest as the other three looked on.

Carrie heard her phone ring, interrupting this intense moment; shsaw it was Alex. She didn't know if she should answer, but she decided too. "So, aren't you going to come and congratulate me although, your stupid ass brother beat me out." She heard him say.

She had no idea what to say to him, "My stupid ass brother is just better, get over yourself." She knew she had to play this cool, like everything was ok. She was glad to see . . . Derek just being there for Meredith, but Carrie had a feeling, Alex would let his anger spill over because as much as he loved his sister, he couldn't comfort her in the same way Derek could. She also wasn't sure if Alex knew anything about whatever it was that had Meredith so upset. She figured, from everything he has said, that he would know exactly what the problem was because he and Meredith knew everything . . . about each other. She knew . . . brothers . . . would protect at all costs.

"I will just come down there and you can give me that kiss down there. I need congratulate him anyway . . . he and Mer must be happy." Alex said; he was truly happy for his sister.

Before Carrie could say anything to try and stall, she heard him say, "See you in a second." And a click . . . He had no idea . . . what he was walking into.

--

Carrie was sitting at The Temple thankful she was able to call Alex back quickly at the track to tell him they would just meet him at The Temple before he came down to Derek's pit. Izzie and Mark went to get drinks as Carrie sat at the table they had found for all 6 of them. The other three would be on their way, but Alex had a few things he needed to attend to with the car and Meredith and Derek needed a few minutes to pull it together. They were glad Carrie was able to call him back and just meet them at The Temple. Meredith knew Alex and knew . . . things would not be good when he finds out. He will be a little different than Derek, she was sure. Carrie was pretty sure, if Derek knew, Alex definitely did.

"Here ya go." Izzie handed Carrie her drink and sat down with Mark beside her with his arm around her.

"Thanks." She said quietly.

"Carrie, everything will be ok." Mark knew she was worried, it was written on her face and she was almost as close to a sister to him as she was to Derek.

"I hope. I am just glad Alex is meeting us here."

"I am too and you owe me." Carrie heard from behind her and turned around to see Alex smiling, looking down at her adoringly.

"I don't owe anything . . . to losers and for the record, anything behind first place . . . is a loser." She smirked.

"Then, next time, I will make sure to win, beat your brother. You should look at it as . . . I did win, right behind your brother." Alex sat beside her with his arm around her chair, his face getting dangerously close to hers.

She looked in his eyes, feeling his breath on hers, "Well, in that case . . ." She forcefully put both hands on both sides of his face and pulled his head into hers and kissed him, hard and passionately on the lips.

He quickly moaned in her mouth, not thinking she would do this, but he also knew she liked to be in control and in this moment, he was happy to let her have it. They were like dynamite together and both knew it would always be that way with them. But, it was exactly what each of them needed in a . . . possible girlfriend/boyfriend. They hadn't talked about anything of that nature; they were having fun, hanging out and didn't talk about a status at this point. But, they realized that talk would come eventually.

Carrie pulled back, needing a breath, both of them needing to breathe. "I think I will come in second more often." Alex smiled while their lips were just inches apart still.

"Only if my brother gets first . . . but, you know, think about what would happen if you win first . . . even if it is at the expense of my brother. I mean, he doesn't need to win all the time, he is cocky enough as it is." She whispered the second part moving her forehead in to his a little.

"I guess it is a family trait." Alex said with that look of a smart ass, but ducked in a little as well.

"Are you calling me cocky, Mr. Grey?" She challenged him, in a seductive type of way, tipping her head up a little.

Mark and Izzie just kind of watched these two back and forth. Mark had no idea what to say, except he was seeing something he never thought he would see from Carrie, except she was still the same Carrie, not love sick . . . in the same way most girls are, but love sick in . . . a very Carrie way. Mark had gotten to know Alex pretty well too and up until tonight, wasn't too sure about the two of them together. Alex was a fellow manwhore, but maybe . . . Alex was a recovering manwhore, much like he had become since meeting Izzie. Carrie was his little sister practically, but this . . . he almost couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"I do not need to see my lil sis . . . lip locked again, so you two . . . back away." Mark growled a little at both of them as he said it, playfully, but getting his point across.

"Oh shut up, Markie, you are just jealous you aren't lip-locked at this moment." Carrie quickly rolled her eyes at him and sat back in her chair.

"I could be . . . lip-locked that is." Mark smirked at Carrie and then at Izzie.

"You can, can you?" Izzie joined in this round of playfulness.

"You know you can't stay away from these lips . . . they are perfect." Mark charmingly replied to Izzie.

"Do you want to bet on it?" Izzie challenged.

"I knew I liked you." Carrie said to Izzie before looking to Mark and saying, "My money is on her."

"I guess you chicks have to stay together, but it is a bet, you would lose if you bet on her." He smirked at both girls as he stood up. "Come on Alex, drinks . . . we should get you one and another round for the girls."

"Women, Mark, we are women." Carrie reminded him as both boys walked off, with Mark rolling his eyes one last time, both of them gave a quick kiss to both women before they walked off.

"So, do you think they will be here soon?" Izzie asked a little nervously.

"I hope so. I mean, I know things were hard with them earlier but I am proud of him though, he was there for her as hard as I know that was for him . . . to not go running down and kill Lance although we have no idea what for." Carrie sighed.

"It must have been bad. Mer, she is really strong, but tonight, she was weak and Derek held her up."

"He did and I am proud of him for that, but he looked just as . . . torn up. They were holding each other up." Carrie looked around and smiled slightly when she saw them walk through the door, "It looks like they are here." She added.

"She looks . . . she isn't ok . . . neither of them are." Izzie said quietly before they reached the table.

"Hey guys." Derek forced a smile with his arm tightly around Meredith's waist. He also kissed her temple before he guided her to her seat.

"Where are the boys? Did you girls scare them away?" Derek asked, trying to act normal. He and Meredith decided to try and act normal. Alex would find out soon enough, but not tonight if they could help it.

"Women, Derek . . . we are women and no, they are getting drinks." Carrie rolled her eyes.

"Of course, women . . . Mer . . . honey . . . do you want something?" He asked lovingly after rolling his eyes at his baby sister.

"Get 2 shots of tequila. I will start there." Meredith sighed.

Derek sighed knowing she didn't really need this, but she was going to do it . . . and he wasn't going to stop her, not tonight. He would be there with her every step of the way through the night and the next day.

"I am going to join the boys to get drinks. I will be right back." Derek kissed her again, on the temple before getting up to go to the bar. He turned back and shook his head, looking at her. He loved her so much and didn't want this to tear her apart. They would be ok . . . they had to be ok.

On the opposite side of the room, there was a table . . . in the dark corner where someone was watching the entire exchange that was happening at the table for 6. Lance had some questions, for one, he wondered where the hell his baby was and secondly, did Derek Shepherd really know the whore he was obviously fucking.

"Two more. I need two more." Meredith said 10 minutes after the first two shots of tequila started to take effect.

Derek knew she was going to do this and there was no stopping her. He shook his head a bit and went to get up to go to the bar, giving her a kiss on the forehead. She fell into him a bit, not wanting for him to move. He immediately noticed she was holding on to him tightly. "Do you want to come with me?" He said quietly.

She shook her head no and he regrettably walked off to get her drinks. He knew he would be there with her through the night, but it didn't help knowing what she was trying to do . . . drown out the pain . . . the memories.

Alex was sitting beside Meredith and noticed she looked like shit. It was obvious to him something had happened but he had no idea what. He was sure it wasn't between the two of them because they were holding onto each other, almost like they were clinging to each other. They were trying to celebrate and be happy because of the win, but they weren't. The others also seemed dampened, but he couldn't figure out what was going on. He leaned over to Meredith, "Are you ok? You sure are sucking them down fast, I mean, this will make 4 shots in 20 minutes."

"I am fine." Meredith said quickly and quietly, avoiding eye contact with him, she had purposely not looked at him because she knew she may not be able to hold it together.

Alex sighed and looked to Carrie who he noticed for a split second was looking at Meredith with a look of worry. He knew something was going on but, he had already figured no one was talking.

"So, Mark, that was some race there at the end. I thought that other car was going to pass me and then Derek, but I held him off thank goodness." Alex was making conversation, but he was very curious who that was in that car because it was a new racer, but the car did seem familiar to him, but he couldn't quite place from where.

"I didn't . . . I mean, yes, it was tough there at the end, a real nail-biter." Mark said nervously, almost saying he didn't call the end of the race which would give Alex an instant clue.

"Here you go." Derek gently said putting down both shot glasses in front of her. She immediately tipped the first one back of course with no chaser. She took only a few breaths and tipped the second one up, closing her eyes with this one. She was just ready for it to take effect.

"I think I need a beer now." She said plainly to Derek, forcing a smile.

"Mer." He said not wanting to get it, but he knew . . . there was no stopping her. He saw the desperation in her eyes as he got up.

"I think I will join you, I think some of us could use another round." Alex said looking around for confirmation as they all nodded, indicating they could use another round.

"Ok." Derek said nervously. He knew Alex realized something was up; the pair of them knew each other more than more than just siblings, there was a connection that was unexplainable at times and Meredith was visibly not ok.

They walked to the bar in silence, "Back again already?" Suds asked.

"She wants a beer." Derek sighed.

"And you want a round for the table?" Suds asked looking at both of them.

"Yes, please, but I am good for now, just for the others." Derek said quickly knowing he needed to take care of her tonight.

Alex took this in and as Suds went to get the drinks, "What the hell is going on?" 

"What do you mean?" Derek quickly asked, not looking at him, keeping his hands on the bar, as he looked down at his foot kicking the bar stool.

"Cut the shit. She is obviously fucked up about something and you are . . . not much better after you won a race and beat my ass. It isn't something that happened between the two of you, it is like you are clinging to each other."

"It is nothing." Derek continued to look down.

"Look at me and tell me that." Alex demanded.

Derek couldn't and they both knew it. They stood in silence for a second, "What is going on?" Alex demanded.

"Not here." Derek said, looking his straight in the eyes.

"Yes, right here. Wait? The car . . . that car belonged to . . . FUCK . . . DON'T TELL ME . . . IT IS . . . FUCK." Alex knew by the look in Derek's eyes, it was him . . .

"Alex. Stop, Mer . . . she can't have us falling off our handle right now."

"The fuck she can't, did you know?" He asked. He realized as he was driving he knew the car, but couldn't remember right off from where and it was his car.

"Not until . . . I got out of my car. She couldn't tell me, Mark asked if I knew . . . him." Derek couldn't say his name.

"And you didn't go down and beat the fuck out of him?" Alex asked.

"Alex, I couldn't, I mean . . . she was falling apart. I knew something was wrong the second I got out of my car and saw her face."

"Did she see him or something? I mean, she was with you until the race started wasn't she?" Alex asked needing to know what exactly happened.

"From what I can get from her . . . she wanted to find out who was staying in the pack with us and she looked in the program and saw him." Derek looked down again; all he wanted to do was protect her.

"He can't be here. He was not supposed to fucking show up. I told him, if he EVER dared to, I would kill him." Alex seethed knowing he would do anything for his twin sister.

"I will kill him too, if he . . . she can't see him." Derek said emphatically.

"He won't. I will fucking kill him if he goes anywhere near her. She is my #1 priority always. It has always been her and I. I know she has you to be there for her too, both of us will be." Alex said knowing he and Derek needed to work together on this.

"You two look deep in conversation and we have some thirsty people over there." Mark put a hand on each back; he was pretty sure he knew what they were talking about.

"Yes, and Alex, you need to know, Mark . . . was with her when I got to the pit." Derek looked at Mark and the back to Alex.

"Thanks, man. You have no idea . . . how much I appreciate that." Alex said with true thanks that someone was there.

"The girls were there too." Mark added.

"Well, this conversation is not over. We have to come up with a plan or something Meredith can't have this shit. But right now, we need to get back to the girls." Alex said trying to stay calm.

Derek acknowledged Alex letting him know they will talk more about this very soon, the sooner he was . . . dealt with . . . the sooner they would be able to move forward. They grabbed the drinks and joined the girls.

As they turned their back and headed back to their table, Lance took this as a good opportunity to walk out without being seen. He had seen enough. It was obviously two drivers who hated each other and were rivals were now friends. He also knew they were heavy in conversation at the bar. He watched them all interact and he found it to be interesting. He was hoping Meredith would go to the bathroom or something so he could talk to her, but she never did. He would have his chance though . . . he would make sure of that.

152


	77. Protection

**Ok, I am going to apologize profusely for this, but I have been VERY busy on a new project. Rainandflames (She writes AMAZING GA stories) have started a new board called Surgical Language. If any of you are interested in the link, you can pm me or I am going to figure out how to put it on my profile. So, I am SOOO SORRY, but starting a board . . . takes a lot more than I ever thought. But, here ya go! I have another update ready to post . . . when you are ready.**

Meredith woke up and looked at the clock, seeing it was about 30 minutes until it was time for them to wake up to get ready for class. They had a tough weekend together and Monday morning brought about a new week. She was appreciative that Derek was with her every step of the way yesterday morning when she was hugging the porcelain god. He held her hair back and had a wet washcloth ready for her to wipe her face off for her. He also had aspirin and water ready for her. They didn't talk about why she was drinking herself sick, but they both knew that time needed to come soon. She was glad they spent the day together, hanging out and studying a little bit.

She smirked when she ran her hand around on his body and got to his morning wood. Meredith was glad that this part of them, stayed strong always. Even when school got busy or life just seemed to be getting in the way, they still found time to be together whether it is get up early in the morning and/or stay up an extra few minutes.

She needed to think of her best plan of attack. Sometimes she would get up before him and initiate and sometimes he did. They woke each other up in many different ways, but this morning, she thought she may just go for it all. She decided to take her hands off of his body and move her mouth over his reading and waiting cock. Usually, she liked to tease him, but she was trying to . . . wake him up. So, she put her entire mouth over and onto his cock, immediately sucking and let it hit the back of her throat.

She heard a moan come from the once sleeping form, knowing he was quickly waking up. She smiled while taking his cock in and out of her mouth.

"Oh god." Derek moaned thinking about how much he loved this woman and ALL that she did for him.

She loved doing this to him. She knew how much she loved waking up to his cock ready for her or his mouth on her pussy and she liked returning the favor. She felt her core heating up more and more though at the anticipation of his cock being inside of her.

She looked up at him and pulled her mouth off of him and moved her mouth up his body until they found his lips.

"Good morning." She smiled up at him and his sleep eyes that were opened.

"It sure is starting off as one." He smirked.

"Well, it was there, waiting for me . . . so, I thought it needed attention."

"Definitely, it needs attention. Now . . . more attention now." He breathed while flipping them over rather forcefully and looked with need in his eyes and said, "I hope you are ready." Without even seeing if her pussy was ready for his hard rock cock, he guided himself in to her, immediately moaning feeling her juices had been flowing and she was more than ready to take him, "Oh god, Mer, you are already so fucking wet."

"That is what you do to me." She breathed out.

"It is, you want this cock, all of this cock." Derek yelled out.

"I want every fucking inch of it." Meredith said needing him.

"Oh god." Only after a few thrusts, he was pretty sure he was ready to explode, but he had to hang in there for a little longer.

"Derek . . . harder." Meredith moaned feeling herself getting close to the peak in very little time.

Derek bite his lip, trying desperately not to shoot up everything he had inside of her, "Oh Mer . . . your pussy is . . . amazing."

"Oh god, I am . . . there." She yelled out as her pussy spasmed all around his cock.

The second he felt her walls tightening in on him, he cried out, "Oh fuck yes." His intense orgasm hit at the same time, giving her all that he had.

He lay down beside her, "Wow, what a wake up."

"I thought so." Meredith smirked.

"And we still have 10 minutes to spare before we have the alarm set for." He smiled thinking they would get to take an extra long shower . . . together. Most of the time, they were in a hurry and showered separately because together . . . led to things.

"We do, I wonder what we can do with that kind of time?"

"Hmmm . . . I think I might need help this morning." Meredith suggested seductively.

"What do you need help with?" Derek asked amusingly.

"Well, follow me and find out." She raised her eyebrow as she got out of the bed and went her bathroom.

He quickly jumped out of the bed to follow her to the bathroom where it leads to another round of sex. They got out of the door in time for them to stop and get coffee. Meredith didn't have to be up as early this morning because her class was later, but she had decided she would get up with Derek on some of these days and go with him and use the time to study.

"I love you, Mer." He said as he was going to head off to Dr. Lawrence's office to assist him to class this morning, as his TA.

"I love you too. Thanks for an amazing morning." She smiled up at him, with so much love in her eyes. She was thankful Derek hadn't mentioned Lance. She knew there was talking to be done, but she couldn't, not yet. She loved Derek with every part of her and needed to just forget that Lance was even around.

"Thank you . . . you are the one that woke me up." He leaned down and kissed her quickly.

"Well, next time, I will just let you sleep." She picked.

"You will do no such thing, I like being woke up," He leaned to her ear and whispered, "to your mouth on my cock."

"Come on Shep, get your tongue out of Grey's ear and get to my office. Good morning, Ms. Grey. I still want you in my class next year." Dr. Lawrence said smirking at them both.

"Good morning, I am on my way, sir." He looked back at Meredith and smiled, "library, I will meet you in our spot when I get done in his class. I love you." He leaned down and gave her another kiss, letting it linger a few minutes. He was really thankful they had not talked about Lance at all. He knew the conversation was coming, but he dreaded it. He also had to get to Alex. They had not had a chance to talk since the bar and he knew . . . there was a lot they needed to discuss because nothing would get in his way when it came to Meredith and everyone knew it.

Derek sat in his class thinking that it was now Thursday and no one had talked about what happened this past weekend. He knew they needed to, but everyone just wanted to forget that Lance was even there. Derek was going to find Alex right after class so they could talk. They had to talk about what was going to happen if or when Lance comes around or is at the track. Derek assumes he will race Saturday night and they need to be prepared for it.

"Shep, man . . . snap out of it, class is over." Mark told him seeing Derek was in another world, like he had been the entire week.

"Oh . . . yeah, let's get going. I need to find Alex, now." Derek said quickly, putting his books in his pack.

Mark took a deep breath, he knew everyone was avoiding, but, he was not going to anymore, "You are going to finally talk about Lance."

Derek shot his eyes up at him, not sure what to say.

"Everyone has been avoiding it all week; you let Grey drink herself sick Saturday night because you were too scared to fucking say something and you have been absent-minded in every class this week, something has to give." Mark said bluntly.

Derek shook his head knowing every single word was true. He should never have let Meredith drink herself so sick and they should have talked about it before now. "Mark, I just don't know what to do. I mean, Meredith, she is going on almost like nothing has happened, although I can see it in her eyes, the fear, the pain."

"Look, I have no idea what all went on, it was obviously bad, but if you are worried he would hurt you, you have to talk." Mark knew he and Alex were both worried about Lance being there.

"If he even breathed her name, I would fucking kill him." Derek seethed out, feeling the anger build up. He could hardly stand to know that Lance was in town and in the past he had hurt the one thing that was most precious to him.

"Then, you need to talk about this, quit hiding behind whatever it is you are hiding behind."

"Mark, I am just so scared about Meredith . . . she has come a long way since I first met her." Derek looked up at Mark, "We have even talked about marriage, but this . . . it could set her back. You have no idea . . ."

Mark took a deep breath. He knew Derek had talked about getting a ring, but, he didn't think anything would come between them and if Derek was worried, something really bad had happened, "Then, you protect her and talk."

"I am going now. I think Alex is . . . out of class right now too and I am going to find him."

"Shep, I am here for whatever you may need."

"Thanks man." Derek said while quickly texting Alex to see where he was at.

He quickly received a text back from Alex, that said he was in the library and to come on up to talk. Derek was sure Alex knew exactly what they needed to talk about.

When Derek reached the 5th floor, the floor the medical students has deemed as theirs, he saw Alex waiting anxiously for him in a quiet corner.

"How was class this morning?" Derek asked putting his books down, not sure how to start this conversation.

"Cut the shit, let's get down to business. We need to decide what the fuck to do with Lance." Alex let out a huge breathe. He hated this as much as Derek. He knew his sister was doing great and he also knew Meredith hadn't thought about Lance the last few months until Saturday night. Alex was just as guilty for letting Meredith drink herself sick.

"What in the hell is he doing here?" Derek sighed and sat back in his chair.

"The hell if I know. I told that bastard to stay away from here . . . forever." Alex said frustratingly.

"What do we do?" Derek asked, having no idea what to do.

"I think we do what we can to make sure Mer is ok. Why did he have to show his ass here again?"

"Do you think he will go after her?" Derek asked.

"I have no idea if or what he wants with her. I mean, when . . . we talked after I got back into town from being with her and I basically told him he was either dead or he had to leave . . . for good, he left and not another word from him until Saturday night."

"So, we protect Meredith. He will be at the next race. I have done a little calling around. He . . . is planning on racing again this week." Derek looked down, knowing Meredith would be there.

"Our only other option is find him and kill him." Alex looked at Derek, with half humor and half . . . seriousness.

Derek tried to laugh, but Alex's plan . . . didn't sound too bad, "We need to talk to her about this too. She isn't ok. I have seen the look in her eyes . . . or I have noticed her staring off in space and I know what she is thinking. I love her Alex, I can't . . . we have to face this." Derek pleaded with him.

"Let's do some digging around and find him. Maybe we go straight to him and beat the living shit out of him or just kill him."

"Alex, no matter what, we can't do anything stupid. We can't. Meredith needs us and we have bigger things going for us . . . then Lance. So, no matter what, as much as we may want to literally kill him, we can't." Derek said seriously, although, he hoped he could contain himself when he came face to face with him and he knew that time would come one day if he was back on the racing docket.

"I know. I would have done it last time. I wanted to Derek, you have no idea how much." Alex said with a very serious look in his eyes.

"I . . . am dreading the day I actually come face to face with him. Mark also . . . he doesn't know the story, but he is with us . . . whatever we need from him, he will be there. He is my brother really and he knows Mer . . . is the world to me."

"I am glad she has you. She is really happy with you." Alex sighed a breath of relief that at least his sister had found love . . . true love. He also had been wondering if maybe . . . just maybe he had found something himself that was worth holding onto.

"I hope so. I really try. She is my . . . I love her."

"Ok, enough of the girly shit because we are definitely men." Alex said to give a much needed relief.

"We practice tomorrow, maybe we can ask around if anyone knows why he is back and the reason he is giving . . . for being gone last year." Derek suggested.

"I think so. But, Derek, no matter what, we protect Mer."

"There is nothing else I could do even if I tried." Derek said shaking his head.

"Ok, I need to get going. I need to get a few things before class starts and call Ca . . ." Alex stopped and looked up at Derek.

"Carrie." Derek finished for him.

Alex had no idea what the look on Derek's face meant, but he hoped it was ok, "Um . . . yeah, Carrie." He couldn't help but smile a little bit thinking about her.

"So, you and my baby sister." Derek smirked a little.

Alex sighed and looked down before looking back up, because men . . . real men, looked each other in the eye when they talk about important things, "I like her. I want to date her, I mean, I am dating her. But, seriously . . . no other girls." He hoped Derek could see the seriousness in his eyes.

Derek looked at him a few seconds, "I am sure I don't have to go through it all. I mean, you should know what this feels like." Derek sighed a little. He knew his little sister could take care of herself. And, he and Alex . . . they had an understanding.

"I do know exactly what this feels like except if I was you, I would be nuts . . . even more than I was with you because me . . . I was, well, I was like Mark." Alex hesitantly laughed a little knowing his past was . . . not the best where girls were concerned.

"And Mark has turned around more than I ever thought was possible . . . it happens sometimes." Derek had a feeling Alex would be doing the same thing.

"Ok." Alex said, trying not to smile just yet.

"Ok. You are dating my sister. But, I guess I should warn you, she can . . . hold her own and quite possible kick your ass." Derek laughed.

"Yeah, I have already seen that, a few times now." Alex joined in the laughter.

"Ok, I do not need to hear about that . . . with you and my sister. But, thanks for everything . . . I know this wasn't easy for you at first, but now . . . well, I hope to make you my brother-in-law."

"I hope you do. See you later." Alex said patting him on the back and walking off to go and call Carrie. He wasn't sure what he would tell her. They still had not talked about the status of their relationship, but it was coming.

Meanwhile, Meredith was walking to get something from her car before meeting Alex and the gang for their afternoon class. When she opened her car and got her book out she had forgotten earlier . . . she heard . . . the voice she never wanted to hear again . . .

"So, we meet again."

154


	78. Not There

****

Meredith shut her eyes tightly knowing exactly whose voice she heard from behind her. She had no idea what to do. She just wanted to curl up and die right now because that would be easier than facing him.

"I see you are glad I am here." Lance smugly said.

"What in the fuck do you want?" Meredith seethed, standing in the door of her car, not turning around to look at him.

"That wasn't the welcome I was expecting. I figured the whore that you are would want to jump me the second you saw me."

Meredith's insides started boiling, "I am not a whore." She yelled out and turned around to face him. She had to sooner or later and now . . . she needed to face him.

"Oh, yes, it seems you have moved on to another one . . . the driver's always talked about how sweet Grey's twin sister would be . . . hell, even the crews talked . . . Shepherd is just another one of them." He took a few steps closer to her.

"Don't talk about Derek . . . you have no right."

"You think he actually loves you. He has to know what a whore you are. You have my child although I thought all along you didn't really know who the father was. You told me it was mine, but knowing you . . . you have no idea."

"There is no child." Meredith said in a low voice . . . trying to stay angry because that is easier . . . to be angry.

"That figures . . . you aborted it." Lance laughed.

"I would never." Meredith said quickly, trying to hold back the tears, she couldn't let him see her be weak in any way.

"Does Shepherd know what a whore you are?" Lance asked amusingly.

Meredith was on the verge of breaking down, but took a deep breath and held it together. She was good at that. She would break down later, but right now, she couldn't. "I am not a whore. Just leave Lance. Why are you even here?"

"I wanted to drive. Did you really think your brother could keep me away for good? I stayed away for a year, but I am back and I plan on staying and kicking both your brother and that pansy ass that is with my whore."

Meredith seethed now. He could talk about her . . . but not her brother and Derek, "You have no right to talk about them like that. They . . . if they knew you were here . . . talking to me, you would be dead because both of them would fucking kill you right now."

"Haha, how sweet. You actually think Derek loves you and your brother . . . he can't keep his pants on long enough to care about you."

"You don't know what love is." She took a deep breath and looked at him, "Go. Just go and leave me alone. I won't ask you to quit racing, but just leave me alone." Meredith really just wanted to let Lance go. She realized she could deal with him racing, but she didn't want to see him . . . ever. She had moved past him . . . but he had to show up.

"You are nothing but a whore . . . remember that the next time Shepherd is spreading your legs wide open. You will never be good for anything but that. That is probably how you made it in to med school . . . you are good at that. The best ever."

"Fuck you." Meredith spat out.

"Ah, that is the Meredith I know."

Meredith had no idea what to do, curling up right now was a good option, but she couldn't be weak . . . there was no time for it right now. "Just . . . leave Lance. Let me be. I have . . . I am not the person I was."

"Oh, yes, I have asked around about you and Shepherd, they say you are serious and . . . there are marriage talks. He will leave you the second he finds out what a whore you really are. From what I know of him, he is a good guy Meredith . . . way too good for you. I am staying around, but I don't want used goods anymore. I wanted to claim my rights to my kid, but since there is no kid, I have no use for you." With that he turned around and walked away. He wanted nothing to do with Meredith Grey again.

Meredith watched him walk off; she was frozen, unable to move. She had no idea what to do or where to go. She somehow found her way to her car, sat down in it and drove to The Temple . . .

Derek was working in Dr. Lawrence's office when he heard his phone buzz with a text message. He smiled knowing it was probably Meredith in class.

He opened it up and saw it was from Alex, he quickly knew something didn't seem right.

From: Alex

Time: 2:05pm

Is Mer with you? She isn't in class . . . Alex

Derek's heart raced. He knew something was not right. He didn't even text him back. He immediately started calling Meredith's cell phone and knew . . . this was bad when she didn't answer after at least 4 calls. He had to go . . . but, he had no idea where to.

155


	79. Thing Called Radar Love

Meredith sat at the bar, looking at her shot of tequila, not having drank it yet. She was pretty sure she had been sitting there for at least 10 minutes.

"Hey, are you ok?" Suds asked.

"Yeah." She replied quietly and continued to sit there just looking and thinking how far she had come and this was not going to set her back. But, she couldn't quite thinking that maybe . . . she was just a whore.

She heard her phone ringing again, hearing it was Cristina by the ring tone, You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi. She had no idea why she was calling her. They saw each other in class and she would stop off at the condo, maybe stay a night here and there, but for the most part, she was only seen in class. Meredith tried to talk to her, but, she Cristina did not give any information about what was going on with her.

Of everyone right now, this might be the person she needs, "Hello."

"Where the hell are you? You should be in class." Cristina said. She knew something was going on with her, but she didn't know what. Alex mentioned something about being worried that Meredith wasn't in class. Cristina pushed him to get more information, but he didn't really give any. She knew she had to leave class immediately to find out what is going on.

"Oh, shit. I didn't even . . . " She stopped herself and said quietly over the phone, "ihe/i is here Cristina."

Cristina knew exactly who she was talking about. "Where are you?"

"The Temple."

"Mer." Cristina said worried, thinking back . . .

"I haven't taken a drink. I want to . . . I am ready to drink myself . . . But, I am not. I can't . . . I know you haven't been around lately, but I need you."

Cristina instantly felt guilty. She should have told Meredith what was going on when it all first started . . . She thought Meredith wouldn't understand so instead she hid it all from her . . . person, "I am on my way. I left class anyway to call you when you weren't here."

"Thanks." Meredith hung up the phone and waited for her person. Meredith knew something was going on with her, but she also knew she was with her every step of the way when he hurt her . . . she had to make sure that Lance didn't do that again . . . ever.

Cristina quickly got to her car and headed to The Temple. She was glad to find a good parking spot close to the bar on the street. She walked in quickly and saw Meredith sitting at the bar, alone. Her eyes were fixated on the untouched shot of tequila.

"Mer."

Meredith didn't say anything, but Cristina could see a single tear drop falling down one of her cheeks. Cristina sat down beside her and didn't say a word. They didn't have to say anything to know that right now, things were not good.

Finally, after a few minutes, Cristina knew she needed to say something, "Aren't you going to answer your phone. McDreamy is probably freaking out."

"Yeah." Meredith said quickly knowing it was him with the ring tone that was playing, Rock the Cashbah.

"God, did you seriously let him put that stupid ass song on your phone?" Cristina laughed.

"He loves The Clash. I figured he would put something cheesy on there, so it is better than what it coud have been." She let out a quick giggle thinking about him. She then remembered she needed to talk to him, but she needed just a few minutes with Cristina. Her expression changed and went straight back to the shot.

"So, he is here." Cristina said quietly.

"He is here."

"Now, you are going to force me to kill. I always wanted to do that you know." Cristina said seriously.

"I don't think he will be bothering me anymore. He said . . . what he had to say. He . . . wanted to know . . . about the . . . baby." Meredith got out quietly and slowly.

"Now the jackass cares. Killing him sounds good right now."

"He raced Saturday night. I knew he was back, but didn't see him that night. But . . . he cornered me in my car at school before class. I had forgotten my book and was going to get it before class." She stopped and looked at Cristina suddenly, with a fearful look in her eyes, "Oh god, how would he even know I was there. I guess he had been following me. I should be lucky . . . he didn't do anything else."

Cristina was seriously about to go nuts wanting to find this ass and kill him . . . literally kill him. She just let Meredith go on for right now.

Meredith took a deep breath, "I am a whore. I will never be . . . any better than that. Derek really doesn't have a clue."

"Ok, I am going to kick your ass." Cristina said plainly, looking at Meredith.

Meredith looked up shocked at her, "What?"

"You heard me . . . are you listening to yourself. Yes, that ass is here and yes, I will kill him and I have a feeling your brothers and McDreamy will join me in that."

"But . . . Cristina, Derek really has no clue about me. I . . . drink and sleep with inappropriate men. He doesn't deserve that."

"That is why you are sitting here, staring at that shot of tequila. It is why you are with Derek every waking second you can be. You two are so in love it is pathetic and Mer . . . he knows everything. Seriously."

"I can't talk to Derek. He has been calling non stop and I can't force myself to answer the phone. I am a disappointment. I will always be."

"If you want to think that, then, fine. Nothing I am going to say is going to change that. But, Meredith, you have come a hell of a long way . . . to regress back to this. You have a man who loves you . . . and for some stupid ass reason you love him. But, you are going to let the asshole ruin that or even doubt that for a second, go ahead. You are not as smart as I thought." Cristina got up and turned to leave.

As Cristina neared the door, she heard, Meredith's voice, "Wait . . . please." Meredith knew . . . Cristina was right about it all.

Cristina stopped and turned around ready to hear what Meredith had to say, "Stay with me until Derek gets here. I am going to call him and tell him I am here . . . please stay until he gets here." Meredith pleaded.

Cristina walked back to the bar as Meredith nervously dialed Derek's number. "Where the hell are you and why are you not in fucking class. Do you know how worried I am?" Derek spat out quickly the second he answered the phone.

Meredith broke out in sob, not able to say a word and Cristina took the phone from her, "The Temple. Get here now and whatever you just said and whatever attitude you have . . . lose it before you step foot in this place or I will fucking kill you too." Cristina hung up the phone, looked to her friend and did something . . . that surprised even herself, she hugged Meredith tightly.

"You are hugging me." Meredith said as the sobs subsided.

"Shut up. You are and will always be my person." Cristina said.

"Good, I have missed you." Meredith said truthfully.

"I am here now and I am sorry . . . I haven't been." She knew Meredith was strong, but she was thankful . . . she could be there . . . when she needed her.

Derek quickly turned the car around towards The Temple. He was driving around aimlessly but never considered she would be there. He tried both her condo and his apartment. Carrie was concerned the second he stormed in his apartment and stormed out. He tried the track and was going back to school to find her car and to wait for Alex to get out of class. He wondered why and how Cristina had gotten to The Temple because she was supposed to be in class with the rest of them. None of that mattered at this time. He had a bad feeling and knew no matter what, he had to stifle the anger he was feeling for her not answering her phone.

He quickly ran into The Temple and stopped abruptly when he saw a most unusual sight. Meredith had her head laid on Cristina's shoulder. He wasn't sure he should interrupt, but he was glad . . . whatever was wrong, Meredith had her person. He knew she was missing her lately. Meredith had mentioned last week that she wanted to find out what was going on with Cristina. She had been acting mysteriously for a few months now.

He slowly walked up to them, "Ladies." He stayed standing behind Meredith noticing the untouched shot of tequila. He breathed a sigh of relief the second he saw it. He was worried he would be walking into a firestorm. He had a feeling . . . he knew what this had to do with.

"I am going to . . . Meredith, I will call you later. I . . . we need to talk." Cristina said sadly knowing she should have told Meredith long before now what was going on with her.

"Cris . . . thanks." Meredith forced a smile and leaned up to look at her and to let her leave.

"Cristina . . . thank you. You have no idea . . ." Derek was glad she was there for Meredith.

"Live up to your nickname, will you?" Cristina smirked at him and walked out.

"Mer, honey . . . I am sorry . . . on the phone." He immediately started to say as Meredith started crying again, a little harder while resting her head on his chest while he was standing behind her.

"You had no right." Meredith stated, not going to let him get away with anything.

"No, I didn't. Mer . . . what is going on?"

"Derek . . . you would tell me . . . if I wasn't good enough for you. I mean, you . . . don't know, I was really bad. I was a . . . whore before you and . . ."

"Stop." Derek interrupted her and shifted her around to look at her.

She kept her eyes and face downward, not wanting to look at him . . . to see the hurt in his eyes because she knew she would do nothing but hurt him.

"Look at me." Derek said softly, lightly touching her chin to move it up to meet her eyes.

"No, Derek . . . I can't."

"Meredith, I love you and whatever . . . it is, I am in this with you." Derek said camly, holding back any anger he was feeling. He wanted to yell and demand for her to tell him, but he knew . . . he couldn't do that right now.

"You won't be. I am nothing but a whore." She was crying and would not let her eyes look up at him. She couldn't.

"Meredith Grey . . . never, do I want you to say that again. You are the love of my life . . . that is what you are, now and forever."

She looked up at him instinctively hearing these words from him. She loved him so much, "But, Derek."

"No, no buts . . . I love you. Tell me . . . what happened today?" Derek moved them both around so that he could sit down on the stool beside her, pulling it closer to where she was already sitting.

"Derek, I can't." She whispered out.

"You can tell me anything. We will work on whatever it is together." Derek said into her ear as her head found its position back on his chest.

"Meredith, I am staying calm right now, but if you do this, I don't know how much longer I can be calm. I am really trying right now." Derek said desperately. Now was not the time to blow up, but the anger was boiling, not necessarily at her, but at this situation. She wasn't talking and was clearly, not ok.

She sat up quickly and looked into his eyes for the first time since he had been there, "Why are you with me? I am nothing but a whore."

"If that is what you think, then nothing I can say will change your mind." Derek said without thinking.

"Then you really think that." She looked into his eyes. She didn't know if she needed his reassurance or for him to just leave. She knew deep down, she couldn't lose him . . . no matter what, she couldn't.

"Obviously you do and nothing I can say or have said will change your mind. But, Meredith, I think . . . you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. You are amazing and kind. You have a family that loves you and adores you. You have a boyfriend that . . . Meredith, I love you and no matter what, I am not going to let you . . . pull away from me. So, you can try, but it won't work."

She sat there; looking into his eyes searching . . . she needed him to accept her . . . all of her. He possessed a lot in his eyes and she could see . . . the love he had for her. She also knew . . . she had to tell him what had just happened as painful as it was. She just hoped he would . . . stay with her because she couldn't lose him.

Meredith was about to start when she heard her cell phone playing American Idiot by Greenday which would mean Alex is calling.

"Shit." Derek said.

"What?" Meredith asked not wanting to answer the phone. She needed to talk to Derek.

"I forgot to . . . he text me to see if you . . . were with me when you didn't show up to class. I didn't . . . I never responded." Derek said.

"Oh." Meredith looked at him. Cristina had left class and she figured class wasn't quite over yet, so he must have left as well.

"Mer, honey . . . let's go and talk somewhere else. We can go anywhere you want to go. On the way, why don't you call him back and tell him you are with me."

She looked up at him knowing she had to tell him about what had happened and The Temple was not the place, "Ok." She got up and was thankful that he didn't let her go. She did take a look at the shot, needing just one shot. She could have . . . had unlimited amounts, but she didn't.

"Go ahead, just the one." Derek said knowing today was a big feat for her, not drinking the whole bottle . . . just one . . . would help.

They walked out; Derek went in to the passenger side of his car and opened it up to help her in. She stopped him before he closed the door, "Derek . . . I . . . I love you so much. Thank you for loving me."

He smiled, knowing his heart was leaping out. He needed to hear this from her right now, "Mer . . . I couldn't not love you. ."

He closed her door and went around getting in himself to take them to her condo, so they could talk. She called Alex and he had questions about where she was, but she assured him she was ok and they had to talk later, but she would call when she was ready.

When they pulled up the condo, Meredith breathed heavily knowing she would have to tell him about her encounter she had earlier.

He held her hand tightly and led her in the condo. She immediately went to the couch and sat down and was thankful when he sat beside her.

She knew she had to just rip it off and say it, "I saw him today." She said quickly, tears coming quickly to her eyes.

Derek took a deep breath knowing exactly who she was talking about. Anger immediately bubbled up inside him, not at Meredith . . . at Lance and at himself. He was supposed to protect her, but he was unable to. Derek didn't know what to say; he took her and enveloped her up in his arms.

"What did . . . what happened?" Derek managed to ask her.

"Before I start, I need to get this out Derek. Please don't interrupt me and when I am done, if you want to leave, I understand." Meredith pushed herself off of him for a second to look at him.

"Mer . . . I am not leaving and I will not interrupt. I can't promise that I won't want to leave her but only to kill the bastard."

"I need you to promise . . . you won't do that either Derek. I need you and that . . . would take you away from me." She said seriously.

Derek smiled a small smile at her admission that she needed him, "Does that include beating the shit out of him? Because that, won't take me away from you, well, not long anyway."

He saw a hint of a smile on her lips, "If you feel the need."

"Meredith . . . I am with you every step of the way." He didn't want to remind her . . . but, he needed to hear what happened today.

She took a deep breath and started, giving him all of the details of her conversation with Lance.

Derek couldn't believe Lance found her and said everything he did. He was having a hard time concentrating on Meredith because he felt like he needed to do something right now.

"Derek, say something." She said the second she was done feeling like . . . she was almost a new person, but quickly got very nervous when Derek didn't say anything right away.

Derek had no idea what to say. He loved her and this . . . the fact she was there, telling him all of this and not running . . . made him love her that much more. "Meredith, I have so many things running through my head. You, my love, are amazing. You are so strong and I am so proud of you . . . I never thought I could be as proud as I am right now."

Meredith looked at him in shock; she never imagined he would say this after hearing what Lance had said to her. "You are . . . proud of me? I am a disappointment Derek . . . you can't be proud of me." She wanted to believe this . . . she was one the breaking point of really and truly believing this . . . she needed to hear him tell her . . . that he was proud of her.

"Meredith, I am so proud of you . . . you didn't let him get the best of you, you stood strong to him. You didn't have the drink . . . well, until I told you too." He smiled brightly at her, loving her more in this moment than ever. He didn't think it was possible. "And . . . you are here, telling me instead of . . . running. I didn't realize I could love you even more, but right now, Meredith Grey, I love you so damn much. You are an amazing woman, my woman."

She looked into his eyes, almost mesmerized by what she was seeing. He really meant every word he was telling her. She wanted this . . . she wanted him to stay beside her no matter what and he really was. "I am also very proud of you . . . you controlled your anger through all of this. I know that . . . wasn't easy." She needed him to do stay calm. But, she needed the assurance in herself and right now, she was completely ok with everything . . .

"No, none of this was easy. But, Mer, I am trying . . . really trying. Losing you is never an option." He said to her quietly and lovingly, never taking his eyes off of her. He leaned down slowly to her lips and kissed them softly at first, both of them deepening the kiss of need and want.

"Derek . . . I love you . . . forever." She breathed out.

"Forever . . . we have forever." Derek whispered on her lips.

He knew they needed each other, slow and sensual emitting all the love they had for one another because they knew . . . this was it for them.

They were in love and will always be in love. Life does get difficult at times, but they are committed to doing everything they can do to always make this work. Love . . . they have a thing called radar love . . .


	80. Forever and Ever

The rest of the semester flew by quickly. Meredith, Alex, Cristina, and Izzie couldn't believe they survived their first year of medical school and they were glad it was over.

Lance . . . Lance left the second Alex, Derek, and Mark got to him on Friday. They threatened not only his life, but exposing him to the entire racing world and he couldn't have that. Lance would never come around again, the three of them made sure of that. It wasn't actually hard to intimidate him, they were pretty sure he was pissing in his pants the second he saw all three of them approaching him at the track. Thankfully, some of his pit couldn't stand him and gave free information to them that could definitely ruin him in more ways than just racing.

Cristina told Meredith a few nights after The Temple that she had been living with one of their professors, Dr. Marlowe. Meredith was not surprised in the least little bit, she knew something was going on. Actually, Meredith and Derek were the only one's that knew and had actually been over to have dinner with them a few times. At times, it was strange, but Cristina was her person and would always be.

Bryant was finally back out into the world of dating with his daughter also thinking it was time for her to date. Marissa was hitting her teenager years and Bryant knew it would be some long years, but he knew he would always have his family to help him. Meredith was always committed to doing things with her as well as Carrie and Izzie. Meredith didn't miss a Wednesday with her unless something really big came up.

Alex and Carrie . . . well, the only thing to be said about them is they really were perfect for each other, more so than any of them ever imagined. Carrie definitely could take care of herself and Alex; he was happy to . . . bow down to her. If truth be told, they adored each other and would do anything for each other. Marriage . . . possibly one day, but right now, they were happy with were they were at.

"I can't believe you are really going to do this." Mark said looking at Derek in the car.

"I can't believe you are actually considering doing this soonish." Derek replied back.

"Well, it has to happen sometime you know. I can't stay a manwhore my whole life." Mark laughed.

"You finally admit to being a manwhore." Derek laughed nervously trying to not think about what he is about to do. She had to say yes . . . marriage had come up a few times but, it was still . . . nerve racking a little bit because he had tried not to give her any clues.

"Don't worry man; she is going to say yes, Grey loves you. Sometimes I don't know why, but she does. And for the record, I am a recovering manwhore."

"I am hot, that is why she loves me." He raised his eyebrows at Mark.

"I hope it is more than that because one day, you will be old, wrinkly, and the hair . . . will not be so dreamy."

"You just wish you had hair like mine and it is more than that Mark and you know it. Just like you and Izzie." Derek smiled knowing . . . they both had something amazing.

"Man, that woman. I do love her. I will be in this same spot as you, just not yet." Mark shook his head; the thought of marriage really did scare the hell out of him.

"What if she would have been really pregnant last month?" Derek asked curiously.

"Shep, I am going to be honest with you. I was so damn scared, but I was so excited. I couldn't help but think about . . . how much I wanted a family with her. But, marriage, Shep, a year ago . . . I never thought I would ever want to get married."

"It is amazing isn't it? I can't wait for the minute Mer gets pregnant. She will be beautiful . . . fat and pregnant." Derek smiled crazily thinking about her.

"Fat and pregnant, don't let her hear that shit. I am quite sure you would be in some shit, but, I hear the pregnancy hormones are . . . amazing." Mark smirked.

"She will be beautiful pregnant and well, we still have a lot of time until children come along. We have . . . some busy times ahead of us."

"Yes, we do, we all do."

"So, Izzie and Mer are there, right?" Derek asked. Derek and Mark had gotten the girls a day of pampering at the spa in Sedona as a celebration for the end of the semester.

"Izzie just messaged me to tell me they are at the base of the trail in Sedona and about to give her the envelope." Mark knew Derek was really nervous; he had everything planned out and had for a few weeks now. The envelope was just a card telling her what to do and he would be joining her when she got up to the spot.

"Ok . . . I think everything is set up on the trail by the lake . . . where she told me the first time . . . that she loved me." Derek said not able to help feeling all the emotions of what was about to happen.

"You are pathetic. I think I will just ask Izzie at the spur of the moment."

"Romantic Mark . . . you have to be romantic once in a while." Derek laughed.

"I am plenty romantic when Izzie is screaming my name." He laughed.

"I needed that visual, thank you." Derek rolled his eyes.

They rode a few minutes when they saw a sign that said a mile to the bottom of the trail they are going to in Sedona. Derek took a deep breath and could feel himself getting nervous. "The ring, it is still there right?"

"Damn it, it is in the same place it was 15 minutes ago and when we left. It is in the cup holder so you made sure you had it." Mark rolled his eyes.

"Ok, good."

"Ah, Izzie looks amazing. A day at the spa and she looks damn hot . . . although she always does." Mark smiled seeing Izzie waiting for them. Izzie and Mark were going to stay in Sedona for the night, but were going to go in Izzie's car as Meredith and Derek would be in Derek's.

They parked the car and immediately got out. Mark went to Izzie and kissed her hard telling her how beautiful she was after her day at the spa.

"Hello Izzie." Derek smiled happily. He wanted to give them time, but he was also anxious to get up to Meredith.

"She started up about 10 minutes ago. I really can't believe you have little stops and notes along the way that is just so romantic and you have people stationed to make sure she is ok too as she makes her way up. Perfect Derek." Izzie hugged him, beaming from ear to ear.

Mark went to hug him and said in his ear, "Thanks Shep, now I am going to have to plan some romantic shit. You are going to have to help me."

Derek smiled, "I will . . . thank you Mark for everything."

"Go get her." Mark said pulling away, patting him on the shoulder.

"Thanks guys for everything. See you guys soon." Derek said starting his way up in his suit that he decided to wear. He knew Meredith had her choice of sun-type dresses at the spa and couldn't wait to see her. He also made sure she had comfortable shoes to choose from as well.

As he went up to the lake, he had to keep from running as the adrenaline was pumping through his veins. It was only about a ten minute walk to where the clearing is, but it seemed like an eternity. He knew they were ready, but it still didn't make him any less nervous.

He came around the last bend, and could see the clearing knowing Meredith was sitting in the middle at the table that was set up with a margarita waiting. He talked with the people at the spa and they were able to help him in getting people to set up on the trail exactly at the spot . . . that she told him . . . she loved him for the first time. There was plans for a dinner table, food, and music.

He stopped the second he saw her, the sunlight was shining behind her and was radiating around her. She couldn't look more beautiful.

At the moment she looked up, she saw Derek beaming at her . . . he took her breath away immediately. He was looking straight into her soul and they both knew it.

"Hello, you look . . . beautiful." Derek said the second he was within earshot of her, immediately leaning down to kiss her.

"You look pretty handsome yourself. We clean up nice." She smiled at him.

"We really do. Did you enjoy your morning at the spa?"

"It was amazing. Thank you. You are amazing. You didn't have to do all of this."

"I did." He was bursting to come out and just ask her, but he wanted to wait. Derek kissed her one more time and took the seat across from her that was set up near the small river that is running through. The music was softly playing that he requested.

Right on cue, the first course came out, a cucumber salad.

"Seriously Derek." Meredith smirked at him.

Derek laughed knowing she would love this. "I thought it would be fun . . . you know, I will never look at them the same."

"Me neither." They ate stealing glances and making casual conversation.

They continued dinner in the same way, having the two people who Derek had hired from the restaurant serving them. Dinner was done and he knew the time was coming and he was . . . nervous and anxious, but most of all he was excited. He knew they were ready. It had come up a few times in the last few months, but, he was pretty sure she had no clue. She just assumed this was all in celebration to the end of another successful semester of medical school and the end of the first full year for her.

There was soft music that he had arranged to be playing from an ipod and he heard the song start . . . the one he had picked out for this perfect moment.

_She's a yellow pair of running shoes_

_A holey pair of jeans_

_She looks great in cheap sunglasses_

_She looks great in anything_

_She's I want a piece of chocolate_

_Take me to a movie_

_She's I can't find a thing to wear_

_Now and then she's moody_

The song started and Derek watched Meredith, she was talking about how great the early evening was with the sun starting to go down a little. He couldn't help but look at her . . . mesmerized by how amazing she is and how he couldn't wait to take her as his wife. He chuckled a little bit thinking about the song . . . The song was exactly how he felt about Meredith.

"Derek, you are looking at me, laughing, and not saying much. I am sorry I am rambling on and on." Meredith laughed at him. She stopped just a second and listened intently at the song playing. For the first time she realized what this . . . evening could actually be about.

_She's a Saturn with a sunroof_

_With her brown hair a-blowin_

_She's a soft place to land_

_And a good feeling knowing _

_She's a warm conversation_

_That I wouldn't miss for nothing_

_She's a fighter when she's mad_

_And she's a lover when she's loving_

Derek cleared his throat because if he didn't know better, he would have swore it was closing up a little, not from nervousness, but from all the love he had . . . wanting to come out at once, "I am looking at you and I love your rambling. I love all of you." He also noticed the seriously look Meredith had gotten on her face.

"Derek . . . I am . . . I am really happy you know. You make me happy." She smiled at him feeling strangely nervous in this minute. They both sat in silence for a second, letting their eyes do the dance of love while listening to the words of the song.

_And she's everything I ever wanted_

_And everything I need_

_I talk about her, I go on and on and on_

_Because she is everything to me_

He couldn't believe she said this. He knew he was doing the right thing. He had no doubts. "You . . . are perfect for me in everyway. Since the day you walked into my life, I knew . . . you, Meredith Grey were . . . someone I wanted to know, someone I wanted to love. I wasn't sure how it would happen at the time, but I knew Meredith . . . I had to get to know you." He got out of his chair, took a step over to her, and knelt down in front of her.

"Derek." She whispered out knowing tears were pooling, but in this moment she didn't care . . . this was it and she was ready.

_She's a Saturday out on the town_

_And a church girl on Sunday_

_She's a cross around her neck_

_And a cuss word 'cause its Monday_

_She's a bubble bath and candles_

_Baby come and kiss me_

_She's a one glass of wine_

_And she's feeling kinda tipsy_

"Meredith, we have been through . . . a lot together, some good . . . some bad . . . terrible even." He paused and looked at her, knowing tears were about to start flowing from his eyes as well. He saw a single tear drop down her face and lovingly took his hand up to cup her chin and wipes the tear with his thumb while they looked at each other with so much love in their eyes.

"But, all of it has brought us to this point of knowing . . . I can't live without you and we can get through anything. There may be hard times, but Meredith, we can do it. We have proven we can get through it." He was saying in just a whisper with a few tears starting to flow down both faces.

_She's the giver I wish I could be_

_And the stealer of the covers_

_She's a picture in my wallet_

_Of my unborn children's mother_

_She's the hand that I'm holding_

_When I'm on my knees and praying_

_She's the answer to my prayer _

_And she's the song that I'm playing_

After hearing this part of the song, he couldn't help but say this because the joy he felt in his heart . . . was overwhelming whenever he thought of it, "I can't wait for the day that you are . . . carrying our unborn children. I want to go through life with you . . . side by side."

i_And she's everything I ever wanted_

_And everything I need_

_I talk about her, I go on and on and on_

_Because she is everything to me_

He took a deep breath knowing this was the moment . . . he had waited for since the second he laid eyes on her.

She took a deep breath, knowing what was coming next, she couldn't wait for it all . . . with him.

"Meredith Grey, will you marry me . . . will you become my wife, my lover, the mother of my children. Will you walk through life with me forever?"

_She's the voice I love to hear_

_Someday when I'm ninety_

_She's the wooden rocking chair_

_I want rocking right beside me_

_Everyday that passes_

_I only love her more_

_Yeah, she's the one_

_That I'd lay down my own life for_

"Derek Shepherd, I want nothing more than to become your wife . . . your lover, the mother of . . . your children. I want it all. Yes, I will marry you."

They both had more than a few tears falling. He quickly stood and grabbed her on the way up, kissing her passionately; emitting all the love he had for her . . . that they had for each other.

_And she's everything I ever wanted_

_And everything I need_

_She's everything to me_

_Yeah, she's everything to me_

"I love you Derek . . . forever and ever.

"Forever and ever . . ."

_Everthing I ever wanted_

_And everything I need_

_She's everything to me_

_Yeah she's everything to me_

_Everything to me_

**Thank you to everyone reading and enjoying this story. It was sooooo much fun to write. I will be writing a sequel to this eventually, maybe this summer. With 2 other stories going, there is no way I can do it now, but I have some people who are really on me about it - so it will come. I will post here as well as the board I am an admin for. Thank you again and hope you enjoyed it!! Maggie**


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